Drunken Desires
by prplerayne
Summary: Van and Billie are forced to confront their feelings for and about each other after an argument. What are those feeling? What will they do about them?
1. Chapter 1

Drunken Desires

Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane, the characters or any rights to it whatsoever, I just write my own twisted storylines.

Background: Okay, we all remember how we got left hanging after "Iced". Well in my own Fastlane world, this story takes place about six months later. Billie got rescued, went through three months of rehab and is now back at work. Hill got transferred and The Candy Store is still in operation.

Chapter 1: I hate you! I hate you more!

Billie sat in her chair behind her desk. Her arms were folded on her chest and she sat there. Staring. And silent. She sat there staring a hole through Van's chest and not saying a word. She was mad; okay, make that absolutely livid. He had done it again. "Van, what the hell were you thinking?" She shouted, startling him and Deaq half to death. "Billie, I…I" he stammered. "Shut up!" she yelled back. "I thought we had an understanding! You SWORE it would never happen again! You said that after the fiascos with Cassidy Shaw and Sophia Jones that a mark was just that, a mark!" Billie hollered as she got out of her chair to stand in front of Van, staring down into his soulful green eyes. The fury fully present in her pool blue eyes. "She was a mark! Then through the course of the investigation, that YOU put us on, might I add, I got to know her better and realized that she just did it out of fear that Dan would kill her." Van explained hoping to enrage her to the point of speechlessness, by blaming her for his indiscretion with Adrienne Wilson. As soon as he said it though, he realized that it was only going to make her want to kill him more than she already did. "So, this is my fault? You're a sex maniac and this is all my fault?" She screamed getting only inches from his face. Okay, now he was scared. She had never done this before.

'_Come on man, don't be stupid; she's harmless.'_ Van thought to himself. As if reading his thoughts, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him up to his feet. "What the hell are you doing?" Van asked shocked as his butt left his seat. "I think she's about to kill you partner." Deaq commented with a slight grin on his face. "Shut up jerk-wad!" Van spat back at him. "He's almost right Van; if it weren't illegal I WOULD kill you!" She hissed. "Using heroine is illegal but you didn't let that stop you from doing it, now did you?" Van stupidly retorted. "Oh shit." Deaq muttered and prepared for his partners dead body to be dropped at his feet. It took Billie a second to realize what he had said, but when she did, all hell broke loose. "Why you little prick!" She hollered as she flung him against her desk…. hard. "That was different. I did that so I wouldn't blow a case!" She yelled as he slammed into the desk and yelped in pain. "This case didn't involve anything like that! Adrienne and Dan robbed a bank, kidnapped a teller and she just stood by while he tied that girl up to a chair, attached a cinder block to it and threw it off a dock!" Van just stood there shocked. This case raised a passion in her he hadn't seen since the Gavin West bust. "I know Billie, but she was afraid she would die!" Van tried to defend Adrienne. "I wonder if that twenty year old teller was afraid she was going to die too? What do you think her last thought was, Van? Do you think she wondered if her death would hurt or do you suppose she was wondering about her one year old little girl at home?" Billie questioned, her rage turning into some form of sorrow. When Van went quiet for an inordinately long time for him, she sat next to Deaq. "Well?" She asked, wanting him to answer the question. "Well what?" Van replied. "What do you think?" Billie snapped. "I think, I think I hate you!" Van spat out and started to walk out of her office. "I hate you more jackass!" She shouted after him.

Okay, that's it. There will be more background as the story continues. Be sure to look for why Billie feels/reacts so strongly in the next two chapters! What do you think so far? Please r&r!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Billie

Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did, Id be McG, now wouldn't I?

Billie sat in her living room pissed as ever. Yup, she was gonna kill the little fucker. Deciding to let that thought simmer, she popped open her bottle of triple sec. "I'll get him tomorrow." She said to herself as she knocked back a jigger of the searing liquid. "Ahh, that's good stuff." She thought as she leaned back on the couch cushion and took another swill. An hour later, the empty bottle sat on the coffee table next to her. As did six empty bottles of Corona and a half empty bottle of Merlot. She was drunk; actually make that trashed, and she knew it. "How can that little pecker even try to relate my relationship with Gavin and heroine to this? They are totally different!" Billie said to the thin air in front of her. Just thinking of the things Van had done with Adrienne made her want to puke. "I never did anything THAT nasty with Gavin…. at least not without heroine on board." She thought. "I wonder why Van's never tried to nail me like that? I mean, I'm attractive, and I could rock his world much better than she did!" Billie said dryly to the bottles staring back at her. _'Oh god, did I just say that?'_ she wondered then realizing she had, giggled. "Oh, I'm being ridiculous. So what if he's nice to look at?" She said in an effort to rid her mind of the image of Van standing before her in all his half naked glory on the set of the porn movie he had offered her up for. She had almost gotten him down to his tighty whiteies that day. "Damn Deaq! If he hadn't walked in with Ghost and Murdock, maybe, just maybe." She said to herself. _'Maybe what dear? You would have nailed him?' _ Her brain taunted. "I would have! And he would have liked it too; so there!" She yelled back at herself as she sat on the couch pouting.

By 2am the rest of the wine was gone as were a few shots of Jaggar. Billie hauled her stoked ass off the couch and into the bathroom. After three attempts, she managed to flip on the light and clung to the vanity as she looked in the mirror. "I need to get some sleep or I'll resemble Kojack in the morning" she said to her reflection. With that thought in her mind, Billie closed her eyes momentarily. "It is morning." Billie heard a familiar voice behind her and opened her eyes. "Van?" she questioned as she saw him in the mirror standing behind her. "Yeah, its me." He said as he walked up closer to her. She looked at her watch. "It's late. What are you doing here? How did you get in here anyway?" She questioned, exceptionally curious about the answer to her last question. "Shhh. Don't worry about that." He said as he put his hands on her shoulders and leaned into her ear, the lavender scent of her hair intoxicating him. Billie froze at the feeling of his breath on her neck. Slowly she reached up to take the earring out of her right ear. Just as she touched the gold hoop, Van's hand came up and captured hers. His touch was so soft and gentle; Billie could swear that it was a feather touching her. Slowly his hand enveloped hers as he brought the palm to his lips. He placed the gentlest kiss on her palm it made her feel as if he thought she was made of porcelain. " Van" she whispered. He didn't answer. Billie didn't feel his hand on her shoulder anymore or the warmth of his staggered breath on her skin.

Suddenly, her eyes opened. It had all been a dream. Strange as it was, she could still feel her palm tingle from where he had kissed her.

Billie stood there in surprise for a moment before a smile crept across her lips. "One day it'll happen." She said to herself. So what if she hadn't done it clean or sober in over 5 years? After what her step dad had begun doing to her after her mother's death, when Billie was only 7 years old, was enough to make a person become a nun! Well she hadn't gone quite that far but she did try to avoid remembering at all costs.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Fastlane or any of its characters. Those are solely the nightmares of the writing staff.

Chapter 3. Van

"How could she possibly hate me more than I hate her? She doesn't even know how much I hate her!" Van seethed as he knocked back another shot of Southern Comfort Bourbon. _'It's easy for her to hate you more; after all, she actually does hate you!'_ His brain laughed at him. "Maybe she does, but that's beside the point. Anyway, she's the hottest chick I'd never sleep with." Van lied to himself. He knew he'd sleep with her if he got the chance. "What the hell am I thinking?" Van yelled audibly at himself. "I'm pretty sure she swings the other door anyway so why am I even entertaining this thought?" He laughed to himself as he took the last swig out of his bottle and got up to throw it away as he grabbed a bottle of Scotch. Van made himself comfortable on the couch and flipped on The Playboy Channel. "Ooh, porn!" He said and smiled remembering Lena's set and what had almost happened there. _"Man she is REALLY hot! If you won't lay her can I do it?" _His brain laughed at him mockingly. "Shut up! You can't lay her without me doing the work so forget it already!" Van said almost inaudibly and smacked himself in the head as he took another chug of scotch. "Anyway, she is hot. There, I said it. Happy? Too bad she doesn't have the personality to match." He snickered as he rested the bottle on his bare chest and continued to stare at the television and think. He remembered the look on her face when he had told her what he'd need her to do. She was mad, really mad. _'She's awful cute when she's pissed, huh?'_ he thought with a slight smile tugging at his lips. "I guess I'm pretty lucky that she settled for throwing her jacket at me instead of breaking my neck with her bare hands after my crack about the need to know policy." Van said as he stared at the naked woman on his TV screen.

After an hour of watching Van's mind was running wild! "Man, I'd l..l..love to get it on with a ch….ch…ch…. chick like that." Van stuttered. _'You work with a chick like that dummy.'_ His brain stated. "I do not! I work with a witch that just happens to LOOK like that and that's it!" He said to himself. _"You'd do her anyway."_ His brain retorted.

"Okay, that's it, I need some sleep." Van said as he pulled himself up from his couch. He reached down to get the remote and lost his footing, falling face first on to the coffee table. "Son of a bitch!" Van yelled as he held his hand against his forehead and looked down to see what in the world he could have possibly tripped on. Realizing it was his own drunkenness that had caused him to fall, he thought to himself, "I hope that doesn't leave a mark or Deaq and Billie will never let me live it down." After all, they still made fun of him for getting beat up by a bathrobe over a year earlier. Van wandered into the bathroom with his mind still on the chimpanzees he called his partner and boss. "Okay, well maybe Deaq is more of an ape." Van snidely said to himself as he turned on the water for a quick shower. As he was waiting for the water to get hot, he quickly changed out of his clothes and looked in the mirror to see what, if any, mark was left on his head. Sure enough, there was a lovely purple welt about the size of a quarter already beginning to form. "How does she do it?" Van said to himself. It seemed that anytime he got a mark on him from something this stupid it was because he was thinking about Billie and not what the hell he was doing. "God I hate you Billie!" Van yelled as he stepped into the shower and pulled the clear plastic curtain shut. Van stepped under the hot spray and closed his eyes as the water streamed down on his head and down his chest and back. As he stood there, letting the water relax his tense muscles he felt a presence in the room. Van opened his eyes and looked out through the curtain to see what it was. It was Billie. She was sitting on the counter watching him, with an approving smile on her face. "Hi Van." She said as she hopped off the counter. "Billie? How the hell did you get in here?" Van said in shock. "I used a lock pick silly." She laughed as she walked closer to the shower. "This isn't happening." Van said trying desperately to clear his head. He had played out similar scenarios in his head before but now that she was here, he forgot what he had wanted to do if this situation ever did arise. _"Think stupid, think!"_ His brain shouted. "Of course this is happening Van. You mean you've never even entertained the possibility of such an occurrence?" She giggled as she put her hand on the curtain. Billie pulled the curtain back and stood there, staring at him, as he stared at her. "What happened to your head?" she asked. "Nothing, I just wasn't paying attention to what I was doing." Van answered still in shock that Billie Chambers was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a black jog bra and yoga pants. "That's why you hate me? Because you can't pay attention?" She playfully teased. Van felt a slow smile creep upon his face as he sheepishly looked away from her gaze, having just realized that he was naked. Billie reached into the stall and took his hand in hers. "Van. It's not like I've never almost seen it before. Relax, okay?" She said quietly. _'Okay, who the hell is this woman and what has she done with Billie?'_ Van thought to himself as their eyes connected again. "I'm not a lesbian Van. You want me as bad as I want you. It's always been that way and you know it. So do I." She said as if reading his thoughts. Van hesitated for a moment. Had this gorgeous creature just said she wanted him? There was only one way to find out and he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by. Van lifted her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. Much to his surprise she didn't pull away. As a matter of fact, he could have sworn he heard her gasp. _"Well, only one way to find out about that too."_ He reasoned, and with that, he pulled her into the shower with him. As an automatic response, Billie put her free hand flat on Van's chest to steady herself. Just the feel of his bare chest on her hand sent shivers up her spine. Billie looked up into Van's eyes and smiled. She was nervous, he could tell. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Van brought his finger up and laid it on her lips gently. "Shhh. We can talk later." He said as he leaned down to kiss her. Billie was surprised by the kiss. It took her a couple seconds to realize what was happening, but when she did, she decided she could tell him about her past later and why she could never be with him…or anyone for that matter. Now was the time for action, she reasoned. So Billie went with the flow of things. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed back, her own passionate need becoming evident. Van took this as a good thing and deepened the kiss. Instead of rejecting this advance as he had expected she would, she moaned and he put his hands on her waist and pulled her in closer. Billie trailed a hand down Van's chest. She took careful note of every inch of him. She knew that this could never happen again, so she decided to enjoy it while it lasted. Suddenly, Van's lips had left hers and were blazing a trail along her jaw line and down her neck. Van couldn't get enough of this woman. He wanted her. No, he needed her…desperately. It was time to act on all the feelings he'd had over the past year. All the frustration of being able to look, but not touch, reached its pinnacle in this moment. Slowly, but firmly Van backed Billie up against the shower wall.

In the next second, Van's face slammed into the wall. His eyes flew open. "Damn." He muttered as he lifted himself off the wall. He had fallen asleep momentarily and would definitely have a bruise to show for it tomorrow. "How am I going to explain this one to her?" Van questioned no one in particular. Quickly he turned off the water and stepped out into the bathroom. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed into the bedroom. "I guess I'll think of something." He said as he turned on his alarm clock, hopped into bed and turned out the light. His hope was that he could have the same dream over again. Van drifted off to a fitful sleep with images of Billie naked, in his bed, on his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or the characters.

DKM, thanks for the reviews so far! I see you are the only one that is doing the R and R. Everyone else is just reading. I hope that changes if y'all want me to finish!

Ch. 4 Owe, my head!

The sun was shining unusually bright that Thursday morning as Billie stumbled from her car into the Candy Store. As soon as she opened the door, she was met with the incessant sound of a basketball dribbling on the floor. She saw that it was Deaq making such an ungodly noise at 8:30 in the morning. "Deaq!" she yelled and immediately regretted it. "Stop that damn racket will you?" She finished as she headed for the coffee pot. Deaq looked up to see her walking like a zombie to get an obviously needed caffeine fix. "What the hell happened to you?" he snickered already knowing the answer. Billie poured her coffee as she looked at Deaq and replied, "Don't be a dick." Deaq laughed and followed her to her office, determined to get the story out of her. "A little pissy this morning, aren't we?" He laughed as he took a seat in the black chair across from her desk. Billie just shot a glare in his direction. "I had a bad night is all." She said hoping he'd buy her attempt to answer the question, without actually answering it. "I could have told you that." Deaq retorted. "Deaq." Billie growled. "Seriously boss, it looks like you got run over by a Jaggarmierter float… along with a Jack Daniels truck and a heard of Budweiser horses!" He replied with a wide smile. She was totally hung over and in no mood to be picked on. Deaq new that, but he also knew she was in no condition to kill him at the moment. At his crack, Billie moved her hand to the waistband of her jeans. Deaq new this was a signal for she was armed and dangerous. "Okay, well I'm gonna just leave you alone now." He said as he quickly jumped out of the chair and headed for the exit. "Deaq." She called after him. "I was just kidding around, promise!" Deaq called back. "Where is Van?" she continued. "He'll be here soon." Deaq answered hoping this meant she had forgotten his drinking crack. "When he gets in, send him in here for destruction will you?" She sneered. Van had caused her to not sleep the night before and now he'd pay weather he knew it or not. "Whatever Billie." Deaq laughed as he walked to the lounge.

Thirty minutes later, another scene played out in an eerily similar fashion; only it was Van with the hangover. Deaq took one look at Van's tousled hair and blood shot eyes and couldn't help but laugh, but it was the large bruises on his face that almost made Deaq drop dead right there. There was a purple welt smack in the middle of Van's forehead and an even more hideous mark right in the middle of his face! "What the hell happened to you last night? Did you spend the night with Billie or something?" Deaq asked while gasping for breath. "I didn't touch her!" Van said in shock before he could stop himself. Deaq stared at Van with a twinkle in his eye and nodded. Realizing what he'd just said, he back peddled furiously hoping that Deaq would drop the subject. "What's wrong with Billie?" Van asked, not really interested in the answer. "You should know, after all, you're the one that didn't touch her, remember?" Deaq answered the amusement in his voice obvious. "You're such a jerk." Van remarked. "And you're dead once she realizes you're here. " Deaq commented dryly. "Hey Billie!" He bellowed as he headed for her office followed closely by Van. As they stepped into the doorway of her office, they stopped and stared. "Whoa, what happened to her?" Van asked as he stared at the woman who was not anything close to conscious. "I think she got hit by a Heineken truck." Deaq said with a laugh. "Ouch." Van replied as he took a seat across from her. Billie was slumped over in her chair. Her arms were out stretched and wrapped around her head. She was face down effectively keeping all light from her eyes. Deaq walked over behind her chair and whispered in her ear; "Billie, wake up sunshine." Van snickered at this, knowing she wouldn't even be partly sunny once she came back to the world of the living. "Billie, get up!" Deaq said a bit louder this time. She only stirred slightly, wrapping her arms around her head tighter to block out the noise. "Oh, I guess I need to drag out the big guns huh?" Deaq said to Van and smiled. "What are you gonna do now?" Van asked curiously. "This." Deaq answered and stood up straight, taking a deep breath. "Lieutenant Chambers! What are you doing?" He hollered in his best Rolland Hill impression. With that, Billie jerked up with a start. "I was just…" she started. With that, Deaq and Van crumpled into fits of hysterical laughter. Billie sat there stunned for a moment. Then realizing it had all been a prank, she turned on Deaq. "You little shit, that wasn't funny!" She yelled. Deaq stopped laughing just long enough to say; "Oh sure it was!" Billie jumped to her feet and spun around poised to strangle the stupid prick. Just as she tried to grab his neck, she was hit by an enormous wave of nausea. "Oh, god." She said and ran to the bathroom.

Van and Deaq sat on the couch watching TV when Billie came out of the bathroom. Deaq watched her go back to her office and boot up her computer. "I wonder if she's in a better mood?" Van asked. "I doubt it. Hey, why don't you go talk to her and see?" Deaq offered. "Why the hell would I do that?" Van snapped. "Easy, you're as crocked as her, so chances are that she won't kill you and if she does, you won't feel it!" Deaq retorted with a smile. "Shut up jackass." Van spat out as he lifted himself off the sofa and headed to the coffee pot. He figured if he brought her some more coffee it would make her be nicer to him. He knew that after the argument yesterday that she wasn't too happy about what went down and he had a huge bruise on his back to prove it! Van stood in her doorway and just stared. She looked beautiful today, as always. _"She wore that shirt on purpose. And you love those jeans on her."_ His brain told him. Van chose this moment to make his presence known. "Um, Billie?" He started. "What do you want Van?" She shot back without looking up. "Nothing. I was just wondering if you're feeling better." He said thinking that maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. "I'm fine." Billie said as she brushed her hair out of her face and sat back in her chair. She looked at him and gestured towards the coffee. "Is that?" she started. "Oh, yeah. One cream, two sugars. " Van said handing her the cup as he sat down. Billie leaned forward to take the cup. "Thanks." She said as she leaned back. She realized Van was looking and it made her a little self-conscious. Indeed, Van was looking and he liked what he was looking at, though he'd never admit it. "So, what's up?" Billie asked hoping to shake the awkward feeling between them. "Well, I, uh, I just wanted to apologize for how things went down with Adrienne." Van said hoping that she'd respond less violently than she had yesterday afternoon. Billie stiffened. She was in no mood to go into her feelings about what Adrienne and Dan had done. And she REALLY wasn't in a mood to go into the reason she didn't want to talk about it. Van could tell that she didn't want to talk. _'Too bad, Ray. You have to get her to open up to you.' _ Van thought to himself. They sat there for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only two or three minutes before Billie spoke. "It's okay Van. I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I shouldn't have taken my feelings about what happened out on you." Van sat there for a second in silence. Had she really just said the s word? After a minute, Van got the feeling that the "what happened" that he was talking about and the "what happened" she was talking abut where two different things. Van decided to just come out and say it. "Okay, I'm getting the distinct feeling we aren't talking about the same thing here." He said bluntly. "What do you mean?" Billie said, pretending she had no clue what he was talking about. "I mean, I feel like you're apologizing for the way you are. I don't know who did what to you in your past, but if you want to talk about it, I'd be happy to listen." Billie choked on her coffee when he said this. She so badly wanted to tell someone that would listen to what had happened to her. To the horrible ordeal she heard her mother go through as Billie hid in her closet. She wanted to let it all out, to be free from her prison. As badly as she wanted this, she was scared. Scared that Van would see her as less of a person; less of a woman. She was scared that if she let him in, he would discover a way to use her weaknesses against her. _'After all, that's what men do."_ She reasoned. Van could see the thoughts going through her head. But what she was thinking he couldn't figure out exactly. "Billie." He said brining her back to the moment. "Oh, what was it you were saying?" she said hoping he'd forgotten. "I was saying that you can talk to me about anything." Van said, he sincerely felt this way too. "Oh, well, thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Billie said hoping he wouldn't press her. "Billie are you okay?" Van asked. She was reacting very strangely to this conversation. "Uh yeah, I'm fine." Billie said as she grabbed her keys and purse off her desk. "Are you sure?" Van continued to press hoping she'd tell him what was wrong. "Van, I'm fine!" She said her voice rising considerably. Billie knew she had to get out of there before he gleaned any more information out of her. " I just know what it feels like to be treated like a piece of trash." Billie hurriedly said and then ran out the door to her car. Van just stood, staring after her in disbelief and more than slightly puzzled.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane, but you probably knew that last chapter.

Ch 5 I'm Already There

The only light filtering in the small room was coming from the street lamps outside her window. Billie was laying on the floor huddled in the fetal position sobbing. Her back was pressed against the wall and all she could do was cry. As she sobbed, Billie pulled her knees up closer to her chest. She was in pain. A lot of it and she didn't know what to do to make it stop. After today's conversation with Van, she had been dying to get out of the office and come home. She went to lunch and was going to head home for the day under the pretense that she didn't feel well, but a phone call from Captain Parrish changed that. He had said he was faxing her a pile of papers that needed to be filled out on their last case and he needed them back by the end of the day. So, she headed back. For the rest of the day, Van and Deaq both left her alone. Van shot her many worried looks and Deaq pretended to be oblivious of her anxious state. At the end of the day, Van had walked her to her car. As she got in the car, Van caught her hand, causing her to look at him. "Billie, I care. If you ever need anything, please call me. No matter what time, just pick up the phone. Okay?" Van said, his voice and eyes full of concern. "Okay." Billie said giving him a halfhearted smile. With that on her mind, she sat up against the corner of the darkened room and grabbed her cell phone. She had Van on speed dial so dialing him was easy enough. As she waited for the phone to connect, she grabbed the hem of her oversized gray t-shirt and wiped the tears from her face. Before the second ring was through Van picked up the phone. "Billie, are you okay?" Was his greeting. "No." she answered as more intense sobs wracked her body.

Van was nervous now. Even if she had said she was fine, like she always did, he would have been able to tell differently. Still, the fact that she wasn't fine and admitted it alarmed him even more. Van was at full attention now as he listened to her cry. "What can I do Billie?" He asked calmly, hoping to bring her back down from wherever she was at. "I…I…I…don't…know." She began sobbing again. Van ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Billie was obviously hurting and there was nothing he could do about it over the phone. "Do you want me to come over?" he asked as he slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys to the Lime Green Charger he had forgotten to take back to the Candy Store. "Um, yeah. If its' not too much trouble that is." She said a little more coherently. "No. It's no trouble at all!" Van said, shocked that she'd even entertain the idea that she was bugging him. "Remember what I said earlier? I care and if you need anything let me know." Van said as he got down to his car. "Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot." Billie said mindlessly as she got up to unlock the door for him. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hang in there." Van almost begged as he screeched out of the parking lot and onto the still busy street and hung up the phone.

He called her on the road 

_From a lonely cold hotel room_

_Just to hear her say I love you one more time_

_But when he heard the sound_

_Of the kids laughing in the background_

_He had to wipe away a tear from his eye_

_A little voice cam on the phone_

_Said daddy when you coming home_

_He said the first thing that came to his mind_

Van was driving like a maniac. At a little past 7 in the evening, the streets where still pretty crowded. He could only hope that the traffic gods were on his side and he'd hit every green light on the drive over. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake that what she was going through right now directly related to what she'd said this afternoon. And he also couldn't help but feel that whatever had happened to her in her life, fueled the dependence she had developed on heroine. _"I just know what it feels like to be treated like a piece of trash." _Those words kept echoing over and over in Van's mind. What exactly had Billie meant? Was she alluding to something that had happened in her past? He had a feeling she was, but still he couldn't be sure. If he had only learned one thing about Billie Chambers since they'd first met, it was not to assume anything about her. She had shown him on more than one occasion that if he did, he would most certainly be wrong. "Damn! Won't this stupid car go any faster?" Van yelled in an exasperated tone. Van was only a couple blocks from her apartment when a terrifying thought hit him. "Oh god! What if she's in a bad place again? What if she's thinking of getting high? Or even worse." He finished saying to himself. "No. I can't think like that." He said as he turned into the driveway of the apartment building.

I'm already there 

_Take a look around_

_I'm the sunshine in your hair_

_I'm the shadow on the ground_

_I'm the whisper in the wind_

_I'm your imaginary friend_

_And I know I'm in your prayers_

_Oh I'm already there_

Van hurried up the stairs to her unit and knocked on the door. He waited for a minute, but nothing. So, he knocked again. Still, nothing. Van was getting worried now. He only hoped he'd gotten here in time to help her. He had no clue what was wrong or what she had on her mind. With that thought weighing heavily on him, he tried the door. It was unlocked. Slowly Van opened the door and walked in. An eerie feeling came over him immediately. The apartment was totally dark with the exception of street lamps shining in through the sheer white curtains on the windows. "Billie?" Van called apprehensively. She didn't answer. He walked into the living room and didn't see anything besides empty liquor bottles on the coffee table and an afghan draped on the back of the black leather sofa. So, he walked towards the spotless kitchen. The appliances looked new, like they'd never been used and the floor and counters were meticulously clean. "Okay, this seems more in character for her." Van commented softly. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen to continue his search, he heard a muffled sob. Van knew the sound was coming from behind him. When he turned around nothing was there, except the doorway to her bedroom. Slowly he approached the door so as not to spook her if she were right around the corner. "Billie?" He softly called again as he entered the doorway and was met by another sob. This time it was definitely closer. Van's eyes scanned the dimly lit room and saw her huddled in the far corner behind the bed crying. Quickly he walked over to the adjoining bathroom to flip on a light so he could see. A woman definitely lived there. The bathroom had a vanity with make up, perfume and two jewelry boxes haphazardly strewn on it. Another sob and sniffle dragged Van out of his thoughts as he quickly backed out of the room and headed to where Billie was balled up in the corner like a frightened child. Slowly, he lowered himself next to her and he couldn't help but feel her pain. Van reached up and touched her hair. "Shhh, it's gonna be okay Billie. I promise." Van whispered.

She got back on the phone 

_Said I really miss you darling_

_Don't worry about the kids they'll be all right_

_Wish I was in your arms_

_Lying right there beside you_

_But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight_

_And I'll gently kiss your lips_

_Touch you with my fingertips_

_So turn out the light and close your eyes_

Billie stopped crying when she felt Van's hand. Suddenly she felt…safe. Van could tell she was becoming calmer. He continued to play with her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?" He gently asked. Billie looked up at Van her eyes showing fear. As a response, she moved herself away from him and further into the corner. Billie looked down at her feet and began to cry all over again. Van decided the best thing to do was just be quiet, and that wasn't easy for him, and offer silent support. For the next thirty minutes he sat there and rubbed her back as she cried.

I'm already there 

_Don't make a sound_

_I'm the beat in your heart_

_I'm the moonlight shining down_

_I'm the whisper in the wind_

_And I'll be there until the end_

_Can't you feel the love that we share_

_Oh I'm already there_

Finally Billie calmed down. Once she began to breathe normally again, she was conscious of Van still sitting there rubbing her back. He had stayed. "Van, you're still here." She said looking straight ahead. "I know. And I'll be here for as long as you need me." He said moving his hand from her back to her left hand. "You didn't leave. Everyone always leaves, but not you. Why?" She asked making eye contact for the first time since he'd been there. Van looked at her shocked. "Everyone leaves?" He asked. "Yeah." Was her reply. Now that she'd realized that she'd let something else slip, she hoped it wouldn't happen again. "Billie, I'm not leaving. Do you understand? I'm never leaving. That isn't what you do to someone you love." Van blurted out. Billie stared at him in shock. "L…l…love?" She almost shouted. Van could see that she wasn't quite sure she'd heard him right. Hell, he wasn't even sure he'd actually admitted it. "Yeah, love." Was all he said. "Van, you can't love me. No one loves me. That ended when my mother died. Ever since I've been second rate trash." Billie said as the tears emerged again.

We may be a thousand miles apart 

_But I'll be with you wherever you are_

Van couldn't believe it. Their upbringings had been so different yet so similar already. "You didn't become a cop because of Bullitt did you?" Van asked. Billie was getting nervous now. He could sense too much off her. "No." She answered and prayed that would be enough. "Well, then why did you join the PD?" Van asked, more than curiosity taking over him. "My step dad was a real ass. My real dad was worse. The police couldn't stop them so I had to protect myself." Was all she said.

I'm already there 

_Take a look around_

_I'm the sunshine in your hair_

_I'm the shadow on the ground_

_I'm the whisper in the wind_

_And I'll be there until the end_

_Can you feel the love that we share_

_Oh I'm already there_

_Oh I'm already _

_There_

Suddenly Van understood Billie better. She was no longer this unapproachable distant person that he'd known for a year, but she was a woman. She was a strong, yet sensitive woman who had been scarred by her past more than anyone could know. Van couldn't help himself. All the sudden he felt he needed to protect her and show her that she was lovable and deserved to be loved. He could only think of one way to meaningfully convey that to her. Slowly he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a comforting hug. Billie laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped both arms around her waist. She snuggled deeper into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck as his grip tightened. They stayed like that for several minutes before Van got her attention. "Billie?" he said softly. She looked up at him, he baby blue eyes shining and red rimmed from crying. Van looked into her face and couldn't help but smile. "What?" she asked. "This." Van said and lowered his lips to touch hers gently. Billie was taken aback but she didn't fight it. She welcomed the kiss and returned it. Her lips played on his for several seconds. They both knew this was right. Van couldn't imagine kissing anyone else like this. With all the others it had been about one thing…sex. That was always the bottom line. This was different. There were intense emotions in her kiss and he wanted to explore them all, wanted to get to know her. As a woman, a friend and a lover. All in time it would happen. He reached his hands up to her face and felt the tears streaming down. Slowly he wiped them away without breaking the kiss. Billie knew it. This is what love was. It didn't hurt at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don own Fastlane or its characters. I only own the plot of this story.

A/N I know I left you with a cliffhanger last chapter but that was the only way I could make this one work. Enjoy and remember to r/r!

Ch. 6 Broken

On Friday morning, both Billie and Van were late to work. Van had stayed over the previous night after that kiss and they'd had dinner, kissed, talked, kissed, watched TV, kissed some more, talked and, well, you get the picture. They had taken their own cars to work and Billie had arrived five minutes ahead of Van. She walked into the Candy Store with a smile on her face and a glimmer in her eye. "Hi Deaq!" She sang as she walked to her desk. "Lovely day isn't it?" She asked as she shot him a winning smile and sat down. Deaq was quite shocked at her temperament this morning. As a rule Billie was hardly ever happy, period, let alone happy enough to notice the weather. "Um, Billie, why are you late?" He questioned as he sat across from her. "Huh?" she asked as she hadn't even heard him. "It's almost ten o'clock. That's not like you to be late." He commented as if it should be obvious to anyone with in a twenty-mile radius. "Oh, I just overslept is all." She answered dryly. "Have you done something?" He asked. "No." Billie said sweetly. "Okay, well what do you want then?" Deaq continued to press for an answer to her good mood. "Why do you assume I've done or want something?" Billie said getting slightly annoyed. "Um, you're happy. You're NEVER happy!"

Just then, Van attempted to sneak in under Deaq and Billie's radar. He knew she'd have to yell at him for this to keep Deaq's suspicions from rising. "VAN!" she yelled. "I'm sorry!" he called back from the door. "Get in here!" she yelled back. "It won't happen again, I promise!" Van whined stepping out from the doorway. "NOW!" Billie bellowed to get her point across. Van sulked into her office and looked at Deaq; "What's gotten her goat?" Van sneered as he glanced at Billie. "I think she ran Hill over with her car or something." Deaq joked. Van couldn't help but snicker, after all, that was something Billie would do! "Deaq, get…out…now!" Billie seethed. Deaq new better than to mess with her, she was back to her usual bitchy self and that was never good, so he excused himself. That just left Van and Billie. Van sat on her desk and leered at her. "You're sexy when you're homicidal." Van said with a dangerous grin. "Fuck you Van." Billie shot back with a smile and gave him the finger. Van just stuck his tongue out at her and said, "I'm sure you'd do that wouldn't you?" "Van you're a pig. Incredibly sexy, but still a pig." Billie said with a laugh. "Oink oink baby!" Van said causing Billie to laugh. "Why don't you just go roll around in some mud and leave me alone so i can finish my work?" Billie said dryly. "What, you don't wanna play dirty too? I'll buy you the bikini." Van teased. "No, I prefer to wrestle naked." Billie said with a seductive smile. Van's eyes almost flew out of his head when he heard this. "Oh yeah? Prove it." He challenged in his most seductive voice. "Maybe I will." Billie said and got up and walked out of her office. Just as she walked by Van, he reached back and grabbed her ass! "Van!" she squealed and slapped at him. "Hey, that's Van abuse!" he shouted as she whacked his hand. Billie just laughed and kept walking.

Meanwhile, Deaq had heard her shriek and looked in the direction of her office. He looked just in time to see her slap Van's hand and him remove it from her ass. A smile formed on Deaq's face as he saw this. _'Oh, this is gonna be one hell of a day!'_ he thought as he watched Van go up to the theater seats. Deaq got off the couch and immediately followed him. He got up there and took a seat next to Van. "So, you want to explain why your hand was on her ass?" Deaq snickered. "Shut up." Van retorted sharply. "Oh come on! You mean to tell me you haven't been dreaming about getting your hands on her at all this year?" Deaq challenged. "The hottest chick I'd never sleep with, remember?" Was Van's answer. "Who said anything about sleeping?" Deaq retorted. "Go fuck yourself!" Van snapped. "What, this isn't an amusing topic?" Deaq mocked pity. "Billie! Make him stop!" Van hollered at his superior. "Deaq, knock it off!" She shouted back from below the balcony where she was watching and laughing. "Uhuh." Deaq said and got up. "There's nothing quite like getting a woman to fight your battles, huh Van?" Deaq snickered and made a mad dash for the stairs. "I'm gonna kill you ass wipe!" Van hollered after Deaq as he fled.

That night, Van and Billie decided to "work" late. Van was glad when Deaq left them alone. All day he'd been waiting to get her alone so they could talk. The more he'd thought about it, the more he wanted to know exactly what she'd meant by her step dad being an ass and her real dad being worse. He also wanted to know why the police "couldn't" protect her. Van wandered into her office where she was closing down her computer for the night. "Hey you. You finally winding down for the night?" Van asked as he leaned against the doorway. "Yeah. It's late and I'm getting tired." Billie said looking up and giving Van a slick smile. "Damn. I was hoping we could wrestle a little tonight, but if you're tired, you're tired." Van pouted. Billie sauntered up to him and pressed her chest into his as she whispered in his ear; "Hey, I'm not THAT tired!" "Oh you're not huh?" Van whispered and lowered his head to kiss her. As he kissed her his hand raised the hem of her blue shirt. His fingers tickled a trail along her back and around her stomach just under her navel. Billie giggled and playfully slapped his hand away. Van quickly yanked his hand back and whined when she hit him, "Hey! That's boy toy abuse! Be nice or I won't play with you." He laughed. Billie looked up at him and pouted. "Well if I have to behave it won't be near as much fun." She whispered as she undid the snap on his almost-too-tight jeans. When he felt her hand brush against his stomach, he took in a sharp breath. "Come on." He whispered. He grabbed her hand and led her to the middle of the showroom. Billie stopped and grabbed Van. They locked in a kiss full of urgency. He needed her, now. Van backed her up. The next thing she knew, he had her laying on the hood of a cherry red Series 62 1959 Cadillac Convertible. Billie worked her hands underneath his shirt and slowly lifted it up his back. Van lifted himself off her slightly so that she could lift the shirt over his head. The whit tee shirt landed in the back seat of the car. With his shirt gone, Billie raked her nails down his back and whispered his name. Van blazed a trail of hungry kisses form her cherry lips down her neck, stopping to nibble on her pulse point momentarily before continuing down to her collarbone. Van reached up with one hand and undid the buttons of her cornflower blue shirt. As he gently but quickly undid them, his hand brushed against her left breast. "Van" she moaned and kissed his neck. Van pulled her to a partially sitting position in order to remove her shirt. The shirt flew to the back of the car along with his. Before he put her down on the hood again, he undid the clasp of her bra. Slowly he laid her down on the hood and removed the item, tossing it aside. Van just hovered above her and stared in awe. "Wow. You're more beautiful than I could have imagined." Van said breathlessly. Billie just blushed and looked away. She had never been told that before and it was hard to think that anyone could think of her as beautiful. If only he knew what she looked like on the inside he'd think differently. Van saw her wavering insecurity. He cupped her chin with his hands and made her look at him. "Billie, look at me. You are beautiful, understand me? There is nothing not beautiful, sexy and lovable about you." Van sincerely said. That was all she could take. She had to tell him now before their relationship went too far or he'd definitely feel cheated when he found out. Just the thought of cheating him made her feel horrible. Suddenly she could feel the tears getting ready to flow. Her lip trembled and she couldn't face him, so she looked away. Van just sat there looking for a few seconds. He felt horrible that someone had made her feel so bad about herself and he wanted to kill the son of a bitch. Van cupped her chin again and made her look at him. He was concerned and she could tell. It tore Billie up that he cared this much about her, yet she couldn't care about anyone. A loud sob escaped her lips as she suddenly burst into tears.

Van slowly rolled off her. He sat up and pulled her into his arms. Billie collapsed into his chest and cried. The sobs shook her body violently. So violently that each time, Van tightened his grip on her to cease her shaking and calm the tears. Now Van had felt helpless before, but never like this. He so wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. Van didn't know what to do. "Please don't cry Billie." He whispered hoping she'd calm down. Still she cried. Van kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arm.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh 

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

Slowly Billie calmed down. Van continued to hold her and rub her arm. "Shhh, it's gonna be fine." He whispered softly in her ear. "No it's not! It's never gonna be okay!" She wailed and started crying hard as ever. Van could feel his anger rising. It wasn't directed at her though. He was angry with her father. He was angry with her step father. Van was angry with anyone and everyone that had caused her to feel this way in her life. That's it, he had to know what had happened and had to let her know it would never happen again as long as he had a breath in his body. Van sat her up and held her at arms length, ready to embrace her again if she began to loose it once more. "Billie, I don't know exactly what happened to you, but as long as I'm alive I will do everything in my power to make sure it never happens again." He said in a gentle but firm tone, hoping she'd believe him. Immediately she stopped crying and looked at Van with bewilderment on her face. "Really?" she asked in disbelief. "Yeah. What happened was NOT your fault! You did nothing to anyone to deserve being treated the way you were." Van told her, his hand moving to cup her chin. For a brief moment Billie looked at Van with a slight smile on her face. It quickly faded once she realized that he didn't know

EXACTLY what they'd done to her and she'd have to tell him. Her heart broke all over again. Van was so sweet and he really wanted to help her. She wanted him to help her, wanted to let him in, but she knew she couldn't. After all, she was damaged goods and couldn't be fixed. Suddenly she couldn't stand the thought of him touching her, looking at her. Not with the kind of love he did. Billie pulled away and wrapped her arms around her breasts. Immediately Van saw that she was uncomfortable and hopped off the car. He grabbed his white shirt out of the back and handed it to her to put on. Billie slipped on the shirt, but remained silent. "Billie, what is it? What happened? You can tell me." Van said taking his seat next to her again and taking her hand in his.

'_cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

'_cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel light when you're gone away_

She took a deep breath and looked at the wall in front of her. "I was born in Tempe, Arizona." She began. "My mom was young when she had me, only twenty years old. My grandfather told her that if she wanted to keep me she had to marry my father or he'd send her away, so she married him. I was born six months after the wedding. According to my mom, Roger was an okay guy til they got married, after that he totally changed." She slowly explained hoping that she could tell him the story without losing it. Van could sense her hesitation. He couldn't blame her though. Already he didn't like where her life story was going. As a sign of support he squeezed her hand and with his free hand began to gently stroke her hair. "It's okay, sweetie. Take your time, we have all the time you need to talk about this." Billie slowly turned her eyes from the wall to the partially clad man sitting beside her and gave him a weak smile before continuing. "As far back as I can remember, he was always brutal to us. He hit my mom all the time if she said or did something he didn't like. It didn't even matter if she had actually done it or if it was just in his fucked up mind. He wasn't much better to me. I wasn't hit near as often as her, but I was still hit a lot. Most of the time he would yank me off the floor by my hair and throw me against a wall if I didn't do something right or was disrespectful in any way. When I was three, they divorced. In order to get away from him, my mom took me to Dallas. She met Richard and they got married when I was four. Lorelei was born seven months later and William was born when I was six." Billie said and waited to see if Van would have a good or bad reaction. "So, you have a little brother and sister?" Van questioned. "Yeah." Was all she said.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again 

_I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away_

_There's so much left to learn and no on left to fight_

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain 

"Do you see them often?" Van asked, feeling that there was more to them then just shared DNA. "No." Billie said and shook her head. "Why not?" he gently asked, encouraging her to continue her story. "I got out." She commented sadly. "I left them there with Richard after mom died and Roger went to jail." She explained the tears glistening in her eyes. She knew what was coming next. "You're mom died? How?" Van questioned carefully. He didn't want to make her tell him something if it was too painful, but at the same time, he really felt the need to know. Billie couldn't take it anymore, it was too painful. As she prepared to answer the question, the sound of her mother begging for her life and screaming as she died echoed in her head. "S…sh…she was murdered." Billie stuttered and began to sob uncontrollably. Van couldn't believe it. How she kept that locked inside was a mystery to him. But then again, he hadn't been terribly forthcoming with her regarding Ray Ray so he shouldn't be too surprised, they were more alike than either of them would ever admit. Slowly Van wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest as she cried. After a good ten minutes, Van tried to get her to tell him a little more about what had happened. "Do you know who killed your mom?" He gently prodded. "Yeah. Roger did it." Billie stated shakily. "Your dad did that!" Van almost yelled in shock. Billie just stared at him. "I told you he was a grande supreme ass." She commented before looking down again. "There's more." She whispered, the sorrow in her voice evident. "Oh no. What else could have happened? Did you find her body or something?" Van asked hoping he was wrong until Billie gave him a look that told him he wasn't. "I was there when he killed her." Billie admitted. "You were there? You mean he made you watch!" Van said in shock. "No, I didn't see it. But…..I heard it." Her voice trailed off as more tears ran down her cheeks. "Oh my god, Billie, I am so sorry!" Van exclaimed as he grabbed her into a tight hug. "I hid in my closet when he broke in. I just knew he was going to kill us both. When they divorced, he promised he'd find us wherever we went and when he did, we would die." Billie explained. Van just kept hugging her. He had always known something wasn't right with Billie, but this is worse than he'd imagined. "He broke in and began yelling at her. I heard their voices coming down the hall, so I hid in my closet. After that, I could hear him hitting her. Then he choked her and stabbed her. I stayed in the closet til Richard came home." Billie finished explaining.

'_cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

'_cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

"After her funeral, things were so different for us. Mom was dead, Richard had us three kids to care for. William was his pride and joy. Lorelei was his princess and I was the reason his wife died." She explained mournfully. "Billie your mother's murder wasn't your fault." Van said trying to make her understand. "Yeah, well he thought it was." She retorted as she hopped off the hood of the car and began to pace the showroom. "It wasn't long til he started to hit me. Whenever he missed her, or got mad about what had happened, he'd beat me for it." She continued in a matter of fact tone. I was always told that if I had tried to stop Roger then I would have been killed and not her!" Billie said, starting to cry again at the end. Van couldn't believe that someone had told her they wished she was the dead one! "Anyway, this went on for the next seven years. Roger got put in prison for life and I got beaten and was in my own prison. I tried to have him stopped but he was too powerful in town. Everyone that could help didn't because they were afraid of him." Billie sobbed as she stopped walking and sank down on the floor. "You mean the police were afraid? Why didn't they just swoop in, cuff him and haul his ass away?" Van asked in an angry tone. "You don't understand. They couldn't do that." Billie answered not wanting to have to tell him why. "Why the hell not Billie? You were a child and he was hurting you! That's illegal and they should have stopped it, no excuses!" Van yelled. This time he was angry with her. She was making excuses for her abuser and he couldn't stand it. Billie brought her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. "It's not that easy!" She hollered, her emotions getting the best of her. " He was the police commissioner! If they would have done something, it would have meant their jobs and bad press for the department!" she yelled as she laid her head on her knees and totally lost it. "Billie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Van started to apologize. After a minute, she calmed down. "It's okay. I did go to them for help once. He found out. That night I was beaten, raped and strangled by him. I couldn't take it anymore after that so I left and made my way to California." Billie finished, not wanting to look up at Van after her last statement.

'_cause I'm broken when I'm open_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_

'_cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel light when you're gone away_

Van slowly got down on the floor across from her and just waited until she looked at him. "Billie, I am so sorry you had to go through all that." Van sincerely said. Billie just stared blankly at him. "Just don't tell Deaq, okay?" She said, fearing what kind of reaction he would have if he found out. "Okay." Van said as he held out his arms to her. Slowly Billie sank into him and laid her head on his lap. Van just looked down at her. She'd had a rough night already. "Close your eyes and get some rest, okay?" Van said as he stroked her hair. "Okay." Billie mumbled as she drifted off, the evening having worn her out. Within ten minutes she was asleep and Van felt comfortable enough to gather up Billie and the discarded clothing. He carried her out to his car and drove back to his apartment. Once there, he carried her inside and laid her out in his bed. After quickly changing he climbed next to her under the covers. Billie snuggled into his side and let her head rest on his chest. Finally Van felt that she was sleeping peacefully for what he felt was the first time in forever. After an hour or more of watching her sleep, he to drifted off. There was no work tomorrow so they could enjoy this time, just the two of them.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7 The Morning After

A/N I don't own it! DKM, thanks for the reviews!

So sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been out of town with my grandma who has just had surgery to remove stomach cancer. She's doing well right now, but please pray for her.

The sun shone brightly into the bedroom that morning. Van stirred as he came back to consciousness and was immediately aware of someone next to him. Slowly he rolled onto his side and saw her. Billie was still sound asleep. Van's thoughts immediately went back to the previous night. What an amazing experience that had been. And then the horrible recounting of her life had followed. Immediately Van was struck with a pang of anger which was followed immediately by a pang of guilt. He was angry all that had happened to her and felt guilty that he spent his time bitching about his life and parents, yet she never said a thing! She always sympathized with how he felt. "Man, I guess she is just incredible like that." Van said to himself as he snuggled in closer to her. Within a couple minutes Van was starting to drift off to sleep. It had only been less than half an hour since Van fell asleep when Billie woke up. Immediately she didn't realize her surroundings. For one, she was on the wrong side of the bed. Second, this was not her room. She felt an arm around her waist and rolled over to see who it was. "How the hell did I get here?" She asked in confusion when she saw Van before the previous nights events came flooding back. Billie looked at the sleeping man and smiled. Van had always been cute, but right now she found him damn irresistible. "Van wake up." She whispered in his ear. Van still slept. So, Billie tried harder. She stroked his cheek and planted a soft kiss on his lips. As an automatic response, Van kissed back_. 'Gosh, he can do this in his sleep? Interesting."_ Billie thought as a still sleeping Van wrapped his arms around her. As Van still kissed her, Billie decided this would be more fun if he was awake, so she pinched the back of his neck and said loudly, "Van, what are you doing?" Van's eyes shot open and he pulled his head back in shock. Once he realized it was her he feigned annoyance. "That's not funny. I'm gonna go sleep on the couch." He laughed and started to get out of bed. "Oh wait a minute." Billie said and pulled him back into the bed. "Maybe there is a way I can, oh I don't know, make it up to you?" She slyly bribed. "Oh and how do you propose to do that?" Van whispered as he pulled her to his chest. Billie giggled as she leaned in for a kiss. The kiss started off slow and sweet but quickly turned into something more passionate and urgent. This was it, they needed each other and they knew it. Van's hands roamed up her shirt and made contact with her breasts. Billie knew this was it, she needed him, desperately. Just as things were reaching the point of no return, there was a sharp knock as the door. Van looked at Billie, "They'll go away." He said and continued to kiss her. A moment later, there was a second louder knock. "You better go get that before they bust down the door." Billie giggled as she wiggled out of his grasp. "I'm gonna go get a shower while you take care of that." She said and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. There was a third bang on the door. "God dam nit! Just a fucking minute!" Van hollered as he opened the door.

"Well good morning!" Deaq chirped at an obviously annoyed Van. "Deaq, it's Saturday!" Van nearly yelled as Deaq came into the apartment. "So?" Deaq answered. He had obviously caught Van at a bad time and he decided to take advantage of it. "So, why don't you go on Vancation?" Van nearly hissed. "Oh is this a bad time? You aren't relaxing are you?" Deaq chuckled. "What…do…you want?" Van seethed. "I was just wondering if you were up to getting some coffee?" Deaq innocently said. "No!" Van snapped. "Ooh, a little touchy today aren't you?" Deaq sneered. Just then, it happened. There was a woman's voice coming from the bedroom. "Hey Van, you got a shirt I can borrow?" She called. "Um, yeah, pick anyone." Van answered back. "Thanks." She yelled back. Van knew the gig was up. With hearing her talk again, Deaq's eyes almost shot out of his head. Even though he didn't see her, he knew it was definitely Billie he had heard. "So, you were working late? What were you working on?" Deaq nearly busted out laughing as he asked the last question. "Shut up moron." Van muttered as he sat on the sofa. Just then Billie came out of the bedroom with her jeans on and buttoning up the black shirt she'd taken from Van's closet. She froze when she looked up and saw Deaq staring at her and snickering. "Deaq, what are you doing here?" She exclaimed. "I would ask you the same thing, but I think this situation is pretty self explanatory." Deaq mused. "But it's a weekend! You love having time away from Van! Remember, he's unstable and has Attention Deficit Disorder?" She exclaimed. "You like having time away from him too! It's a miracle you haven't killed him remember?" Deaq shot back. "Hey! I'm RIGHT HERE!" Van yelled in an insulted tone. "Oh I'm sorry honey. She mocked pity. " I say more than that stuff about you." She said sweetly. "Like what?" Van sat on the sofa with his arms crossed and pouting like a preschooler. "Like how I love that you're such a beaten dog!" Billie said, hardly getting the words out before collapsing on the sofa in laughter. "Har har, very funny!" Van snorted. "Oh I'm sorry. I was just having fun!" Billie said scooting closer to him on the couch as her laughter subsided. "Get away from me!" Van said, mocking being hurt. "Oh come on, let me kiss your ego booboo better." Billie said in a motherly tone. "Oh that's not funny, but my ego could use a kiss." Van whispered pulling her in for a kiss. After about fifteen seconds of kissing, they heard Deaq whining. "Oh stop it! Get a room!" Billie pulled away from Van and giggled. "Deaq, get out!" She laughed getting up to open the door. "Hey, you can't get rid of me, this is his house!" Deaq protested as she ushered him to the door. "Bye Deaq!" Van chuckled as Billie shoved Deaq out the door and closed it behind her. "So, what do you want to do know?" She asked making her way back to where Van sat, chuckling. "Oh, I'm kind of hungry. How about some pancakes?" Van asked. "Sure, you gonna cook?" Billie joked. "Ha. That's cute. I was thinking of going to IHOP." Van answered. "Okay." Was her reply as she pulled him off the sofa.

Forty-five minutes later, the pair sat in a booth eating pancakes and drinking coffee. "You look pretty today." Van said with a smile as he reached over the table and took her hand. Billie just smiled and blushed as she looked down at her plate. "Thanks." She said softly. "I mean it." Van said squeezing her hand to make her look at him. "I know. It's just that I'm still not used to people saying that unless they want something." Billie said squeezing his hand back. "Well, I have to be honest then. I do want something." Van told her with a hint of amusement in his voice. Billie took a sip of her coffee and smiled. "Yeah? And what do you want?" she flirted. "I want you to believe me." He answered. "That's it? I think I can do that then." Billie jokingly replied. "In all seriousness, there is something that I want from you," Van said. Billie stared at him, afraid of what he was about to say. "Will you go out with me tonight?" Billie let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "I would love to go out with you." She said happily. "Great! I'll take you back to your apartment and then I'll pick you up at around seven tonight? We can go get a bite to eat and maybe a movie?" He finished. "Yeah we could do that or we could just go over to Ryde and have a few drinks and dance." Billie offered. "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan." Van replied a little relieved. Billie wasn't your typical girlfriend and he didn't want to take her on a typical first date. Billie was happy he liked the idea. She never did like the traditional dinner and a movie type of date. They seemed to lack any sense of spontaneity to her. Within fifteen minutes the couple was back in Van's car and heading towards Billie's place. It was a little after two o'clock when Van dropped her off. "Okay, so I'll see you at seven then." Van said as she got out of the car. "Yeah, don't be late." Billie jokingly said as she gave Van a quick kiss and hopped out of the car. She got a few steps away and turned back around. "Hey Van." She said. "Yeah, what?" Van asked having a feeling she was going to say something about what he shouldn't wear. "It'd be really nice if you wore a jacket and tie!" Billie said with a smile. "Yes dear." He muttered as he pulled away from the sidewalk.

It was almost 7 pm when there was a knock at Billie's door. Billie took one last look in the mirror to make sure that her hair was still in place. After Van had left her, she'd been able to get a hair appointment to get some golden blonde highlights put in her hair to frame her face and bring out her sparkling blue eyes. She had on a stunning red evening dress. It was cut low to about two inches above her navel. And had a wide heart shaped neckline that didn't cover more than three inches of her breasts. The dress was almost floor length. It came down just til it grazed the top of her foot. The spaghetti shoulder straps added and element of flirtation to the classy design. The twist knot that rested between her breasts on the dress had two pieces of flowing red silk fabric added an extra touch of whimsy to the outfit. Her open toed strappy heels put the finishing touch on the outfit.

Happy with her appearance, she went to open the door. Before her stood Van. He was wearing a charcoal gray suit with a burgundy button down shirt and a tie in a lighter shade of gray, complimented by gold cufflinks. "Um, wow. You look absolutely stunning!" Van exclaimed as he stepped inside and handed her the bouquet of yellow pansies he'd picked up. "Oh they're beautiful." She commented as she took the flowers and placed a peck on Van's cheek. "You look nice yourself. More than a little uncomfortable, but nice." She said with a smile. "I have a noose around my neck Billie. You would be uncomfortable too." Van mused as he followed her to the kitchen. "Probably so, but at least I wouldn't look like I'm going to the guillotine." She joked. "You're funny." Van quipped as he spun her around to look at him. "Oh what? I'm just having fun!" She pouted. "Yeah, well why not play a game where I can have some fun too?" Van flirted and kissed her. Billie kissed him back. She knew where he was heading with this and didn't mind that much at all. Even so, she decided to play a little hard to get. She pulled away and giggled. "The least you could do is get me sufficiently liquored up in the pre-game show." She teased. Van laughed and kissed her again. "Yeah okay. So where are we going tonight? It can't be Ryde since you don't need a tie to impress Aquarius." Van stated. "Well the place we're going to is in Santa Monica. It's called The Brig. And you must wear a tie to get in!" Billie stated nonchalantly. "Okay." Van said a little relieved that they wouldn't be seeing Aquarius, or worse, running into Deaq. "After that, then we'll go to Ryde." She added almost as an afterthought. Van's face when slack. "What?" He asked. "How much alcohol do you need?" He commented hoping to change her mind. "Oh I don't need that much silly, but you look nice and I want to show you off." She answered matter of factly. "Okay, but what if Deaq is there?" Van protested. "What about it? It's not like he doesn't know what's going on here, remember?" Billie protested prettily. "Yeah but he'll see me in a tie! I don't wear ties, Billie!" Van almost shrieked like a girl. Billie just laughed. "Beaten dog Van, remember?" "Well, let's go get it over with." Van grumbled and headed for the door.

An hour later, the couple sat in the bar called The Brig. The motif of the bar was reminiscent of an English pub. The pair sat in a corner booth. The lighting was low and the atmosphere quiet but not stifling. This was the perfect place for Van and Billie to be on their first date, and contrary to what Van had moaned about in the car, many of the men were in ties. "See, this isn't so bad, is it?" Billie commented as she leaned against the back of the seat as Van snuggled next to her and wrapped his arm around her bare shoulders. "Yeah, I guess it's okay. I can put up with a few hours of anything as long as I get to be with the woman I love." Van said as he kissed the side of her head. Billie just looked at Van and smiled. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too. She wanted to show him, but the last time she'd loved a man, she'd been deeply hurt, emotionally and physically. She just couldn't chance that happening again. "I hope you can do more than just a few hours for me." She finally flirted. "Yes sir." Van said as he lowered his head to plant a soft kiss on her lips. Billie kissed back as she rested her hand on his cheek. Yeah, she loved him; no doubt about that, but she could never say so. Van slowly pulled away. He realized something was very odd about her reaction. He'd told her he loved her, yet she'd not said it back. Why was that? He was tempted to ask her about it right now ,but decided it would be better if they were alone, seeing as how she had a propensity to blurt out horrible things in her past that made her the way she was. Instead he ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio wine. When the bottle arrived at the table, the waiter poured up two glasses and left the pair alone. "To us and a wonderful beginning." Van toasted. "To us." Billie agreed. They clinked glasses and took a sip. They spent the next half hour engaging in idle chit chat. "And then we both swung at the same time and knocked each other to the floor!" Van recounted his first meeting with Deaq after Dre's murder. Billie laughed at this. "Okay, but that still doesn't explain the pool." She giggled, taking another sip of the wine. "Well, after we got up he attacked me and I was just defending myself, and apparently the window was open. And he threw me over the rail." Van finished with a smile. "Uhuh. I'm sure if I asked him about this, he'd say you attacked him and threw him over the rail, right?" She quipped. "Kind of like the time you two lied to me about getting pulled over by the cops and then handcuffing them to get to the meeting with the pimp in time?" She called him out with a smile. "Hey! We did get into a fight!" Van laughed in his own defense. "Yeah, after the case was done! You knocked each other out! " She retorted. "Hey, I knocked him out, but was dizzy from his punch so I laid down, and I must've fallen asleep….or something." Van tried to defend himself against his girlfriend. "Uhuh. Sure, Van. That's why I had to smack you both the next morning to wake you up, right?" She said with a snicker. "Okay, okay, you win!" Van laughing waving his white napkin in surrender. "Good." Billie smiled and leaned in for another kiss. This kiss wasn't as soft and sweet as the last one had been. No, Van could tell she wanted something in this kiss. But, who was he to tell a beautiful woman no? Hell, who was he to tell any woman no? This kiss continued for what seemed like an all to short amount of time.

Suddenly there was a rude break into Van's senses that made him aware of other things besides Billie. "Van Ray? Is that you?" Came a familiar voice. Van pulled away from Billie and looked at the woman and her date standing in front of the table. "Cherisse! Hi, what are you doing here?" Van blurted out nervously, feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner. "The same as you. I'm on a date, silly." She laughed. "Oh, where are my manners. Van, this is Robert. Robert, this is Van and….I'm so sorry, I don't believe I caught your name." Cherisse said to the woman sitting quietly by Van's side, totally enjoying that deer caught in the headlights look on his face. "Billie Chambers." She said and shook the slightly taller woman's hand and then Robert's. "Well, Billie it's nice to…" Cherisse started. "Wait, did you say Chambers? That's funny, Deaq's boss is named Chambers as well." She said with a smile on her face knowing Van REALLY didn't want that to come out in the open. "Yeah, Deaq works for me. And Van is his partner." Billie filled in for Robert, who hadn't been able to find the humor in this situation that the two women did. "Okay, yes, I'm dating my boss. There is no rule against that. Happy?" Van directed the last question at Billie. Deaq's sister saw this as the perfect opening and chimed in. "No, Van, there is no rule against dating your boss as long as she's a stunning woman. However, I thought YOU had a rule about not wearing a tie? You know, kind of like Deaq's rule about black men don't surf." She said, barely able to hold back the laugh that threatened to erupt. Billie on the other hand, didn't even try not to laugh. She realized this was a variation on Van's worst nightmare and it was too funny to just let slide. "Okay, yes, I can see the irony in this situation for you two jackals, but please don't tell Deaq about the tie! You can tell him you saw me, who with, doing what and where, but PLEASE don't mention the tie!" Van begged. This made Cherisse, Billie and Robert all crack up. "Oh come on Donnie, why wouldn't she mention the tie?" Billie cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh stop it!" Van protested as he removed her arms from his neck in annoyance. Billie always knew how to get his goat, but she'd out done herself this time. "I didn't realize it was statewide pick on Van day!" He whined as he sulked against the back of the booth. "Okay, we'll leave you two alone now." Cherisse giggled as she took Roberts hand and went back to their table. "Nice to meet you two." Robert said before he followed his date. "Can we leave now?" Van snapped as soon as the other couple was gone. "You are such a big baby!" Billie giggled as she gathered her purse. "Let's go home." She said as Van paid the bill, and the pair left the bar.

In the parking lot, the two climbed into the silver Covini they had confiscated on a recent bust. It wasn't Van's favorite car, but Deaq had jerked him over and borrowed the yellow GTO for the weekend. They screeched out of the parking lot and Van hadn't said a word. "Oh come on, Van, it WAS funny!" Billie jested, a hint of laughter tainting her voice. "No it wasn't! Did you have to call me that in front of people, Wilhelmina!" Van yelled. "Don't…call…me…that!" She hissed as she looked at him for the first time since they'd begun driving. A slow smile crept on Van's face. He knew that'd get her. She hated being called by her given name. Understandably so, too. Her grandfather had given her that name and she blamed him for starting her whole childhood nightmare. Not to mention it was hideous. Van thought with a smirk. "What's so funny?" Billie shot coldly. "Oh something just struck me." Van said. "And what was that?" Billie snapped. "Who the hell names their daughter Wilhelmina?" Van said using his hand to muffle his laugh. "Yeah well something has struck me too." Billie said as she grabbed Van's balls and yanked…HARD! Van let out a shriek that was so shrill Billie lost her ability to hear for a good thirty seconds. It was as if she'd actually yanked his manhood OFF! Van yanked the steering wheel of the car to the right sharply, pulling over on the shoulder of the road. "What the hell is wrong with you! That is VERY fragile territory Billie!" Van roared. "So is name calling you insufferable jackass!" She yelled back. "Well at least that isn't as sacred as telling someone I love you! When I say that to someone, I expect it to be said back!" Van hollered his anger reaching the boiling point. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Billie yelled back, and then it hit her. She suddenly got very quiet and sank back in her seat, staring straight ahead. "Well, is there something you'd like to say to me now?" Van said harshly, thinking he'd struck a chord with her. He had indeed struck a chord, just not the one he was thinking. "Um, yeah. I guess I'm just not as free flowing with my affection as you are!" She screamed as the tears began to flow. Van hadn't even noticed she was crying now, as he continued. "Hey! I don't tell every woman I date that I love her and I don't make love to just anyone!" He yelled. Billie sniffled and struggled to regain composure. "Sure you don't Van." She snorted. It was then that Van looked at her and noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Hey. Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." Van said apologetically as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to hug her. "Don't touch me!" She yelled as she pushed him away. "Hey, what's the matter? What are you thinking about?" Van prodded gently. He knew when Billie wanted to be left alone it was because of something she had going on in her head. "It's…nothing. I don't want to talk about it." She sobbed. "Billie, let me help you, please. I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong." Van pleaded. "I don't want your help! I just want to be left the hell alone!" She yelled. "Take me home!" Billie demanded. She needed to be alone. "What?" Van questioned in shock. She was going through hell again, but now she wanted him to leave her alone. She didn't need his help. "Take me home Van. Please." She repeated in barely a whisper. "Okay." Van conceded and drove back to her apartment in silence.

When they got back, she allowed Van to walk her to the door. He unlocked the door and followed her in. "Thanks." She said as she looked at the floor. "You're welcome." Van said not taking his eyes off her. "You can go now." Billie almost pleaded. "I will. As soon as I know you're tucked in and safely and asleep." Van said brushing her cheek. "Okay." Billie said as she headed for the bedroom and slipped into some old sweats. She climbed into bed and Van pulled the covers up over her shoulders. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair until he was sure she was asleep. When he was sure, he stood up, kissed her on the temple and quietly left himself out of her apartment.

Billie had felt him get up and heard the door shut, and got up. She made some noise heading for the bathroom, in case he hadn't really left. When he didn't come in her room at the noise, she knew it was safe. Billie yanked the blanket and a pillow off her bed and cowered in the corner. She laid down on the pillow and covered herself with the blanket, as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She began to wail uncontrollably. She cried herself to sleep just before dawn and stayed on the floor til the next afternoon.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8 The Fine Art of Bitch 

Monday morning rolled around entirely too slow for Billie. She was in a hurry to get back to work after the fight on Saturday and just forget the whole thing. She stomped into The Candy Store at a little after 8 in the morning, already pissed off and looking for fresh blood. "Hi Billie." Van called from the lounge. "You in a better mood today?" He asked tentatively. "Eat shit and die, trash!" She snapped at him for no particular reason. "Damn, what did you have for breakfast? A bite me omelet with a side of bitch?" Van stupidly shot back. "Yeah. And I brought you a can of whoop ass!" She yelled. "Hey! I'm not the one with the mental issues so don't take your shit out on me, bitch!" Van yelled after her as he followed her into her office. "Van, don't make me get hostile!" Billie yelled as she turned around with a letter opener in her hand, and pointed at him.

Just then Deaq walked in and saw Van held at knife point. "Geez Van, did you dump her already?" Deaq joked as he approached the scene in Billie's office. "No I didn't dump her!" Van snapped, wanting to beat the sneer off his face. "What then? Have you guys been screwing around longer than I thought and she's pregnant?" Deaq said with a laugh. "Deaq, don't make me kill you!" Billie yelled as she threw the letter opener at him like a dagger. "Calling you psycho would be an insult to psychos everywhere. What the hell is wrong with you Billie? Are you pregnant? Or just hormonal?" Deaq said in shock. Hearing this, Van snickered. "Go fuck yourself !" Billie yelled. "What the hell are you laughing at limp dick?" She shot in Van's direction. "Limp dick! How the hell would you know that? You never sampled the merchandise, remember?" Van quipped. "There's a reason for that moron!" Billie said back as she walked out of her office and towards the coffee pot.

I woke up in a dream today To the cold static/and put my cold feet on the floor 

_Forgot all about yesterday _

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore 

As she poured her coffee, Billie thought about what was happening to her. It had been almost 9 years since her relationship with Caleb. Nine years since her life was forever changed. She couldn't believe that after all this time, he still had such a strong hold on her. She had tried to make him happy, do what he wanted but it didn't work. And now she was reading the announcement in the paper that he was getting with someone else, what he'd told her he never wanted. It turned out he just didn't want it with her.

_A little taste of hypocrisy_

_And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/ slow to react_

_Even though you're so close to me_

_You're still so distant/And I can't bring you back_

Maybe if she'd played her cards differently, or been older…, oh who was she kidding; none of that would have made a difference. The only way any of that would have made a difference is if she hadn't been her. It wasn't her age that bothered him, although he'd been nearly 15 years older than her, it was just that she was who she was that bothered him. _"Too much excess baggage I guess."_ Billie thought and headed back to her desk.

_It's true/the way I feel_

_Was promised by your face_

_The sound of your voice_

_Painted on my memories_

_Even if you're not with me_

For the next three hours she sat at her desk and tried to work. She didn't get much done though. Her thoughts kept returning to Caleb and what had happened in that clinic in Modesto. Just the thought of that terrible day brought tears to her eyes. Billie closed her eyes in a futile effort to keep the tears from flowing. She slowly felt them run down her cheeks. This was it, the dam had burst and she couldn't repair it. Suddenly she felt a pair of eyes on her. She opened her eyes to be met by Van's concerned gaze. "You okay Billie?" He asked already knowing she wasn't. "Umm, yeah. I'm fine." She lied. As soon as she said it, she knew Van didn't believe her. "No you're not. You're crying." Van said gently as he walked over to her and knelt beside her chair. "So what? You've never seen a girl cry before? We do it all the time." She said matter of factly. "No. Not you. You don't cry…ever." Came his response. Billie just looked at him. "I've only seen you cry one time when it didn't involve me." Van finished. "When?" she questioned. For the life of her, Billie couldn't think of a single time. "When Alexa was killed." Van added softly. "Oh." Was all she said.

_I'm with you_

_You/now I see/keeping everything inside_

_You/now I see even when I close my eyes._

Billie had forgotten that Van was there. All she remembered was collapsing into Deaq's arms after she'd killed Jackson. "I still think about her." Billie admitted after a moment of silence. "I know. She was your best friend." Van empathized. "I'd be torn up if that ever happened to Deaq….or you." He finished quietly. "Oh stop it before I hurl!" She laughed at him. "The next time I go see a good chick flick I'll take you with me, seeing as how you're so sentimental and in touch with your emotions." She scoffed. Van just stared at her in shock. "What?" he said, his voice rising two octaves. At Van's response there was a hearty chuckle from the doorway. Van and Billie looked to see Deaq standing there. He had been lucky enough to hear the last part of the conversation and was now laughing at Van's reaction. Van just flicked him off.

_I hit you and you hit me back_

_We fall to the floor/the rest of the day stands still_

_Fine line between this and that_

_I pretend the past isn't real_

"Van you should be flattered." Deaq said controlling his laughter. "Not that many guys are so in touch with their feminine side." Deaq said starting to burst again. This time he got a giggle out of Billie as well. "Well I'd much rather be in touch with her feminine side than mine!" Van spat out. "She's making you wear tie to get a drink. If anything touching her feminine side started that in the first place!" Deaq laughed. It took a second to realize what he said, but when she did, Billie almost fell out of her chair laughing. Van just shot her a murderous look. "Well it's nice to see you in a better mood so quick. What are you bipolar?" Van shot back. "No, I'm a woman. I'm hormonal." She retorted. "Or just nuts." Van whispered under his breath. However it was loud enough for her to hear. "Nuts? You think I'm just nuts you little prick!" She yelled as she stood in front of Van. "That's it; I'm outta here!" She said as she grabbed her purse and pushed past Van, almost knocking him down and walked out to her car.

_Now I'm trapped in this memory_

_And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/slow to react_

_Even though you're close to me_

_You're still so distant and I can't bring you back_

Billie drove around aimlessly for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only maybe twenty minutes. As she drove she cried. It wasn't fair. Now Caleb was going to have a baby with his new wife. However when she got pregnant he told her to get rid of it or there would be no wedding. Well, she'd done as he said. And it had haunted her ever since. She had gotten rid of the baby and there was still no wedding. Two days after the termination he'd walked out on her. She was twenty. He'd left her, sick, depressed and alone. Since then her life had been different. She had been different. No longer was she the carefree, fun loving person she was back then. Now she was closed off, cynical of other's motives, mistrusting and, unaffectionate. If the truth were to be told, she was like that because it was the best way to keep people away from her. She couldn't stand it if she got hurt again, or if someone was hurt by what she couldn't do. Everyone else could have a baby, why not her? Oh she knew why. The abortion had caused damage and it was pretty certain that she'd not carry the baby to term. No, it was better for everyone if she just kept her distance from people, at least emotionally.

_No_

_No matter how far we've come_

_I can't wait to see tomorrow_

_No_

_No matter how far we've come_

_I can't wait to see tomorrow_

Van hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "She's not answering. It's been two hours and she's still not answering." Van said to Deaq. "Van, we'll find her. It's not like this is the first time she's just up and left." Deaq tried to reassure him, remembering the Gavin West case. "I know. But this is different. I don't think I've ever seen her so upset without any explanation." Van said as he sat on the red velvet couch. "What if something's wrong?" He continued. "She'll be fine." Deaq tried to reassure his partner. "How can you know that? What if something is really wrong?" Van said, almost pleading for an answer.

_I'm with you_

_You/now I see/keeping everything inside_

_You/now I see even when I close my eyes._

Billie sat on the hood of the car. She'd driven onto some obscure back road in the outskirts of Los Angeles. No one would know where she was; hell she didn't even know where she was. In front of her was a railroad track. In back of her was what seemed like miles of dirt road. Before she knew it, the tears started to flow again. After nine years, it still hurt. As she looked around, she realized this area was just like the one the clinic had been in. That April morning was dreary and unseasonably cold. Just like this present October afternoon. As she sat on the hood of the car, the events of that day came rushing back to her. She'd been scared. Caleb had gone with her, but refused to be in the room and hold her hand. Oh how she wished someone had been there for her. The procedure itself had taken only 10 minutes or so and the entire appointment maybe three hours. When she was ready to leave, she went into the waiting room but Caleb wasn't there. With a feeling of defeat she walked outside. When she looked up, she could see a limo pulling in the driveway. The driver got out and opened the door for her, he explained that Caleb had to go in to the office and told him to be sure she got home safe. On the day she was aborting a pregnancy he'd helped her create, he'd abandoned her. Billie hopped off the hood of her car and began to walk aimlessly. She walked down the middle of the tracks and cried. About fifty feet down, the flimsy grip she'd managed to have on reality for the past nine years slipped away and she collapsed in tears.

Van drove down the back road like a mad man trying to outrun the cops after a bank heist. "Whoa, slow down V!" Deaq protested as the yellow gremlin they were driving flew over yet another pothole, sending his head bouncing around like a bobble head doll. "Slow down? You want me to slow down? Your boss…your friend might be in trouble and you want me to slow down to protect your precious vertebrae? I think Billie is a little more important than you neck right now!" Van rambled on as he gunned the engine yet again. "Well when we're in the hospital because you broke my neck driving like a frigging lunatic, then you can tell me how unimportant my neck is! Calm down! If you're all amped, then you won't be able to calm her down when we find her!" Deaq shot back. As soon as Deaq said this Van slammed on the brakes. "I didn't mean to calm down THAT much, Van!" Deaq yelled as he lurched forward in his seat as much as the seat belt would allow. "No! It's her car! Look!" Van yelled, his voice betraying all the apprehension he felt on what they would find. Hurriedly, Van jumped out of the car and ran to Billie's silver Mercedes that was parked in front of them. He and Deaq got to the window and looked in. She wasn't there, and nothing looked out of place. It was as if Billie had just stopped there and vanished. "She's not here. She's not here!" Van yelled getting panicked.

A/N: Yes, I know, it's a cliffhanger. Don't worry I will update again soon! Crazy time of year around this house so thanks for being patient with me!

DKM: I hope this answers the question of what Billie is hiding now. Thanks for the reviews! I love reading them!

Everyone that is just reading: Thanks for the interest. I would really love to hear what you all have to say about the story so far! Your comments could very well influence how things play out!


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9 Someday 

Disclaimer: See, chapter 1.

Van walked up to the tracks and looked around. He was at a loss for what to do or where to go. As he looked to his left, he saw something on the tracks. The closer he got, he realized it was Billie. When she didn't move for a second, he panicked. "Oh god!" He yelled. "What?" Deaq shouted as he came up beside his almost frantic partner and looked in the direction of Van's shocked gaze. Then he saw her. "Oh no." He muttered under his breath in shock. He knew she'd been depressed in the past, but didn't think she would ever go this far. "We better call Parish." He said. Just then she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. Deaq started to walk over to her when Van put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. "Let me." He said and stepped ahead of his friend. "You sure?" Deaq asked really wanting to stay and help her. "Yeah, you go back to the Candy Store and call Captain Parish. I'll call you if she needs anything." He stated. Deaq just hesitated and stared at Van. He was torn. He wanted to help his friend but he knew her boss needed to know something was seriously wrong with Billie. "Go on. We'll be fine." Van said as he turned to walk towards her.

How the hell'd we wind up like this 

_And why weren't we able_

_To see the signs that we missed_

_And try to turn the tables_

_I wish you'd unclench your fists_

_And unpack your suitcase_

_Lately there's been too much of this_

_But don't think it's too late_

He approached slowly as if she were an injured animal. As he got closer he slowed down so he wouldn't spook her when he spoke. "Billie?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?" At the sound of his voice she looked up with a start, her back to him. At his second question, she let out a soft laugh. "Am I okay? I'm great. Just fucking great!" She said until she was yelling and looked at the shocked expression on his face. "I'm sitting on a railroad track! What do you think?" She shot back. "Billie, just calm down and talk to me." Van pleaded as he got down to her level. Just as he said those words, he could see her blood start to boil. She hated to be told to do anything, but really hated it when she was told to calm down. "Calm down? You want me to calm down! I can't calm down Van!" She screamed tears running down her cheeks.

Nothing's wrong 

_Just as long as you know that someday I will_

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_You're the only one that knows when_

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

Van just sat there in shock. He didn't know what to do to help. Sure, he'd seen Billie in a bad state before, but nothing like this. "Billie, let me help you. I love you and I want to help you through whatever you're going through, but you have to tell me what it is first." Billie stared at him through the tears that clouded her vision as she started to yell again. "You can't help me! No one can. I'm the one that killed her because he said so and no one can make that better!" She sobbed as she broke down even more. "Who is she? Who did you kill? Who told you to kill her?" Van's questions came in rapid fire succession as he wrapped his arms around Billie and slowly moved to the side of the track without loosening his grip of the fragile woman sobbing into his chest.

Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway 

_That we could end up saying_

_Things we always needed to say_

_So we could end up staying_

_Now the story's played out like this_

_Just like a paperback novel_

_Let's rewrite an ending that fits_

_Instead of a Hollywood horror_

Billie continued to lean against Van's chest and cry as she made a futile effort to regain her composure. She knew she had to tell him, and that he would probably leave her once he found out how weak she was when it came to wanting to be loved. Van continued to stroke her back and kiss the top of her head as he patiently waited for her to speak. "When I was twenty, I got pregnant and my fiancé told me to have an abortion or there would be no wedding, so I did." She blurted out on one breath. Now she just waited for Van to shove her away from him. The shove never came. Instead he wrapped his arms around her even tighter and whispered to her. "Shhh. It's over now. It'll be okay, I'm right here."

_Nothing's wrong_

_Just as long as you know that someday I will_

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_You're the only one who knows that_

_Someday somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_You're the only one who knows that_

Suddenly she was silent. She didn't talk, cry or move. It was just; peaceful. Slowly, Billie sat up as the realization of what he hadn't done touched her. She looked at him in stunned silence. "Didn't you hear what I said? I had an abortion so some guy would marry me." She said sternly. "I know." He said quietly. "That's it? You're not gonna reject me? You're not gonna tell me what a horrible person I am to have done that to an innocent baby?" She said in getting angry. She wanted someone to punish her for this, that way she could stop punishing herself. "No." Van said calmly, the empathy in his voice present. "Why not?" She replied in shock. "Because I love you." Van said a tear falling from his eye.

_How the hell'd we wind up like this_

_And why weren't we able_

_To see the signs that we missed _

_Try to turn the tables_

_Now the story's played out like this_

_Just like a paperback novel_

_Let's rewrite an ending that fits_

_Instead of a Hollywood horror_

Billie looked at him and suddenly understood. He loved her for her, not because of what she looked like or what she could do for him. Slowly she brought her hand to his face and wiped away the tear with her thumb. "I love you Van." She said choking back tears of her own. Van smiled and more tears flowed down his cheeks as he took her face in his hands and brought her in for a slow, gentle kiss. The kiss held no expectations, only love and tenderness. At this moment Billie felt safe. She was loved by this man and she knew it. It was an epiphany for her. Not every man she was with wanted to hurt her. Slowly she broke the kiss and locked into Van's loving gaze. "Let's go home." She said. He stood up and pulled her off the ground with him. "Yes sir." He said as he led her to the car.

_Nothing's wrong_

_Just as long as you know that someday I will_

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_You're the only one who knows that_

_Someday, somehow _

_I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_You're the only one who knows that_

_I know your wondering when_

_You're the only one who knows that_

_I know your wondering when_

The drive back to Billie's apartment was done in quiet anticipation. They both knew what was going to happen, it was inevitable. Every so often Van would look over from the road and catch her staring at him. "What?" he said with a smile in his voice. "I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you." She said taking his hand. Van raised her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. Soon, but not soon enough, they were walking through the doorway of her apartment. As soon as the door was shut behind them, Van grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on to the couch with him. Their lips met in a hungry, searing kiss full of need and passion. Van let his fingers play along her back as she filtered her fingers through his hair. After a couple minutes the two broke away breathless and flushed. "You ready for this?" Van asked. He didn't want to rush or scare her. "Yeah. I'm ready." Billie said. In that one statement she had answered more than just his immediate question. In one swift movement, lifted her in his arms and was off the couch. They met again in a slow gentle kiss this time. Slowly, Van made his way to the bedroom and closed the door. Things were going to be okay after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch. 10 You did WHAT!

A/N See Ch. 1

The alarm clock chirped at 6:30 that morning bringing the occupants of the bed to life. Billie reached over and slammed the clock off. Van just looked. "Whoa, are you always that mean to inanimate objects or is this a first?" He joked. "Keep it up and you'll see." She jokingly growled. Van rolled her over to face him. "Good morning." He said as he placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Good morning." She muttered back as she snuggled against his bare chest and pulled the quilt up just a little higher. Van snuggled down with her and just held her, playing with her hair for a few minutes. "We really need to get ready or we'll be late. And you know Deaq will bug the hell out of us until we tell him what happened." Van said, trying to convince himself more than her that it was time to get up. "Can't I just claim a mental health day? You can stay too. After yesterday, I really shouldn't be alone." She was flirting now, tickling her fingers along his chest. "But what about Deaq? He'll be curious." Van said, trying desperately to concentrate on what he was saying instead of where her hand was wandering. "Shoot him. Curiosity killed the cat after all." She said as she leaned in for a deep kiss.

Three hours later the pair still lay in the bed heaving, trying to catch their breath. "Wow. That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?" Van panted running his fingers through her sweat slicked hair. "It's a talent." She grinned rolling off him and on her back. "I'll say!" Van agreed with a laugh. He looked over to his right to look at her when he caught a glimpse of the alarm clock. "Oh shit!" He said as he shot up in the bed, yanking his arm from under her shoulders. "What?" Billie replied dazed as she sat up. "It's 9:30! We're so late." Van stated as he jumped out of her bed and picked up a pair of black jeans to put on. It was a good thing he always kept extra clothes in his car. "Great. We're gonna get the third degree now." Billie muttered as she jumped up and headed to the shower.

Deaq sat in Billie's office and looked at his watch again. It was 10:00 and neither of them was in the office yet. "This can't be good." He muttered to himself. Just as he was contemplating what could have happened at the tracks after Van shooed him off yesterday, he heard the door open and a set of heels quickly heading in his direction. He looked to see that it was Billie dressed in a red tube top, black cashmere sweater, low rise jeans and black ankle boots. Right behind her was Van. He was dressed in his trade mark way-too-tight black jeans and a blue plaid button down shirt with long sleeves. They had both gotten ready in haste. He could tell. Billie's hair was still damp and put in a haphazard ponytail. Van hadn't even bothered to do more than finger comb his hair. He wasn't even shaved. "Well, I see no one got hit by a train yesterday. Or did you?" He said, the smile ever present on his face. "Har har." Billie mocked. "Why are you in my office? Go do something!" She barked. Deaq headed out of her office, knowing he'd get every tawdry, x-rated detail out of Van if he had to torture him for it. However he didn't think that'd be the case. Van had wanted to get it on with Billie since he first met her. Van headed up towards the theater seats so he could stare down at her and remember last night in peace. No sooner had he sat down than he saw Deaq walking up next to him. "So, what happened?" Deaq asked anticipating the story to come. "I slept with her!" Van said the smile on his face so big it looked like it had been painted on. Deaq was just taking his seat when Van made the revelation. The words hit him so hard, that he missed the seat all together and his ass landed firmly on the floor in front of it, eliciting a hearty laugh from Van. "What are you guys doing up there?" Billie yelled as she made her way from her desk to the fridge in the back. It was high time for her to have a Red Bull. "Nothing dear!" Van hollered back in a purposely patronizing tone. Billie just glared and kept walking. This only served to make Deaq laugh as he got up and sat his butt on his original target. "So, how was it?" He prodded Van for more lurid details. "She's good. She's REAL good!" Van said remembering every detail. "Oh really?" Deaq wanted more detail than that. "Yeah, she's kind of kinky. Who knew that acrobatics could be so much fun! She's double jointed too!" Van exclaimed. Deaq just looked shocked. "What!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "Billie? Billie Chambers! Our boss Billie!" He stammered. "Yeah, did I mention the handcuffs?" Van finished. At this precise moment Billie walked back across the warehouse. Deaq's gaze transfixed on her, his jaw dropped. She stopped and looked up at them for a moment. "What? Don't look at me like that! It's not like no one's ever done it before." She said and shot Van a teasing look.

Deaq quickly headed down to his boss's office. "Hey Billie, I know you are considered our superior at work, but according to ADD boy up there, you're superior in more than one area. Care to share your secret?" Deaq questioned, not bothering to hide the innuendo in his voice. "Deaq, shut up!" She snapped, not entirely serious. "Ooh, is that what you told him last night?" He laughed as Van came in to join the fun. "See what you've started Van? I didn't want to just out and tell him everything." She quipped. "I know. You wanted to just shoot him if he got nosey!" Van laughed as he waited for the words to sink into Deaq's thick skull. "Hey!" Deaq yelled in an offended tone. "Deaq, we still love you. It's just that, well, what you don't know won't hurt you." She said in her usual flippant manner. Van snickered at her response knowing full well where it was going. "Yeah, need to know basis. I remember, Billie." Deaq muttered. "For once she's not saying that to me!" Van laughed.

Well, that's it. I know its short and not much happened. Patient my loyal readers, more will happen!

DKM: I hope this answered the question about Deaq. Yup, the shocking revelations were made! I don't know about you, but I could just see his eyes bugging out of his head and landing on the floor so clearly! Next chapter, its Billie's turn!

The rest of you that are reading: Thanks for reading! Please review if you have anything AT ALL to say. I'm not easily offended; I promise!


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11 Surprise!

A/N: Not my show. Not my characters. I don't make any money off this.

"Billie, wake up sweetheart." Van sang, trying to rouse her. She'd been asleep far long enough. In response, she pulled the covers over her head and curled up in a ball on her side. "Pay attention to me, dammit!" he whined, knowing that would get her attention. She quickly rolled over and glared at him. "Oh my god! What do you want?" She complained. "Happy birthday." He said sitting on the edge of the bed as he pulled a pink morning glory from behind his back. "Aw, thank you! It's beautiful!" She exclaimed sitting up and wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug. "You're welcome." He said, kissing her on the temple. "Okay, now let me go back to sleep." She said laying back down. "It's 12:30! Lunchtime!" Van gasped in shock. "What's your point?" Billie snidely replied. "My point, smart ass, is that I'm up, why aren't you?" Van jokingly shot back. "Because I'm tired. Someone wouldn't leave me alone last night, remember?" She guilt tripped. Van caught on quickly to what she was doing, but decided to not play into her hand. "Well I don't remember you telling me to leave you alone." Was his answer. "Leave me alone." She giggled as she got out of bed.

"Oh, you're real cute." Van quipped as he took her hand and led her into the dining room where the table was set and lunch was waiting for her. "Wow, the table looks nice." She said when she saw it. "Hey, I didn't want to break any dishes." He said in his defense when he heard the hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Thank you." She said and kissed his cheek. "What's for lunch?" She asked sitting down. "Mexican casserole, Caesar salad and surprise dessert." He answered. Van went and grabbed the casserole and salad to bring to the table. When Billie saw it, she laughed. "So, you didn't want to burn the apartment down either?" she said noting that the casserole had been made in the microwave and the salad was from a bag. "I made the dressing from scratch. Besides, I thought it was the thought that counts." He pouted sitting down and putting some food on her plate. "Well, yeah. If it doesn't kill me." She giggled and took a bite of the casserole. Surprisingly, it was good. "Hey!" Van snorted and crossed his arms over his chest in a pouting gesture. "By your own admission, you don't cook anything but eggs. Remember?" She reminded him remembering the conversation they'd had the first time she met Ray Ray. "Anyway, it's good." She decided to end with a compliment in hope he would forgive her so she could get lucky after lunch. At this, Van smiled and began to put some food on his own paper plate. He'd gotten the prettiest ones he could find. He'd run across a set of pink plates with a yellow flower design in the middle and decided to go with them. Next he'd had to get the napkins. Plain white wouldn't do, so he settled on light pink ones with a rainbow confetti design and the words "Happy birthday" scrawled across the center. Next came the plastic wine shaped glasses and the clear plastic forks. A fuchsia paper table cloth and a vase of yellow flowers completed the table. "This table certainly says metrosexual in a BIG way." Billie said with a smile. "Is that a good thing?" Van said. After the comment about the food not killing her, he figured she'd deserved it for him to fish a compliment out of her. "You'll see." She said mysteriously. "I just can't win with you can I?" He joked as he opened the bottle of chardonnay and poured them both a glass. "Like I said, You'll see." She was laughing now. Messing with his head like this was more fun now, than ever before.

"You ready for dessert?" Van asked as he stood to take his and her empty plates into the kitchen. "Yeah. What is it?" She asked handing him her plate. "You'll see." Van said with a wink. Damn, he'd used her own game against her. "I'll have to get even with you later." She commented with a wry smile tugging at her lips. With that, he scurried off to the kitchen. "Hey Van?" He heard her call, not ten seconds later. She'd found it. "Yeah?" He innocently asked taking the cake out of the box. "What's this?" She asked picking up the envelope. "Open it." Van said watching her from the kitchen. She did as he said and began reading the enclosed piece of paper. "What did you do?" She said with a smile. "I had the astrological society name a star after you." He said as he approached her with the cake and sat it in front of her. When she looked up from the paper to the cake, he heard a gasp. It was a beautiful cake. Chocolate with a dark chocolate butter crème icing on the outside. To finish it, there had been three yellow roses piped on in butter crème at the top and a ribbon of dark chocolate around the edge of the cake. In the center there were two lit candles. One was a number 2 and the other was a 9. On the cake in beautiful light green script was written the phrase, "Happy Birthday, Baby." Slowly Billie brought her hands up to her face, she was crying now. She'd never been so happy in her life. "It's beautiful." She whispered. Van just smiled down at her. He'd wanted to make this birthday special for her, and it looked like he was successful. "Well, make a wish and blow out the candles. " He said. She did as was tradition. Her wish was that she and Van would always be together and be this happy.

Billie stood up, still crying and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. She was happy, he could tell. "I'm glad you like it." He whispered as he stroked her hair and kissed the side of her head a couple times. After a minute he sat down and pulled her on his lap with him. Billie sat there, with one hand on his chest, the other arm draped around his neck and her head resting on his shoulder. She was truly content for the first time; probably ever. Or at least since her mom had died. With her still on his lap, Van unwrapped his arms from around her waist and picked up a plate and the cake cutter. He cut a slice big enough for them to share. He made sure to get a rose and some of the chocolaty border on it. He gathered up a forkful and took a bite. "Mm, that's good!" He commented. "Hey! I'm supposed to get the first piece!" She whined. She was almost better at whining than him, Van inwardly thought, but said, "Here, have a bite." He chopped of a piece and picked it up to feed to her. She took a bite and he made sure to take care enough to get a big glob of icing on her nose. "Hey!" She giggled. Slowly he kissed it off. "Better?" He asked, drawing away and placing an icing kiss on her lips. "Mmhmm." She said using her finger to wipe some excess icing of her lip and deposit it on his nose. Just as he'd done before, she kissed that off his nose. Their lips met in an intense kiss full of love, passion and tongue. Definitely lots of tongue. Van's hands slowly began to roam up her shirt. Just before they reached their intended target, the phone began to peal. "Dammit." They both said in unison as she pulled away and got up to answer it.

"Hello?" Billie said as she grabbed the ringing nuisance to shut it up and chew out the person who'd interrupted the beginning of her birthday sex marathon. She'd intended on going for three innings and was pissed that someone had interrupted the first of, hopefully, many innings. "Happy birthday Billie!" Came several voices over the phone. She could clearly pick out two of them: Bob Parish and Deaqon Hayes. "Hi Bob, Deaq." She replied a little more cheerfully. "We just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and tell you we're thinking of you." Bob said. "It was Deaq's idea to call on a conference. We couldn't find Van to get him to call in too. Have you heard from him today?" Her boss asked. "Yeah, I've…….heard from Van." She managed to get out without the shock of being caught off guard being present in her voice. "So it was Deaq's idea to call me?" She repeated, looking at Van who was desperately trying to stifle a laugh. After all, he'd known Van would be there. Probably his way of making sure they didn't get too dirty this early in the day. "Thanks Deaq." She muttered. "Well, we should probably let you get back to whatever the hell it is you do when you aren't working." Deaq commented the amusement in his voice bubbling over. "Good idea." She laughed. "See you tomorrow, Billie. Bye." Deaq said "Bye guys." She ended the conversation and hung up the phone. She leaned against the wall and looked at Van. "You okay, babe? You don't look so good." Van questioned, getting up when he noticed she'd turned a pasty whitish green color. "Yeah I'm…..oh god." She said and ran to the bathroom, making it just in time to deposit the contents of her stomach in the toilet.

"Oh yuck!" Van said as he stood behind her, holding her hair with one hand and rubbing her shoulder with the other. "You didn't eat THAT much, did you?" He said seeing what had just made a return trip from her digestive tract. Billie just stood up and glared at him through her reflection in the mirror. "The salad dressing did it." She commented dryly as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. "This is not my fault!" Van exclaimed. "Sure it is!" Billie chirped. Picking on Van was so much fun sometimes. Especially now since she had a responsibility to make it up to him afterwards. "And why would that be?" Van shot back. "Because I said so." She sweetly replied. "I could just strangle you sometimes." He growled. "Hey. That's a little too kinky…even for me." She chastised playfully. "Speaking of kinky…" Van said and spun her around to place a kiss on her lips and quickly began where he'd left off minutes earlier.

An hour later, Van and Billie were in the tub. The bubbles came up to about her shoulders, since she was leaning back against Van's chest. "A bubble bath, how girlie." Van snorted. "I know, I'm a girl. But, if you don't like it, I guess I don't have to act like one." She chided. That would get him and she knew it. "I know you're a girl. That's what I like about you." Van grumbled, knowing that was the end of that. All this year, he'd never known Billie was so feminine. Sure, she wore the typical girlie stuff: tight shirts and jeans; entirely too short skirts and revealing dresses. But she also did karate and kick boxing. Not to mention she liked cars, Steve McQueen and carried a gun. Yup, all that pretty much took her out of his understanding of the "girl realm". At his prolonged silence, Billie giggled. "You are such a typical guy. You don't know what the true function of a bra is or how a thong is to be worn, but you can take both of them off with one hand!" She teasingly commented. "Hey, not many guys can do that!" He argued. "All the ones I've been with can." Came her retort. "ALL of them?" He questioned to get a number out of her. "I'm not a nun Van." Was all she said. "Yeah? Prove it." He teased as he splashed a little water in her face. "Oh, you're gonna get it now." She said as she rolled around so that she was laying against his chest. "Oh I am?" Van said, but she cut him off with a gentle teasing kiss. "Van, shut up." She whispered as she pulled away. "Yes sir." He said. Sir was something he originally called her to bug her, but lately it had become his pet name for her. Van gazed into her clear blue eyes for a moment before capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. As they kissed, his hand roamed up her back and landed right below her shoulder blade; his thumb playing up and down the side of her firm breast. The touch of his hand sent a shiver up her spine, prompting her to let out a soft moan.

As the pair came down from their orgasms, Billie's legs, unwrapped from around his waist and she slid back in the now chilling water. Van lowered himself down in the water beside her. His arm draped over her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. The pair laid there, trying desperately to catch their breath as they came back to earth. As her breathing normalized, Van whispered sweet nothings into Billie's ear. Suddenly, he heard her breath hitch and she sat up. "Sweetie? You okay?" Van asked as she scrambled to get out of the tub and did so just in time to make a deposit in the porcelain bank. Billie spent the next three minutes dry heaving, puking and coughing into the toilet. When she was done, Van slowly gathered her off the floor and carried her to the bed. He put her down then climbed in with her. "Um, Van?" She nervously asked. "Yeah?" he calmly replied, even though he was ready to grab a pan for her to vomit in if she needed to again. "Today is October 21st, right?" She quizzically asked, as if she had not clue of the date. "Yeah. That's your birthday, right?" Van quipped. "Very funny." She snorted. "Seriously. I haven't had a period since late August." She quietly finished, waiting for him to react in horror. "So?" Van said, knowing what she was getting at, but hoping he was wrong at the same time. "What if I'm getting so sick and always so tired because I'm pregnant?" She asked as she looked up into his shining green eyes. "Then we'll deal with that as it happens. I'll get a test for you so we can know for sure." He calmly replied, hoping to relax her enough so she could get some much needed rest. "Alright." Billie sighed as he snuggled against his chest and closed her eyes. "I love you." She mumbled as she drifted off. "I love you too." Was the last thing she heard from Van before she was far off into dreamland.

Van waited a good hour until he was positive she was sound asleep and he could step out without waking her up. He wanted to get the pregnancy test before she woke back up, so that she could take it, then stop worrying when it came back negative; or so he hoped it would. Van made the ten minute drive to the corner drug store in three minutes flat. The way he drove, you'd think Billie was in the car with him about to give birth. That thought alone gave Van the creeps as he headed into the store, so he visibly shook it out of his mind as the store clerk greeted him. "Hello sir. Can I help you find anything today?" The clerk asked him. She was a young girl, maybe 17 years old, and that was being generous. "Um, yeah. I need a pregnancy test for my girlfriend." He answered, suddenly nervous and realizing he had no idea what else she needed beyond that. "Okay, do you want digital or not?" She questioned. "Um, what's the difference?" he asked not even bothering to hide the fact that this was the first time he'd ever knocked someone up. _"Leave it to me that the first time this happens, it's my boss."_ He thought. "The digital is easier to read and can be used sooner after her missed period." The young blond replied. Van tried to pretend he didn't notice then hint of humor in her voice as she realized he hadn't ever done this before. "What if I don't quite know her last period was?" Van questioned, feeling like the whole store was staring at him and wanting to hide in a hole and die. "Then you'll want the digital twin pack." The girl replied unable to keep the amusement out of her voice. "That way she can test twice to be sure, if the first one is positive." The girl commented as she grabbed a twin pack digital pregnancy test off the shelf and carried it to the counter. Van pretended that he hadn't heard her insinuation that if the test was positive Billie would go in shock. He also pretended not to notice that the girl was calling him an incompetent oaf that couldn't take care of his girlfriend and a baby if he needed to. "Is that all?" She asked as she rang up the tests. "Um, I'll take one of these, and this…oh, and that." He said as he also handed the girl a Dove chocolate bar, two diet colas, and a Cosmo magazine to take home to Billie. He paid the bill, grabbed his bag of goodies and quickly headed out the door to his car.

Ten minutes later, Van slowly opened the door to what he now called his and Billie's apartment. He went into the bedroom, where he found Billie just starting to wake up. He took the candy and soda out of the bag and handed them to her. "Here, I thought you might like those. And this." He said as she took the items from him, with a smile and then he pulled out the magazine. "That's my favorite magazine." she commented as she read the cover. "I also got this." Van commented, taking the pregnancy tests out of the bag and handing them to her. "Oh." Was all she said. "Why don't you go take one while I set up the telescope outside so we can look at your star?" Van said. Billie silently agreed. Van got up to set up the telescope and she got up to find out if she was pregnant.

Fifteen minutes later, Van was outside setting up the telescope on the balcony when he heard her scream. "Billie?" he called as he walked into the apartment and headed towards the bathroom to see what the problem was. As he entered the bathroom, he saw her sitting on the toilet. She was sobbing, he could tell. "What's wrong?" He asked as he walked next to her. "My life is over!" She wailed. "I'll never be able to sleep again!" She continued to sob. "What?" Van asked, confused, when followed her gaze to the vanity. By the sink, sat two sticks. Both had been used and both had the same word written on them. In a digital print, both tests had the word "pregnant" in the test result window. Van rested his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. "Honey, you're life isn't over. We're gonna have a baby." Van said, hoping it would calm her down if he sounded excited about it. "You don't understand!" She wailed just as upset as when he first entered the bathroom. "I can't have a baby! They said so!" She cried as she clung to Van's waist and cried into his blue shirt. "Sweetie, what are you talking about?" Van whispered in a soothing voice as he stroked her hair to calm her down. Billie realized that she needed to tell him. When she started to speak, Van didn't expect to hear her say what she did. "When I had the abortion nine years ago, there were complications." She began. "The procedure caused an infection and damaged my cervix. I can't carry a baby beyond the 23rd week." She said. "How do you know that?" Van asked. "I mean, wouldn't you have had to have gotten pregnant again and had a couple miscarriages to know that?" Van asked his voice thick with concern and sympathy for what Billie may tell him she's gone through. "Damn." She muttered. It was time to 'fess up; there was no way around it now. "I've had two miscarriages since the abortion." She confessed. After the last one, I was told Id never have a baby of my own. She said sadly. "Who were the fathers? " Van asked. "Father." She corrected. "Whatever. Who is he?" Van said mildly irritated that Billie was playing semantics to avoid telling him the truth. "Gavin West." She said as she looked at her feet so she didn't have to see the shock on his face when she said the name. Van's jaw dropped in shock. Had she just said what he thought she said? When Billie didn't look up at him after a minute of silence, Van knew she had. "When? Did he know?" Van asked. "The first time was in Mexico, while I did undercover narcotics work. The second time was about eight months after I got out of rehab. No he never knew." She said sadly. Billie fully expected Van to reject her now; maybe even tell her boss. He didn't though. "I'm so sorry you went through that." Was all he said as he gathered her up and headed to the balcony to see her star.

"See, there it is." Van said as he showed her the star he'd had named after her. "It's beautiful!" She gasped. "Not as beautiful as you are. Or as our baby will be." He said as he stroked her hair. "You mean you want this baby?" she asked. "Yeah. Do you?" he asked. "Well, yeah. I've always loved kids and have wanted of my own since as far back as I could remember." Was her answer. "Okay, then we'll have to find out what we can do to keep you pregnant with this baby as long as you need to be." Was all he said. Billie was ready to cry. Even after what she'd told him about her real relationship with Gavin West, he still wanted to be with her and raise their baby as a family. Billie smiled at him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Well mommy; if you're gonna have my baby, then you better get some sleep." He said as he led her inside. She knew there would be explanations to be made and questions to be answered. However, that could all wait til tomorrow. Tonight was the time to revel in her happiness about being in love with the most wonderful man on earth and think ahead to the birth of her first child.

Okay, there is the next installment! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, holidays kind of snuck up on me. Oh well, maybe I'll get a few more chapters up by Christmas!

DKM: Glad you liked the last chapter! And this is where kinky has gotten her. What a kick in her ass, huh?

Unsigned: You guys rock! I hope you all will review one day! I love reviews!


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 12 The Shit Hits the Fans 

It had been a whole month since Billie had discovered she was pregnant. Two weeks after she'd taken that test; she and Van went to her first doctors appointment. It had been scheduled for the middle of the day, so it had taken some planning for both of them to get there without having to tell Deaq what was going on. It worked out though. Van had left work to run some errands for her and she had told him the basic truth that she had an appointment. It wasn't actually a lie, she rationalized, she'd just omitted some pertinent information. It's not like this was the first time she had ever done that.

When Billie pulled into the parking lot, fifteen minutes before her appointment time, Van was leaning against his car waiting for her. Billie quickly hopped out of her silver Mercedes and gave him a quick kiss before they headed inside. Billie headed to the desk to sign in, while Van took a seat near the exit. It was just like every doctor's office he'd ever been in. There were wooden chairs with burgundy padding lining the walls, blue carpet on the floors and, forest green and burgundy striped wallpaper on the walls. Just as he was taking in his surroundings, Billie took a seat next to him. "It's gonna be a few minutes." She said as she started to fill out the endless stack of papers the receptionist had given her. Van just groaned and made himself comfortable. It seemed like waiting was a large part of pregnancy, so he figured he should get used to it now. As he sat in the chair, he looked around him. There was nothing to read. No Car and Driver, FHM or even Field and Stream. All he saw were pregnancy and baby magazines on the table in front of him. Suddenly he noticed something. All the women in the room were pregnant and he was the only man. As if on cue, Billie spoke to him. "You're not getting executed you know." She said, noticing the expression on his face. Van glared at her. "I'm the only man here and there are nothing but pregnancy magazines to read." He shot back. "I know. We're in an obstetricians office. They deal with pregnancy; it's their specialty." She shot back.

Just then a very pregnant woman took a seat next to Billie. "Hi. I'm Donna." She said with a smile. "I'm Billie." Billie politely replied with a smile of her own. "First visit?" The woman asked, noting the stack of papers Billie was 2/3 of the way through already and the fact that she wasn't sporting a belly at all. "First visit, first baby." Billie replied looking back at her paperwork. "And that is?" Donna gestured to the man sitting next to Billie. "Oh, that's Van." Billie looked at him. "Say hi." She said when he tried to pretend he hadn't noticed that Billie was having a conversation with someone. "Hi." Van said sheepishly. He must have been mistaken when Billie said they were going to an appointment since this seemed more like happy hour, at least for her. "You two married?" Donna asked already knowing the answer since neither of them was wearing a wedding band. "No." Billie said with a polite smile. "Are you planning on getting married?" The other woman persisted. Billie looked at Van, who looked as if he was wishing for the floor to open up and swallow him. "Honey, why don't you answer that?" Billie chirped the smile on her face giving away that she enjoyed putting him on the spot. They'd had that discussion earlier in the week and she wasn't all to happy with Van's "I just want to be sure we're doing it for the right reasons" speech when they'd discussed if they should marry or not.

Before Van could argue with her, she got up and walked to the window, leaving him to answer Donna's question. "Well, um, we haven't really decided yet." Van said, wondering why it was this woman's business anyway. _"Must be some secret pregnant sisterhood or something"_ he thought. "You haven't decided? Why not?" Donna asked. She new by his answer, and the fact that Billie had left him to answer this question, that he didn't have a satisfactory reason for why not. "I just want to make sure that if we get married it's for the right reasons." He finally blurted out. "She's good enough for you to sleep with and to have your baby, but you don't know if she's good enough to marry?" Donna read into his words. Van's eyes dropped down to the floor as he twiddled his thumbs as he tried to think of a good answer. Just then, the door opened and Billie's name was called. Van quickly got up and headed over where Billie was. "Bye Van!" Donna called in a perky voice, causing Billie to snicker and Van to grumble a goodbye as the walked through the doorway.

The pair sat in an examining room as they waited for the doctor to come in. Billie was sitting on the table and Van was next to her in a chair. They were silent until Van spoke. "That wasn't funny." He said out of no where. "What wasn't funny?" She asked, feigning innocence. "You know what I'm talking about!" He shot back. It always irritated him to no end when she played like she didn't do anything. "Oh, that." Billie smiled. "The way I figure it, if you can feed me that line of crap, you can do it to someone else." She finished. Before Van could reply, the doctor came in. He shot Billie a murderous look to let her know they weren't done yet.

The look didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Vickie Robins. "Am I interrupting something?" The tall, thin woman asked. "No, not at all." Billie replied as she shot Van one of her, 'you're gonna get it' looks. _"Oh no, not another one of these couples."_ Dr. Robins thought, as she took a stethoscope from around her neck. She examined Billie and drew a few vials of blood. "Okay, well you seem to be doing okay. I would like to do an ultrasound to see how far along you actually are and determine a due date." She said as she led them to the ultrasound room. Van was strangely excited. This was the first glimpse of his child and he couldn't wait to see it. Billie on the other hand was nervous, she looked as if she might puke right then. Noticing this, Van took her hand and kissed it as the doctor began the scan. Dr. Robins couldn't help but smile at this. She'd seen too many couples lately where at least one of the parents didn't want to be there. "There's the baby." She pointed out a blob on the screen in the shape of a kidney bean. "Wow." Van said as a smile plastered itself on his face. Billie just stared at the screen as a couple tears slid down her cheek. It was actually real. She new then that she had to do everything possible to keep this baby in until she was ready to come out. Billie had decided from the moment she got pregnant that she was going to have a girl. "Well, according to this, you are 12 weeks pregnant; which puts your due date at May 10th. The scan was finished and Dr. Robins took the pair up to the front desk. "Since you are so high risk, Billie, I want to monitor you closely. We'll see you in one month and you are to avoid all strenuous activity…including sex." Van's face went slack at this direction. "Okay." Was all Billie said. She wasn't crazy about the idea either, but it was for the well being of her child, so she would do it. "And you work in law enforcement, right?" the doctor continued. "Yeah, I'm a cop." She replied. "Okay, well no bang-bang shoot 'em up cops and robbers kind of stuff." She instructed. "Great, I'll just be a pencil pusher for the next six months." Billie muttered as an image of Roland Hill and his smug smile flashed in her mind. "Billie, I'm serious. It's for your own good." Dr. Robins sternly reprimanded her. "Fine. I'll behave." She groaned. "Billie." The salt and pepper haired woman continued, not believing that her new patient wouldn't try to cheat. "I'll be good. I promise. Okay?" she finally conceded. "Good. See you in a month." The doctor said and walked away to see the next patient.

As they walked out to their cars, Van's resolve gave way and he finally burst. "Oh my god! She has you pegged already!" He laughed as Billie whacked his arm…hard. "You know this means that you're gonna have to pick up some of my slack around the office." She said to shut him up. That only gave Van more ammunition than he already had. "I already do that anyway." He snickered. "And you'll have to tell Deaq what you did to me." She snidely commented, opening her car door. "That's right, Billie. You weren't a willing participant in this at all." Van said as he rolled his eyes at her the same way she did to him when he said something stupid. Billie just looked at him and got in her car. "See you at work." She said and drove off.

Twenty minutes later, Van was sitting in the parking lot of the Candy Store when Billie finally pulled up. She'd taken her time getting back while Van had to hurry so that Deaq wouldn't bust his errand alibi to shreds. "It's about time you got here!" Van hollered at her through her window. "Where the hell did you go?" He said as she finally got out of the car and he saw the drink cup in her hand. "I was hungry." Was all she said. "Well, so am I, but you don't see a Jack in the Box cup in my hand do you?" he retorted. "No, but you're not pregnant. You don't absolutely have to eat three meals a day." She shot back and began to walk towards the doorway. "Three meals a day! Hell Billie you always seem to be eating something lately and then puking it up!" Van yelled as they entered the showroom. "You want me to kill you, don't you Van!" She yelled back as she wheeled to face him. "Whoa, mood swing!" Van hollered back. "Mood swing! You call this a mood swing? This is not a mood swing!" She shouted. "What the hell is it then!" Van yelled. "This is called you didn't wear a condom and now you won't take care of your responsibility and get married!" She yelled back at him. "Hey! I plan on taking care of you through this, but I don't think we need to get married for that to happen!" Van defended himself. "See? You're a commitment phobic!" Billie yelled back.

What neither Billie nor Van had noticed was that Deaq was sitting on the red couch, listening to the whole ugly argument. _"Mood swing. Ha!"_ Deaq thought as he got up and prepared to make his presence known. Before he could say anything though, Billie called Van a commitment phobic. "Children! Please!" Deaq said as he burst in a fit of laughter under their shocked stares. He could almost read their thoughts. They went something like, _"Oh shit. I wonder how much he heard."_ "So," he began. "What does Van not wearing a condom have to do with you two getting married, or not?" He asked to show them just how much he'd heard. The whole 'oh shit' look on their faces told him all he needed to know. Van was getting ready to say what was going on, when they heard Billie's name being called. Van looked at her as she turned an awful shade of white at the sight of the person. They turned around and saw Captain Parish walking into the showroom. "Oh shit. You're screwed." Van said. "I'm screwed! Where the hell do you think you're going?" She hissed loudly. "I'm gonna go talk to my partner while you talk to your boss! Come on Deaq." Van answered and made quick exit to the basketball half court with Deaq while Billie walked into her office followed by Captain Parish. "Bob, you know how I've been so tired lately?" Billie asked. He just looked at her and played dumb. "I know Van and Deaq have talked to you. They think I'm working too hard and not taking care of myself." She said to let him know she knew what they, well primarily Deaq, had done. "Well they're right, in a way. I need to scale back." Billie said her words halting. "See, the thing is, I've been seeing someone for a few months and things have gotten serious." Billie continued to explain, hoping she could get the rest of this out without saying whom she'd been seeing; at least not right now. However, as she was getting ready to say the rest of her story, it happened. "You knocked up your boss!" She heard Deaq holler in shock. Her eyes grew wide with shock as her boss gave her the once over. "So this guy you're seeing is tweedle dumb over there?" He said motioning to Van, who looked on in shock. "Yes sir." Billie said quietly, her gaze cast downward. "And you need to scale back because you're pregnant." He said. It wasn't a question, but a statement. Billie nodded her head and felt a lump form in her throat. She felt like a teenager telling her father that she had ruined her life. "Yeah. The doctor said I have to take it easy because of my past history with pregnancies." She said, praying that he wouldn't ask her to explain what she meant. Bob could see she was ready to cry, so, as much as her last statement confused him and raised questions, he decided to let it go. "How far along are you?" He asked. He felt like he was talking to one of his own daughters, and it broke his heart. All he wanted to do was hug her and tell her it would all be okay, but he couldn't. "I'm twelve weeks. Due May 10th." She said. "Okay, well, you scale back as much as you need too. Take off when you need to and we can talk about maternity leave when you're ready." Bob said in an understanding tone. This killed Billie. She wanted him to yell, scream, fire her, anything but be nice. "Okay, thanks." She said her eyes meeting his. She saw the pain in his and he in hers. Captain Parish turned to walk out of her office. When he reached the bottom step, he stopped and looked at her. "I expected more out of you Billie." Was all he said and continued walking. Billie collapsed in her chair and started to cry. As her boss walked out, he stopped in front of Van, who was looking from the imposing man to his girlfriend crying in her office. "You're gonna marry her." The captain stated and walked out of the building.

Deaq looked at Van and snickered. "Man, he's not even interested in what you want. He's telling you what you want!" He snickered. "Shut up!" Van seethed as they headed towards Billie's office, where she was still a bit upset, but not crying as hard. "Don't worry Billie. Van is gonna marry you. Captain Parish said he had to if he wants to live." Deaq chirped as he gave her a small hug. This served to make Billie turn off the tears and put on a smile. "It's like a faucet for you, isn't it?" Van quipped noticing how quickly she'd stopped the water works. Billie just stuck her tongue out at him and gave a smug smile. Van leaned down and kissed her on her head. "Well, now that you're feeling better, I'm gonna talk with Deaq. You should get some rest and when I'm done, we'll go pick up some dinner and go home." He said. Billie just rolled her eyes. "Van, I'm fine." She argued. "Hey, no arguing! You heard the doctor, you need to take it easy so you don't miscarry this baby like the other two!" Van lectured her. Billie just rolled her eyes again and groaned. Van fixed her with a stern look and she got up, begrudgingly and headed up to the lounge.

"Okay, now that she's out of earshot I need to talk to you." Van began as he took a seat in on of the black chairs and motioned for Deaq to sit in the other. "I'll say you do!" Deaq exclaimed as he took a seat and prepared to badger Van into telling him what the hell all that with Billie was about. It was then that what had been said in that exchange with Billie hit him. Deaq had heard it all. Every ugly, incriminating word of it. "Oh shit." He muttered. "What?" Deaq asked. "I can explain all that. I really can." Van stammered, hoping Deaq would accept that as an answer. It didn't work. "Oh really? Well, I can't wait to hear it!" Deaq sneered as he made himself comfy for the lame excuse sure to follow. "She's been pregnant twice before." Van said, conveniently leaving out the abortion. In the past few months, he'd learned that that wasn't something Billie was proud of so he decided that it wasn't very need-to-know. "I already figured out this wasn't a first. What do you have to do with the other two?" Deaq said sharply. "Those are the fault of Gavin West, not me!" Van blurted out. "What!" Deaq yelled in shock. "I don't really have the energy to explain that right now. So lets just shelve it." Van said. With that, that part of the conversation was over. "Now I want to tell you something." Van said. "What?" Came Deaq's slow reply. He couldn't have something worse to tell him, could he? "I'm gonna ask her to marry me." Van said. "That's great!" his friend exclaimed as a smile lit up his face. "When?" He continued. "I don't know." Was the answer. "Do it on like Thanksgiving or something. She'll be shocked and it will add to the whole 'things to be thankful for' theme of the day." Deaq offered. Just then, they heard Billie. "Van are you done yet? I want to go home!" She whined from her spot leaning against the banister. Since she'd gotten pregnant, whining seemed to come much easier to her than ever before. "Yes dear." Van muttered and got up to take her home. As they left, Van shot Deaq a look and mouthed the words 'thank you' as they walked out to the car.

That night, the pair got Taco Bell for dinner. They drove home, with Billie dozing on the way, she was obviously more tired than she'd let on. The rest of the night was spent eating dinner and Billie dozing in front of the TV as Van rubbed her shoulders til she was sound asleep. Then and only then, did he pick her up and carry into the bedroom that had changed from hers to theirs. He tucked her in and snuggled up beside her. Van drifted off with thoughts of making this a permanent arrangement in his head.

Okay, that's it for this chapter! Please r/r! I live for it!

DKM: Haha! I remember that rhyme! It does fit in that chapter doesn't it? I hope this update answers your question about what Parish and Deaq will say. I guess you'll just have to stick around to see what Hill will say; if anything. ;)

Unsigned: I see you all are still reading! Thanks! The more people that read and review, the more motivation I get to keep writing!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 The Perfect Proposal 

A/N The show isn't mine. You already know that. I'm just having fun with it.

It had been a whirlwind month for Billie and Van. The pair had officially moved in together, much to Deaq's chagrin. Now what was he supposed to do in his off time? In the "good old days" he used to go to Van's hotel suite and hang out with his partner, drinking and watching the playboy channel. Well that was no more. Now that there was technically a lady in the house, they couldn't shamelessly get loaded and watch porn to amuse themselves. Sure they could do it at Deaq's place, but not as often as they used to. Van was settling down with Billie and it was only a matter of time til his bachelor lifestyle came to a screeching halt. _"Van and Billie are gonna have a baby and be a family. Who the hell would have guessed that when they first met?" _ Deaq snickered to himself. As if that wasn't enough change in everyone's life already, Billie's waistline was starting to change as well. She was now 4.5 months pregnant and you could tell. Begrudgingly, she had become more of a paper pusher than she usually was and began to prepare for the baby's arrival. It was Christmas Eve and Van and Billie had invited Deaq, Captain Parish and his wife, Ruby over for dinner. Those two had spent Thanksgiving with them while Deaq had spent the holiday with his family for the first time in about a decade. The last time he'd been around a thanksgiving spread with them, was the November before Dre had shipped his ass across the country.

Deaq pulled into the complex parking lot and made his way to their unit. He knocked on the door. Within less than a minute, Billie yanked the door open. Deaq had dressed for the occasion that he, but not she, knew was going to take place. He wore a classy cable knit, black turtle neck with a moss green and black pin strip suit. In his hand, he held a bottle of sparkling cider. He stepped in the one bedroom apartment and gave her a hug as he handed her the bottle. "Merry Christmas gorgeous! You look beautiful." He cheered. Billie looked at him and smiled. "You're so full of it." She retorted. She certainly didn't feel beautiful lately. "In the eye of the beholder, I guess. Right Van?" Deaq called to his partner in the kitchen. "I think so! I keep telling her she's more beautiful everyday, but she doesn't believe me!" Van answered with a smile from his spot behind the counter. Billie smiled as she walked back to join him. She did look great, weather she knew it or not. This day she wore, a pair of faded stretch jeans, a white cotton sweater and a teal cardigan wrap sweater. The finishing touch on her outfit was her hair. She'd curled the ends of it and had half of it pulled back and swept off her neck, secured with a gold clip. Van, dressed in a similar colored button down cotton shirt with long sleeves and a pair of black jeans, leaned down and placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose, as his hands moved to her belly. "I love you." He said as she giggled. "And I love you too." Van said as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the growing swell of her stomach. Deaq looked on and mocked a woman's voice "Oh that's so sweet!" he said as Billie shot him a look. It was then that it happened. Van's head jerked back with a start. He straightened and looked at Billie with surprise in his eyes. "Was that?" he started to ask. "Yeah, it was." Billie replied as a smile appeared on her face. "Was what that?" Deaq asked his voice a mix of curiosity and concern at Van's reaction to whatever it was. Billie didn't seem concerned, so Deaq wasn't too alarmed. Van turned to him, with tears in his eyes and smiled. "The baby. It kicked."

Half an hour later after Captain Parish and his wife, Ruby had arrived, the group sat down at the table for their meal. Billie had made a rack of lamb with mint jelly, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with garlic, a broccoli and cranberry salad and Ruby brought her homemade yeast rolls. "Billie the table is beautiful" commented Ruby. "Thank you. Actually Van is the one that set the table." She replied. "Well Van, I am impressed!" Exclaimed Captain Parish. "Did you learn to do it while watching E?" Deaq snidely asked, causing Billie to choke on her drink and alternately laugh and cough at the same time. Van shot her a murderous look and then turned that same glare on Deaq. "No, I read how to do it in one of her stupid magazines." Van said pointing to Billie as she desperately tried to stop laughing. The whole table erupted in laughter at this. "Welcome to the rest of your life Van." Captain Parish commented. This only served to make Billie bust all over again.

A few minutes later, the group had calmed down and Van stopped pouting. "Billie you sure you can handle a baby and a large two year old?" Mrs. Parish asked, referring to Van's pouting. "As long as one of them sleeps through the night, I'm sure I'll be able to manage." Billie joked. "Hey!" Van snorted eliciting a snicker from Deaq. "Speaking of sleep, are you still as tired as you were in the first trimester?" Ruby asked. She and Bob had three kids, two girls and one boy, so she knew the trials of pregnancy well. "No, I actually have energy again." Billie said, taking a bite of the lamb. "I'm just not allowed to do much with that energy." Billie complained. "It could be worse. Look at the bright side sweetie. At least you're not puking and don't have sore boobs anymore. Now all you have to look forward to in the immediate future is a belly the size of a beach ball and back aches." Ruby pointed out the good and bad of the second trimester. "Then in your final eight weeks or so, you'll have to deal with more back aches, peeing a lot…again, insomnia, leg cramps, nausea and, constipation and leaking boobs." Ruby finished. Van, Deaq and Captain Parish just sat there in stunned silence. This wasn't any of their ideas of dinner conversation. No, not by a long shot. "Then when labor gets closer you'll have more braxton hicks and eventually you'll lose your mucus plug." Ruby finished. "What the hell is a mucus plug?" Deaq heard himself involuntarily ask. "It's like a big plug of snot in the cervix." Billie said. And with that, Van dropped his fork. "Oh yuck! Billie, I'm trying to eat here!" Van exclaimed as he pushed the mint jelly around the plate with his fork. "Well that was WAY more than I needed to know!" Deaq exclaimed as Billie and Ruby laughed. "I'm full. And I don't feel well." Was all Bob said and pushed his plate away.

Ten minutes later the men were standing in the living room, talking. "So Van, how you gonna give her the ring?" Deaq asked. "After the dinner conversation, I don't think I want to." Van snidely commented as he sipped his brandy. "Sure you do." Bob replied. "And why does he want that?" Deaq snickered. "Because he loves her and that baby with all his heart. He wants to be here for every first in her pregnancy and that child's life." He finished. Suddenly it hit Van. He needed to be with Billie. He loved the fact that he wanted her face to be the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night. He loved that he had the privilege of watching her body change everyday as the child they created out of love for each other, grew bigger and stronger. He looked over Deaq's shoulder to the woman in the kitchen. She was leaning against the counter holding the plates as Ruby got the tray of coffee and the cake ready. They were talking and laughing. Billie moved her hand to rest on her stomach. It was then that Van knew that he had to marry her. He took the ring box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal and antique looking ring. It was a 2.5 carat, heart shaped solitaire diamond on a platinum band. "Wow." Was all the two men said, as Van took the ring out of the box and placed it on a branch of the Christmas tree.

Just as he finished, Billie and Ruby walked in with two trays. On one tray there were five plates, forks, spoons and coffee cups. On the other, carried by Billie, were the coffee carafe, and a double Dutch chocolate cake. The women sat the trays down on the coffee table and took their seats. Billie sat on the couch next to Deaq, and Ruby sat on a chair next to her husband. Van continued to stand by the Christmas tree. "What are you doing over there?" Billie asked quizzically. "There's a present for you on the tree. If you can find it, you can have it now. If not, you wait til tomorrow." Van answered with a sly smile. Billie got up and walked over to the tree with a smile. "Well it's not a sweater" she said dryly. "Deaq, where did he put it?" Billie asked and waited for an answer with a not-so-innocent smile. "On the tree." Deaq said, getting a laugh from everyone else. "Thanks a lot smart ass." Billie grumbled playfully as she threw a napkin ball at his head. She went back to looking. After about five minutes, she froze in a spot in front of the tree, her eyes popped and her mouth dropped as a gasp escaped her lips. "I think she found it." Van said, the amusement present in his voice as he approached her and took the ring off the tree. Slowly he got down on one knee as he held the ring in one hand and took her left hand in the other.

"Billie, I love you. The last six months have been the best time of my life, all because of you. I love the fact that your face is the first thing I want to see when I wake up and the last thing I want to see at night. I love how after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume. I love how your nose crinkles up when you look at me like I'm crazy. I love your laugh. I love everything about you and I can't imagine spending one more day of my life without you in it. Billie, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Van said, the tears streaming down his face as much as they were hers. Billie felt the tears flowing, seeing him cry only made her cry harder. She brought her sleeve up to her face as a sob escaped her. This was all like a dream come true. She'd imagined her dream proposal since she was a little girl, but this far exceeded anything she could have ever come up with. Slowly she nodded her head and squeaked out the word "yes". Van slid the ring on her finger and jumped up, wrapping her in a tight hug as they both burst into tears again. They stayed like that for a whole minute when the applause of their guests brought them back to the here and now.

The group stood up and offered Billie and Van their congratulations. Billie hugged Bob, Deaq then Ruby. She showed Ruby the ring, taking a real good look at it for the first time herself. It was then that she noticed that it was a one of a kind. "That is beautiful!" Ruby commented. "And big." Deaq chimed in. "Van, how did you afford this? Did you knock off a jewelry store?" Billie joked. Van smiled and let out a small laugh. "No babe, I sure didn't. That was my grandmother's engagement ring and before she died she gave it to me to give to the love of my life; and I did just that." Van said. "Aw!" Billie cooed as she looked at him, lovingly. "The love of your life? I am? Really!" she said as the reality of his words hit her and the tears began to flow again. "Yeah, really." Van said wrapping her up in a big bear hug.

Two hours later, Van and Billie stood in the doorway saying the goodbyes to their guests. Once everyone had left, Van closed and locked the door. He lazily leaned against the door and pulled Billie into a hug. Billie wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest. Van kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Well, we survived." "We sure did didn't we?" She purred as she placed a soft kiss on his neck. "Mmhmm." Was all he said as he captured her lips in a kiss. It started out soft and sweet even, but quickly escalated into something more intense. Before she knew it, Van had backed Billie up from the door was now stretched out next to her on the sofa. They continued to kiss, Van's mouth ran from her lips and lingered on her neck as his hand played under her shirt tracing a line up from the snap of her pants. Much to Billie's surprise, Van's hand suddenly slipped under her bra and made contact with her left breast. She allowed a moan of pleasure to escape her lips. It was then that she realized what was happening. "Van, wait. We can't. Stop." She said regaining her bearings. 'What's wrong?" Van said, looking down at her, as his hand fell to her stomach. "Oh, yeah. Guess I got wrapped up in the moment." He explained. "Yeah, me too." She agreed and sat up to straighten out her top. Van sat up and began to rub her shoulders. "Hey, this won't last forever." He said kissing her on the shoulder. "I know, but it still sucks!" She said leaning back against his shoulder and pouting. "I agree. But it's for the baby, right?" Van said sleepily as he rested his head on top of hers. "Yeah, for the baby. I hope she appreciates this." Billie replied. "I'm sure he does." Van mumbled as he drifted off. Billie laughed softly as she adjusted her position so she was resting her head on the crook of his arm and soon drifted off as well.

DKM: I figured you'd like how Van was left with Donna! I too wonder what Hill will say. The muse is being fickle and won't tell me! Damn her! Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter too! This was definitely one of the more fun ones to write.

Unsigned: Thanks for reading! I love seeing that I'm still getting hits! That must mean that you guys like my writing!


	14. Chapter 14

Ch 14 Ray Ray the Grandpa 

A/N: Fastlane isn't mine. I don't own anything but my ideas.

It was a couple days after Christmas when Deaq had to go back to work. He was the first one to arrive that cold, dreary Monday morning. As he sat on the big red couch with a cup of coffee and the television remote, he heard the door open. "Hey lovebirds, how was Christmas?" Deaq cheered as Billie walked in followed by Van. Van just shot Deaq a dirty look and followed Billie into her office. Billie on the other hand, muttered something that Deaq couldn't make out all of. The only words he heard her say were sex and damn kid. It took a second to figure out what she was saying, but when he did, he couldn't stifle the laugh that followed. "Shut the hell up!" Van barked as Billie walked up to him and bitch slapped Deaq upside the head. "Owe! You could break something doing that!" Deaq hollered at her as he put his right hand up to the back part of his head where she'd hit him. "Yeah, I could break my hand!" Billie shot back with a snicker.

Billie continued to her desk, still followed by Van and this time by Deaq as well. She took a seat and booted up her computer. "What?" She said noticing that Van and Deaq had taken a seat and were waiting for something. "We're bored. What should we do?" Van asked knowing she didn't care what they did, as long as it didn't involve her. "I don't know! Go play whack-a-cop! I don't care!" She exclaimed exasperated. When the baby was old enough to bug her about boredom, Van would definitely have to grow up, she thought. "Whack-a-cop?" Deaq questioned with a wry smile. "Yeah. It's like whack-a-mole. One of you is the whacker, the other is the whackee." She said with a smile. "And just what are we supposed to use as a mallet?" Van asked. "I don't know. I think there is a sledge hammer around here somewhere." She replied with a laugh as she glanced around the huge space. "Let's go box. Beating the crap out of you has to make me feel better." Van said to Deaq with a grin. "Good idea. That sounds less violent than what your girlfriend suggested." Deaq said. "Especially since I'll be the one doing the knocking out!" he said after a pause. "Oh really? You willing to put your money where your mouth is partner?" Van taunted. "Yeah. Forty bucks says I knock you out!" Deaq said getting prideful. "You're on. I hope you have that in tens for me." Van said cockily. The two got up and were ready to head to the basketball court when Billie spoke. "I'm putting twenty on Deaq!" She called. Van turned around and glared at her. "Cute." He snarled as she flashed him a cocky smile.

A couple minutes later, the pair were suited up in the gloves and their shirts had been tossed to the side. By this point, Billie had abandoned her work and seated herself on the hood of a silver Covini to watch. _"Damn, he's got a nice ass!" _ she thought when Van turned his back to her. The match began and after a couple minutes, both men where still conscious. Billie had begun to wonder, _"how in the world did Deaq win the bare knuckle boxing match against God, Cyrus-one's crony, if he couldn't even knock out Van?"_ Still she watched. Van did have a way of moving gracefully, like a panther. _"That shouldn't stop Deaq though. He's bigger than Van and should be able to get off at least one decent jab, and at least knock him on his ass. Sheesh. Some men are so afraid to hit each other." _ She thought. It was then that someone entered the warehouse. "Use an upper cut, Van!" The person yelled. Van glanced up at the person and froze in shock. No sooner did he freeze, than a gloved hand connected with the side of his face and knocked him on the floor. Out cold. Billie quietly snickered as she watched him fall. _"Easiest twenty bucks I ever made."_ She thought. "Hey! Ray Ray, what's up?" Deaq called to the person who entered the warehouse as he grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from his face. Billie heard the name and whipped her head around. "Oh my god." She said in a barely audible whisper. Within a couple seconds she had eased herself off the car and went over to greet him. "Hey honey! Fancy seeing you here!" She said as she wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug. "Hey yourself!" he said and held her at arms length to look her over. She looked great, but something had changed. What was it. Then it hit him, she was pregnant. "Whoa! You've certainly changed missy!" He said and blatantly looked at her growing belly. "Oh, uh, yeah. That." She said placing her hand on her stomach. Being as small as she was normally, getting pregnant hadn't been overly kind to her figure. She was showing more at this stage than she had seen with any other women she knew, albeit that wasn't very many, but still. "How far along are you?" he asked. "I'll be 5 months on Tuesday. We're due May 10th." She said automatically. "So there is a 'we' in this?" the fugitive asked, sounding intrigued. _"Oh shit!"_ Billie thought as she shot a look at Deaq who had been standing next to her. "Uh, yeah." She said slowly. "Come on, I couldn't very well do this myself could I?" She said deciding to be coy about it.

Just as she finished, Van started to wake up. He sat up and rubbed his cheek where he'd been hit, trying to figure out what had happened. "You okay?" Billie called gleefully when she saw him sit up. "I'm fine!" Van barked at her. "Good then pay up!" She taunted. "Bit…" Van started to say when he saw the reason for Deaq's TKO. Ray Ray gave him that stern "don't talk to a lady like that" look. "What the hell are you doing here!" he yelled at his dad as he stood up. "Why I just came to see my son! Surely that's not a crime is it?" his dad said nonchalantly. "After all the crimes you've committed, I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that!" Van spat back, getting up and grabbing his gun. "Come on man, don't do that!" Deaq said trying to calm his partner down. "Don't do what? Don't put a criminal in jail? Don't make the world a better place?" Van shouted as he pointed the gun at Ray Ray. "Van, I'm not here to cause trouble. I just wanted to see you." The older man said, holding his hands in the air as Van approached him, gun still aimed at his chest. "Yeah right! You've never done anything other than cause trouble why would you stop now?" Van yelled angrily as the muzzle of the gun made contact with his dad's chest. Deaq and Billie just stared on in shock. "Do something." Deaq whispered in her ear. "Like what?" She whispered back through clenched teeth. "I don't know, stop him." Deaq whispered back. Billie took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Van don't." She said calmly. Van just shifted his gaze from Ray Ray to her and then back, without saying a word. "Please. For me." She said, whipping up some tears and choking back a fake sob. Van looked at her as a couple tears slid down her cheeks. He hated to see Billie cry. Slowly he lowered the gun and stepped back. "Okay. I won't do it." He said. Still Billie persisted. She stepped closer to him and held out her hand. "Give me the gun." She said, her voice eerily calm. "What? Hell no!" Van yelled at her. "Van!" She yelled. "Give me…the gun." She said in a sob as a few more tears conveniently rolled down her cheeks. Van watched the tears as the anger in his eyes flickered out then died all together. Slowly he handed her the gun. "There. I'm sorry. Happy now" he said sarcastically. "Very! Thank you!" She chirped all signs of crying having vanished the minute she had the gun in her hand. Deaq burst at this. "My god! Is she manipulative or what!" He said to Ray Ray in between fits of laughter.

Van just glared at Billie. "You owe Deaq forty bucks." She said with a smile. "The hell I do! He had an advantage!" Van said exasperatedly. "Van, a bets a bet." Billie said pouting. "Oh no! I'm not falling for that again!" Van yelled when he saw where this was going. "Fine. I guess you're just a sore loser." She said sniffling. "Fine!" He yelled at her. "Here's your damn money!" Van said throwing two twenty dollar bills at Deaq. He picked up the money and smiled. "Thank you." He said and walked over to Billie. "Here. I think half of this is yours." He said handing her a twenty dollar bill. "Thank you Deaq!" Billie cheered, looking at Van as she folded the bill and stuck it in her bra for safe keeping. "What the hell!" Van said in a girly shriek. He quickly walked up to Billie and stuck his hand down the front of her white shirt, and grabbed the money. There was stunned silence in the room. Before Van could remove his hand and retreat with the money, Billie's right hand connected firmly, and loudly with his left cheek. He pulled his hand back, leaving the money, as if he'd been burned by a hot plate. "Donovan Ray!" his dad yelled. "It' entirely inappropriate to be fresh with your boss; especially when she's taken!" he finished. Billie and Van looked at each other. She just shrugged. "He's not my dad." She said and left it up to Van to tell him. "It's my baby." Van said quietly. "What?" Ray Ray said not sure he'd heard him right. "She's pregnant with my baby and we're getting married." Van said more confidently this time. He was an adult now, and it wasn't like he and Billie had just met and didn't know what they were doing. "You're the father of her kid?" the older man asked looking from Van to Billie and back to Van. "Yeah." Van said calmly. "Well, that's my boy!" Ray Ray exclaimed, patting his son on the back and shocking everyone who saw it. "You nailed a gorgeous woman, I'm proud!" He exclaimed. "What!" Van said in shock, as his jaw dropped and he felt his eyes try to leave their sockets. "I nailed my boss and you're proud!" Van gasped as Billie and Deaq snickered.

An hour later, the group sat in the lounge. Van had an ice pack on his face, since a bruise had started to form. "When do you kids plan on getting married?" Ray Ray asked as Billie took a seat next to a bruised Van. Van just shrugged. "I would like a Valentines Day wedding." Billie said rolling her eyes at Van. "Van, how do you plan to support a wife and baby? You know, seeing as how you need to take back half your money after a bet." Ray Ray said. "I can support my family." Van growled. "Can you support them and pay for a wedding?" His father persisted. "I hope he can. He certainly can't fight." Billie said just loud enough for Van to hear. "Yes I can! I was just distracted is all." Van tried to defend himself. "Okay, well that accounts for this bet, but what is your excuse for buying the xbox but not springing for a fancy restaurant or real table setting on my birthday?" She quipped. "Why don't you two let me pay for the wedding? You can have whatever you want, as big as you want." Ray Ray offered. He knew he wasn't loaded, but he could always manufacture more money to cover the cost depending on how big the price tag was. "Okay." Billie said. "No!" Snapped Van. "Why not?" Billie asked. "Because I can afford to marry you." Van argued. "You can afford something better than a shotgun wedding?" She quizzically asked. Van stopped. He knew she would be getting her way on this no matter what he said, so it was of no use to argue. "Fine. Dad, you can pay for the wedding." Van conceded. "Oh goodie!" Billie squealed and gave Van a kiss on the cheek.

DKM: In glad you liked the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one as well! I had to bring this situation up didn't I?

Everyone else: Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

Ch 15 This CAN'T be Happening!

A/N Not mine, don't own it. Don't get pissed.

Billie woke up that morning and was immediately excited. It was February 1st and now she and Van were only thirteen days away from getting married. However, there was another reason to get excited, today was her ultrasound. She and Van would get to see their baby today, and if Van has his way, find out what it is. She wasn't too interested to know what it is, after all half the fun is in the suspense she reasoned. _"As long as it's healthy, I'll be happy."_ She thought as she sat up. Slowly, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and raised to a standing position. As she stood up to stretch, she groaned. The bigger she'd gotten over the past couple months, the more pain she was in after being in one position for awhile. It seemed that every day she was dealing with a backache or leg cramps to some extent. This morning her back was particularly sore and she had a headache. She also took note that the bigger she got, the harder it was to move around. "_I hope this is as off kilter as I get. I can't possibly get any bigger." _She thought as she moved to the closet to see if she could find something that fit. Another annoyance, she'd had to finally trade in her sexy wardrobe for maternity wear.

Quickly she got in the shower and then headed out to get dressed. When she got back into the bedroom, she noticed the bed was empty. Van was up and in the kitchen. Quickly, Billie got dressed. She choose a black v-neck silk top and moss green corduroy pants. The black loafers finished off the outfit. Noting the time, she went back in the bathroom to do her make up and hair. Just as she turned off the blow dryer, Van came in the room. "Good morning sweetie!" he called as he made his way to the bathroom. "Hi honey!" she said as he appeared in the doorway with a coffee cup in his hand. "Brought you some coffee." He said setting the mug down next to her. "Oh, thank you!" she replied kissing him and then taking a sip of the coffee. Van stood behind her and put his hands on her ever expanding stomach. "Am I fat?" She asked, with a serious expression, seemingly out of no where. "No, you're beautiful." Van replied as he kissed her neck. "You're just saying that." She said looking at the counter. "And why would I do that?" he asked, not taking his eyes off her face. Van had learned to read her emotions off the subtle changes in her facial expressions, and was amazed at how much her eyes gave away. "Because you don't want to sleep alone." She said with a small forced smile. Van spun her around to look at him, she managed to keep her gaze downcast so, he placed his hand under her chin to make her meet his gaze. "You're beautiful inside and out. I don't just love you because of how you look. Yes, I do like how you looked seven months ago, but I love how you look now. You are carrying our child. Billie, there is nothing more beautiful in the world than that." Van said and kissed her softly. He kept his one hand on her chin while the other took a small box out of his pocket. He raised the small black velvet box to where she was looking at it. "Here, I got this for you yesterday." He said and handed it to her. "Go ahead, open it." He said when she didn't take the box right away. Billie took the box as a smile slowly crept on her face. She lifted the lid and just stared. "Oh Van. It's beautiful!" she said as tears clouded her vision. "Just like you." He said as he took the box from her and removed the necklace and put it around her neck. It was a simple gold necklace with a pendant on it. The pendant was in the shape of a baby's pacifier and had an emerald in it. "A symbol to represent our beautiful child and his beautiful mother." Van said as he kissed her. "Oh she'll love it when she's older." Billie giggled. She knew Van wanted a boy and he knew she wanted a girl.

The pair quickly finished getting ready and hopped in the 1967 forest green Chevy for the ride to the doctor. The first ten minutes of the ride were done in silence. Both Van and Billie were off in their own worlds. Van, thinking about what he would do with his son when he was older, and Billie thinking about the wedding. "So, we're finding out what it is, right?" Van suddenly said, not being able to stand the silence anymore. He knew she had stood firm that she didn't want to know, but he hoped that if he caught her off guard, she would agree. "No, we're not." She answered glaring at him. "Why not?" He said in that annoying whiney voice she hated so much. "Why should we?" Came the calm retort. "So we can prepare. You know, pick a name, and buy furniture and clothes." Van reasoned. "We can do that without knowing. We pick a boys name and a girls name. The baby will be in onesies for the most part so all we do there is not buy any over girlish or boyish patterns. And the furniture can go either way." She argues her case. "You've been thinking of that for awhile haven't you?" Van grumbled. "Well, I figure you owe me at least this much." She sweetly said. "Oh really? And just how do you figure that?" He challenged back, the irritation clearly present in his voice. "Lena Savage." Was all she said. "That? I owe it to you to do what you want, because of that!" He almost yelled. Still, Billie kept her calm as she coolly replied. "Well, this has always been my worst case scenario, back up contingency plan if you insisted on finding out." She said with a smile. Yes, it was true; Billie loved backing Van into a corner like this. Van just shot her a look. "You're never gonna let me live that down are you?" He seethed. "Nope. Besides, possession is 9/10 of the law." She replied as she studied her nails. With that, she new she'd won this argument. "Fine." He grumbled and gunned the engine just to make the ride as short a s possible.

Ten minutes later, the pair arrived at the doctors office and walked in the door. Van sat down as Billie signed in. This was only the second time he'd been here, since that oh-so-lovely first appointment. Having Billie sic another pregnant woman on him, was more than enough to make him sit everything else out. After that day, he'd told her the next time he wanted to hear from Dr. Robins was when she said, "here comes the head". Billie just laughed at this. She'd asked him how he could be afraid of a harmless pregnant woman. He just shrugged. The truth though, is that Billie already knew the answer to this question. Van was scared of her when she wasn't pregnant so now that the hormones have kicked in he's seemed down right terrified whenever she barked at him; and she did that more often now just to see him jump. Within a minute Billie took a seat next to him. She picked up an "American Baby" magazine and began to flip through it. Van on the other hand, had come prepared this time. He took a Popular Mechanics magazine from the inside of his brown tweed jacket. Billie saw this and snickered. "Wimp." She muttered. "Hush." He muttered back. Just then the door opened and in walked a familiar person. "Oh shit." Van whispered when he saw that it was Donna. Billie looked up and smiled at her new friend. "Hey Donna!" she chirped, getting up to hug the older blond. "You look great!" Billie exclaimed stepping back to take a look. "So do you! And what is that?" Donna said, looking Billie over and pointing at her left hand. "Isn't it beautiful? He asked me on Christmas Eve!" Billie beamed. "Well, congratulations!" she said to the couple as Billie led her to a seat next to them. Donna sat down and placed a carrier in front of her. "And who is this?" Billie cooed as she sat back down and took a good look at the new baby in the car seat. "This is Brandi Jean. She's six weeks old." Donna said proudly. "Oh she's so cute!" Billie said. "Thank you." Donna answered and picked up her daughter. "Would you like to hold her?" She asked taking a burp cloth and handing it to Billie. "Sure, if you really don't mind." Billie said. "No, not at all!" was the enthusiastic reply. And with that, she placed baby Brandi in Billie's arms. "Oh, hi there. You're cute!" she said to the little girl as Brandi started to cry. As an instinct, Billie stood up and placed the infant up against her shoulder and patted her back as she walked around and whispered to her. "Shhh. It's okay, sweetie." After a few seconds the little blond girl calmed down and began to nod off. "Donna, she is adorable." Billie said sitting back down. "You want to hold her now, Van?" Donna asked with a smile. She had a feeling he hadn't had lots of practice. "Well…" he said with a pause. "Oh come on, its not that hard." Billie encouraged. "Well okay." He finally conceded. Billie slowly transferred the baby from her arms to Van's. "Now hold her head steady." She instructed him. "Why can't she hold it?" Van asked not able to hide his lack of a baby IQ. "Because she's just a little baby. Her neck muscles aren't strong enough yet." "Oh. Okay. So like this?" he said holding the baby with one hand under her bottom and the other supporting her head. He wasn't holding her too close to him and his elbows were on his knees. "Well, that's not bad for a first time, but hold her closer, and use a burp cloth." Billie said. "Oh she's fine. I'm just gonna hold her a minute more." Van said and nervously held her to his chest as he patted he bottom as he'd seen on the television. Suddenly, it happened. Brandi spit up all over Van's jacket! "Nasty!" Van yelled as he handed the baby back to Donna, causing everyone in the room to laugh. "I told you to take the burp cloth." Billie laughed at him. "This isn't funny." Van said as he went to the bathroom to try and clean up as much as he could.

A couple minutes later, Van had only succeeded in making the spit up stain worse when he came out of the bathroom. He was met by Billie, "They're ready for us." She said with a smile as she saw how bad the stain was. "Shut up." He whispered in her ear as they followed the nurse to the room. A couple minutes later, Billie was up on the table and the technician was scanning her stomach. "Well, it's certainly an active baby here." The tech said as she observed the movements on the screen. "It's sucking its thumb right there, see?" She said, pointing to the image on the screen. "Oh how cute!" Billie said with a smile. "That's amazing." Van agreed, mesmerized by the image on the screen. "Do you want to know the sex?" the lady asked as she prepared to finish the scan. "Yes!" "No!" Van and Billie said in unison. "Well, I'm glad to see you've agreed on this." The woman joked as she put the wand back and cleaned off Billie's stomach. Billie shot Van a death glare that just screamed _"you owe me this"_ and he quickly conceded. "No, we want it a surprise." He said as he helped Billie sit up, a smug smile on her face.

"And a surprise it shall be!" The short woman chirped as she led Van and Billie to the examining room. "Dr. Robins will be just a moment." She said with a smile and closed the door behind her. As soon as the door closed, Billie laid down on the table. She wasn't feeling all that well. "You okay?" Van asked getting up from the seat and walking towards her so he could see her face. She looked awful pale to him. "Yeah, I just have a headache is all." She said trying to convince him she was fine. "That's all?" he questioned, still not buying that she was okay. "Yeah." She said as she took his hand and gave it a light squeeze. The world was beginning to spin and if she kept watching it, she's surely lose her breakfast, so she closed her eyes. Something was wrong, Van could tell. He was just getting ready to go out and find someone when the doctor came in. One look at Billie and she knew something wasn't right. "Billie?" she asked. No answer. "Sweetie, you okay?" She said a little louder and rubbing her shoulder to get her attention. Slowly, Billie opened her eyes. "Yeah, I just have a headache." She said sitting up. Suddenly she got very dizzy and almost passed out. "Billie!" Van said, alarmed, rushing to her side as the doctor laid her back down. "It's okay, guys." Dr. Robins said trying to reassure Van and herself. She had a feeling she knew what was going on, but to be sure, she needed to take Billie's blood pressure. She took the cuff off the wall and wrapped it around her arm. As she pumped, she listened to the pulse through her stethoscope and watched the numbers. "Hmm. Just as I thought. Her blood pressure is high. 160/54 to be exact." The woman said as she took the cuff from around Billie's arm. "What does that mean? Is it bad?" Van asked getting frantic now. "It means she has pregnancy induced hypertension, or preeclampsia. We'll need to do a urine test to see if she's got any protein in her urine. If she does, that could be bad. I'm not gonna lie to you Van. She could need to have her labor induced or an emergency cesarean if things are bad enough. She's only 28 weeks so chances are pretty good that if the baby lives it will have some major difficulties, at least at first and most likely in the long term." She finished solemnly.

"What?" Billie asked as tears sprang to her eyes. "You mean my baby could die?" She said in a sob. Quickly, Van rushed to hug her. "Shhh. It's okay. The baby is gonna be fine." He said as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. He did, just in time too as a few tears fell from his eyes. Billie felt the tears fall in her hair and it warmed her heart. Van was concerned about her and the baby. There was a time when she first found out she was pregnant that she was sure Van would leave her, seeing as how he didn't want to get married. She was overcome with a feeling that all would be okay, however that didn't last long as a strange sensation came over her. "Owe." She said as she placed her hand on her lower stomach. Van pulled back and looked at her. "You okay?" he asked. "Yeah. I think so, it was just a twinge in my stomach." She said, not wanting to worry him by saying it actually hurt. Dr. Robins accepted this, warily and handed Billie a cup for the urine sample. She took the cup and went in the bathroom. A couple minutes later, she reemerged with the cup in hand. She handed it to the nurse and went back in the room where Van was waiting. Just as she was walking to take a seat next to him, a sharp pain engulfed her whole stomach. This pain was different. It wasn't the same cramping pain she'd had before. No, this was much more intense and almost made her double over as she cried out in pain. Van freaked out and ran to her side to catch her before she hit the floor. "Okay, it's okay. Just sit right here and I'll get someone." He babbled sitting her down in the chair. He ran out of the room and got a nurse. Within a few seconds the nurse and Dr. Robins came in the room with Van. "What's the matter Billie?" The doctor asked her as the nurse talked to Van. "I don't know what happened. She came back in the room and almost collapsed." He said to them both. "Billie, you okay? What's the matter?" the nurse asked her since. "Pain. It hurts!" She said as a few tears of fright slipped past her defenses. She had a horrible feeling something was happening with the baby. "My baby? Is it okay?" she stammered the reality of what she was feeling, finally hitting her. "I think you're having contractions." Dr. Robins said and led Billie to a continuous fetal monitor to check her out. After 30 minutes of checking, she made her decision. "You've gone into labor." She said as she ordered the nurse to call an ambulance. "But, it's too early!" Billie replied frightened as she grabbed on to Van. "I know. We're gonna get you to the hospital and see if we can stop it." She said and paused. "If we can't, you need to be prepared for the worst." She finally finished. It was at that point that Billie lost it. Time just seemed to stop for her and all their was in the world was her and the thought that she could lose her baby.

Two hours later… 

"Yeah. They got the contractions stopped but she's in the hospital now, possibly until the baby is born." Van said to the person on the other end of the phone. "Man that's rough. How is she doing?" Deaq asked from his position behind Billie's desk. He'd put Van on speaker phone since Captain Parish was there with him. "She's asleep right now. It's the scariest thing I've ever been through Deaq. She was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything to help her! All I could do was hold her hand." Van said quietly as he walked back in the hospital room where Billie was still sound asleep. "How long do they think she'll be able to carry the baby?" Captain Parish asked, his voice full of concern. "She could carry him for another three months or another three days, we don't know." He replied sadly. Billie rolled over and unconsciously reached for Van. Seeing this, Van took her hand and she grabbed on to it, pulling him closer to her. "Wait a minute. Did you say "he"? As in the baby is a he?" Deaq said excitedly. "Yeah. I think it's a boy, and she says it's a girl, but she refused to let us find out." Van whined. "Well Van, if you two are lucky, it will be a few more months til you find out." Captain Parish said confidently. "I hope so sir." Van replied feeling a little better. "Well, we'll let you go now partner. Tell Billie we hope she's doing better soon and I'll come over to see you guys this evening." Deaq said getting ready to hang up. "I will. See you later. Thanks Deaq." Van said and hung up his cell, turning his attention back to Billie.

Three hours later, Van was sitting in the chair next to Billie dozing. He was still holding her hand. Slowly, she began to stir. Her eyes popped open and she saw a sleeping Van. She looked around the room and noticed she was in the hospital with an IV in her hand. _"The baby."_ She thought and frantically tugged on Van's hand to wake him. Van sat up with a jerk and looked to the right to see her laying there, the fear present in her eyes. "Hey." He said resting his palm on her cheek. "How are you?" he asked as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I…I…don't know. How am I?" She said haltingly. "You're gonna be just fine." He said in that reassuring way that always made Billie feel safe. "And the baby, is she…" She said quietly, trailing off, not sure she could handle the answer. "The baby is fine. You're both fine." He replied with a smile, kissing her on the forehead softly. It was with those words that the dam broke. Billie broke out in tears a sob escaping her lips. "Shhh. It's okay. You're fine. The baby is fine." Van said moving from the chair to lie back on the bed as he cradled her. "I was so scared! I just felt this pain and I knew…I knew something was wrong!" She sobbed. "I know. We were all scared. Even Deaq was scared when I told him." Van whispered softly, stroking her hair. "D…Deaq was scared?" She questioned looking in his eyes for the telltale sign he was lying to her. He just smiled and nodded. "But he's not afraid of anything. Kind of like you." She said quietly, snuggling closer to Van. Right now she didn't want to think of the fear of almost losing a baby, she just wanted to feel alright again. Then, it hit her. "She could have died. My baby could have died like the others did!" She began to wail again. Van felt the pain in her voice. "It's okay. She's not dead. We're not gonna let you lose this one too. Everything is gonna be fine. Soon enough you'll feel like you've been pregnant forever, and before you know it, the baby will be here and we'll be exhausted." He enthused. This seemed to work in calming her since she stopped crying and seemed content to just have him there with her.

At around seven that evening, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" Van called from his spot on the bed. The door opened and in walked Deaq. He saw Billie laying there. She looked so pale and so sick. There was an IV in her arm and she looked pretty tired. Still he moved farther into the room. "Um, you look good. Really." He said with the most fake smile she'd ever seen. "Liar. I feel and look like hell." She said with a small smile. This served to make Van smile. "See Deaq? I told you she'd be fine." He said with a smirk. "Yeah, you did." Deaq said with a laugh as he gave her a small hug. "So what are you hooked up to?" He asked looking around at the tube and monitors. "Well let's see, the big bag is just IV fluids, the other bag is Magnesium Sulfate for my blood pressure, its pretty high." She explained as matter-of-factly as she always did. "Then I get Terbutaline for my contractions if I have too many. And that machine," she said point to the monitor by her bed "monitors the baby's heartbeat and my contractions." She finished. Deaq just ran his hand through his hair in bewilderment. "Wow. That's a lot to remember." He said looking at Van. "So, is Parish filling in for Billie til she comes back to work this summer?" Van asked casually. Deaq became nervous and fidgety at the thought of telling Van who was her replacement and that he had it in for him as soon as Van got back to work. "Well, he has someone. Just not himself." Deaq said, hoping Van wouldn't ask who, but he knew better. "Who?" Van asked just as predicted. "Um, I don't remember his name, but its some guy from Internal Affairs. _"Maybe Hill transferred back and he's gonna bust their balls instead of mine, for once."_ Billie thought with a wide grin.

After another half hour of talking, Billie spoke up. "Van I'm hungry." She said pouting. He knew that meant she wasn't happy with what they'd brought her, so it was his job to go downstairs and find her something. "Okay, you want something from the cafeteria or from the plaza?" he asked getting up. "The plaza." She answered sitting up a little more. "And what do you want?" he asked. "Oh I don't know, maybe a bacon mushroom melt with fries and a chocolate shake." She said sweetly. "Sounds like she knows exactly what she wants." Deaq mused. "Yeah, she usually does." Van said. "You want anything?" He asked when he was halfway to the door. "A Coke would be great." He replied. "Okay, I'll be back." Van said and began to walk out the door. "Thanks sweetheart!" Deaq called after him, garnering a laugh from Billie. "Okay Deaq, who's in charge of you two while I'm gone?" Billie said with a smile. "Roland Hill." He answered with a shudder. "What!" she asked sharply, her eyes popping. "Well I'm glad to see I'm not the only one shocked by this." Deaq commented with a hearty laugh. "Van's gonna have a stroke when you tell him!" she said with a laugh. Yes, maybe it was a little mean for her to take light on his misfortune, but she couldn't help it, it was funny. "When I tell him? I'm not his boss!" Deaq argued unconvincingly. "Yeah, well if you would have kept him under your thumb all the time, like you're supposed to, then I wouldn't be pregnant with his baby and no one else would have had to take over for me." She joked. "Yeah, Billie. This is all my fault!" Deaq said smiling. He was glad to see she was feeling so much better.

Just then, Van came back in with all the requested items in his possession. "What's so funny?" he asked doling out the goodies. Deaq and Billie just looked at each other and smiled. "Oh nothing!" she sang as Deaq snickered. "Yeah, I don't believe you, but okay, whatever." Van said as he sat down and watched the two. Sure he'd find out eventually, and he probably would have a stroke, but they'd have to deal with that when the time came.

Okay, that's it! For those of you that pay close attention, I know I said in chapter one that Hill was fired, well I changed that to transferred. It was the only way to give Van a decent heart attack before the baby came! LOL

DKM: I'm glad you liked the addition of Ray Ray! I figured it wouldn't be a proper Van torture if Ray Ray wasn't involved somehow! "Whack-a-cop" just seemed so Billie! I couldn't help myself! Whipped cream…hmm.

Unsigned: Thanks for reading! I hope you keep up with the story! I've got some good stuff happening next chapter, provided I have time to ever finish and post it between work and the spring semester starting.


	16. Chapter 16

Ch 16 Meet Your Maker 

Four days later, Billie was released from the hospital. She had been sent home with strict instructions to stay in bed. She was told she would now be on modified bed rest for the duration of her pregnancy. _"Great. This is gonna suck." _She thought as she was being discharged. Van wheeled Billie out to the black GMC Yukon he'd borrowed that day. While she'd been in the hospital she'd gotten a number of baskets of flowers from people she had worked with. "It won't be so bad." Van said, squeezing her shoulders to cheer her up. Billie just sunk down farther into the wheelchair as she crossed her arms and pouted. "It won't be so bad." She mocked him. "Hey, I'm just trying to make you feel better." He said defensively. "You want to make me feel better? Go play in the traffic!" she snapped. Van just gave her a blank stare and scratched his head as he dumbly asked, "What did I ever do to put you in such a pissy mood?" Billie just sat her hand on her stomach and sarcastically replied, "I have no idea Van." And with that she shut the door. The twenty minute drive home, was conducted in total silence. Occasionally he would look over at Billie and see the scowl on her face.

When they got back to the apartment, Van helped Billie out of the car and led her upstairs with the flowers. She unlocked the door and stepped inside. "It's nice to be home." She said as she headed for the kitchen to make a turkey sandwich for lunch. While she was making a lunch of a turkey sandwich, potato salad, potato chips and iced tea, Van was setting up a spot for her on the couch. He had a couple pillows, a blanket, the remote, a book, some crossword puzzles, the newspaper, the stereo remote and the phone set up where she could reach it all without moving. Next, he moved to the kitchen as she took her spot on the sofa. He got a small cooler out of a cabinet and loaded it up. He put a few bottles of water, a couple sodas, some fruit, and veggies and dip in it. Next he got some potato chips, crackers, cheese, and some ginger snaps. For her to snack on til he got home. He wanted to make sure she had to get up as little as possible for her sake, as well as the baby's. He closed the lid and brought it to where she was sitting on the couch watching the E! True Hollywood Story and sat it next to her. "Here you go. That should last you til I get home in six hours." He said with a smile. Much to his surprise, Billie returned the smile. "Thank you." She said and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry I've been so pissy." She said looking up at him. "I know. You're whole life has come to a screeching halt in a matter of hours, I can't say I wouldn't be ticked too if it happened to me." Van said and leaned down, placing a small kiss on her nose. "Okay, I've got to get to work before the new guy has my ass on a platter." Van said and rushed out the door. _"If only you knew."_ Billie mused as she turned her attention back to her lunch. She hadn't had the heart to tell him that the "new guy" wanted his head on a plaque no matter what.

Van made it to the Candy Store in record time. "Sorry it took me so long. I had to get Billie set up for the afternoon." Van said as he walked over to Deaq on the couch, not even bothering to see who the new guy was. "So glad you could join us today, Officer Ray." Came the familiar voice. When Van heard it, he stopped in his tracks and looked up at Deaq to see him snickering. With that, he knew that he hadn't been hallucinating. His face betrayed the shock he felt as his heart sunk, his skin crawled and the color drained from his face, leaving him white as a sheet. "This can't be right. It just can't." Van said to Deaq, who was now laughing heartily. "Of course it's right." Roland Hill said, walking up to Van. "If things had been done the right way in the first place, Lieutenant Chambers wouldn't be sitting at home, waiting to have YOUR baby." He dryly commented emphasizing the "your" part. Van just stared at him in shock. "But you got transferred to San Francisco! Why the hell are you back here?" he stammered. "That's not important. What is important is that I am your boss for the foreseeable future and we will be doing things my way." He said with the same snide little grin, Billie had punched off his face one time. Deaq was on the phone when Van walked over to him and took a seat next to him on the white couch in the lounge. "You're day is just about to get a whole hell of a lot better." He cheered to the person on the other end. "This is a dream. It's a very bad dream. That's all it is. It can't be real." Van said loud enough for the person on the other end of Deaq's phone to hear as he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Billie let out a shriek of laughter when she heard this. "Oh my god! He's in shock!" she said with a laugh. "I think you're right Billie. He's in shock. Maybe you should have told him so he could have prepared for this." Deaq said to her, while looking at Van. Suddenly, it registered on Van's face who Deaq was talking to and that she knew already. "Billie, I'm gonna kill you!" he yelled at the phone. "Tsk, tsk." Deaq shook his finger at him. "You can't kill her. Killing a pregnant woman is a capital crime in this state now, remember?" Van let out a frustrated growl. "Fine. I'll get her later!" he grumbled and headed upstairs to the punching bag. Deaq said his goodbyes to Billie and hung up as he headed up to check on Van. "I'm gonna kill her!" Van was saying as he hit the punching bag a few times. "Calm down partner. This isn't her fault. He got transferred back and we decided it would be safer not to tell you." Deaq said as he dragged Van away from the bag. "She could have told me. You could have told me." Van seethed as the headed back downstairs. "Feeling better Van?" Roland called from Billie's office. Van just glared at him and mumbled, "stupid prick" just loud enough for him to hear. Hill headed over to him. "Now, now, just because your girlfriend is being moody doesn't mean you have to be too." He chastised as he came face to face with Van. "Hey! Leave Billie out of this, she's been through a lot lately!" Van said, raising his voice to almost a yell, and getting in Hill's face. "You should take your own advice. If you would have left her alone in the first place, maybe she wouldn't be such a bitch." Hill said with a snotty grin on his face. "Why you stupid little fuck!" Van yelled and punched him in the jaw, knocking him flat on his ass. "Van!" Deaq yelled in disbelief. "Nice shot Van." Roland said as he got to his feet. "Did your girlfriend teach you that?" he asked rubbing the left side of his lower jaw. Van lunged at him again. Deaq jumped in between the two, "Hey, calm down man. This won't last forever." He said, trying with all his might to hold Van back. "Do that again and I'll have you arrested!" he hollered at Van. "Just like you had Billie arrested on the bogus murder charge?" Van yelled back. "Hey, maybe having you arrested on counterfeiting charges would be more suitable. After all, you are related to the infamous Raymond Ray." Hill said with a sneer. Van's face turned an alarming shade of red at the mention of the name. "Have you heard from dear old dad lately? I'm sure he'd love to know you're gonna be a dad and a husband. Who knows, he may even buy something for the baby and pay for the wedding." The short red haired man said with a smile. Van stopped struggling against Deaq and clenched his fist as if he were trying not to kill the man. Finally, Van just looked Hill up and down and walked away.

This had been the longest day on earth, even longer than that horrible 24 hours that Gabriella had had Billie. "This can't get any worse." Or so Van thought. He parked the SUV and let go of the steering wheel. By the time he'd left, he was so stressed out that he had "white knuckled" the drive home. Van wearily unlocked the door and opened it. "Hi." He said as he closed and locked the door behind him. "Oh goodie, you're home!" Billie exclaimed as she bounded up to him like a Springer spaniel on an acid trip and threw her arms around his neck. "So, how was your day?" she chirped happily as she took a few steps back so she was out of strangling range. "I hate you!" he snapped at her as he took a step closer to her and she took a step backward. "Aww, I love you too honey." She snickered as he took another step closer. "I could kill you." He seethed as he brought his hands up to her neck. "Capital crime, remember?" she said pointing to the hands on her neck. Van stared at her for a second then with a grunt of frustration, removed them from her neck. The two stood there, staring at each other for another full two minutes. "Well, I hear the ice I'm on cracking, so I'm just gonna go now." She said with a smile as she quickly backed into the bedroom and closed the door. Once safely inside, Billie collapsed on the bed and let the laughter commence in full force. After a minute, she heard the front door slam, and a small pang of guilt shot through her_. "Damn hormones!"_ she thought as she brushed off the feeling and began to laugh again.

Van got down to his car and hopped behind the wheel. He put the key in the ignition and sat there for a moment. Without warning, he began to beat on the steering wheel. "I swear, the bitch likes to irritate the fuck out of me!" he screamed as he beat up the car. After a couple minutes, he calmed down. He reached in his pocket and grabbed the phone. He pushed speed dial and waited for Deaq to answer. Deaq picked up the phone on the first ring. "So, how'd it go with Billie?" was his greeting. "I hate her. I really, honestly, truly do hate her!" Van spat out. Deaq chuckled. "And why pray tell is that?" he asked jokingly. Van growled at him. "Because she knows that man irritates me and she enjoys it too damn much!" Van finally said. Deaq just chuckled. "It's NOT funny!" Van said exasperated. "Women are like that. They push your buttons and push, and push, until you're ready to kill them, then they stop." Deaq said. "I really need a drink." Van grumbled throwing the car in reverse. "Okay, well, meet me at Ryde and we'll have a drink and talk this out." Deaq said as he got up and grabbed the keys to the red Porsche Carrera he'd borrowed that day. Twenty minutes later, Deaq ambled up to the bar beside Van and ordered a drink. "So, how was she when you left?" he asked not even bothering to look at his partner. "She was in the bedroom laughing her ass off." Van explained, the irritation still present in his voice. Deaq looked at Van and laughed softly. "What? You think this is funny too?" Van asked. "Well, you got to admit, V, hitting him was pretty hysterical!" Deaq said with a snicker. "I'm not talking about that and you know it." Van commented as he took another sip of his scotch.

Just then, Aquarius walked up to the pair. "Hey, my brothers! What's up?" He asked taking a seat on Van's left. "Van is having lady troubles." Deaq answered before Van could say anything. "Deaq, shut up. We're not having problems, I've just had a bad day and she didn't make it better." Van complained. "Well, Van, she's pregnant and on bed rest, how is she supposed to make your reality better when hers sucks too?' Aquarius asked. "Good point." Deaq snickered. Van shot him the bird and turned to Aquarius. "Okay, so her reality sucks and she needs to make it bearable somehow? Is that what you're telling me?" Van asked. "That's exactly what I'm telling you." Aquarius answered with a smile. "So, how do I make her reality suck less so that she'll be nice to me again?" he questioned. "You have two options. You can have the baby for her, or grin and bear it. She won't be like this forever. She'll have the baby soon, then you'll understand what hormone hell actually is." He advised with a laugh. "Have the baby for her?" Deaq laughed heartily. "Van, you'd have one cramp and kill yourself!" he said as he gasped to catch his breath. Van just shot him the most sinister death glare he'd ever seen and said, "Haha, that's funny. Don't make me shoot you in the ass!" Aquarius heard this, as did someone else at the bar and the two men laughed. Deaq stopped snickering and looked at Aquarius. "Et tu Brute?" He said to shut him up and making Van laugh for the first time.

The three men stayed at the club until closing time at 3am. "Well, I better get home before Billie realizes I'm not there." Van stammered as he got up and weaved back and forth. "Hold on a minute partner. I'll drive you back." Deaq said as he knocked back the last gulp of his beer. "Nah, I'm fine da..Deaq." Van muttered. "Yeah. Sure Van. You can't even stand up straight or say my name, what the hell is supposed to make me think you can drive?" Deaq said as he grabbed his keys and led Van to the door. They said their goodbyes to Aquarius and got in Deaq's car for the drive home. The drive was conducted largely in silence. Once in awhile Van would mumble something incoherent and Deaq would laugh, knowing Van couldn't possibly talk to Billie while he was in this condition and expect to live. They got back to the apartment and Deaq helped Van out of the car and up to the apartment. After a couple tries, Van gave up and let Deaq open the door. He went in, said good bye and headed to the couch, where he passed out.

Sometime later, Van became aware of light shining into the room. He adjusted his position to block out the light so his head wouldn't explode. Not being able to do so, he slowly opened his eyes to see where the light was coming from. When he did, he came face to face with the very angry eyes of his fiancé. "Where the hell were you?" She yelled before he could even comprehend what he was looking at. "Holy shit!" Van yelled and rolled off the couch when his eyes focused on hers not more and an inch away. Billie pulled back and continued to stare, getting just a little bit more pissed that he didn't even start with I'm sorry. "I was worried sick about you! Do you know what horrible scenarios went through my head about what could have happened to you?" She asked standing up and crossing her arms. "You were worried? By the level of amusement yesterday, I didn't think you cared." He smartly shot back as he sat up. "Don't care? You think I didn't care? You ass!" She yelled and turned to walk away. Before she got even two steps away, Van grabbed her left hand. "Billie wait." He began to say. Without warning she whipped around and smacked him across the face with her right hand, leaving a bright red mark. In shock, Van let go of her and she hurriedly walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Van walked up to the door and knocked. "Billie?" he said softly. "Go away jackass!" she yelled through sobs. "I'm sorry." He replied starting to feel bad for making her feel this way. "Sorry for what?" she asked. "Sorry for this." Van said trying to get her to open the door. "And 'this' would be what, Van? Sorry we had a fight? Sorry we've been so testy with each other lately? Sorry we got engaged? Sorry we got pregnant or sorry we slept together in the first place? Be specific!" she screamed as she opened the door and met his eyes as tears streamed down her face. Van leaned against the door frame as he pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry. "I'm so sorry I left and didn't tell you where I was going. I'm sorry I said I hated you. I don't hate you, I love you so much." He said kissing her head. "I love you too. I'm sorry I've been so bitchy and impossible lately." She sobbed as a few more tears slid down her face and she finally calmed down. Van sat on the bed, pulling her on his lap as he played with her hair. After a few moments of silence, Billie spoke. "When my mother was pregnant with William and Lorelei, she was always so moody over the littlest things. She used to tell me that when I had my kids, I would be the same way, but she'd be here to make it all better and walk me through it. You would have loved her. She said I reminded her of what she was like when she was a little girl." Billie said as her eyes teared up again. "What was her name?" Van asked. "Charlotte." Was all Billie said. "That's a beautiful name. I bet she was wonderful, just like her daughter." Van said as he took Billie's hand in his. "I really miss her." She said with a slight sob. "I'm sorry your mom was murdered and has missed out on so much of your life." Van sincerely said. "So am I. I wish she could be here to see me get married." Billie said with a sigh. Van scooted his way to the middle of the bed with Billie still in his arms. They stayed there for the remainder of the morning, talking about her mom and dozing.

DKM: I hope this answers the question of all the awful things that happen to Van. And I really hope you like how difficult Billie is for him to deal with in this chapter!

Everyone: Thanks for reading! I'm getting closer to the end.


	17. Chapter 17

Ch. 17 From This Moment On 

The previous two weeks had worn on and on. Van went to work everyday in a good mood and came home in a bad one. Billie was in a bad mood usually, so his mood didn't seem to phase her. The wedding was officially 24 hours away now. Billie's doctor had given her the okay to be more active than usual on her wedding day, and for that she was glad. Not being able to do anything for more than a few minutes at time the past two weeks had started to drive her nuts. The longest time she'd been able to be out and about was when she went to the doctor for her weekly checkup. This morning she was with Ruby getting their nails done. "Has it even hit you that you're getting married tomorrow?" Ruby asked with a smile. Billie handed the girl doing her nails a shell pink color of polish and smiled at Ruby. " I don't think it will really sink in until tomorrow." She said. "How did you manage to do it all while on bed rest anyway?" The older woman pressed. "Van's dad did most of it. He's so sweet and has been such a huge help. Just don't tell Van I said that. He thinks his dad is a louse with only self serving intentions." Billie said with a laugh. Ruby laughed at this, "Don't worry, what your husband doesn't know won't hurt him." She said. "Oh you're evil!" Billie exclaimed. "Poor Bob. No wonder he's gotten so old!" she finished with a laugh.

On the other side of town, the men were doing their thing. "You alright man?" Deaq asked taking note that Van was a lot more quiet than normal. "I'm fine. Just thinking is all." Van muttered. "Thinking? What about?" Deaq responded with a wry smile. "Life. The future." Van answered. "Oh, you mean being married to Billie and what it will be like." Deaq interpreted. Van rolled his eyes at him. "Something like that." He commented. "What's the matter Van? You're not nervous are you?" Captain Parish cheered. "Well, a little. This is a major life change." Van answered honestly. "And by the time you get used to this, you guys will have a baby." Deaq cut in.

Van started to growl something at him, when there was a knock at the door. Van got up and answered the door. Standing on the other side were two people. They looked to be in their early to mid twenties. Both had dark hair and light eyes. They looked oddly familiar, but Van just couldn't place them. "Can I help you?" he asked the strangers. "Uh, I think so. We're looking for Van Ray." Said the young man. "He contacted us last week about our sister." The young woman said. "Oh, you're William and Lorelei then?" Van asked, getting excited. "Yeah. Our sister is…" they started. "Billie." All three of them said in unison. "Well, come in, come in." Van said eagerly and showed them in. "Deaq, Bob, I'd like you to meet William and Lorelei; Billie's brother and sister." He said. "Hi." The siblings said with a smile as the shock registered on Deaq's face. "You two are related to Billie? She's never said anything." He said. "Did you know?" he asked a shocked Captain Parish as the larger man sat there with his jaw dropped and clearly sizing the two up. "N…no. She never said. All I was ever told was that her mother was dead and her father was in jail." He said slowly. "Then she never mentioned that her father is the reason her mother is dead?" William asked. "You're father killed you're mom!" Deaq gasped in shock. "No. Her father killed our mom. She's our half sister. Then our father treated her like shit. One day he raped her and she finally ran away." Lorelei explained. "We wanted to look for her. Dad wouldn't let us. He said it was better that 'the dirty tramp' was gone. His words, not mine. I loved Billie. Still do. After mom died, she was like our only parent." William explained. Van looked over to Lorelei who was now, looking at the pictures on the walls. "That was taken on Christmas Eve, when we got engaged." Van said as she touched a picture on the wall. "She's pregnant. How far along?" she asked. "Yeah. Our first baby. She's seven months now." Van said with a smile, thinking of his beautiful fiancé. "I have a little boy. Tristen is 18 months old now. He looks just like my husband, Jeremy. We've been married since I was 18." She said wistfully. "How old are you now?" Captain Parish asked for the first time since the pair had been there. I just turned 25 on January 23rd." she answered. "Wow, you're still really young." Deaq said. "Well, just before I turned 18, dad got arrested for sexual assault. He always used to say Julie, the friend of mine he assaulted, reminded him of Billie. When he got arrested, he said if Billie had stuck around he wouldn't have touched Julie. That's when I learned what he'd done to my sister." She said mournfully. "Not long after, I met Jeremy. We began to date and we moved in together almost immediately. William was only 16 at the time, so he had him move in with us, so that we didn't get split up." We got married two weeks after I turned 18." She finished. "Wow." All three men said in unison.

The group ran the errands that were needed to get ready for the wedding for the rest of the day. Van had talked to Billie a couple times, only telling her that he had a surprise for her that night. Billie had tried to trick him into telling her what it is, but Van held firm and didn't even give her a hint. When she failed to get Van to tell her, she dialed Deaq and tried to get it out of him. "Hi Billie." Deaq said as he answered his phone. "Hi Deaq. Listen, I need to ask you something." She said. Deaq snickered as he put her on speaker phone. "Okay, what you want?" he asked nonchalantly. "What's the surprise Van has for me?" she sweetly asked. Deaq had to stifle a snicker when she asked this. "I can't tell you that. It's a surprise for tonight." Deaq chastised her. Van rolled his eyes in that dramatic way Billie always did when she didn't get her way. Deaq let out a hearty chuckle at this sight. "What's so funny?" Billie snapped. "Oh nothing. I was just thinking, is all." Deaq replied, rolling his eyes too. "I hope you were thinking about how to tell me what my surprise is or how to get a new job when I have you black listed for lying." She threatened. "Good god, Billie, you'll only have to wait another hour to find out. That's not too long!" Deaq said looking at the clock and realizing that it was already 5:30 and the rehearsal was to start in one hour. "Oh come on! Just tell me! I can act surprised! I'm good at faking emotion dammit!" she whined. With that, Van's resolve gave way and a deep laugh escaped his throat. "Who the hell is that?" she yelled at Deaq. Deaq reached over and pinched Van. "Owe, that hurt!" Van yelled, clearly letting Billie know who it was and that she'd heard. "I hate you Deaq!" she squealed and threw down her phone. Van, Deaq, William and, Lorelei erupted into fits of laughter. "Yup, she hasn't changed a bit!" William laughed. "You mean she's always been like this!" Van said as he gasped for air. "Oh yeah! She was better at throwing hissy fits when she was eight than I was as a four year old!" her sister laughed. "Yup, Billie has always had a flair for the dramatic." William agreed with his sister. "Only now, she has a gun." Deaq snickered.

An hour later, the group arrived at Rancho del Cielo in Malibu. Van checked to see if Billie was around before sneaking in her surprise. He got the pair set up so they could see the rehearsal but Billie couldn't see them. After that was set, he went to say hello to Rev. Jack Warren. They talked for a moment and then Van and Deaq took their places. They went through the march a couple times with Billie's only attendant, Ruby. Having that all set, they were ready for Bob to walk Billie down the aisle. That went off perfectly. He gave Billie away to Van. The reverend went through what he would say and what they would say. "So our goal is to start at 11am tomorrow morning. Van, don't go getting cold feet." Rev. Warren said. "Billie, don't go having the baby." He finished. She and Van let out nervous laughter.

At 8pm, the group of 8 people arrived at 31 West at the Hotel Andalucia for the rehearsal dinner. The restaurant was housed in the upscale Hotel Andalucia in Santa Barbara. This hotel is also where Van and Billie would spend their "honeymoon". They planned to go on a real honeymoon after the baby was born, but for now, they would spend the first couple days of married life here. The matre d' led, Billie, Deaq, Ruby, Bob and Ray Ray into the posh dining room to a large oval table. Van had pretended to use the restroom in order to sneak in Billie's siblings for the surprise. The dining room was beautiful. It was a spacious room with, about 18 tables. The walls were covered in a lovely eggshell colored wallpaper with deep burgundy floral design. The walls were paneled half way with cherry wood paneling to go with the tables and chairs in the room. A plain ivory table cloth covered each table and had chair padding to match. There were 8 crystal chandeliers for lighting the room.

A couple minutes after the group was seated, Van returned. "Sorry about that." He said, kissing Billie on the cheek and taking a seat next to her. "What took so long?" she quizzically asked looking at the strange expression on his face. "Oh, I got stopped by a couple people. They saw us come in the door and apparently, they know you." He said, the smile broadening on his face. "Oh really? Who are they?" she asked appropriately intrigued now. "Let me go get them." Van said and got up from the table to retrieve her surprise. "Deaq, what do you know about this?" she sweetly asked as soon as Van was out of earshot. "Why do you always assume I know everything Van does?" He asked defensively. "Because you usually do." She said with an innocent smile. This caused the other occupants of the table to laugh. Just then, Van reemerged, two people following behind him. "Billie, you remember these two?" Van asked as he stood aside so William and Lorelei could greet their sister. Billie turned around in her seat to see the people he was talking about. When she saw them, she froze. They looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place them. "Hey, Wil." Lorelei spoke first. "It's been a long time, Sass." William said. With those words, it hit Billie who these people were. Instantly, her eyes got big and her hands flew to her face to muffle the shocked scream. An instant later and the tears began to flow. It was William and Lorelei. They were the only two who ever called her those names. "Oh my god." She whispered as she walked up to them. "Lori? Hi!" she said to her sister as they hugged. Lorelei burst into tears when Billie called her that. Everyone else always used her given name, even though she liked Lori better. "Spike!" Billie gasped as she walked over to William. "Hey sweetie." He said as he wrapped her in a hug. She'd called him spike ever since he was a little kid and gave himself a haircut just before their mom's funeral. "You've changed." She sobbed happily. " So have you." He said, the tear marks streaking his face as he held her at arms length and looked her over. Billie smiled and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Yeah, I've grown up a lot." She commented. William just smiled and pulled both of his sisters into a hug. A couple minutes and many tears later, the three pulled apart. William turned his attention to Van, who was standing off to the side, smiling happily at what he'd accomplished for Billie. "Van, you're a good man." He said, holding his hand out, which Van grasped. William pulled him into a quick hug, then stepped back. "It's so nice to know that my sister has a man that really cares about her happiness." He said. "I do. I love her so much I can't even put the feelings into words." Van said, smiling at Billie who started to cry again. "I'm glad to hear that, because if you ever break her heart, I'll break your neck." He finished in a monotone. Van's face went slack and his complexion went pasty white at this. He wasn't used to someone being around to protect Billie. William let out a slight laugh, which caused Van to nervously chuckle himself. "You're…you're quite a guy Will." He said. "Well, I love my sister and I will kill you if you hurt her." Will said, his tone getting serious again. "I…I…I'll…" Van started. "Spike, knock it off. Van would never hurt me." Billie jumped in, playfully smacking her brothers arm. Van smiled at her in a silent 'thank you'. "If he did, I'd decapitate him with an olive fork and he knows it." She said after a moment of silence. "What is the deal with you people and my neck?" Van screeched, his eyes popping and his hands closing around his throat. Every one laughed at this. "Don't worry Van. As long as you cooperate, you won't get hurt." Billie said slyly. Van shot her a surprised look. "What are you, a terrorist? I'm supposed to be your husband, not your hostage!" Van squealed. "I know." Billie said. She wrapped her arms around Van's neck. "Thank you." She whispered. "You're welcome. I love you." Van said as his lips descended on hers for a kiss. "I love you too." She said as they kissed. The kiss continued for a full two minutes until they were reminded that they still had guests. "Oh, yuck! Stop it!" Deaq finally hollered. "Captain Parish, I can't deal with them doing that, day in and day out for the rest of my life! I'll get a cavity!" Deaq whined as everyone laughed. "Well, I suppose I could quit my job and stay home with the baby." Billie said. "Yes, you could." Deaq commented. "Bob, you can tell Roland that I will be letting him have my job full time at Deaq's request." She said, knowing Van would have a shit fit about it. "Whoa! Wait a damn minute here! No! You can't do that! No! Just no! Its cruel and unusual punishment!" Van said in an ultra girly shriek. "That's what I thought." Billie snickered. The groups spent the rest of their time dining on Chicken Lettuce Wraps, Marinated Flank Steak, Potato Gratin, Mushroom and Rajma Curry, Oriental Salad and, a decadent chocolate cake on a bed of raspberry sauce for dessert. Non-alcoholic Champagne was served as well.

Valentines Day dawned the next morning with an amazing sunrise. "Get up Billie." Lori said as she walked in her sisters room. The two women had been up most of the night. Lori told Billie about her husband, son and her job as a special education teacher in Aspen, Colorado. Billie told Lori about her job, how she met Van and her past heroine addiction. "Wow, that's rough." She had replied. Now, she stood in her sisters room trying to get her out of bed. "Five more minutes." Billie groaned and sunk down deeper into the sheets. "Dum, dum, dum, dum." Lori sang. Instantly Billie shot up. "Oh shit! What time is it?" she asked as she jumped out of bed. "Relax, its only seven o'clock. We have plenty of time." Her sister said, laughing at Billie's nerves. "Is she freaking out yet?" Ruby called as she came into the room. "A little." Lori answered. "I am not!" Billie yelled in a mock insulted tone. The other two women laughed at this. "Come on, you two. Breakfast is ready." Ruby said. The women sat down to a casual breakfast of French toast, fresh fruit salad and coffee.

Twenty minutes away at Deaq's place, the men were also just waking up. "Oh, my head!" Van groaned as he made his way to the coffee pot in the kitchen. "That was quite a night huh?" Deaq said as he handed Van a cup of coffee and two aspirin. "Oh yeah." Van said as he gulped the aspirin down with a swig of the coffee. "Where did you find her anyway?" Van asked. "Who?" Deaq replied. "The stripper!" Van said to clarify. "Which one, Tawny?" Deaq questioned with a smile. "Wait, thought Tawny was the belly dancer?" Came Vans confused response. "No, that was Tasha." Deaq replied. "Man, when I got married bachelor parties were nothing like last night!" Bob said as he wandered into the kitchen. "I wonder what the girls did last night." Ray Ray commented as he entered the kitchen. "Probably a lot like what we did, Dad." Van answered. "Nah, Billie's pregnant. She wouldn't do that." Came the response from the older con. "She's pregnant dad, not a saint. Believe me. I know." Van said with a wicked smile. "Gross! Too much information!" Deaq hollered at Van as the older men laughed.

Over at the apartment the women were talking. "Five strip joints in one night! I can't believe it!" Lori exclaimed as she came back into bedroom where Ruby was helping Billie get ready to head to the church. "See, spaz. I told you L.A. was a hot town." Billie retorted as she put her hair in a ponytail while Ruby tied up her brown ankle boot for her. Billie hadn't seen her feet in a month so she only wore slip on shoes now. "Yes, you did. But how do you know where all those joints are at? And why do you know so many men that work there?" Lori asked. "I worked vice for a couple years." Billie answered as she observed her reflection in the mirror. "I hope I don't look like beached whale in my dress." She said under her breath. "You'll look beautiful." Ruby encouraged. "Yes, you will. But working vice still doesn't explain how you know all those men. Most people wouldn't be too happy to see the cop that busted them." The shorter woman said. "Right, and those men weren't exactly begging you to leave, Billie." Ruby chimed in with a smile. "I never said I busted them. I just met most of them while doing vice. Took a few for a test drive while I was at it." Billie commented nonchalantly. "Including 'Mr. Big'?" Lori asked, curious for more detail. "That's not just a show name. He's earned it!" Billie said with a big smile. Lori and Ruby whooped it up for a couple minutes. "We ought to give you a show name for receiving a mind boggling 15 lap dances in one night! What would Van say about that?" Ruby exclaimed. Billie just shrugged. "You said it yourself Ruby, what my husband doesn't know won't hurt him. Or in this case, won't get me killed." She smiled.

At 9:45, Billie, Ruby and Lori arrived at Rancho del Cielo to get dressed for the wedding. The grounds were decorated in burgundy and platinum. Leading from the ceremony sight to the reception area was a canopied bridge. The canopy was strewn with burgundy and platinum fabric, and a garland of white roses along the hand railing. The guests would be seated in white chairs. On each chair at the end of the aisle, there was a white lace ribbon. On the first chair in the first row on the left side of the aisle, there was a silver bow in memory of Billie's mother. Fifteen minutes later, Van, Deaq, Bob, Ray Ray and William arrived at the estate for the wedding. As they walked to the groom's area to get ready, Van spotted Ruby walking back to the bride's dressing room. "Well the girls are here already." Van said with a smile.

In the dressing room, Ruby was getting ready. "Lori, you tried this on, right?" Ruby asked. "Yeah." She said as she was setting out Billie's things. "You tried on what?" Billie asked. "Oh, well see, since you're not supposed to be up and around, Van knew you'd be doing the shopping through the internet, so when you decided on a dress, he got the description from Ruby and the web address off your cachet and sent the information to me." She explained. Billie started to cry at this explanation. She had told Van that she would have loved to have her sister stand up with her at her wedding, and he made it happen. "The little computer hackers skills have finally paid off." She sobbed as she hugged first Lori, then Ruby.

Over in the men's side; Van, Deaq, Bob and William were getting ready. At the last moment, Van had decided to ask William to be in the wedding party. He knew it would mean a lot to Billie and it never hurt to get on the good side of his soon-to-be-brother-in-law. "Van, it really means a lot to me that you want me in your wedding." William said as he finished tying his platinum satin Windsor tie. "I'm glad you could do it. I know it means a lot to Billie." Van said as he fumbled with his black satin Windsor tie. "I love my sister. Until two weeks ago, I thought I would never see her again, and now here I am at her wedding and going to be apart of her life as a new wife and mother." Will said as he snapped on his gold and onyx studded cufflinks. "This means a lot to me too." Van said. "Really?" Will asked. "Yeah. I'm an only child and have never really been apart of a close knit family so it will be nice to bring up my child as a part of a family." Van said with a smile. A moment after, a grunt of frustration followed as he yanked off his tie. "Here son, let me help." Ray Ray said as he stepped forward and started to do Van's tie.

"Do you guys think I could have a couple minutes alone with my son on his wedding day?" Ray Ray asked the other three men. "Uh, sure. We'll just go see if the guests are arriving yet." Deaq said and all three men left the room. "Uh, Dad. About the not having a real family thing," Van started. "No, I understand. You didn't have a real family. You're mother and I were never there for you." Ray began. "You really weren't. And it hurt. It really hurt." Van said. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just hope that you are present for your wife and child like I wasn't for mine." Ray said as he finished Van's tie. Van didn't say anything, but pulled his dad into a hug. "You're welcome." The con said as he was released from Van's grasp.

In the bride's room the women are getting ready. Ruby and Lori had dawned beautiful duchess strapless trumpet gowns with a sweet heart neckline and a beautiful dove brooch in the center of the neckline. The dresses are an incredible dark ruby color. The pair also dawned beautiful platinum rope necklaces with a half carat round diamond pendant and a diamond tennis bracelet. "You two look great!" Billie exclaimed when she saw them. "Thank you. Now it's time to make you look great." Lori said as she unzipped the garment bag that contained Billie's dress. They got Billie in the dress. She had chosen an Alex Hanson dress for the occasion. The dress, a lovely strapless, stain number was an incredible medium ivory color. There was a simple but flattering square neckline and the bodice was decorated with lovely silver, floral embroidery. The embellishment continued all the way down the front of the floor length A-line skirt. A simple chapel train added the extra touch of glamour to the outfit. To match the dress, Billie had found a pair of ivory, bridal satin opera gloves. The shoes were the next things to go on. An ivory silk/satin open toe sandal with and ankle strap and two inch heal is what Billie had chosen. "You look beautiful." Lori said when she saw her. "Thank you." Billie replied as she put in the lovely diamond cross earrings her sister had brought her. They had belonged to her mother, who had gotten them from Billie's grandmother on her wedding day, so Billie was thrilled to be able to wear them. "But, why all ivory? Why not white like other first time brides?" Ruby asked sitting on the couch to prepare for the answer. "Simple really. It's one thing to hear snickering when you walk down the aisle. But me in a white dress? I couldn't even keep a straight face!" Billie said as she placed a protective hand on her basketball shaped stomach. Lori and Ruby just looked at her for a moment, in shock. Under their intense stares, she couldn't hold it anymore and started to bubble over with laughter. "Not to mention, my body would reject a white dress." She snickered. "Har har, very funny, Wil." Lori said with a chuckle as she rolled her eyes dramatically like her sister did. "Seriously, I think I'm allergic to that color." Billie commented as she picked up the silver Edward Berger tiara. "A little help please?" she said to Ruby who was now laughing at the exchange the siblings had just shared. "Sure." Ruby said, regaining her composure and pulling herself off the white couch to help Billie. Twenty minutes later, Billie was dressed and ready. "Oh you look wonderful!" Ruby and Lori both exclaimed through tears. "I feel like one of my daughters is getting married." Ruby said as she hugged Billie, who was lightly crying now as well. Lori was next for a hug. "I'm so glad Van found us. I only wish Jeremy could have been here to meet you. He wanted to be here, but he had to work." Lori explained as she pulled Billie's half ponytail a bit tighter and pulled a couple strands of curls out of the tiara to frame her face. "There, you look perfect." She said getting misty again.

Just then, Captain Parish walked in the room. "It's…" he started, then stopped. "Billie, you look…um, wow. You look…well, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm so proud of you." He said, his voice cracking as a couple of tears slid down his cheek. Bob quickly gave her a hug. "It's time to start. Are you ready?" he said, remembering why he was in there anyway. "It's time? Now? Right now?" Billie said, the color draining from her face. "No, next week. Of course right now!" Lori said with a laugh when she saw the telltale signs that Billie was getting nervous. "Oh god. I can't do this. I'm not ready." Billie stammered. "This is happening too fast. I can't get married now. I haven't been with him long enough!" She continued to yammer, even as she felt her stomach flop and something start to creep up her throat. "You can do this. You are ready. You've known Van for over a year. You've been with him plenty to do this." The tall, heavy set black man said as he blatantly looked at her swollen belly. "I'm gonna be sick." Billie said as she made a bee line for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Ruby ran over to it, just in time to hear Billie paying her respects at the porcelain alter. "Bob, you tell everyone it will be a few minutes." She said as she opened the door and went in to calm Billie down.

Over on the men's side, Van, Deaq, Will and Ray were sitting around talking and having a shot of scotch each. Bob walked in the room. "We're almost ready to start." Ray shot him a look that said 'almost?' As if reading the cons mind, Bob filled in. "Yeah, Billie just is getting touched up real quick. I guess I caught her by surprise. She looks absolutely amazing though." He said while giving Van a small smile. "Surprise? I knew it. She's come to her senses." Van said taking another shot. "She's decided she can do better hasn't she? I knew it was too good to be true. Life just isn't like that, I guess." Van muttered. "No, Van. She hasn't changed her mind. She's just a bit nervous and needs a minute to compose herself." Parish explained as he put a comforting hand on the young cop's shoulder. "She's just nervous? Why is she nervous? I'm the one that should be nervous. I mean, the most wonderful woman in the world wants to spend the rest of her life with me. She picked me. She could have any man she wants, but she wants me. Why? How the hell did I get that lucky?" Van said, his eyes getting spacey as he thought of walking down the road holding his wife's hand and pushing their baby in the stroller on a Sunday afternoon. "Son, she just loves you that much. Don't give her a reason to stop." Raymond Ray said as he stood up. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Bob answered it, and came back a moment later. "Van, she's ready. We can get started now." He said, waiting for Van to freak as Billie had done earlier. "Okay, lets get married!" Came Van's surprising response.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 From This Moment On 

A/N Don't own it, so chill!

The wedding was beautiful. Billie walked down the aisle on Bob's arm to the tune of "Jesu, joy of man's desiring". When the reverend asked who gave this woman, he proudly replied that he did. It was nice to have someone be proud of her, Billie had thought. When Bob kissed her and handed her off to Van, she felt a tear slide down his cheek and fall on to her shoulder. The wedding party looked great. At several points during the ceremony, both the bride and groom cried. The first time being when Billie read her vows to Van. A poem called, "A Gift of Love" by Sharon MacFayden.

My gift to you is my love Given from deep within my heart 

_And it is the best I have to offer_

And it's yours until this earth we depart 

_You have captured a part of me_

_A part so very fragile that I am in fear_

_For it is my heart I have lost_

_To you my love, the one I hold most dear_

_I choose to love you now_

_With all that I have and all that I am_

_And I pray that God follows us_

_To guide our steps as we cross the land_

_For it is with his blessings_

_We will live most at peace with each other_

_For he is the reason after all_

_We found one and other…I love you!_

The second sobbing point in the ceremony was when Van read his vows to Billie. A poem entitled "A Cute Poem for a Cute Girl" by an unknown author.

You changed my world with a blink of an eye 

_This is something that I can not deny_

_You put my soul from worst to best_

_That is why I treasure you my dearest Marites_

_You just don't know what you have done for me_

_You even pushed me to the best that I can be_

_You really are an angel, sent from above_

_To take care of me and shower with love_

_When I'm with you, I will not cry even a single tear_

_And your touch have chased away all of my fear_

_You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile_

_It is even better every time you smile_

_It's so magical those things you've made_

_To bring back my faith that almost fade_

_Now my life is a dream come true_

_It all began when I was loved by you_

_Now that I have found what I am looking for_

_It's you and your love and nothing more_

_Co'z you have given me this feeling of contentment_

_In my life something I've never felt_

_I wish I could talk 'til the end of day_

_But now I'm running out of things to say_

_So I'll end by the line you already know_

"_I LOVE YOU" more than what I could show_

By the time Van finished, his eyes were shining with fresh tears as the ones she'd just shed, streaked her face. Van reached up and took her face in his hands as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, eliciting a slight "aww" from some in the pews. Before they were officially married, the old, white haired reverend offered a tip for a long, happy marriage: one ten second kiss and one thirty second hug, per day; beginning immediately. After that, he pronounced "you may kiss the bride" and the guests counted as Van and Billie shared their first married kiss, which lasted closer to thirty seconds instead of the prescribed ten. The couple walked down the aisle with smiles permanently etched on their faces as Van clicked his heels.

_(I do swear that I'll always be there._

_I'd give anything and everything And I will always care._

_Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow._

_For better for worse, I will love you_

_With every beat of my heart)_

After the ceremony, the wedding party and guests headed over the bridge to the reception area. Before they went in, the wedding party got some photos taken. The photos of Billie and Van were done beautifully in black and white, with only a splash of color for the flowers Billie was holding. "Okay, now, you two kiss." The photographer said. "Well, if you insist." Van replied slyly and placed a kiss on the lips of his blushing new bride. "Okay, Billie, let me get one of just you over by the rose bushes." Billie looked at Van and smiled. Placing a quick kiss on his lips she started over to the bushes. Before she got even three feet, Van captured her hand. "One more kiss." He playfully said and kissed her again before letting her continue. "Okay, one more." Billie said and they kissed for what seemed like the trillionth time in the 15 minutes they'd been married. "Oh get a room!" Came Deaq's incessant whine. "Hey, we're in love! Leave us alone!" Van yelled in Deaq's direction as he wrapped his arms around Billie for a hug, playing with the buttons on the back of her dress. "Well go be in love some where else, I'm gonna be sick." He continued to whine. "Well, maybe we should. We don't want Deaq to get sick. Just tell your dad that we had to be alone to protect Deaq's stomach!" Billie said with a Cheshire like grin. "Oh, very funny! Take the damn picture so we can party already!" Deaq said and stood back to watch. With that, Billie headed over to the bushes and had three photos taken. Two of her and one of her and Van…kissing.

From this moment life has begun From this moment you are the one 

_Right beside you is where I belong_

_From the moment on_

After that, the wedding party was introduced. First William when in, followed by Deaq, then Lori and finally Ruby. "Ladies and gentlemen it is my extreme pleasure to be able to present to you for the first time in public, Mr. and Mrs. Donovan Ray!" The DJ announced as Van and Billie made their grand entrance. Van visibly cringed when he heard his name. "I told him not to call me that." He muttered just loud enough for Billie to hear as they walked into the tented reception area. "Yeah, I know, but I told him to call you that!" She said with a wide smile as she waved to a couple of the guests. "You are so gonna get it." Van said playfully as he pulled out a chair for his wife and took a seat next to her at the sweetheart table. The newlyweds sat at the table just long enough to listen to Deaq give the first toast. "Van, you are one hell of a guy. Never in a million years did I think you would be able to catch Billie's eye. What's more surprising is that she caught yours. I remember not long after we started working together, you and I had a talk. You made a toast to Billie, said she was the hottest chick you'd never want to have sex with." Deaq said with the biggest smile anyone had ever seen, as the color drained from Van's face and Billie stared daggers at him. "But, alas, you did more than just sleep with her, you fell in love and got married. "Lastly, Billie, sending me on the busts with Van so that he wouldn't get married sure paid off, huh? Who would have ever thought you would marry such a beaten dog? Congratulations, you two." Deaq finish with a chuckle as Billie quickly turned her death stare from Van to Deaq.

_From this moment I have been blessed_

_I live only for your happiness_

_And for your love, I'd give my last breath_

_From this moment on_

"Deaq!" she hissed as she got up and walked past Van to stand in front of a still grinning Deaq. "You want me to kill you, don't you!" She yelled as she made lunge for his throat. Deaq side stepped her and Van grabbed her around her waist just in time to keep her from getting charged with attempted murder on her wedding day. "Whoa, I was just playing, Billie. Honest! Deaq laughed as he put his hands up in the air in a surrendering gesture. In this new flurry of activity, no one noticed the man standing in the back of the crowd, quiet enjoying this show. If he would have known that Detective Hayes had the ability to ruin her wedding day single handedly, he wouldn't have bothered to show up. But he didn't have that knowledge and what's more, he was so glad he didn't. "Excuse me." He said. No one paid attention. "Excuse me! I'd like to make a toast to the happy couple." Hill said, ringing a bell and finally getting everyone's attention; especially Billie and Van's. "What the hell are you doing here?" Billie shouted. "Get the hell out, right now!" Van yelled as he began to ball up his fists seeing the satisfied sneer on his face slowly grow. "Oh, calm down, Van. I just wanted to offer my congratulations to you and Bessie." He said as he shook the bell one more time. It was then that Billie realized, that not only did he have a bell, he had a cow bell! "Oh god! Van do something! Make him stop! Go away you creep! Quit ruining my life!" Billie said as she began to wail uncontrollably. Quickly, Lori and Ruby led her away from the scene to calm her down. Van watched the hysterical form of his wife being led out of the tent, before he leapt over the table followed by Deaq and lunged at Rolland Hill. "Why you obnoxious prick!" Van screamed as his fist slammed firmly into Hill's nose, replacing the prissy smile with a shocked expression and a trail of blood. "Why Donovan, I'm shocked. I was just…"The unwelcome guest stated. Deaq quickly cut him off with a right hook to the face and a knee firmly jabbed into his gut. The red head stood up momentarily and threw a blind punch, connecting with Van's lip. The bottom lip split open and blood trickled out down his chin. Hill then doubled over again in pain. Only a moment later, Aquarius joined in. As Rolland stood up again and prepared to swing at Deaq, the large black man grabbed him from behind by his shoulders and threw him to the ground. As soon as the bleeding red head hit the floor, Aquarius's foot firmly, and loudly connected with his crotch. "Owe, that fucking hurt lard ass!" Hill yelled as he doubled over in pain. "Lard ass? Who you calling lard ass, Opie!" Aquarius shouted and slammed his foot down on Hill's back as the man tried to get up.

_I give my hand to you with all my heart_

_I can't wait to live my life with you, I can't wait to start_

_You and I will never be apart_

_My dreams came true because of you_

Thirty minutes later, the paramedics had left with Rolland Hill on a stretcher. Van's busted lip was cleaned up at the reception and he was sent on his way. It was later found that Hill had suffered a broken nose, four broken ribs, a concussion, a gash on his forehead that required seven stitches and a bruised spinal column. Van wandered outside in search of his wife to make sure she was okay. He found her over by the cliff, looking out onto the ocean with her sister. Ruby had gone back inside when she saw Hill carted away. As he approached the two women, Lori was having success in calming Billie down. She was still sobbing intermittently, but it had gotten better. "It's okay, sis. He's been taken off now. It's alright. Just calm down." Lori repeated as she rubbed Billie's back. "She okay?" Van quietly asked as he approached the two women. "She'll be fine, Van." Lori said as she turned around. "Oh, shit! What happened? Are you okay?" she exclaimed once she noticed the blood on his shirt and the split lip. As if on cue, Billie turned around to see what Lori was talking about. When she did, she lost it all over again. "Oh my god! What did he do to you!" She screamed as he walked up to her. "Don't worry, babe. I'm fine! Just calm down." Van said to her soothingly as he attempted to wrap her in a hug, however Billie pulled away so she could look at his lip better. Satisfied that his lip was alright, Billie compliantly collapsed into Van's arms and sobbed hysterically. "I'm gonna kill him! I refuse to let a four-eyed 'Lucky the Leprechaun' ruin my wedding and get away with it!" She yelled as she hit her fists against Van's chest a few times to vent frustration. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm okay. We're okay. He didn't ruin anything. We still have guests to go in and see. Let's show them that one pickle puss isn't going to stop the party." Van said as he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head repeatedly until she calmed down. Ten minutes later, Billie had finally calmed down. "You ready to go back?" Van asked as she looked up at him, her red rimmed eyes shining with tears and love. "Let's just stay here for another minute." She said quietly. "Okay, whatever you want. This is your day. You deserve nothing but to be happy." Van said quietly as his hand moved up and cupped her cheek. "You've made me the happiest woman on the planet." She said and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

_From this moment as long as I live_

_I will love you, I promise you this_

_There is nothing I wouldn't give_

_From this moment on_

A few minutes later, the pair returned to the party. As soon as they walked in, several people made a fuss over Van's lip and made sure Billie was okay, before the DJ got their attention. "Ladies and gentleman. Now that things have calmed down and the disruption has been put away, it is now time for the first dance!" Van and Billie started onto the dance floor as the music for "From This Moment On" began to play. This song had been Billie's idea and this was the first time Van had heard what she picked. As they danced, Van listened to the words of the song. "I love you." He said happily as he kissed her. The couple continue continued to dance.

_You're the reason I believe in love_

_And you're the answer to my prayers from up above_

_All we need is just the two of us_

_My dreams came true because of you_

As the song continued to play, Van and Billie talked, kissed and danced. "You know, before I met you, I had decided that true love was in the same category as Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny." She said, looking into his smiling face. "And what category is that?" he asked already knowing that she was going to say 'not true', or something to that effect. "You hear about it growing up and believe in it, but then you learn that there is no such thing." Billie said. "It's all about having faith that even if you can't see it, it's still there." Van said as he kissed her. "True. You proved me wrong. Thank you." She said. "You're welcome. I'm glad you were wrong." Van said and lowered his lips to hers again.

_From this moment as long as I live_

_I will love you, I promise you this_

_There is nothing I wouldn't give_

_From this moment on_

_I will love you as long as I live_

_From this moment on_

After that, they had the cutting of the cake. Which was appropriately messy with Van smudging it on Billie's nose then kissing it off, like he'd done her birthday cake. And the bouquet toss, caught by Bob and Ruby's daughter, Miranda. Miranda is their oldest child. She is 25 years old and has just graduated UC Berkley with a Bachelors in Consumer Science and is going back for her Masters in the fall. Next came the garter toss. Van got the garter off and tossed it to the crowed of men over his shoulder. Deaq easily caught the lacey item. When he did, he checked out the tall, voluptuous, dark haired beauty that he only knew as Bob's daughter. "Absolutely not!" Bob yelled behind Deaq when he saw who the young detective was looking at. Hearing this, Van and Billie laughed. "Hey, Deaq. How come he can tell you no and you listen but when I said it, you told me to shove off?" Billie said with a snicker. Deaq just glared at her.

Suddenly, Bob tapped the side of his glass and proposed a toast. "I just wanted to express how much Billie and Van mean to me. When I found out Billie was pregnant, I was surprised. When I found out it was with Van's baby, I was horrified. When I was present for their engagement, I was like a proud father. Today, I am even more proud of Billie than I have ever been. The first day my wife and I welcomed her into our family was a wonderful day. I just hope that the day she goes off to start her own family is just as memorable. We love you Billie." Bob said as his eyes shined with tears. "We like you too, Van." Ruby added getting a laugh from everyone in the crowd. Billie wiped her eyes and gave Bob and Ruby a hug. The party continued for a few more hours until Billie started to get tired. "Everyone, before we leave, I would like to propose a toast to my lovely wife." Van said. "A year ago, I never imagined my life would turn out like it has. You have blessed me, challenged me, accepted me and rooted for me like no one else ever has. But most of all you loved me. Wholly, totally and unconditionally. For that you have my respect, my admiration and my love. Forever and for always." Van said and kissed her, before giving her a sip from his glass. With that, the happy couple said their goodbyes and headed off to the Hotel Andalucia where they had booked the honeymoon suite for three days. The suite was done up in dark wood furniture and floral wallpaper. The four poster bed was a king size with matching floral bedding in a deep shade of burgundy. "This is beautiful!" Billie said, breathlessly when Van carried her over the threshold and sat her down on the floor softly. "It is. Just like you." Van said as he walked up behind her and kissed her neck from behind.

Yes, this is a quick update! Not sure when I'll be able to update again. The semester just started on Monday and its gonna be a busy one!

DKM: I'm so glad you liked the freak outs! I couldn't have them be married without a few nerves in there. I so hope you like this chapter as well. I had fun with it!

Unsigned: You guys rock! Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

Ch. 19 First Day as a Married Couple 

A/N: Don't own it, don't get pissed. R/R

The sun shone into the hotel room. Billie woke up first and just stared at the sleeping man next to her. Billie couldn't help but smile. Had they actually gotten married? She couldn't help but think it had all been some wonderful dream. She looked at her left hand and sure enough there was her engagement ring and the platinum 2.5 carat eternity band he'd given her yesterday. She slipped the ring off her finger and looked inside. Engraved on the band was the message: 1:4:3. That was a cryptogram she and Van had developed meaning, I love you. That way, when she was working with someone that didn't know about their relationship, he could text message her with that. She slipped the ring on her finger and picked up Van's hand. He was wearing the 5.5mm platinum band she'd given him. On the inside of his was the inscription "Van and Billie 2-14-05". Billie just laid there and watched the love of her life sleep as their baby kicked in her stomach.

Billie laid there and watched him sleep peacefully for about half an hour. Finally Van rolled over and the sun shone on his face waking him from his slumber. He stretched his arm across the bed as he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter to keep the offending light out. When he stretched his arm out, it came to rest across Billie's stomach and feeling the baby kick prompted him to open one eye and look at her. "Hey you." She said quietly. "Hey, yourself." Van said, automatically going into flirtation mode. Billie chuckled as she took his face in her hands. "How's your lip feel?" she asked. "It hurts." Van said as he winced when she touched it. "Oh, let me kiss it better." She cooed as she placed a soft kiss on the swollen discolored area. "Better?" she asked. "A bit. Keep doing it and I might be one hundred percent in a couple hours though." Van said seductively as he kissed her.

Two hours later… 

Billie lay in Van's arms as he kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers over her upper arm lightly. "You're really incredible. Do you know that?" Van asked as he tilted her chin to look at him. Billie just smiled shyly and looked into his beautiful green eyes. "So are you." She said as he descended on her lips for a soul searching kiss. Suddenly, Billie pulled away. "You okay?" Van asked. "No, not really." Billie said as she quickly started to get up. "What's wrong? Is the baby okay?" Van asked sitting up just as quickly. "The baby's fine, but I have got to pee!" She said with a smile as she quickly went into the bathroom and closed the door. The last thing she heard before the door shut, was a hearty laugh coming from the bed. "Hey, you try getting kicked in the bladder and see if you can hold it!" She said with a laugh as she opened the door and walked over the closet to get her clothes. She gave Van a slight wave as she took the gray stretch trousers and pearl pink knit sweater out of the closet and headed into the bathroom. "I'm gonna get a shower." She said and closed the door behind her.

Twenty minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom. "I'm hungry, lets go get some breakfast." She said as she walked out of the door. To her surprise, Van was there on the bed, asleep. Billie leaned down to his ear and shouted "Van! Get the hell up!" Van jumped up with a start. "What?" he started. "Oh, you're up. You look nice." He said as he got out of bed. "Why aren't you dressed?" she said sharply. "I was waiting for you." He said in a smart tone, and immediately regretted it. "You were waiting for me? You knew I was getting ready and decided to go back to sleep? Why? You know I'm usually hungry first thing in the morning!" Billie said, on the verge of tears. "Of course you're hungry in the morning, you're always hungry. A damn bottomless pit." He said under his breath as he got his clothes and started to get dressed, but she heard him loud and clear. "So you're saying I'm fat? Is that it!" she yelled at him. "No, you aren't fat." Van said calmly, hoping to reason with her. "Then why the bottomless pit comment? If I'm not fat, then I better get some food before the baby and I starve." She smartly commented. "The two of you won't starve if you're an hour late on your eating schedule, believe me." Van shot back. "So I am fat! The baby won't starve because I have enough fat on me to feed a heard of cattle!" she screamed as she burst into tears. Van looked at his sobbing wife, bewildered for a moment at what the hell was happening before he spoke. "Calm down. You cant' feed a heard of cattle. However you aren't gonna starve in an hour. Let's be rational." He said sitting next to her on the bed. Billie's head jerked up and she glared at him through her tears. "Oh, so now I'm fat AND irrational!" she squealed as she burst into tears again. Van just sighed. After a moment, he decided not to say anything and just let her cry herself out. For the next half an hour, he sat on the bed with her as she alternately cried and yelled at him.

Finally, the got down to 311 for breakfast. Much to Van's surprise the place was pretty full for a Sunday morning. _"Oh god, please don't let her make a scene." _ He thought as the waiter seated the couple near a big stained glass window. The pair ordered coffee and picked up their menus. "This all looks so good." Van said dryly. "Yup." Billie agreed as she glanced over the menu. "Let's see, what won't make the bottomless pit fat today." She said as she shot Van a patronizing smile. Van had to use all his restraint to not smack her upside the head with his menu when he saw her expression. "Mood swing at 9 o'clock." He said with his own patronizing smile. "This is NOT a mood swing! This is how I feel, Donnie!" She snapped back, choking back tears. "Whoa, bitch alert!" Van said sarcastically. With that, Billie burst into tears, for the second time in an hour. "Oh, look what you did to her! She's not a bitch, she's pregnant! She can't help it! Her hormones are all out of whack and she's a bit more fragile than normal! This is how she feels, not some irrational mood swing!" a red haired, older lady shot at Van as she got up from her seat at the next table. "It's okay sweetie. You're not a bitch or fat. You can't help it. Soon enough, you'll be back to your normal self and have a wonderful little baby to show off. Just hang in there." The woman said and gave a still sobbing Billie a slight hug before she headed out the door. "See? She gets it! Why don't you!" Billie said to Van as he sat there in his seat, stunned by what had just occurred. He looked as if he had just gotten run over by a Mack truck, or hit with a wrecking ball. "Let's order." He grumbled as the waiter approached and Billie dried her tears.

Van ordered eggs benedict and Billie ordered a mushroom, bacon and cheddar omelet with a side of hash brown potatoes, whole wheat toast and a small fruit salad. The pair ate in silence. Occasionally Van would glance up at Billie to find her staring out the window. "You okay?" he asked, ready to fall all over himself apologizing if she said no. "Yeah, just thinking is all." She said, looking from the window to her half empty plate. "Thinking? What about?" Van asked, genuinely interested. "You love me, right?" She asked looking out the window again. Van rolled his eyes. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next and wanted to head off another hissy fit. "Right now, not so much." He answered tersely as he stared at her. Billie shot him a death glare and took a last bite of her hash browns. "I'm done." She said as she dropped her fork. Van looked up from his plate and shrugged. Billie sat there, her arms folder over her chest and openly pouted for the next ten minutes as Van quietly finished his meal.

Fifteen minutes later, the couple returned to their suite. Van wanted Billie to take it easy because she had been so active the previous day. When they got back, she climbed in the bed and turned on the television. Van went back downstairs and got her four flowers. One Bluebell, one Honeysuckle, one Orchid and, one Sunflower. He tied them up with two ribbons, one yellow and one pink. As he looked around the gift shop, he found a wall hanging with his favorite poem on it. The poem was "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. He picked up the pink hanging and headed to the checkout with his surprise.

A few minutes later, Van walked back into the hotel suite where Billie was still in bed, dozing. He hated to wake her up since she'd had such a busy day yesterday and an even longer night, but he really wanted to show her what he'd gotten her. As he was standing there, contemplating weather to wake his lovely bride up, Billie turned to him and opened her eyes. "You're back." She said sleepily. "Hi." He said quietly as he sat next to her on the edge of the bed. "What do you have?" she asked, sitting up to look in his face. "I was downstairs and found you a couple things." Van said as he brought the bag up to his lap. He pulled out the flowers first. "Oh, Van. They're beautiful!" Billie exclaimed. "Just like you." He said as he kissed her. "Each flower has a meaning as do the ribbons." He explained. "Oh really? What do they mean?" she asked with tears in her eyes. "The Bluebell means my love for you is everlasting. The Honeysuckle means I am devoted to you. The Orchid means you possess and refined beauty and are delicate. And the Sunflower means I adore you." Van explained as tears ran down her cheeks. "The yellow ribbon means peace and joy." He said after wiping away her tears with the back of his hand. "And the pink ribbon means unconditional love and devotion. I feel all that for you, and then some." He finished with a smile, tears in his own eyes at seeing how happy he'd made her. Billie wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." She whispered as she cried happily. "I love you too. You mean the world to me and I am so lucky to have you with me for the rest of my life." He said as a tear slid down his cheek. Billie reached up with her fingers and gently wiped it away. Van took her hand and kissed the fingertips softly. "Van?" she asked. "Yeah?" he answered quietly not letting go of her hand. "Can I ask you something. No games, no tantrums. I just want to know." She said shakily. "Sure, what is it?" Van asked getting serious. "Do you love me?" she blurted out after a moment of silence. _"Oh god. Not again."_ Van thought to himself but outwardly, he took a deep breath before he answered. "Of course I love you. I have loved you since the day we first met. I can't imagine my life without you in it. You are the reason I wake up in the morning." He answered honestly. "Why?" she asked looking up at him from her spot on his shoulder. "Excuse me?" he said giving her a skeptical look. "You heard me. Why do you love me?" she asked again sitting up and looking in his eyes. From what Van could see reflected in her sparkling blue eyes, he knew she was genuinely curious. "Okay, I love you because you are such a strong person. You aren't afraid to take care of yourself, but sometime you let me take care of you. I love you because when I hold your hands, I feel like I can protect you." He finished with a smile. Billie looked at him and smiled slightly before a couple tears slid down her cheeks. She had something on her mind, Van could tell. He held her face in his hands as his thumbs gently wiped away the tears. "Hey. What is all this about? Whatcha thinking?" He said softly. Billie composed herself and adverted her gaze from his before she answered. "I was just thinking how could you love me so much." She said quietly. "What? How could I not love you so much? You are absolutely wonderful and I am so lucky to have you." Van said as he gently got her to look at him again. "Really? Even after everything you still think I'm wonderful and you feel lucky?" She said as if she couldn't believe what she'd heard. "Of course I do! Why wouldn't I? I adore you!" Van said as he kissed her forehead lightly. With that, Billie burst into tears. "I'm sorry! I don't mean it." She sobbed. Van just looked at her, bewildered for a moment before he went on autopilot with her and started talking. "Shhh. It's okay. You're sorry for what?" He quietly said, shushing her. "I'm so sorry! I don't mean it! I've never wanted to hurt you!" She sobbed again. "You don't mean what? You've never hurt me. What's wrong? Tell me. Please?" he asked. "This pregnancy has been so hard and I get so frustrated. I have no one around who truly understands what its like. So I end up being mean to you! I'm so sorry!" she said, sobbing again at the end. "It's okay. You won't be like this forever. One day you'll be back to your usual self." Van said soothingly. "Oh, like that's so much better." She said flippantly. This served to lighten the mood and caused Van to smile that boyish smile she'd grown to love so much. "I don't know how you can still adore me after all the yelling, crying, pouting and public hissy fits I've thrown the past seven months. You must really be a gift from God to love me with all that." She said quietly looking down at her hands folded in her lap. "Okay, well I don't love all that. As a matter of fact, I could live without it quiet nicely. But its not the real you doing all that. Like you said, this pregnancy has been hard and you get frustrated not being able to do anything and no one who understands. But soon, the baby will be out and you'll go back to normal." Van said that last part with an exaggerated shudder, which made Billie laugh. "I love you." She said as she laid her head on his chest. "I love you too." Van said wrapping one arm around her shoulders and rubbing her stomach with his other hand. He looked at her to find her staring up at him with those intense clear blue eyes that he loved so much. "You know, you better enjoy this while you can." Van said with a hint if playfulness in his voice. "Oh, why is that?" she teased back. "Because once the baby is born, I'm never touching you again, now that I know you and pregnancy don't agree." He said with a glimmer in his eyes and a wry smile on his lips. "Yeah. Sure, Van. You have enough self restraint for that kind of commitment." She said laughingly.

"Well, we'll see. But that doesn't go into effect until your water breaks, so come here." He said pulling he up to meet his lips. Their lips met in a soft touch at first. Within moments, Van had deepened the kiss. He slowly laid back on the bed, with Billie in his arms. The couple continued to kiss for a few more minutes until Van pulled away. "I love you." He said looking down at her. "I love you too." Billie said with a smile as she tucked herself in the crook of Van's arm and laid her head on his chest. Within minutes, she'd dozed off, while Van played with her hair.

When Van finally opened his eyes, he noticed the light in the room was a bit dimmer than it was earlier. "What time is it?" he heard a sleepy voice next to him say. He looked down to notice that Billie was just now waking up too. "Um, it's four o'clock." He answered her as he looked at the clock by the bed. "Oh. We've been asleep, uh…six hours." She observed, snuggling against him a bit more. "Yeah. We should get up." He said lazily, pulling her closer to him. "Yup. I guess we should." She replied kissing his chest. "Okay, you get up first." Van said as he kissed the top of her head and traced circles over her back with his fingertips. Billie giggled when he traced a finger over her side. "What's so funny?" Van asked, mocking innocence, he knew full well she was ticklish there. "That tickles." She said sweetly. "What tickles?" He asked with a playful smile tugging at his lips. Billie just smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips before she said, "You know." "Oh this?" Van wryly said as he tickled her again, more intently this time. Billie squealed with laughter as he rolled her on her back and continued to tickle her. She tried to bat his hands away but she was laughing to hard to actually hit him. "Yes, that! Now stop it!" she finally gasped in between fits of laughter. "What's the magic word?" Van laughed as he continued his assault. "Now!" Billie laughed. "No, I don't think that's it." Van said jokingly as he captured both her hands with one of his to keep her from batting at him and continued to tickle her with the other hand as he placed a soft kiss on her neck. "Say it." He teased as she laughed so hard, tears were flowing down her cheeks. "Never!" she squealed as he got another ticklish spot on her torso near her lower back. Van released her hands and began to tickle her neck. That did it. "Uncle. Uncle!" she quickly conceded when he found her neck. "There, that's more like it." Van replied seductively as he descended on her lips for another make out session.

Two hours later… 

"You look really nice." Van commented as she stepped back into the bedroom in medium wash, straight leg jeans, white silky tank top with scoop neck and a black two button cotton blazer. "Thanks. So do you." She replied as she gave him an approving once over. Van wore dark wash jeans with a straight leg, long sleeved white cotton dress shirt and a khaki sport coat to top things off. "You ready?" she asked him. Van was so lost in thought that he didn't even hear her. "Van? You ready?" She asked again a little louder to yank him out of his thoughts. "Huh? Oh, yeah." Van said when her voice brought him back to reality. "You okay?" she asked him a puzzled look on her face. "I'm fine. Come here. Sit down, I have something for you." Van said getting up and going over to the side of the bed where he'd left the bag from earlier. "Oh what now? Haven't you spoiled me enough yet?" Billie asked as she took a seat next to him. "Not near enough." Van said and took a pink scroll out of the bag. He handed it to her as he continued. "I saw this today and it made me think of you. It's my favorite sonnet." Van said. Billie unrolled the paper as she looked at Van and smiled. "Oh, I love it! This is beautiful!" She said as she began to read it.

_How do I love thee_

_Let me count the ways_

_I love thee to the depth _

_And breadth _

_And height _

_My soul can reach,_

_When feeling out of sight._

_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace_

_I love thee to the level of every day's _

_Most quiet need,_

_By sun and candlelight._

_I love thee freely,_

_As men strive for Right;_

_I love thee purely,_

_As they turn from Praise._

_I love thee with the passion_

_Put to use in my old griefs,_

_And with my childhood's faith._

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

_With my lost saints._

_-I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life!_

_-and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death._

While Billie read, Van recited the poem from memory. By the time he was done, Billie was crying so much, tears completely clouded her vision. Van took the scroll out of her hands and sat it on the bedside table. Billie wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. "Thank you." She said quietly as she wiped a tear from her eye. "You're welcome." Van replied as he kissed her and ran his fingers through her loosely curled hair, which fell just below her shoulders. After a few minutes of resting against Van's chest, Billie spoke. "Where are we going tonight, anyway?' she asked sitting up. "It's a surprise." Van told her. "Well, can we go now? I'm getting hungry." Billie said with a laugh. Van just laughed and got up, pulling her with him and the two made their way to the restaurant.

Van had chosen The Meadows Restaurant and Bar as the place to pull off his little surprise. The quaint little restaurant was located right across from the Royal Scandinavian Inn, in Slovang, not far from Santa Barbara. It was a lovely night so Van and Billie decided to dine on the open patio. That particular night, there was a Jazz band playing. When Billie took her seat, Van told her he'd be right back. Billie watched him go over to the pianist and say something. The man smiled at Van and nodded when Van pointed to Billie. Within a moment, Van had returned. "What was that about?" She asked curiously. "You'll see." He said slyly. "Okay. Let's order. I'm hungry." She said slowly, still wondering what he was up to. For dinner the pair ordered the California Artichoke Dip with warm tortilla chips as a first course. Next they dined on the house salad with sun-dried cranberries, green apples, walnuts, crumbled Stilton and a raspberry vinaigrette. When it came time for the main course, Billie ordered the Macadamia Crusted Halibut, with shitake mushrooms, sweet corn relish and wasabi mashed potatoes. Van ordered Blackened Salmon, with shitake mushrooms, sweet corn relish and garlic mashed potatoes. "How is it?" He asked her after their meal arrived and she'd taken a bite. "It's really good. Here, have a taste." She said and cut off a bit of the fish to feed to him. "Mmm. That is good. Here, try this." Van said as he took off a bit of the salmon to let her try. "I like that!" Billie said laughing as she wiped off a spot on her chin where he'd dropped a mushroom. The pair continued to have idle chit chat for a few more minutes until it came time for dessert. For dessert, the two decided to split a piece of Tuxedo Truffle Cake. The cake consisted of a layer of dark chocolate and a layer of white chocolate mousse floating between three layers of marble cake. They also ordered chai latte's to finish off the meal.

Just as they were starting in on the cake, the pianist of the jazz band spoke. "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. It has been brought to my attention this evening that we have a pair of newlyweds among us." The man in the black fedora started. "What did you do?" Billie said looking at the satisfied smile on Van's face. "Keep listening." Was all Van said to her. "Van came up to me tonight and asked me if I would play a special song for him and his new bride, Billie. Well, I am more than happy to do that. Congratulations, you two! He said before he and the band began to play. The song Van had chosen was Luther Vandross' Here and Now.

_When I look in your eyes_

_There I see_

_Just what you mean to me_

_Here in my heart I believe_

_Your love is all I'll ever need_

_Holdin' you close through the night_

_I need you, yeah_

Van stood up and extended his hand to Billie. "May I?" he asked. She smiled up at him through her tears and took his hand. Van led her a little ways away from the table and took her in his arms. Slowly they began to sway to the music as Billie laid her head against Van's chest and continued to cry happy tears.

_I look in your eyes and there I see_

_What happiness really means_

_The love that we share makes life so sweet_

_Together we'll always be_

_This pledge of love feels so right_

_And, ooh, I need you_

Feeling his shirt getting damp, Van put his hand on her cheek and wiped away some tears with his thumb. He kissed the top of her head as he held her tightly. "This is another reason I love you." He whispered in her hair just loud enough for her to hear. Billie shed some more tears. "No one's ever cared enough to do this for me before." She said as she looked in his eyes.

_Here and now_

_I promise to love faithfully (faithfully)_

_You're all I need_

_Here and now_

_I vow to be one with thee (you and me), hey_

_Your love is all (I need) I need_

_Say, yeah, yeah…_

"Babe, this is just the beginning. I'm gonna do this until death do us part." Van said as he kissed her and let his lips linger on hers. "I don't just 'care about you. You are my best friend. When I look in your eyes I seem my past, present and future all in one. And ya know what?" He said as she continued to look up at him and cry softly. "What?" she whispered as his kissed her again. "It looks pretty damn good." Van said.

_When I look in your eyes, there I'll see_

_All that a love should really be_

_And I need you more and more each day_

_Nothin' can take your love away_

_More than I dare to dream_

_I need you_

"There is a scene in this movie, Jerry McGuire, where he and Dorothy are in the elevator. You've seen this right?" Van asked. "Of course I have. Ultimate chick flick, remember?" She joked. "Yeah, I remember." Van teased back thinking of the first time she'd made him watch it with her. "Well, remember in the elevator there is a couple and one of them is deaf and they are signing?" Van asked. "Yeah, I remember that. I'm surprised you remember it. I thought you were going into a coma by the time that part came on." Billie snickered, resting her head on his shoulder as they continued to dance. "Haha, very funny, Mrs. Ray." Van joked back. "Anyway, there was a part where Dorothy was translating what was said to Jerry and I thought one of the lines fit us very well." He explained. "Oh really? Which line?" Billie asked, not being able to pick out a particular line. "You complete me." Was all Van said.

_Here and now_

_I promise to love faithfully (faithfully)_

_You're all I need_

_Here and now_

_I promise to be one with thee (you and me), yeah_

_Your love is all I need_

Billie smiled as yet more tears slid down her cheeks and a sob escaped her lips. That was when Van took his arm from around her and framed her face with his hands as his thumbs wiped away her tears and he gently kissed her, before moving his hands to pull her into a gentle hug.

_(Starting here) Ooh, and I'm starting now_

_I believe (I believe in love), I believe_

_(Starting here) I'm starting right here_

_(Starting now) Right now because I believe in your love_

_So I'm glad to take the vow_

Billie felt as if this was the best dream she'd ever had. It seemed like not too long ago, her life was a mess and she had no one in the world that cared about her. Then she'd 'inherited' Van Ray from the LAPD and had put him to work at the Candy Store. Sure, it was true that his anger and rage had brought him into her sights in the first place. But it was his ability to blend in and gain the marks trust that kept him in her sights. Within a year it was his ability to gain her trust and treat her like a decent person that brought him into her bed.

_Here and now, oh_

_I promise to love faithfully (faithfully)_

_You're all I need_

_Here and now, yeah_

_I vow to be one with thee ( you and me), yeah_

_You're love is all I need_

Van couldn't believe the dramatic changes he'd made in his life in the past eighteen months. He remembered so clearly the day his partner Andre "Dre" Hayes was shot and killed in the line of duty. That was easily the worst day of his life up to that point. That awful day was also the first time he'd met Billie Chambers. Within five minutes of meeting her, he had figured out she wasn't a typical cop. No, she was smart and always prepared. As was evident when she pulled a bobby pin out of her hair for him to unlock his door with after he'd locked his keys inside. Within days, he'd been reassigned to the Candy Store and firmly placed under Billie's thumb for the rest of his natural life. It was then that he really knew she wasn't like every other commanding officer he'd ever taken orders from. Billie was a stubborn, moody, pain in the ass of a woman that wouldn't take no for answer. However, it wasn't long until he grew to tolerate Billie. Yes, he'd spend way too much time complaining to Deaq that she was a bitch, he'd even called her that once, but still he could stand her. At times she was actually pretty cool. Soon, being able to stand her, grew to actually liking her. It was when she was kidnapped that he knew she had wormed her way into his heart and set up house there. When they'd found her, she was immediately put into rehab and Van was there every day for twelve weeks to see her. His feelings just snowballed from there, and now here they were.

_I, hey…yeah… yeah…hey…_

_Uh, hey_

_I-I love is all I need_

_Ooh…ooh…yeah…_

_Yeah…yeah…hey…yeah…yeah…_

_Love is all I need_

_Ooh…ooh…_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_Oh_

_Hey…yeah_

_Hey…yeah…_

The song ended and Van gazed into Billie's eyes for a couple minutes before he kissed her. "Let's go home." He said. The couple left the restaurant, people congratulating them the whole way out. The manager had even given them the meal on the house. They got back to the hotel where they climbed into bed. After a few moments of kissing, they snuggled close together and drifted off to sleep. They drifted off, each thinking they were the luckiest person in the world to have the love of someone so incredible.

………………………………………………………………………………

Hey all, sorry it's taken so long to update. School has kind of kept me busy the past couple weeks!

DKM: Glad you liked the wedding! Yes, something tells me Hill's gonna get it! sing song voice Yup, most of the LAPD is there! Hopefully you'll be told what happened to him in the next chapter! I was gonna add that in this one, but I decided to focus solely on Van and Billie here.

Unsigned: Thanks for sticking with me! Sorry the update took so long!


	20. Chapter 20

Ch 20 One Month Later 

A/N I don't own. Don't get pissed. I don't need to explain, right? R/R!

It was now the end of March. Billie and Van had been married for six weeks and Billie was 8.5 months pregnant now. With only six weeks to go until the baby was born, she was beyond stressed out. They didn't have a lot for the baby yet. They had a changing pad, some receiving blankets, a pack of onesies and some diapers. "God, I don't even have a breast pump." She muttered as she looked around the tiny apartment at the various boxes that were strewn around, some full and others waiting to be filled. "What?" Van asked from the spot on the floor where he was taping up a box with the dishes. "Oh, nothing." She replied with a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair, messing up the loose ponytail she had made. "The baby can't come out until we get somewhere for her to sleep, stuff to wear, a way to feed her, a place for diaper changes, things to wash her with, oh and a seat to drive her around in. And that's just the basics to bring her home." Billie sighed as she leaned against the wall and wrapped her arms around her stomach so that she could lace her fingers at the bottom and take a little pressure off her bladder. "When did the baby become a girl again?" Van asked with a smile as he looked up at his very pregnant wife. "Oh, I'm sorry. I mean him. Don't want to offend your son by calling him a girl now do we?" She said with biting sarcasm.

Van stood up and walked over to her. "Look, I know you're stressed and tired of being pregnant. I'm stressed too, so let's just cut the sarcasm and be nice to each other okay?" Van sternly said. "How do you know I'm tired of being pregnant?" Billie shot back. _'Because I'm tired of you being pregnant, bitch." _ Van thought, but knew better than to verbalize it. "Oh, just a hunch, I guess." He said as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her lightly. Billie wrapped an arm around his waist as he hugged her and whispered, "You're such a liar." "What?" Van asked astonished that she'd picked up on that. "Never mind." She said as she smiled up at him. Deciding not to argue with her before he gave her a piece of his mind, Van just smiled back and placed a quick peck on her lips before heading back over to the boxes. While Van finished packing the boxes Billie sat down on the one chair they had left in the apartment. It was officially moving day and the movers had already taken the rest of there furniture over the new house and Van, Billie and Deaq were going to be over their this afternoon. Deaq had agreed to give Van a hand with arranging stuff since Billie had to take it even easier than she'd been. The last time they went to the doctor for a check up, her blood pressure had climbed back up to 140/65, so she was remanded to move as little as possible for the next six weeks. Even though she was supposed to be resting, keeping Billie still for any real period of time while conscious was pretty much impossible. "I'm thirsty. You want a drink?" Van asked her as he headed to the kitchen. "No. I want this bowling ball off my bladder." She muttered as soon as she thought he was out of ear shot. Van had heard the comment though as he opened the fridge. There were, two bottles of water, a beer and two cokes inside. Van stared for a minute and then grabbed both cokes, even though her really wanted a beer. He'd learned that drinking in front of Billie wasn't an option right now. As a matter of fact, reminding her of anything she wasn't allowed to do right now, was a bad idea. _"Oh my god. Hurry up and come out! I want my wife back dammit!"_ Van thought as he rounded the corner and gave his unhappy spouse a mock happy smile. "Don't patronize me." Billie snapped. "I'm not. I want the baby out as much as you do." Van said and secretly thought, _"If not more."_ "You just want it out so you can get laid." Billie commented dryly as she took the soda can from him. Van sat on the floor next to her and put his hand on her knee. "No I don't. Well, that's not the only reason." Van started. "See? You want sex. You admitted it." Billie interrupted before he could finish his thought. Van just growled at her and continued. "I really want the baby out because that's the only way your blood pressure will come down and stay there. That's the only way to assure my wife is healthy." Van said taking her hand and kissing the back of it. "Good answer." Billie said with a smile as she kissed the top of his head before she got up. "I'll be back….I hope." She groaned as she got up and waddled into the bathroom, leaving her husband on the floor smiling at her retreating form.

Early that afternoon, Billie and Van pulled into the driveway of their new Reseda, California home. The pair had decided to settle down in a nice suburb of Los Angeles County, away from the city and about half an hour away from the Candy Store where they worked. The home was a 4 bedroom, 2.75 bathroom, and stucco home in shell pink with Spanish tile roofing. The home had one bedroom on the main floor, hardwood flooring through out the house and a winding wooden staircase up to the second floor where the other three bedrooms, including the master bedroom where located. The kitchen was a spacious area with all new black, professional appliances, tan marble counter tops and a lighter colored marble linoleum on the floor. Billie had said that the kitchen was her favorite room of this house next to the spacious family room with its wood burning fire place, picture window, and recessed lighting in the ceiling. The exterior of the house boasted a two car garage, and huge oval swimming pool off the covered patio in back, and a hot tub off to the side of the pool. The beautiful back yard and its spacious landscaping were surrounded by a tall 6 foot privacy fence. The couple walked through the front door of the house, and into the foyer where you were immediately met with the sight of the stair case in front of you, a hall to the right off the stairs which contained the one bedroom, a bathroom and an entrance to the open family room, which was large enough to contain the informal dining room and not have both rooms crowded into one. Immediately to the left of the foyer was the formal living and dining rooms. The living room was smaller than the family room, really it was just a sitting room. And the dining area was right next to the staircase with a huge crystal chandelier over where the table would be.

"I hope we have enough furniture to put in this place." Van gasped when he looked at the large empty expanse of the structure. "We do." Billie said as she smiled at him over her shoulder. "We can put the dining room table over there." She said pointing to the spot under the chandelier. "I think a glass table would look fabulous under such a thing. Don't you?" She said as she looked back at Van who was still taking in his surroundings and seemed amazed that she was already in interior decorating mode. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Whatever you want dear." He answered absent mindedly. "We'll see if you still feel that way when I paint this whole room fuchsia." Billie giggled when she realized Van wasn't really paying attention to her. "Fuchsia?" Van croaked in horror before seeing the teasing smile on her face. "Surely, you jest." He said with a smirk of his own as he walked up to the base of the stairs and put his hand on the small of her back. "You should sit down." He said as he guided her to a black leather love seat that had been temporarily put in the living room by the movers.

Billie took a seat and Van sat next to her, putting her legs in his lap and started to rub her swelling ankles. "Thanks. My legs were stating to really ache." Billie sighed as she let her head fall against the back of the love seat as her eyes drifted shut. Van watched her sleep for a couple more minutes as he continued to rub her ankles and calves to try and calm the swelling as much as he could. In what seemed like all to short of a time lapse, the door bell chimed, rousing Billie and causing Van to groan. "I should probably get that, huh?" he asked her lazily as he lifted her legs off his lap and got up, softly replacing her legs, propping her feet on the opposite armrest of the seat. Van walked over the large wooden door and pulled the gold knob open. "Hey, Deaq." Van said as he backed up to let the taller man in. "Hey, Van. How's it going? Bright and sunny day?" Deaq asked. Van snickered quietly and shook his head in the negative. Sunny day were the code words they'd developed for 'is she being a bitch?' when Billie was around. "Hey Billie." Deaq said as he closed the door and headed to where she was at. "Hi Deaq." Billie mumbled as she pulled herself into a more upright position. "You look good. How are you feeling lately?" he gently asked as Van shot him the "oh damn" look. "I do not. I look like a beached whale and I feel like a pregnant wooly mammoth." Billie muttered. "You're hardly a whale." Van said as he sat on the armrest next to her. "Obviously, you need you're vision checked. I've gained thirty pounds and still have a month and a half to get bigger." Billie whined. "You'll lose the weight and be back to your usual active, fit self before you know it." Deaq said encouragingly. "Oh stop it, sister suck up." Billie said as she rolled her eyes at him dramatically. Deaq's jaw dropped and his eyes widened as he realized what she'd just called him. Deaq looked next to him at the form of his partner trying desperately to stifle his laughter at her comment and Deaq's reaction. Van tried unsuccessfully for a full minute to regain his composure before the dam burst and he let out a chuckle. Upon hearing this, Deaq reached for Van's rib cage and pinched him…HARD. "Owe! What the hell was that for?" Van whined like a pathetic injured animal. "You're a dick, you know that?" Deaq shot back. "What? It was…" Van started when he turned to face Billie and noticed her sitting their, her arms folded harshly across her swollen chest, staring daggers into him as she drummed her pristine pink fingernails on her arm. "Well, uh, we're gonna…just…go, and uh, unpack." Van said to her as he grabbed Deaq's arm and quickly backed away from a very angry Billie.

Two hours later… 

"Honey!" Van yelled as he walked back into the living room from the garage to where Billie was sitting reading a magazine. "Yeah?" Came her preoccupied reply. "When did we get a piano?" Van asked her as Deaq came up beside them. "Oh, I've had that for a couple years in storage. Didn't I tell you about that?" She replied knowing full well she hadn't mentioned it before. "You know you never mentioned it." Van shot back as he glared at her. Billie shrugged and smiled innocently in reply. "Well, I play piano." Van revealed to hopefully wipe the expression off her face. "Yeah? Since when?" She coolly replied. "Since I was nine years old and my folks decided I needed to have at least one normal hobby." He explained. "You any good?" she asked. Van could see the wheels turning already. "I know a few songs." Van said slowly wondering what she was thinking. "You know, V, I sing. Maybe we could do an amateur night one day." Deaq said with a sly smile. "What songs do you know how to play?" He continued while grinning at Billie. "For Once In My Life. You know that don't you?" "HA!" Came Billie's sudden reaction as soon as the words were out of Van's mouth. Van couldn't help but laugh at her response. Ever since he'd told her about that 'incident', as Deaq liked to call it, he'd just been waiting for her to let on to Deaq that she knew all about the embarrassment, and it had finally happened. For his part, Deaq just glared at Billie and then turned on Van when he laughed too. "Fuck off!" He snapped at him and walked into the family room to continue unpacking.

The sun had set several hours earlier when the trio was finally done, with the major unpacking and moving of furniture. The three had ordered Chinese for dinner and sat around talking and laughing. Granted, Billie and Van laughed a lot more than Deaq did, but they all still had fun. When it was finally time for Deaq to go home, he leaned down, gave Billie a quick hug and walked out the door with Van following. "Well, I'm so glad that my embarrassment can give you two a little comic relief." Deaq said sarcastically. "Hey, she needs it. She's miserable right now. Besides, you're supporting a worthy cause by letting her have fun with your misfortune." Van replied with a huge smile. "Oh yeah? And just what is this 'worthy cause', Van?" Deaq questioned skeptically. "Me!" Van spat out with a laugh. "Jerk wad." Deaq muttered and got in his car to leave. "Bye!" Van chirped, prompting Deaq to give him the finger before he drove away, and Van went back inside.

When Van returned, he noticed Billie was no longer in the living room. "Where'd you go?" he called as he closed the door. "Up here!" she answered from the top floor. Van ran up the steps two at a time to see where she was at. He turned left at the landing of the stairs and followed her voice to their bedroom where he thought it was coming from. As he passed the room next to theirs, however, he saw her standing, looking around. "You should be resting. Remember your condition." Van said as he walked into the room. "I'm pregnant. Not ill." She said dryly as she looked thoughtfully around the room. "I know." He said with a chuckle as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her non existent waist and kissed her shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" Van asked noticing that she'd been quiet for the last couple minutes and the thoughtful expression on her face. "The crib should go there." She said pointing to the wall adjacent to the door. "And the rocker should go here." She said taking his hand and leading him to one of the square windows on the same wall as the crib. "And the changer should go there." She said pointing to a spot on the opposite wall by the window. "Wow. You've got this all figured out don't you?" Van asked with a smile. "Yeah. The only thing I haven't decided is how all of it's gonna get done. Captain Parish has you working all the time lately and you aren't home much." She said pouting. "Tell you what, I'll ask him for Friday off and we'll do the shopping for the baby. Sound good?" Van asked hugging her and kissing her, replacing the pout with a smile. "Yeah, I like that." She said. "Good. Come on. I have something I want to show you." Van said taking her hand and leading her out the door.

When they got back downstairs, Van led her over to the piano and took a seat on the bench. "What are you doing?" she asked. Van just patted the bench next to him, "Here, sit." He said and she did. "I just wanted to show you a thing or two that I can do on the piano." Van said as he fingered the keys. Billie smiled shyly at him as he began to play. It didn't take her long to recognize the song, it was Edwin McCain's "I'll Be." "I love this song." She cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I know, you told me once." Van said as he kissed her cheek. "And you remembered." She observed as he started to sing the first verse.

The strands in your eyes 

_That color them wonderful_

_Stop me and steal my breath_

_Emeralds from mountains_

_Thrust towards the sky_

_Never revealing their depth_

Billie smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. Van continued to play and sing as she cuddled next to him.

Tell me that we belong together 

_Dress it up with the trappings of love_

_I'll be captivated,_

_I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows_

_Of heartache that hang from above_

_I'll be your cryin shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

Van could feel the hot tears fall from her eyes as he sang the song. The more he sang, the more he realized the song fit perfectly how he felt about Billie.

Rain falls angry on the tin roof 

_As we lie awake in my bed_

_You're my survival _

_You're my living proof_

_My love is alive and not dead_

Billie thought back immediately to the first time they'd slept together. What a rotten day that had started out to be and just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, here came Van, her knight on a white horse, to take care of her and protect her. She truly believed that if it hadn't been for his patience and love with and for her, she really would have killed herself that day, believing that she didn't deserve to be loved by someone like Van when she couldn't love him back.

_Tell me that we belong together_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love_

_I'll be captivated_

_I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows_

_Of heartache that hang from above_

_I'll be your cryin shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

As Van continued the song, he looked down at his crying wife and softly kissed her on the head. As the song said, he truly was her number one fan.

_I've dropped out_

_Burned up_

_Fought my way back from the dead_

_Tuned in_

_Turned on_

_Remembered the things that you said_

Billie remembered when she first felt that Van actually cared about her. It was when she had been kidnapped by Gabby and gotten juiced up again. Van and Deaq had both dropped their lives to find her. But it was Van who'd risked life and limb to get to her. He and Deaq had gotten into a shoot out with Gabby when they found where Billie was being held Van rushed in to save Billie's life when Gabby threatened to kill her. He'd taken a bullet in the left shoulder before Deaq shot Gabby and he could get to Billie. It was a couple days later when she really became lucid again and the first person she remembered seeing, was Van. She'd been put through twelve weeks of rehab and Van was their every day at visiting hours to see how she was doing. It was his strength that kept her going and gave her the courage to get clean again.

_I'll be your cryin shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

_I'll be your cryin shoulder_

_I'll be love suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

Van finished the song and looked down at Billie. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her lips in for a soulful kiss. "I love you so much." She whispered when he pulled away. "I love you too. My life makes so much more sense with you in it." He whispered as he got up off the bench, lifting her with him. Billie sobbed and smiled at him. "Come on, let's go to bed." He said as they walked up the stairs arm in arm to enjoy the first night in their first home.


	21. Chapter 21

Ch 21 Paint the town Magenta 

A/N: I don't own it. This is old hat to everyone, right? We're getting so close to the end here! I'm so excited, yet so sad!

Friday morning rolled around in a flash. The previous week had been so busy with Van and Billie getting situated into their new home that the days just seemed to fly by. When Wednesday night came around, Van still hadn't asked for Friday off, on the pretense that he didn't want to leave Deaq hanging, so Billie picked up the phone and called her boss. He'd said Van could have that day off seeing as how it was getting so close to time for the baby to arrive. "You know, it seems like you'd rather spend your time playing cops and robbers than preparing for your first child and spending a few last alone moments with just me." Billie guilt tripped, once she'd gotten off the phone with Bob. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you just married me because you got me pregnant and Bob threatened to have you castrated with a butter knife if you didn't. Not because you actually love me and want to be with me for all eternity." She continued, her voice cracking at the end as she fingered a blue dish cloth.

Van stared at her for a few moments, as if he was trying to figure out if she was serious or just messing with his head. As soon as he saw the tears begin to conveniently well up in her eyes, he quickly became preoccupied with the marble counter of the kitchen. _"Damn husband guilt."_ He thought before he looked up at her. "Sweetheart, I know I've been preoccupied. I'm sorry if I seem to have been neglecting you. It's just that my life has changed a whole lot in a short period of time and when the baby gets here, it will change even more." Van explained as he took her chin in his hand and tilted her face to look in his eyes. "What? You don't think my life has changed a lot too? When the baby gets here, things will never be the same again. Sure, life will get back to normal, but it will be a different kind of normal." She said as a tear slid down her cheek. "The baby is going to be born and I'll become the human lunch cart. Our conversations will revolve around what kind of diapers to buy and when we can get a sitter. When we have alone time, the baby will cry to be fed or changed. Our lives are never going to be the same and you want to spend all your time with Deaq instead of me!" she said, wailing at the end as she fully burst into tears. Van just stared at her in shock for a moment_. "Damn, she's good at this. She's really good at this, especially for someone who's mom died when she was only seven!"_ Van thought, he also quickly surmised that her mom was probably good at it too and thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have to deal with a mother in law that was this good at guilt as well as her pregnant daughter. Van pulled her into a hug and gently kissed her head as he shushed her and promised to spend more time with her instead of Deaq.

When Van saw the tears in her eyes and quickly turned towards the counter, Billie thought _"Man. This actually DOES work!"_ And she decided to amp it up a notch. Before she could do it though, Van chimed in with his apology. And that apology is what fed Billie her next line. That is when she just decided to wing it and go all hysterical on him to see what his reaction would be. Just as she'd hoped, Van tripped all over himself making promises he didn't intend to keep, in order to stop her crying. _"Pigeon."_ She thought with a smile, as she snuggled into his chest and sighed contentedly. _"Great. I guess the next month of my life is going to be a roller coaster ride with Sybil at the switch."_ Van thought when he picked up on the immediate change in her mood and saw the smile to confirm his suspicion.

The next morning, Van awoke at about 7:30. He stretched his arm out over the bed and noticed that the spot next to him was empty. He opened his eyes and saw that Billie was indeed not in the bed. "Billie!" he called as he sat up to go look for her. "What?" came the reply from the adjoining bathroom. Van hadn't even noticed that the light was on in there. "You okay?" he asked. "Yeah, just couldn't get comfortable so I got up and took a shower." She said as she walked out of the bathroom. She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss, before straightening and looking him square in the eye and asking, "Van, do you think I'm pretty?" Van stared at her, not sure if he'd actually heard her right or not. _"It's entirely too early for this."_ He thought before he proceeded with his answer. "Be honest." She chimed in before he could even get the first syllable out of his mouth. "Of course I do. Look at you, you are positively glowing these days." He said, deciding that was a safe way to respond. "So I wasn't glowing before I got pregnant? I was dull and lifeless?" She read into his response. "No, you weren't dull before. You glowed even then, it's just that you seem…happier some how now." Van said trying to give the best answer he could to keep her from going into nuclear hissy fit mode. "So you think I'm happier now? What in the world would make you think that! I've turned into humpty dumpty on bed rest

Van! How the hell is that supposed to make me happy!" She yelled, launching into a hissy fit, right on cue. As awful as it was to be on the receiving end of her hormones right now, Van couldn't help but find it slightly amusing how easy she went from loving wife to raving lunatic in less than six seconds flat. Van just had to look at the edge of the periwinkle and rose stripped comforter as he laughed quietly. He thought he had been able to laugh without her noticing until her hand connected firmly with the back of his head in a loud whack. "Owe! Are you out of your fucking mind? What the hell was that for!" Van yelled as he put his hand up to the part of his head where he was certain she'd cracked his skull. "Its not funny! This is how I feel!" She yelled as tears streamed down her face. "But it's not rational! And that makes it sort of funny!" Van defended as he put his serious face back on again. "I'm pregnant and hormonal! I'm not supposed to be rational! And you're my husband! You're supposed to make me feel better, not laugh at me!" She yelled as she got up and knocked a book off the bedside table to emphasize her anger. "Whoa. Okay, this is a personality I've never met before." Van said as he got out of bed. "What?" She snapped as she wheeled around to face him. "Nothing." He quickly said as he put his hands up in surrender. "A personality you haven't met before! Is that what you said!" She hollered getting in his face. "I…I…just meant that this kind of emotional outburst isn't at all like you. It's almost like you've been possessed." He finished and prayed she'd back off a bit. "Possessed? You think I'm a possessed lunatic! I am NOT possessed! And I am most certainly not a multiple personality!" She hollered as she collapsed on the bed and began to sob for no particular reason.

Sitting next to her, Van decided to do the only thing he hadn't tried yet: shut the hell up and let her tantrum, like any good dog. Over the next hour, she slowly started to calm down, eventually to the point she'd let Van put his hand over hers. Ninety minutes after her nuclear melt down had begun, she finally stopped sobbing and spoke for the first time. "I'm hungry. Why don't you get dressed and we can go get some waffles before we hit the stores." She said with a sniffle and a smile. _"If I had a tantrum like that, I'd be hungry too!"_ Van thought. Instead of voicing his snarky opinion, he lightly kissed her on the forehead as he got up and went to change into a well worn pair of 501's and a white tee shirt with the green Margaritaville logo on the chest. Billie had chosen a white pair of yoga pants and a yellow maternity halter top with the words "I love my cabana boy" on the front and a pink heart with a white martini glass in the middle right at the top of her stomach. She'd put her hair up in a half pony tail and had curled the part that was left down. "Classy shirt." Van said as he walked into the kitchen where she was making two cups of coffee for the both of them. "Well, yours doesn't exactly scream "I have a wife and am about to be a father." She teased as she brought his coffee over to the breakfast bar. "Wait a minute." He said when she sat the cup down and started to walk away. "What's wrong?" she asked, walking back over to him. "You're hair. Something is missing." Van said as he took her face in his hands and studied her intently for a moment. "Ah." He said as she took a finger and slowly pulled a couple strands out from the ponytail to frame her face softly. "Better?" she asked with a giggle. Van certainly wasn't an expert on doing a woman's hair, but he did know what he liked to look at, and she trusted him to make sure that whatever he did with her hair or clothes, he liked to look at it. "Not quite. Something is still missing, but I can't quiet put my finger on it." He said thoughtfully as he studied her face and stroked one soft cheek with his thumb. "Ah. Now I know what it is." Van said after a moment of contemplation. Billie looked at him in expectation of his conclusion when his lips descended on hers for a tender kiss full of the respect and love he felt for his wife. When Van finally pulled away ten seconds later, Billie blushed. "Ten second rule, remember?" he said smiling down at her. Billie smiled at her handsome husband as she looked deep into his eyes. When she looked into the bright green orbs she saw all the love she'd always thought she never deserved being given to her, freely and completely. "And a thirty second hug." She said as she wrapped her arms around his waist and nestled her head under his chin.

A full minute later, the pair pulled apart. "Wow, that estrogen must be powerful stuff." Van joked as he took her hand in his and began to play with her fingers. "Why do you say that?" Billie asked with a slight scowl on her face. "Because an hour and a half ago, you were ready to be put in a padded room and now you are standing here, smiling and genuinely happy; not putting on some fake smile for appearances. I like seeing you happy. It makes me feel like I'm being a good husband." Van said as he leaned back against the counter. Billie looked down at the floor for a minute, in contemplation, then looked up at Van through her eye lashes. "You are a good husband. The best really. I couldn't ask for a more kind, loving, genuine, gentle, respectful person to spend my life and raise my children with." She said with a shy smile. "I'm glad you feel that way, because I can't imagine anyone but you mothering what is hopefully the first of several children for us. And I don't even want to fathom the possibility of a life without you in it. Just the idea of not having you cuddled safely in my arms when I go to sleep, and not seeing your beautiful face when I wake up is more than I think I could handle." Van said sincerely, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing each one tenderly before placing another soft kiss on her lips. "Shall we go get breakfast now?" he asked, showing her to the door leading into the garage. "Lead the way honey." She said and Van took her hand as he headed to the garage and the black 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS they had that weekend.

The two started off the day by going to Denny's and waffles and eggs for breakfast, and, of course more coffee. By eleven they had made their way to Babies R' Us to shop for the nursery necessities. The first item on their list of things to buy was the crib bedding set. "Hey, this is nice." Van said picking up a Thomas the Train bedding set in dark blue. "It's awful boyish, don't ya think?" Billie said as she looked around for something a bit more neutral. "What's wrong with boyish?" Van asked with a grin. "Nothing, so long as we don't have a girl!" Billie replied with a snicker. She knew very well that Van had no clue what the hell to do with a girl. He was an only child and the thought of having a daughter freaked him out, more than he'd ever admit. "We could raise her to be a tom boy." Van remarked at he put the set back on the shelf. Billie just glared at him and rolled her eyes as she kept walking. "What? I have no problem with a girl. A daughter would be nice to have." Van said jogging up to Billie's side. "Sure, Van. You keep telling yourself that and I'll keep knowing you want a son so bad it makes you sick." Billie giggled. "Hey, how about this one?" she said with a wide smile as she held up a pastel yellow Precious Moments crib set. "Hell no! Absolutely not! Put it back!" Van argued when he saw how girlie it was. "You said neutral so we're gonna do neutral, smart ass." He commented dryly as he walked past her. Billie snickered as she put the item back and walked on. A couple minutes later the two stopped in front of a vintage Winnie the Pooh Flutter Bee crib set. "It's perfect." Billie said when she saw it. "Yeah, I like it." Van said not too convincingly. "Oh come on. Its not to gender specific and the colors aren't 'babyish'. See, we have red, sage and ecru. Very classic." She did her best to sell him on it. Van just stared at her. "Aw, come on! I want it! Please?" She said in a mix between begging and whining. "You should really sell cars for a living instead of being a cop, you know that?" Van asked as he picked up the set and put it in the cart. "Oh goodie!" Billie squealed happily as she bounced up and down and wrapped her arms around his neck for an enthusiastic hug. "Let's go, Pippi." Van said. He had a multitude of names for her and Pippi was one he used when she was overly excited about getting something she wanted.

Over the next hour the two got a few other small things they needed for the baby, including, some sleepers, a couple night gowns, and side snap tee shirts. They also had a few pairs of pants in a 3-6 month size since they didn't intend to use separates until the baby was bigger and actually only dirtied one item of clothing at a time. And seven pairs of white socks finished off the immediate clothes shopping. They had decided that once the baby was born, they could get more gender appropriate clothing, so they decided to focus on the nursery furniture. The crib was next on their list. As they inspected the first crib of the day, a very traditional, no frills dark stain crib. "Logan is a nice name, don't you think?" Billie asked as she looked at the hardware to raise and lower the railing. "What?" Van said, positive he hadn't heard her mention a name for the baby. Because of her past miscarriages, she was apprehensive about doing too much planning too far ahead of time. Van had actually come to accept that they'd be talking names when the baby was only minutes old. "Yeah, I like that. Logan Ray. Has a nice ring too it." Van said as he smiled over the crib at his wife. "What do you think of Charlotte? It was your mother's name. Might be a nice tribute to her grandmother, if it's a girl." Van said as he looked at the next crib in line. "Yeah, it was her name, but my grandmother was also very old fashioned. She believed in old fashioned names, possessions, music, movies, gender roles and names. If she knew I didn't go by my birth name and was a cop, she'd drop dead." Billie said with a smile. "What was her name?" Van asked, realizing he'd never learned what it was or much about the woman. "Felicity." Billie said as she walked over to the white sleigh style crib Van was next to. "This is pretty nice." She commented as she looked over it to see if the baby could get easy access to the latch that raised and lowered the railing. "Yeah, sturdy too. And the drawers under it to store extra sheets and stuff." Van said as he shook the side to see if it would rattle or anything. "I like it!" she finally proclaimed after another moment of looking. With that, they made arrangements to have that crib delivered the next week.

By now it was after noon and Billie was getting hungry….again. After a few minutes of discussion, Billie finally bullied, er, convinced Van to take her down the street to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch. They walked in and the wait staff, after getting a look at how pregnant Billie was, fussed over her and got them a seat at a window table almost immediately. The waiter, a tall, lanky kid in his early twenties brought their menus and took their drink orders. Within moments he had brought back one Raspberry Lemonade for Billie and a Tropical Iced Tea for Van. He left them alone to consider their order. "I'm glad we decided to come here. It's such a lovely atmosphere and the staff is so friendly." Billie said with a smile as she looked out the window at the busy street. "Yeah. Glad you made up my mind for me so quickly." Van said as he smiled at her, cockily. "Hey!" He yelled when Billie reached over the table and playfully pinched his arm. "If I never made up your mind for you, you would never take me anywhere nice." Billie said mock pouting. "I take you nice places!" Van argued knowing damn well that wasn't really true. With one exception, every nice place they went was Billie's idea. "Oh really? Name two!" she slyly bribed. "Our first date. And in Santa Barbara for dinner that one night." Van answered with a smug smile. "Okay, first our first date was my idea, remember? When you found out you had to wear a tie, you almost had a heart attack. And on our wedding weekend, that was pretty much mandatory. You can't take your pregnant wife to Hooters the day after your wedding." She shot back. _"Damn. How does she know all this? "_ Van thought. "Why not? Is it a law?" he shot back instead as a response to her last statement. "Yeah, its called the 'oh shit. I really don't like sleeping alone after all clause." Billie answered with a smile and opened her menu to signal the end of the conversation.

As the conversation was over for the moment, the couple decided to go ahead and order before they moved on to other topics, like baby names and how Billie was going to have the baby. They started off the meal with a shared order of Crispy Taquitos. For lunch Billie ordered a Club Sandwich with fries and Van had a Meatloaf sandwich with Cole Slaw and fries. And for dessert, the pair shared a Black-Out Cheesecake. All it was, was a layer of chocolate, covered by a layer of chocolate, covered by a layer of dark chocolate and that was covered with nuts. "Oh, come on! That's too rich for any normal person!" Van protested when Billie suggested it for dessert. Oh quit your bitching." She shot back as he whined. "Your child is in need of a chocolate fix, now if you want to explain to her that she was deprived in the womb because her daddy is a big baby, that's fine with me, but don't make it look like I made the choice to neglect my kid." Billie said with an evil grin, knowing she'd just guilted him into doing what she wanted by playing the 'bad parent' card.

The waiter took the dessert order and left. Once the man was turned away from the table, Van surreptitiously gave Billie the finger. "Donovan Ray! How rude!" Billie said with a chuckle. "What in the world was that for anyway?" she said as she regained her composure. Van just stuck his tongue out at her, this time as the waiter returned with the dessert causing Billie to laugh. The young man, who Van and Billie learned was named Riley, sat the cheesecake down and smiled sympathetically at Van. "My girlfriend is pregnant too." He said to Van. "Really? Is she mean too?" Van said, laughing when Billie gave him a death glare. "I would never say that in front of her, even about another pregnant woman, but she does have her mood swings." Riley responded with a laugh when he saw the look on Billie's face. "So you know how I feel?" Van asked hopefully. "Yeah, I can understand but I'm sure Carla can understand how she feels." He replied looking over at Billie. "I'm so sorry, I don't believe I caught either of your names" he said to her apologetically. "Oh, I'm Billie and this is my husband, Van." She politely told him with a smile. "How long have you all been married?" he asked as he took in that "head over heels in love" look on Van's face when he looked at Billie, and decides they mustn't have gotten married too long ago. "We got married on Valentine's Day." Van said with a smile. "Well, congratulations! When is the baby due?" He asked as his boss waved for him to come talk to her. "Thank you, she's due, May 10th." Van answered. Riley told Van and Billie he'd love to get to know them better since he and Carla had only been in Los Angeles a couple months and didn't really know anyone. Billie said she'd really like that and wrote down their phone number along with her email address on a slip of paper for him, and he ran off to talk to his boss.

"Well, he seems like a nice guy." Van said as he and Billie watched their new friend walk away. "Yeah. You finally have someone on your side here." Billie said jokingly as she played with his fingers. "Everyone needs someone on their side." Van joked back. "Uhuh." Billie said with a smile. "Speaking of taking sides, what side are we on with the birth?" Van asked her getting serious. "What do you mean?" She said not really understanding what he meant. "I mean like when you have the baby? What do you want me to do during the labor? How should I support you? What kind of pain management do you want to use? Should I hold your hand when you get an epidural?" He shot his questions in rapid fire succession at her and took a large bite of his cheesecake once he was done. "Oh, yeah. About that. I, uh, was actually thinking; I don't want to use drugs for pain." She said hesitantly and then waited for him to ask her if she'd lost her mind. The question didn't happen right away however. When she said she wanted to labor without drugs, Van was in mid bite. When she finished was she was saying, he choked on his cheesecake in shock. Van coughed and gagged, trying to dislodge the food. When he finally did, his face was a deep shade of red and he had tears in his eyes. "Are you okay?" Billie asked alarmed. Van stared at her in shock as he continued to cough slightly and he tried to find his voice again. When he did, he blurted out, "What! Are you nuts!" he gasped in shock. "I'm not nuts. I just did my research and know that whatever drugs I take go to the baby through the placenta and I don't want that." She answered rationally. "What about with an epidural?" Van asked. It wasn't that he didn't think that Billie could handle the pain of labor, rather, he wasn't sure if he could handle how she chose to handle the pain. Van didn't want to find himself in the midst of her drug free labor, contemplating jumping out of the 4th story window of St. Vincent's hospitals maternity ward. "Have you ever seen an epidural needle Van?" She replied as she drank the rest of her lemonade. "No. Have you?" he said back a bit sheepishly since she apparently had or she never would have asked him that. "Yes, I have. I can't work so I watch the baby programs on Discovery Health Channel now." Those things are HUGE and they go in your spine!" She said, as she showed with her fingers how long the needle was for added emphasis to what she was telling him.

"What a minute. Are you telling me you're afraid of a needle?" Van chuckled. "So what if I am?" she shot back. "You're a heroine addict." Van said in a hushed tone, so the people behind him didn't hear the comment. "I know. Do you have a point to that?" she responded coldly. "Yeah. Let me see if I have this right. You have no problem injecting yourself with an illegal substance to get high. However, the thought of getting injected with a legitimate drug for pain freaks you out?" he said thoughtfully. That's exactly what I'm saying. What's your point?" She shot back seeing that he was taking this somewhere she didn't want to go. "My point is that, you're being a big baby! Its one needle Billie! Don't be such a whiner!" Van said laughing. "I'm not being a baby. There is a huge difference between the two!" she said, getting irritated that he found so much joy in this. "Oh really? Well, I'd love to hear what the difference is." Van challenged as he sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for her answer. "The difference, you baboon, is that with heroine, I am injecting myself and looking at it. With an epidural, I have a total stranger at my back, putting a large needle near my spine and I can't watch!" She shot back, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for his answer. Van stared at her for a moment in silence. "Well?" she said getting annoyed that he hadn't said anything yet. Van continued to look at her as a smile slowly crept on his lips. He began to tremble slightly as the smile grew into a full blown grin. Soon after a slight chuckle escaped his lips. The chuckle turned into a soft laugh. The soft laugh turned into a full blown guffaw, complete with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh my god! You're a needle phobic!" He gasped in between fits of laughter. "Don't be such a jackass." Billie muttered as she stared at her husband, venom present in her voice. "I'm sorry, baby. It's just that…it's well… it's funny!" he said, bursting again as he saw her eyes narrow and glare at him. "Can we leave now? I want to finish this shopping and go home to get the hell away from you." She spat back at him. Van paid the bill and the pair got up and went to the car to go back to the store.

Ten minutes later, Van and Billie were walking from the car across the parking lot to the store. Billie walked just an arms length away from Van, her arms crossed and head down. Van could very clearly see the scowl on her face. The fact that she was being so childish about such a thing, gave Van the urge to laugh even more. Despite this urge, he knew better than to keep laughing at her. As they walked, Van reached over and brushed his fingertips over her elbow. Billie jerked her arm away as if she'd been burned by something. "Oh come on Sassy. Don't be like that. Let's kiss and make up, okay?" Van cooed as he slowly got close to her until his arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her firmly against his side. "Why do you call me that?" Billie asked, leaning against him, her arms still folded. "Call you what?" Van asked, glad she was talking to him again. "Sassy." She replied looking at him for the first time since they'd left the restaurant. "Simple, really. I call you that because if you were a dog, you'd be a poodle since you're so sassy. So, sassy seems appropriate." Van explained looking down on her with a flirtatious smile. Billie looked at him as she let his words sink in. She couldn't help it. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist as she snickered quietly. "I'll pretend you mean that in the most loving way possible, and that you actually like poodles." She said as she rested her head against his chest as they reached the entrance of the expansive store. "Awesome." Came Van's reply as he kissed the top of her head.

Over the next hour, the pair bought a white sleigh style changing table with two shelves and a drawer for storage, a white Round-Back Glider with Ottoman, Hammock Bed and, a white, four drawer dresser. Next the pair headed over to look at car seats. Van wanted to get an infant seat since he'd read they were cheaper. Billie wanted to get a convertible seat since they could use it for longer than an infant seat. "What, isn't our child's safety more important to you than how long an item will get used?" Van guilted when she pointed out the Britax Marathon seat she'd researched. "Safety is very important but so is how much money we'll spend on car seats! That seat only holds the baby up to 25lbs. You should keep the baby facing the back until they weigh 20lbs at least, more if the seat accommodates it. This one, holds up to 65lbs and the baby can ride rear facing until she's 30lbs. That would be safer don't you think? Or does the prospect of her breaking her neck so you get what you want not matter to you?" Billie argued back. "Of course I care! It's my baby too! How the hell did you decide I don't care about the baby anyway? That's a huge leap from I want the safest seat to I don't care, don't you think? Dammit, Billie. Even Evil Kneivil couldn't make that leap!" Van snapped throwing his hands in the air in exasperassion. Billie just stared at him in surprise as she tried to figure out what to say next. It wasn't often that Van stunned her into silence, but when he did, it was a time for him to be proud. Seeing that she had no comeback, Van started to grin at her slightly, knowing he'd stumped her good. "You have balls Van." Billie finally said calmly. She turned around and started to walk off, pouting. "I just hope they don't get cut off in your sleep." She threw over her shoulder as she walked away. Van grumbled and picked up the box with the seat she wanted and put it in the cart as he hurried to catch up to his seething wife.

He caught back up to her in the next aisle looking at strollers. "Okay, we'll get it." Van said as he wheeled the cart next to her. Billie just looked at the box and kept walking. "What's next?" Van asked, ignoring her still pissy mood. "The stroller." She answered simply as she looked at the display. "Okay, well, we need one with a safety harness." Van started looking at the strollers. "And something that reclines all the way for an infant." Billie added. "Well, that rules out half of these." Van commented as he read tags. "Yeah. A five point harness would be best, too. I think." She filled in narrowing their choices down even farther. "Ooh. This one is cool!" Van exclaimed as he pointed to a red stroller. "Its nice. Kinda light though." Billie said as she shook it a bit to see if it could be easily moved. "That's because its aluminum. The thing only weighs 12lbs." Van told her. "And it's an umbrella fold. I'm not too sure." Billie said. "Oh come on. It's nice! The foot rest is adjustable. It has all wheel suspension too!" Van explained, getting excited over it. Billie looked at him quizzically when he mentioned suspension. "You won't wake the baby up when you push it off the pavement." Van filled in, when he saw that questioning look on her face. "Oh, and look at this. It has a tray for your phone, keys and your coffee." Van said, knowing he'd sold her when he pointed out the drink tray. "A drink tray? Really?" Billie said immediately taking a renewed interest in the red stroller Van was pitching. "Yeah. Nice huh? So, can we have it?" He asked, getting antsy for her to say something either way. "Well," Billie started, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Oh come on!" Van said again. "Well…" she said, still thinking. "Please?" Van practically begged. "Okay." Billie agreed getting a kick out of making him beg in public. Van excitedly wrapped his arms around her in an enthusiastic hug. "Oh great! Thanks, honey! You'll love it! It's gonna handle like a dream, you'll see." Van babbled excitedly. "Okay, okay. Calm down Sparky. I said we could get the stroller, not a Ferrari." Billie said and laughed when she saw Van's face at the name 'Sparky'. "Cute." He said as he glared at her. Billie smiled a patronizing smile at her overly hyper husband and kept walking.

In the next hour, they finished up the shopping by getting a swing, baby seat, pack and play and the diaper bag. The first three items were easy to buy. They seemed to agree on what they wanted, no problem, but when it came to the last one on their list, they didn't exactly see eye to eye. "I want this one!" Billie exclaimed as she happily trotted over to a bright fuchsia with orange and fluorescent pink striped messenger bag and held it up for Van to see. The look on his face about made her bust right there. He stopped in his tracks as the color drained from his face and his jaw dropped to the floor. "You don't like this? Okay, What about this one then?" she said with a wide smile as she picked up a pink cloth, Precious Moments diaper bag. She didn't think it was possible, but Van's complexion went even whiter at this. She could tell the bile was rising in his throat as he wiped the sweat off his palms onto his jeans. "You know, I really don't like this one. Let's keep looking." She said with an obvious chuckle as she put it back and walked a few more steps down. "Ooh, this is nice." She said picking up a brown vinyl coated backpack style bag with a basketball theme and the number '23' on it. "Oh, uh, yeah. Not bad." Van said, as he let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding for the last couple of minutes. When Billie saw this, she finally burst into a fit of laughter. "Shut up, Billie!" Van snapped as he glared down at her. After a couple minutes Billie regained her composure and was ready to seriously suggest a decent bag even she wouldn't mind carrying. She settled on a black nylon clam bag. "I like that!" Van exclaimed when she showed it to him. "Good, because this is the bag." She told him as she took the bag and they made their way to check out.

An hour and a half later, the pair was home. Van had called Deaq to inform him that all the shopping was done and that this baby would be an only child, while Billie laughed. Van sneered at her and went to change into a comfortable pair of sweat pants and an old gray shirt before settling down to watch a little television before dinner. When he reemerged into the bedroom ten minutes later, Billie was curled up on the bed, fast asleep. Van smiled down on his sleeping wife as he softly called her name to rouse her. "Billie." Van said quietly. She just curled around her pillow a bit tighter and was back to being out cold again. Deciding she needed the rest, Van settled down on the bed next to her. He grabbed the remote off the table and turned on the television. For the next hour they stayed there, Van watching television with his arm around Billie, playing with her hair as she took a much needed nap.

……………………………………………………………………………….

DKM: Yeah, I liked writing that chapter too! No real drama whatsoever! And yes, its mandatory to embarrass Deaq with that whenever possible!

Simbagirl: So glad you've come aboard! I hope you like this chapter!

Everyone: You all rock! Enjoy!


	22. Chapter 22

Ch 22 Decisions, Decisions 

A/N: I don't own Fastlane or any principle characters, so you can just hang up on your lawyer right now.

"It's about fucking time." Van muttered angrily as he went to answer the door. With only seven days to go until Billie was due to give birth, the fact that the store had repeatedly pushed back the delivery of the nursery furniture, had irritated both of them to no end. "Is it the furniture?" Billie called from the family room when she heard Van greet someone at the door. "Yes it is! We have somewhere to put the baby! You can have her now!" Van called back as he directed the men up the stairs and to the room to put the furniture in. "Finally." She said to herself as she walked upstairs to see Van. "We can officially file an eviction notice now." She whispered in his ear as she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Van smiled as he turned around to hug his wife. "Why in the world did we have to get a house with so many stairs?" Billie asked as she sighed tiredly and rested against Van's chest. "Because you liked the chandelier." Van chuckled as he rubbed her lower back. "Funny. You know, there's a stage leaving in five minutes. You should be on it." Came her smart ass retort.

An hour later, the delivery men had left and there were boxes strewn all over the nursery. "Okay, now what?" Van asked. "Now you put all this together before I pop!" Billie laughed as she walked back up the stairs, a bag of popcorn in her hand. Van turned around and looked at her. "What are you doing up? You should be getting as much rest as you can." Van said as he took a handful of popcorn out of the bag. "Hey! Get your own!" Billie playfully shrieked as she slapped his hand. Van laughed at this and pulled her in for a kiss. As he kissed her, he felt a slight poke in his stomach. Another minute later, the kiss went on and there was a jab in his stomach. Billie giggled as she felt Van's kiss lighten a bit. A second later and another bump ensued. "Hey, stop that! We're busy!" Van said as he poked back at the originating spot of the poke with his finger. "Now you know how I feel." She said with a laugh. Soon after Van poked her stomach, he felt the baby's elbow poke back at him. "Wow. Cool!" he exclaimed as his face broke out in a wide smile. "See, she's playing with you already." Billie said, taking note of the expression on his face.

For the next twenty minutes, Van and Billie sat in the nursery, Billie planning where everything was supposed to go and Van playing with her stomach. "Keep poking me and the baby might decide it's a good time to come out and meet us." She joked as Van kept playing with the baby. "Yeah, we don't want that yet. She won't have anywhere to sleep." Van said. Billie laughed. "What?" Van asked, looking at her. "You just called the baby a she." Billie supplied as she made an attempt to get her laughter under control. "So what? You call her a she all the time." Van said as he looked at her like she was nuts. When Billie saw the look on his face, her weak attempt to stop laughing, crumbled and she finally bubbled over with glee. "Shut up." Van grumbled as he got up and started to unpackage the changing table. "I'm sorry honey, but I just know that you want a boy so bad it makes you sick." Billie said after a couple minutes when she had stopped laughing sufficiently enough to talk. Van glared at her and said,

"This looks complicated. I think I'll work on the stroller first." Van said as he got up and headed downstairs to the living room where the stroller was and Billie followed. Van took the stroller out of the box. When he took it out, the stroller was in several pieces. He decided to do what most men would never even consider; read the directions. He opened them up and looked at the diagrams and then the words. After a minute, he looked up at Billie who was watching him intently from the couch. "What the hell does all this mean?" He asked her. "I can't make heads or tails of it." Van said as Billie got up and walked over to him, looking over his shoulder she said, "It says, Para unir los echadores al cochecito, empalme del attatch en el centro de echadores con el tornillo provisto, usando el mazo de goma." She read with a snicker. "What the hell did you just say?" Van asked, looking at her oddly. "I said, try the English side." She told him with a sharp laugh. "Fucking show off." Van mumbled as he glared at her. Billie handed him the mallet and told him, "Attach the front casters to the spindles using a mallet to beat in the screws." She explained as she calmed down and handed him the mallet. "What are the front casters?" Van dumbly asked. "Wheels stupid. Front wheels." Billie spat out as she tossed one at his head. Van gave her the finger and mumbled. "Sassy. This is why I call you sassy." He aligned the front wheel and drew the mallet back. In one hard movement he brought the rubber piece down towards the screw and slammed it down firmly on his thumb instead. "Son of a bitch! Fuck! Dammit that hurt! Mother fucker!" He yelled as he jumped up and grabbed his thumb in his hand, tears welling up in his eyes. Van bit on his lip, hard to stop the steady stream of profanity that flew from his lips. "Oh fuck that hurt! I think I broke it!" he yelled when he couldn't bite his lip anymore.

As he yelled, Billie erupted into sharp shrieks of laughter. She fell back onto the couch as tears streamed down her face and she wrapped her arms around her stomach to keep the baby from flying out amid all the hysteria. "Dammit, Billie! This isn't funny!" Van yelled at her. "Y…y…you're right." Billie stammered as Van looked at her. "This is serious! It hurt!" he yelled back. "Yes. I know. It's not funny." Billie said, looking at the floor to hide the big grin on her face and the tears in her eyes. "Billie." Van snapped. "I know. Bad wife. Bad, bad wife. You could have really…hurt…yourself." She said, crumbling on the couch in laughter at the end as the hilarity of it all finally hit her again. "Don't you have something to do?" Van hissed at her. "No, just being your loving wife is my job." Billie replied sweetly. Van looked at her astonished. "Loving wife? Your job is to be my loving wife?" He questioned sharply. "Well, yeah." Billie said, having a good idea where this was going. "Then act like it!" Van snapped as he walked over to her. "What? I don't act like it already?" She innocently asked as she stood up to meet his eyes. "Billie, sometimes I could just strangle you!" Van said as he put his hands on her neck. "Go ahead. Strangle me." She said with a wide smile as she moved so the round bump of her stomach hit him. "Go do something!" Van snapped as he removed his hands from her neck. "Like what?" she asked, fully enjoying his irritation. "Shop online! I don't care!" Van yelled. Billie started to walk out of the room when she turned around a looked at him. "Can I use your credit card?" she asked with a smile. "Billie! Go!" Van hollered as he pointed in the direction of the living room. "Okay, geez." Billie snickered and walked out of the room before Van could change his mind and kill her.

Over the course of the next three hours, Van got the stroller, changing table and hammock put together. Occasionally Billie would leave her spot in front of the computer and his credit card to ask him if he needed any help or to bring him a drink and snack. While she was walking down the stairs the last time she heard the words "Sybil" and "Psychotic wife." Deciding that she'd get even with him later, she returned to the computer and played a couple games of Soduku. And hour later, she walked back up the stairs to see Van putting the crib together now. "Hey honey." She said, peeking into the nursery. "What?" Van asked not looking up from the rails he was screwing together. "I'm getting hungry. What do you want for dinner?" She said trying to get him to look at her. "Whatever you want is fine." He said, still not looking up from his work. _'Pay attention to me, dammit!'_ Billie thought as she looked at him. "Stir fry it is." She said and turned to go back downstairs. "Oh, I bought a Couture diaper bag today." She said with a smile as she turned and waited for his reaction. "You what!" Van yelled as the screw driver slipped off the head of the screw and scraped the skin off his palm. _'Aha! Now you're gonna pay attention to me.' _ Billie thought as she took a seat in the rocking chair. "I bought a diaper bag." Came her simple reply. "I just bought you a fucking diaper bag!" Van yelled. Yes, she was pregnant and he knew he shouldn't be stressing her out by yelling, but she didn't look all that stressed, and this was big. "I know. But I liked this one, so I bought it." She answered simply. "You bought this one because you liked it! I sat through, fuchsia, day-glow orange and Precious Moments pink for you to find one you liked and you go and do this because you wanted it! Why the hell didn't you just tell me you wanted some outrageously expensive bag, so I could yell then and get it over with?" Van continued to holler. Billie just snickered as she made three unsuccessful attempts to get out of the chair. "Help me." She said sweetly as she held her hands out for Van to pull her up. Van went over and yanked her out of the chair, before grunting something Billie couldn't make all out and turning around. The only word she could understand was "bitch". "Van." She said as she got ready to walk out of the room. "Now what?" he snapped at her. "I'm kidding, I didn't buy the bag." She said with a laugh as he wheeled around to glare at her and she headed downstairs.

Billie was downstairs setting the plates out when Van finally emerged form the nursery. "Smells good." He said as he shot her a slight smile. "It's almost ready. Can you get the ice?" she asked him as she sat out the glasses. "Sure." Came Van's reply as he took the glasses off the counter and kissed her on the cheek. As Van was filling the glasses, it happened. "Oh shit." Billie said. "What's oh shit?" Van asked. "That's not good." Billie said looking down at the floor. "What's not good?" Van asked, officially getting alarmed. "This can't be happening." Billie said looking at him. "What can't be happening? What the hell is wrong with you?" Van asked her. "I think my water just broke." Billie said in shock. "That's not funny." Came Van's retort. "You're right it's not. The baby's coming." Billie said, giving him a look that told him she was serious. "Oh shit." Was all Van said.

"Owe!" Billie said as she gripped her stomach five minutes later. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Van asked as he quickly rushed to her side. "No, I'm not okay. That hurt!" She shot back at him as she whacked his arm. "Okay, come on. Let's go have a baby!" Van said, soothingly as he helped her on with her sweater and led her out to the car. "Oh no, not again." Billie said as she got into the car. "It's okay, just hang in there and breathe." Van told her as he slipped into the drivers seat of the Mercedes. "Breathe? You expect me to breathe through this! Are you out of your fucking mind!" Billie shrieked thirty seconds later, once the contraction had subsided. Van chuckled to himself as he backed out of the driveway. "Just run the damn thing!" Billie snapped at him when he stopped at a red light a couple minutes later. _"Let the games begin."_ Van thought and took her hand in his.

Ten minutes later, the pair got to the hospital and signed in. The nurse hooked Billie up to a monitor and left the room. "We don't even have a name for a girl yet." Billie said getting anxious about the impending birth. "How about Lorelei? After your sister?" Van commented. "Lori. Shit." Billie grumbled at the mention of the name. "What? Are you two okay?" Van asked, concerned. "Yeah, she called me yesterday and I was gonna call her back after dinner since we didn't get to talk long before Tristen threw a shit fit." Billie explained with a smile at the thought of her nephew. When she had the baby, Lori was going to come out for a week with Jeremy and Tristen to help her out. "Well, under the circumstances, I'm pretty sure she'll understand." Van said with a smile at his wife. "Trinity?" Billie threw out the idea. "No. Nothing from the Matrix, please." Van said as he rolled his eyes. Billie chuckled. She and Van had the movie on DVD and Van had yet to sit through more than ten minutes of the movie. "You have serious issues, you know." Billie said once she'd stopped giggling. "And just how do you figure that, oh queen of mental health?" Van shot back with a scowl on his face. In retaliation, Billie threw a pillow at him and gave him the finger. "Well, dip shit, a normal person has the ability to lie in front of the television without moving and barely breathing for hours. You can't even be still in your sleep!" Billie retorted.

Just then, Dr. Robins came in. "I'm not interrupting am I?" She said with a smile having heard Billie's comment to Van. "No, not at all. I was just telling my husband how normal people function." Billie said with a smile and sideways glance at Van. "So I heard." She supplied as she looked at Van. "Well, we got the results on the amniotic fluid." She began. "Are Billie and the baby okay?" Van asked, his voice full of concern. "They're both fine. Billie's test for Group B Strep came back negative so there is no problem there. No need to give you an IV and antibiotics during labor." Dr. Robins explained. Van took notice of the visible relief on Billie's face and snickered. "Needle phobe." He whispered as he tried not to laugh out loud. "Shut up, Van." Billie hissed back. "However" the doctor continued having heard the whole exchange. "You're water didn't break." She finished and waited for a response. Van's head shot up as he looked at the doctor. "It didn't?" he and Billie asked simultaneously. "No, it didn't." She repeated. "Then what the hell happened?" Van asked, stumped as to what the leakage could have been. "Well, its not too uncommon when someone is 39 weeks pregnant to have a weak bladder. Sometimes the baby sits wrong, or kicks…"Dr. Vickie started. "Whoa. Wait a minute. Are you telling me she pissed herself!" Van asked in shock as his eyes popped and his jaw dropped at what was being said. He could feel the laughter getting ready to erupt if she said yes. Billie didn't find this near as funny as Van did. "That's what I'm saying." The doctor finished. Van just stared at her stone faced for a minute until he felt a grin creep on his lips. He looked down, his shaggy hair successfully hiding the growing smile from the doctor, but not his wife. Van's hand went up to his lips as he coughed, trying not to laugh. It didn't work. He felt the hot tears burning his eyes as he finally let out a hearty chuckle. Billie pinched his arm and Van looked up to see the murderous look in her eyes. This only served to make him break out into full blown hysterical laughter. As the laughter over took his body, Van slumped to the floor and was soon on his back, grabbing his ribs in a futile attempt to contain his laughter. He was sure he'd die right then and there as his body shook with laughter, his ribs hurt and hot tears streamed down his beet read face.

Billie and Dr. Robins watched the laughing idiot on the floor. Dr. Robins looked up at Billie and saw the look on her face and the pitcher in her hand. _"Oh boy. He's in for it."_ She thought as she looked back at Van. "It's not funny!" Billie growled at her husband on the floor. He stopped laughing enough to look up at her and just nod his head as if to say 'yes it is' before he crumpled on the floor in hysterics again. Billie glared at him and then launched the pitcher at his prone form, hitting him square in the head with a loud 'whack'. "Owe!" Van yelled at Billie as she and the doctor chuckled. "That's not funny! It hurt!" he squealed as he got up off the floor. "Good, you deserve it." Billie said with a satisfied smile on her face.

"It's not all bad news though." The tall, thin doctor said when the two had stopped staring daggers at each other. "It's not?" Billie asked finally ignoring Van and looking back at the doctor. "According to the monitoring, you are having real contractions. They just aren't strong or frequent enough to be classified as actual labor." The doctor explained. "What do you mean 'not strong enough'? How strong do they have to be? " She asked, the shock and disappointment clear in her voice. "Stronger than they are. And more frequent too." She answered. "Like break a door knob stronger?" Billie squeaked out. "Pretty much" the tall woman in the white coat said. "Who the hell died and made you God? That kind of pain is gonna get Van mortally wounded!" Billie practically shrieked. Van bust again at this new reaction, though he remained upright this time. "Shove off, Van!" Billie spat at him. This made Van laugh harder. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes again. In order to keep her from seeing them, he pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down as he continued to laugh. Billie had had more than enough of his laughter at her expense for one lifetime. She drew her fist back and punched him, square in the shoulder. "Owe! That's gonna leave a mark! Dammit, Billie. I was just having fun, not need to get hostile." Van said as he rubbed the spot where her fist had connected with his arm. "I've been on bed rest for the past eleven weeks. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and I'm tired. I can never sleep though because I feel like a beached whale and can't get comfortable. So, you'll have to excuse me if I'm just a wee bit pissy, okay!" Billie shouted as she started to cry. Dr. Robins went over and rubbed her patients shoulder gently to calm her down. "It's okay, Billie. This won't last forever. I have two kids, 7 and 9, believe me I know how hard the last few weeks are." She said soothingly. Billie looked up at the woman and wiped the tears from her eyes as she spoke. "I just don't want to be pregnant anymore and I don't know why!" She wailed as she started to sob again. "Shhh. It's okay. I understand. I can give you something to help you sleep if you like?" the doctor offered. "Thank you." Billie said. "Okay, I'm gonna go order something and have the nurse give it to you and then you can go home. I'll see you in my office on Monday. You'll be full term then and we can talk induction if necessary." She said soothingly. "Thanks." Billie replied softly.

An hour later, Van pulled the car into the garage. The doctor had ordered a shot for Billie which she got, and sent the two home. Billie, who had been dozing on the ride home, opened her eyes when the car turned off. "We're home. Come on, let's get you into bed." Van said as he opened her car door and helped her out. They walked up the drive and Van practically carried a barely conscious Billie up the stairs. She slipped into a pair of old sweats while Van turned down the covers. Having gotten changed, Billie climbed into bed without protest, and Van pulled the covers up under her chin. He kissed her on the forehead. "You go to sleep. I'm gonna go finish up some stuff in "things" room." Van said, referring to the baby. Billie smiled up at him sleepily and he got up to walk out of the room. "You don't have issues. You're wonderful." Billie mumbled as she drifted off to sleep. Van had heard her and smiled as he flipped off the life. "I love you." He said and went into the baby's room where he spent the next three hours putting things in place.

Okay, that's it for this chapter! I hope you all liked it!

DKM: And "needle gate" comes back to haunt Billie in this chapter too!

Simbagirl: Glad you are liking this! I hope you like this chapter as well!


	23. Chapter 23

Ch. 23 May 13th 

It was May 13th and Billie was still pregnant. She and Van had tried everything they had been told to get labor going. Even sex hadn't worked; not that Van had minded trying. Van remembered distinctly the last time they'd tried that. _"I'd feel more like doing this if I was falling out of an airplane, you know?"_ Billie had told him that rainy afternoon. Van chuckled when he remembered this and flipped through the channels one more time. Deciding there was nothing on, he clicked off the television and started to head for the stairs to find Billie and see what she was doing. Just as he got off the couch, Van heard her coming downstairs. "I figured it out." She said pointedly as she came face to face with him. "Figured what out?" Van asked looking at his obviously uncomfortable wife. "Why I haven't had the baby yet." She answered with her hands on her back. "Why is that?" he said with a smile. "Because I'm not pregnant. I'm just really fat and no one will tell me!" She whined. Van just smiled as he went to wrap her in a hug. Before he could though, he noticed the pink tank top she wore. On the front it had the words "Don't Mess With Me, I'm Disgruntled" written in blue with the last word in big, red letters. "Bad mood?" Van said with a chuckle as he hugged Billie. "If you'd been pregnant forever you wouldn't be happy either." Billie said with a smile as she placed a peck on his cheek. "Let's go do something today. Take your mind off all this." Van said as he grabbed his keys and led her towards the door. "Okay, do what?" She asked as she complacently followed. "It's a surprise." Van told her with a sly smile as they made it to the silver 1960 Bentley Flying Spur he was driving.

"What's wrong?" Van asked, noticing Billie's squirming in the seat as they were driving into downtown L.A. "It's such a beautiful day, I think we should walk. I'm pregnant you idiot! That's what's wrong!" Billie snapped. "A simple 'buzz off Van' would work just fine" he said under his breath. "I thought the shirt said that quite nicely, but you didn't take the hint." Billie retorted. "Monday, you get induced Monday. Don't go postal just yet." Van commented as he pulled into the parking lot of the Candy Store. "Don't make me hurt you Van." Billie said dryly as she got out of the car and headed into the warehouse. She opened the door and was immediately met with a blast of cool air. The coolness was a welcome change from the 83 degree weather they had in Los Angeles that day. She entered the building and immediately heard her name being called. Before she could even look around at who was there, a pair of arms flung excitedly around her neck. "I'm so happy to see you! You've been missed!" Deaq said as he let go of her. "Is he putting you to work, Deaq?" Billie said with a laugh as she greeted her employee and saw her boss walk up behind him. "Billie! It's good to see you! How are you? Where's Van?" He asked as he gave her a small hug. "You've spoiled both these boys. They act like a little paperwork is going to kill them!" He said, and Billie laughed. "We're not spoiled. She abuses us as a matter of fact, believe me." Van interjected as he entered the warehouse. Billie turned sharply and shot him that 'shut up or die' glare he knew so well. Deaq chuckled, but quickly became quiet when Billie turned that same glare on him. "So, Van, what happened to your head?" Deaq questioned on the large bruise that extended from Van's hairline to the bridge of his nose. "Oh, uh this. Yeah, it's just a little souvenir form our lat hospital visit." Van explained. "Really? What did you make her do to you?" Captain Parish asked with a smile. "I didn't MAKE her do anything. This hostility was on her own accord." Van said as he pointed to his forehead. "So she did do that! The question now, is how?" Deaq said thoughtfully as Billie snickered. "I laughed because she had a coronary when they told her that she wasn't in real labor yet. Apparently she didn't find it near as funny as I did." "Oh you poor beaten dog. She should be taken out back and shot immediately." Deaq cooed with a smirk. "Stop it!" Van snapped and walked away. "Jackass." He muttered as he got to one of his favorite cars. Deaq went to follow Van and Billie went to sit in her office with her boss.

"So, you're past due Van tells me." Bob said as he sat in a black chair, allowing Billie to take the seat in the big black chair behind the glass desk. Billie groaned as she sat back, making herself as comfortable as possible. "Yeah, this baby's never gonna come out." She complained. "Oh, it's just comfortable where it's at and will come out soon." Bob reassured her. "Or maybe it knows what kind of parent's it has and has thought it better to stay put." Billie commented dryly. "You two are gonna be great parents." Bob reassured her. "Yeah, if the baby ever comes out!" Billie said, rolling her eyes. "It will. You get induced on Monday, right?" He asked thoughtfully. "Yeah, so what?" Billie almost snarled. She had a headache and was in no mood to play twenty questions. "My point, grumpy, is that when you get induced the baby has to come out." He said sternly. "Do you have a name for it yet?" He said switching the topic. "Well, if its' a boy, he'll be Logan Matthew and a girl will be hey you." Billie answered as she finally settled her gaze on desk in front of her. "Why don't you go see what Van and Deaq are doing?" Bob suggested, not feeling like dealing with her bitchiness anymore today. He loved Billie, like one of his own, but more often than not, she was like handling a loaded gun. "Yeah, I think I'll do that." Billie said as she got up and walked out of the office.

Billie walked out of the office and saw Van standing against the rail of the upstairs lounge talking to Deaq. As she neared the top of the stairs, she heard Van telling Deaq about the argument they'd had the day before. "Okay, so I was ignoring her. So what? It was baseball!" Van defended his actions. "Your nine months pregnant wife is more important than a Chicago Cubs game, Van." Deaq scolded. Billie just stood where she was at and smiled as she inwardly thought, _"I'm glad someone sees this my way."_ "That's what she said." Van shot back. "Of course she did it hysterically with tears and language that would make a longshoreman blush. Oh did I mention that she accused me of not loving her and only marrying her because I wanted a piece of ass?" Van asked. Deaq chuckled at this. " So I asked her if she'd ever heard the Green Day song Basket case." Van continued. "No you didn't. Tell me you didn't say that!" Deaq said. "I did. And she said she had, did I have a point. I said, I did." Van explained. Deaq started to feel sick at this. He had a feeling he knew what Van's point was and more importantly, what Billie's reaction was, but he couldn't be sure unless he asked. "And what was your point?" Deaq finally asked. "My point was what the hell was the deal with her attitude problem lately!" Van said, his voice rising an octave when he said this. "And what happened?" Deaq said with a chuckle. "I very quickly found out what an attitude problem actually is." Van explained, making an exasperated motion with his hands. Deaq bust at this. He sank down to the floor as he laughed and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep Van from seeing the tears in his eyes.

"Deaq that's not funny! She was being a complete bitch and you know it!" Van yelled at his partner. "Oh come on Van, it was a regular riot. Right Deaq?" Billie said as she climbed up to the landing of the stairs. Deaq just looked up at Billie and nodded his head to agree with her. "Billie, you're a bitch." Van snapped at her. "I am not!" she shrieked at her husband. Upon hearing this, Deaq collapsed on the floor in the fetal position and laughed even harder. He was sure he'd die of suffocation as his ribs began to hurt, his lungs burned and tears streamed down his face. Both Van and Billie looked at him like he was some sort of mutant. "I am not a bitch! Am I Deaq?" She said while smiling at him with that dangerous, sweet smile he had come to know so well. Deaq immediately stopped laughing and his face took on the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm not. Tell him." Billie instructed. "Um, well I wouldn't call you a bitch exactly…" Deaq started. "Deaq! I'm not a bitch. Tell him. Go ahead, say it." Billie said, daring him to agree with Van. "Um, n…n…no. Not at all. You're the nicest person I know." Deaq said, convinced he'd choke on the last sentence. "See Van?" she sneered, knowing full well that she'd scared Deaq into saying the opposite of what he meant. "I'm getting tired. I'll go say bye to Bob so we can go home." Billie said with a smile and trotted downstairs. Van reached down and slapped Deaq upside the head. "What the hell is wrong with you!" he loudly hissed. "What?" Deaq asked defensively as he rubbed the back of his head. "She's not a bitch? She is so and you know it!" Van snapped. "I like my life Van. So when she asks me if she's a bitch, I'm gonna say no unless I want to die!" Deaq argued back. "Oh my god! You're afraid of her!" Van said as the realization hit him. "Terrified. And you should be, too." Deaq pointed out. "You're afraid of a girl!" Van said with a sharp laugh. "Van, are you ready yet? I'm hungry!" Billie called as she gave Deaq a wave and continued to head for the door. "Yeah, I'm ready!" Van called back and made his way downstairs. "You're a dick Van." Deaq called after him. Van turned around and waved at Deaq with a huge smile on his face. Deaq muttered under his breath and turned is attention to Billie. "Bye Billie!" he said with a smile as he waved at her. "Bye Deaq!" She called back and walked out the door, Van at her heels.

Two hours later, the couple finally got home. They had stopped at Taco Bell to get dinner on the way home. When they got home, Billie got the food set out on the coffee table while Van put a movie in the VCR. "Okay, so what's on the agenda tonight?" Billie asked taking a bite of her bean burrito as Van hit play. "Bullitt." Van answered as he sat next to her and picked up his drink. "You're so wonderful." Billie said as she snuggled into his side to watch the movie. "I know!" Van chirped playfully as he pulled her against him more. Billie looked up at him and smiled. "I love you." She said. "I love you too." Van replied as he kissed her.

The movie ended around 9:30 pm or so. When it went off, Billie was dozing with her head in Van's lap. Van turned off the television and woke her up. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Wake up." He whispered in her ear. Billie's eyes slowly opened. "What time is it?" she mumbled sleepily as she rubbed her eyes and sat up. "It's time for bed. Come on." Van said as he got up and started to head for the stairs. He got maybe five feet away and turned around to see Billie still sitting on the couch. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Help me." Billie said helplessly as she held out her hands so that Van could pull her up. Van chuckled as he headed back over to her. This had been a common occurrence over the past month or so. The bigger she got, the harder it was for her to move. "Thank you." Billie said as she straightened up. When she straightened, she felt a pop in her stomach and a gush down her leg. She looked down to see a dark stain on her gray sweatpants. Next she looked at Van, shock on her face. "Okay. I know you have a weak bladder, but that is ridiculous." Van said when he noticed the size of the wet spot. "My water broke." Billie told him.

DKM: Well, Van hasn't gotten killed yet, but I'm sure she's wanted too. I hope he won't in the next chapter!

Simbagirl: Yeah, she peed! And yes, the baby is coming soon!

Unsigned: Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

Ch 24 The Time Has Come

A/N Not mine. Don't sue!

"What?" Van squeaked in shock at what she said. "My water broke." Billie repeated calmly, not quite sure it really had happened herself. "You're sure you didn't just pee again?" Van questioned before he got all excited. "Van!" Billie snapped. "You said it broke last time too and you just got kicked in the bladder." Billie glared at him before glancing around the room. "I may not have a water pitcher this time Van, but I can still hurt you with that!" Billie threatened, pointing to a German stein on one of the shelves. "No need to get hostile. I was just saying…" Van started. "Hostile? You think I'm being hostile? I'll show you hostile!" She snapped as she advanced on him, forcing him back a few inches. "Whoa. Okay, calm down! You're not being hostile. I'm sorry I said anything, okay?" Van said as he threw his hands up in front of him, in a surrendering sign. Billie glared before answering. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up before things start to escalate." She said and walked, well more like waddled, out of the room.

Van grabbed the phone and collapsed on the couch as he dialed the number. "Yeah." Came Deaq's greeting on the second ring. "Deaq, guess what?" Van said enthusiastically. "She tried to break your neck?" Deaq answered with a snicker. "Funny. No, her water broke." Van corrected. "For real? She didn't just pee?" Deaq questioned. "I'm gonna tell her you said that." Van threatened. "Yeah, sure Van. You're gonna tell her I said that, and inadvertently tell her that you told me what happened. Yeah, I can see Billie taking that real well already!" Came Deaq's retort. "Can it will ya? It's bad enough I have her threatening to beat me over the head with a beer stein." Van grumbled as he sunk farther into the couch. "She threatened to what!" Deaq said with a cough as he choked on his beer. "It's not funny man! She's being down right impossible right now." Van told him as he got up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. His better judgment told him to go upstairs and check on Billie, but he ignored it. "Van, she's been pregnant forever, so I think being a little pissy is to be expected at this point. Also, she's married to you." Deaq tried his best to explain her actions without laughing. "Also she's married to me? What the hell does that mean?" Van snapped. "Well, I just mean…" Deaq began. "You mean because she's married to me she can be the wicked bitch of the west all she wants because I love her and will forgive her." Van filled in. "You said it, not me." Deaq said. Just then, there was a sound that sent chills up Van's spine and made his blood run cold. "I know you aren't calling me the wicked bitch of the west, now are you, Van?" Billie said from behind him to make her presence known. Van quickly wheeled around and met the sapphire eyes of his wife. 'Um, hi! How…how long have you been there?" He stuttered. Just then he remembered the phone. "I'll call you later." He said to Deaq and hung up quickly. "Who was that?" Billie asked as he sat the phone down. "Um, that was, um, that…was, Deaq." Van stammered and finally spit out. He couldn't help but be afraid of her. Billie had him pinned against the counter and was well within strangling range. Van could see the amusement his fear caused, tugging the corners of her lips into a wry smile, but her eyes told a story of venomous anger. Anger she was about to unleash on her husband. _"He looks like Janet Lee in Psycho when she realizes she's going to die."_ Billie mused and giggled in spite of herself. "What's so funny?" Van asked in a weak voice. "Oh nothing. I was just calculating how long it would take me to strangle you." Billie said thoughtfully as her hands slid up around Van's neck. "Um, Billie. This isn't funny." Van said the fear flooding over into his voice. "No, you're right, it's not. You know, it takes about four minutes to strangle someone." Billie said as she got her hands on either side of his neck. "That's super human strength." Van pointed out, feeling faint. _"I wonder if passing out right now would help any?"_ he thought as the feeling came over him. "Super human or pregnancy induced." Billie filled in as she began to squeeze. As she increased the pressure on his neck, Billie felt a sharp pain in her stomach. "Ah." She muttered as she loosened her grip momentarily.

"You okay?" Van asked concerned, as he took advantage of her loosened grip to put her hands to her side and back her up to sit in a chair. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think that was a sorry excuse for a contraction." Billie explained as she made herself comfortable in the chair. Van went over to the fridge and got out one of the icy bottles of water they kept in there for her when she got thirsty. Opening the cap, he handed it to her and gave her instructions. "Here baby. Drink that and try to relax. I'm gonna run upstairs and make sure everything is packed in the hospital bag and call the doctor to let her know what's going on. Is there anything else I can do for you?" Van asked as he ran his hand over her cheek. "Yeah, can you call Bob and Ruby, tell them this is hopefully it. Oh, and hand me my cell. I need to call Lori and tell her what's going on. I'm getting a bit nervous about what to do next. Maybe she can help me calm down." Billie said looking up at her husband with a smile as she took another sip of water and felt a milder cramp again in her stomach. Van kissed Billie on the forehead as he walked over to the counter and retrieved her phone along with a small package of cheese crackers from the snack basket they kept on the counter to deal with her frequent cravings. "You look tired." Van told her, setting the small hot pink RAZR phone in front of her and then opening the cracker package, setting that down for her as well. "I am. I've been waiting for this for 40 weeks and 3 days and now that it's here, I can officially say that I am overwhelmed. I mean, I'm happy to be having our baby, finally, but now that its time, I feel like I haven't had enough time to prepare. You know, to grow up and mature enough to be someone's mother. Does that make sense?" Billie told him quietly. Inside she felt like something was wrong with her. She didn't understand why she suddenly felt so inept and unprepared to take care of this. Billie had always been the type of woman to keep her calm in any situation and handle it with dignity, grace and determination. Why did a little baby make her want to crawl under a rock and never come out into the light of day again?

"That doesn't make something wrong with you. You're just a first time parent like all parents once were." Van told her soothingly as he leaned against the table and held out his arms to hug her. Billie leaned into his embrace and laid her head against his stomach. "I'm nervous too. I know I don't act like it, but the thought of a little baby terrifies me. What if she doesn't like me? What if I change her diaper wrong and she messes all over everything? What if I'm only as good of a father as my dad?" Van voiced his fears about being a parent, to his wife for the first time. It felt good to be able to tell her that he didn't feel he could be the pillar of strength for her that she told him she had always seen him as. "You're gonna be a great father. Sure, you'll make mistakes. So will I. That's only human. But at the same time, any child that is lucky enough to have a man as wonderful as you won't turn out too bad." Billie told him reassuringly. Van kissed her head and patted her stomach. "What about you? Are you worried about what kind of parent you're going to be?" He asked her. "Well yeah. I worry a lot. I didn't have a mom since I was a little girl, so I wonder how in the world I am supposed to know what to do. I can learn how to do things like change diapers, buy baby clothes, breastfeed, sooth and take care of a cold or fever. But how do I help her grow? What do I do to make her a good person? How do I instill values, self esteem and a sense of belonging? How can I give her all the things I never had? What do I do when it comes time to tell her about the birds and bees? Times like this, I wish I had a mother." Billie explained, finishing up, mournfully, a tear sliding down her cheek. "You'll figure it out. You're mom is looking down on you right now and I bet she'd tell you the same thing." Van told her, wiping the tear away. "Yeah, I know. It's just that I wish she was hear to celebrate this with us." She told him. "Hey, it's gonna be fine. We're having a baby. Our family is growing and we get a chance to be apart of something important, our own little piece of immortality. How could we possibly be afraid of taking part in that?" Van encouraged her and kissed her lightly. "I'm gonna go and make that call and bring the bags downstairs before things kick into high gear." Van told her and trotted upstairs excitedly, leaving Billie alone to call her sister.

Billie watched that wonderful man walk out of the room. She truly was the luckiest woman alive to have such a wonderful, loving husband. With that thought on her mind, Billie picked up the phone and looked through her contacts until she found Lori's number. Before she dialed the number though, she felt the beginnings of another contraction. This one was different. She actually felt the urge to breathe through it. Billie looked at her watch as she continued her rhythmic, deliberate breathing through the contraction. "Van!" She finally yelled as she felt he should know that what was going on. "Yeah?" He called back as he tossed one of the bags out of the bedroom door and sat it by the top of the stairs. "Um, don't take…….owe!" Billie started, but was stopped by the intensity of the pain that radiated from her back all the way across the lower part of her stomach. "You okay?" Van called as he ran down the stairs hearing in her voice that she was in pain. "Contraction" Billie breathed as she gritted her teeth and tried to breath her way through the rest of it. After another fifteen seconds, the pain subsided and Van could see Billie's body visibly relax. Billie took note of the time on her watch. "Okay, that one was about a minute long. It hurt too. I think we need to start timing them now. Don't take too long making phone calls, okay?" Billie asked him. "Okay. You'll be okay here if I go back up and grab the baby's bag and call Bob?" Van asked her, concerned. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just listen for me to yell if I need you." Billie told him. Van smiled at her and walked back to finish what he was doing.

Billie picked up her phone again and hit the send button when she highlighted her sister's name. The phone rang a couple times before a young man with a slightly country accent answered. "Hello?" the soft spoken man said. "Hey, Jeremy? It's Billie." She said. "Billie! Hey! How's my favorite sister-in-law doing today?" He cheered. Billie laughed at this. Since she'd first talked to him, he'd always treated her like an actual member of his own family. He even referred to Van as his long lost brother at times. "I'm not too bad. Listen, is Lori around. I need to talk to her. I've gone into labor and we'll probably be heading to the hospital soon." Billie said. Just as she finished that sentence, another contraction started. "Hold on a minute, will you Jer, contraction." Billie said and soon lost her voice to the intensity that was building in her as she breathed her way through the pain. Jeremy waited patiently as he listened to Billie handling the pain. She was having a good sized contraction, judging by her breathing. He remembered when his son, Tristen, was born and what it was like for Lori to be in that kind of pain. As he talked Billie through her contraction, Jeremy looked through the small bungalow he had with his family for his wife. He stumbled upon her in their son's room folding laundry. "Honey, it's Billie. She's in labor." Jeremy said when he walked in the room. "Here she is Billie. Good luck and tell Van I said not to pass out." Jeremy said and handed the phone over to his wife. "Wil? Hi! How's the labor going?" Lori asked her sister. "Well, it hurts." Billie said dryly as she stood up and walked into the bathroom off the kitchen.

Upstairs Van walked out of his and Billie's bedroom with her makeup bag in hand and sat it by the stairs before walking into the nursery, the phone resting against his ear as he talked. "Bob, hey it's Van!" Van said quickly when the older man took the phone from his son and greeted the person on the other end. "Van, hi! How's it going? Did Billie try to kill you or something?" he asked dryly. "No, she didn't try to kill me." Van fibbed. Technically she had tried, but he just chose to blame the hormones for her moodiness. Somehow over the past nine months, Van had convinced himself that Billie wasn't really like that. "Well then, what's up? It's almost 11pm, why call so late if she doesn't want you dead?" the captain asked. "That's real funny sir." Van commented sarcastically. "I'm calling because she's in labor!" Van told him excitedly. "Ruby, Billie's having the baby!" Bob yelled to his wife in the kitchen. "Really? Is Van still alive or did she already haul off and kill him?" Ruby jokingly asked as she walked into the living room where her husband was still on the phone. "Why does everyone always assume my wife is a pissy, homicidal bitch?" Van asked when he heard Ruby's comment. "Um, she is." Captain Parish answered mocking innocence. "I'm gonna tell her you said that. She's a wonderful, loving, kind and gentle person who wouldn't hurt a fly." Van said with a snicker. "Van, have you ever met Billie?" Bob questioned with a laugh, causing Van to laugh as well. Billie was a wonderful woman, and Van truly loved her more than life itself, but man, once in awhile she could sit on the Bitchville Chamber of Commerce, as far as Van was concerned.

"Van!" Billie hollered from downstairs. "She's calling me and it sounds like it hurts, so I better go." Van told his temporary boss. "Okay, you guys are going to be at Saint Vincent's right?" the big bald man asked. "Yeah, I think we'll be leaving soon to go over there." Van told him. "Okay, well we'll head over there in a bit too." He told Van. "Oh, and Van." Bob said before he hung up. "Sir?" Van answered as he headed downstairs in a hurry when he heard Billie moaning in pain. "You're gonna be a wonderful father. One day, when that child is a father himself, he's going to be able to tell his child what a great dad you were." Bob told him. "You think so?" Van asked. "Of course I do. The fact that you and Billie are both nervous about becoming parents, tells me that you're going to do a wonderful job with this baby. New parent anxiety can be a wonderful thing when you are tuned into your child and what they need." Bob told him. Van was speechless. He had always assumed that Captain Parish hated him, seeing that Billie was like a daughter to him and Van had gotten her pregnant before he ever thought of marrying her. "Van, can I give you an extra bit of advice? Just from one husband to another, you know, someone who's been there, done that?" The large man asked in a fatherly tone as he sat in a chair in the kitchen as his wife of 25 years sat a cup of peppermint tea in front of him. "Sure. I'm open to any advice I can get." Van answered as he walked into the living room to see Billie sitting on the couch trying to catch her breath as her contraction subsided.

Sitting next to his laboring wife, Van wrapped his arm around Billie, and ran his fingers through her slightly sweat dampened hair. He pressed his lips against her head and lightly kissed her as he massaged her neck, soothingly, with his fingers. "Remember that you and Billie were husband and wife before you were ever someone's parents. I say this because when all your children grow up and move out of your house, your lives won't be consumed by being someone's parents anymore and you will again be a family of two instead of a family of three or more." Bob told him of what he learned the hard way when his children moved out and began their adult lives, leaving him and Ruby alone and not really sure how to relate to each other anymore. "Believe me Bob, I'm never going to forget that Billie is my wife and that I love her more than any words or actions could ever begin to express." Van told his pseudo father-in-law of his love for his wife as Billie looked on, her eyes shining with happy tears. "I'm glad you know that and intend to remember it, but I also want to tell you that when you become parents, it's hard to remember that you are husband and wife first and that taking care of your marriage is a huge part of taking care of your child's emotional well being. Marriage is tough enough without children, Van. When you add them into the mix and forget to nurture your marriage the same way you nurture the parent/child relationship, it gets easier and easier to move farther away from each other. First emotionally, then spiritually and eventually it can happen legally. Always, always set time aside for your marriage son." Bob finished as Van chewed on his words thoughtfully. "Thanks for the advice Bob. It means a lot to me. My dad would never have told me that nurturing my marriage is a vital part of raising a happy, secure, well adjusted child. He and my mom never did tend to their marriage, and it crumbled, I don't want that to happen to Billie and I; or our child." Van told him sincerely while looking Billie in the eyes, to say that he was actually talking to her. "Good job, Van. Now, you go take your wife to the hospital and have a baby! You'll be fine. Billie will be fine and the baby will be fine." He reassured Van, instinctively knowing his was nervous about what it would be like. "Ruby and I will be up to see you both in a few hours. Don't hesitate to call us with any updates in the meantime. Bye, Van." "Bye, Bob. Thank you for the talk." Van said and hung up the phone as he hugged Billie tightly.

Fifteen minutes later, Van and Billie walked out the door of their new home and headed to the hospital. Before Van closed and locked the door behind them he looked back into the house one more time. "Hey Billie." He whispered just loud enough to get his wife's attention. "What?" Billie replied. "Look. The next time we come back in the house, we're gonna be a family instead of just an us." Van said and gestured towards the calm looking foyer. "Yeah, we are." Billie agreed, trying her damndest not to sound pissy that he was taking a long ass stroll down memory lane while she was in pain and her body tried to turn itself inside out. "Can we go now?" She snapped finally getting pissy that he was still standing there staring into oblivion. "Fine. What's your problem? Our life is about to change forever and you don't want to take one final look at the past before moving on to the future. Gosh, you're not very sentimental are you?"

Van snapped at her as he gruffly closed and locked the front door. "Now! You want to fucking pick a fight with me now! What the hell could POSSIBLY make you think that idea is anything more than a death wish waiting to happen, Van!" Billie yelled at him as she walked over to the car, fuming with her arms folded over her chest. "Okay, I'm sorry." Van conceded catching up to her. "Sorry? You expect 'sorry' to make me feel better? I don't think so!" Billie snapped at her husband as he opened his door and pushed the unlock button on the console so she could get in as well. "Okay, let me reword that then. You are right. You always have been right. You always will be right. Better?" Van told her, exasperated as he closed the back door on the bags and got in the drivers seat. "Do you know how much time we would save if you just kept that in the font of your mind?" Billie commented as she turned in her seat and smiled that sickeningly sweet, patronizing smile, Van wanted to smack off her face and clear out of the country.

"I wonder if Dr. Robins knows how to deliver a child that is part human, part pure evil?" Van commented dryly as he turned on the car and prepared to back out of the driveway. No sooner did he say that than the horns and pitchfork showed. "Hmm…I wonder where the pure evil part comes from?" Billie snarled as she glared at Van. Her hands were balled up and her knuckles white, from squeezing so tight. Van remembered the last time she had turned her knuckles that color. A punch at Roland Hill followed the white knuckling. _"Note to self: When Billie snarls; jump out of moving vehicle. Any injuries from such an act will be MUCH less painful than death by wife."_ Van thought as he continued to drive. "Van, be glad we're going to the hospital because that's where your gonna need to be in five minutes!" Billie snapped. _"Oh shit"_ Van thought when Billie's hands quickly wrapped around his neck. Billie didn't get a chance to strangle her dumb shit of a husband as she would have liked though, because an intense contraction radiated throughout her body. "Ah!" she squealed as the intensity of the pain built in her body, causing her to drop her hands from his neck and grab the handle on the roof over her head and squeeze as she attempted to breath through the contraction.

"Almost there." Van said, rubbing her arm as they pulled into the driveway of the emergency room. "Just breathe." Van instructed as he turned off the ignition and jumped out of the car to help Billie into the hospital. "Breathe? My body is trying to turn itself inside out and you tell me to 'just breathe'! It's not fucking working!" Billie yelled at her frazzled husband, who led her inside. "Okay, let's check in and see if they'll give you some drugs." Van told her as he sat her in a chair and turned to walk up to the nurses desk. "Or at least give some to me." He muttered once his back was turned on his wife. "Can I help you sir?" The homely woman behind the desk asked him. "Yes, my wife is in labor." Van told her, wearily.

Okay, I know it's been awhile since I updated! Sorry, I've been REALLY busy lately! Anyway, here is the next installment!

DKM: Ooh, Van's gonna get it now! After all, he's the one that did this too her! LOL I had to mention Bullitt! She's at the hospital now! Let the games begin!

Simbagirl: Well, it looks like her water really broke this time! There's no turning back now! 


	25. Chapter 25

Ch 25 Higher than Cheech and Chong 

Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or its characters.

"Yes, my wife is in labor." Van told the woman behind the desk. "And what is your wife's name?" The nurse asked. "Wilhelmina Chambers." Van answered. He had to stifle a snicker when the woman cringed at Billie's name. "She hates it too. Call her Billie." Van told her quietly. The woman smiled and nodded. "Here, just have her fill those out and bring them back up here when you're done." She said, handing Van a clipboard. Just then, Van heard Billie groan as another contraction hit her. The nurse looked in the direction of the noise and saw Billie. "Actually, you might want to fill those out for her. She doesn't look like she's in the mood to write. When you're done, just bring up her insurance card with the papers and we'll get her upstairs as soon as we can." The nurse, named Gloria, told Van with a smile at him and then smiled at Billie. Van took the clipboard and took a seat next to his laboring wife.

"You doing okay?" Van asked as he sat down and began to fill out the form. Billie turned and glared at her husband before she spoke. "Oh I'm fine. No pain at all!" she snapped. Van rolled his eyes at her. "Hey, I was just asking. No need to be smart." He shot back. "Bitch." Van muttered under his breath as he continued to fill in her information. "I'm in labor. I think it would be a safe assumption for you to make that I'm not doing okay." Billie retorted. "Jackass." She muttered under her breath in response to his name calling.

Twenty minutes later… 

"Billie." Gloria called as Billie looked up from her pouting. Van quickly tossed his magazine on the table, grateful for a way to get away from Billie's childish behavior, and stood up. Billie looked up at him and just waited. After a moment, Van let out a deep sigh and pulled his wife to her feet. He knew she could get up by herself, she did it while he was at work, but she never bothered to even attempt it when he was around to expend the energy for her. "Come on, Sassy. Let's get that thing out of you so I can have my wife back." Van grumbled as he grabbed her hand and led her to the doorway where the nurse was. "Me too, Sparky, me too." Billie responded with a smile as they walked through the doorway to the elevator. While in the elevator, on the way up to the fourth floor labor and delivery unit, Van played with Billie's hair. He usually did this when he wanted to strangle her but couldn't because of witnesses, or, in this case being in a hospital with resuscitating equipment.

Gloria led them down to the last room on the right. They walked in and Billie was instructed to change into the hospital gown on the bed. While Billie was gone, Van looked around the sparse room, putting things away. "Van" the nurse said as she turned back the bed. "Yeah?" Van responded and turned around to face the woman. "She's in labor. She already wants to kill you for doing this to her. Don't give her a reason to move from wanting to kill you into explaining the dead body to the police. Okay?" She said, just as Billie walked back into the room dressed in a hospital gown and fuzzy purple socks. "Yeah, okay." Van said before Billie was back in ear shot.

"Lay down so I can hook you up and check the baby's heartbeat." The nurse instructed Billie as she motioned to the bed. She hooked Billie up to a monitor that checked the baby's heartbeat and left the room. "Dr. Robins will be in shortly to examine you." She told Billie. When she and Van were alone, Billie finally spoke, "We still don't know what to name a girl. If we don't get a name soon, we'll have to put B.G. Ray on her birth certificate and our child will have to explain that her whole life." Billie said with those 'poor neglected puppy' eyes Van so hated to see. "If we have to put that on her certificate, we will. We can always change it later, honey." Van said, desperately hoping she wouldn't cry. No such luck. "Do we really want her to explain to teachers, people at the DMV, social security and college admissions that her parents didn't love her enough to give her a real name? And what about when she gets married? What will she tell the priest? Or her in laws! What will they think of us!" Billie shrieked as she began to sob uncontrollably. Van just stared at his wife. She looked harmless. But she wasn't. She was a horrible, snarly, vile, manipulative, little creature. And he loved her anyway. "Crying is blackmail, Billie." Van said coolly, hoping she would calm down so he didn't have to tell Dr. Vickie why she was so hysterical. "I don't care! Our child doesn't have a name! This baby is the only thing that matters right now and I can't even tell her what her name is when she's born! I'm a horrible mother!" Billie screamed, getting even more upset, if that was even possible. _"I wonder if jumping out the window would kill me, or if I'd end up in a wheelchair for her to take revenge on later."_ Van thought as he glanced at the window and rubbed Billie's back to calm her down.

"Van?" Billie's voice intruded into his thoughts. "Huh?" Van asked, not really paying attention to her yet. For her part, Billie knew Van wasn't listening to what she was saying. "The name Van. Do you like it?" Billie asked innocently as she looked lovingly at her husband. Van didn't notice the undertones of demonic possession in her eyes that would come out if he said he did like it. "I'm sorry Sassy, what was the name?" Van asked. "Brumhilda" Billie said, barely able to get such a horrible name out of her mouth without choking on the word. "That's a nice name. Whatever you want to call her I'm sure will be wonderful, baby." Van mindlessly answered, looking out the window. "Donovan!" Billie yelled at him, a contraction taking over her body before she could properly rip his head off. A full minute later, Billie continued to lay into him as if she hadn't ever stopped. "How the hell can you say you like that name! It's hideous! I don't even like it! We might as well name her Wilhelmina Jr. if you like such hideous names!" Billie yelled her eyes blazing at her husband. "Whoa, shades of Linda Blair!" Van said backing up from the bed. "Van! Don't you dare think for one minute that I won't throw you out the window!" Billie threatened. No sooner did she get the words out of her mouth than there was a knock at the door.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Dr. Vickie asked as she poked her head into the door. "Come in! Interrupt! Save me! Please!" Van answered as he quickly got away from Billie so she couldn't kill him for saying that. "Van, she's in labor. Comments like that will get you broken bones." The doctor told the soon-to-be-father. "Hi Billie." She said and leaned down to give her patient a hug. "Hi." Billie said as she hugged the doctor back. "Okay, it looks like you're having regular contractions. How do you feel?" The Dr. asked. "I feel like my body is trying to turn itself inside out." Billie answered calmly. "How come you can be so nice to her but so bitchy to me when I ask that question?" Van asked defensively. "Because she didn't get me pregnant in the first place, ass wipe!" she snapped at her husband. "Children! Please!" Dr. Robins finally interjected into the squabble. "There will be plenty of time to nit pick at each other once the baby is here. Right now, let's just focus on Billie and what is happening. Okay?" she said looking from one to the other. Billie sat in the bed defiantly and Van just stared at her, every bit as defiant as she was. "I'm waiting." The doctor finally said after almost half a minute of silence. "Okay." The couple grumbled their agreement. "Good. Let's see how far along you are now Billie." She said with a smile.

"Well, it looks like you are 5 centimeters and fully effaced. You're water did break this time. You should have a baby sometime today. What a Mother's Day present, huh?" The doctor said as she finished the exam and looked back at the clock. "Oh! It is isn't it?" Billie said, noting that the time was 12:10am on May 14th. "Van, did you get me anything?" Billie asked sweetly. "I sure did baby!" Van answered with a broad smile on his face. "What is it?" She asked. "Pregnant." He answered, knowing his wife would be more than just a little pissed. "What!" She snapped. "I got you pregnant." Van repeated again, the smile still on his face. _"They're both gonna need drugs after this. Van, Morphine for the pain, and Billie, a tranquilizer to calm down."_ Dr. Robins thought as she watched to see what Billie was going to do to her husband. "What!" Billie shrieked again. "I married you, you stupid prick and all you can give me for my first mothers day is, 'I got you pregnant'!" She squealed and picked up the cell phone on the table next to her. She hurled the small silver item as hard as she could, hitting Van squarely in the head. "I ought to castrate you with an olive fork for that!" Billie yelled. The phone connected firmly with Van's head in a loud 'whack'.

_6lbs and 9oz. lookin' up at me  
Like I have all the answers  
I hope I have the ones you need  
I've never really done this, now I know what scared is_

"Owe! Shit, I was just kidding Billie. I got you something! You'll get it when you pop out Linda Blair Jr." Van snapped at her as he pressed his hand against his forehead. "Van" Billie growled at his statement. Dr. Robins thought this was as good a time as any to step in. "Okay, let me look at that Van." She said with a chuckle as she attempted to compose herself. "That's gonna leave a mark." She laughed as she looked at the lump on his head. "Funny." Van seethed as he looked back at the bed to Billie who was grinning widely. "I'll have the nurse bring in some ice for that Van. I'll be back in a couple hours." She told the pair as she walked out the door. Before the large wood panel was closed behind her, she turned and looked at Billie. "Billie, get some drugs. Lots of drugs." She snickered and walked to the nurses desk.

_Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong  
Other times I'll let you just find out on your own  
But that's when you'll be growin',  
And the whole time I'll be knowin_

3AM… 

A knock came at the door. "Yeah." Van answered, not moving from the spot on the bed where he was sitting, holding Billie's hand while she 'breathed' through another contraction. "You are never touching me again, you miserable son of a bitch!" Was the first thing Deaq heard Billie say as he opened the door. "Well, I'm glad to see she's not taking this out on you, Van." Deaq chuckled as he walked in the door. "Smart ass." Van said dryly to his "partner". "Hi Billie." Deaq said to the laboring demon….er, woman in the bed. For her part, Billie mustered a pathetic smile for him. "Deaq, why don't you sit for a bit, help her through a contraction or two while I get myself some coffee and her some more water." Van said as he got up and showed Deaq to a chair. "Sure." Deaq replied as he pulled a chair up to Billie's bedside and sat down. "Her contractions are about every 2 minutes." Van said and headed out of the room. "It won't be much longer, Billie. Then you'll have a pint sized, un-potty trained Van to contend with as well as your husband." Deaq said in a weak attempt to make her smile. It worked. The smile only lasted a minute though, since another contraction built itself up. Billie's face twisted in agony as she tried desperately not to scream. "Oh, here. Squeeze my hand." Deaq said as he gave her his hand to grab on to. Billie looked at it for a minute and made no attempt to grab it. "It's okay. You're not gonna break it." Deaq said. _"If you insist you idiot."_ She thought and grabbed his hand, squeezing as the intensity of the contraction built in her body.

_You're gonna fly with every dream you chase  
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay  
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there  
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good  
We just have to believe things work out like they should  
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me  
You're gonna be_

At about that time, Van returned with two cups of coffee and a nurse carrying the water pitcher. When the nurse opened the door, the first thing Van heard was a blood curdling scream of pain. "She's never letting you touch her again, if she's hurting THAT much." The nurse, Allison said to Van as they walked into the room. Van stopped and stared as he took stock of the image before him. Billie was sitting in the bed laughing, her face was dampened with sweat, but she was laughing. He followed her gaze downward and it was only then that he noticed, Deaq on the floor, holding his hand and screaming. "My hand! It's broke! She broke my fucking hand! Oh my god! Kill me! Kill me now!" He yelled as he clutched the hand she'd squeezed. "Any contractions while I was gone, dear?" Van asked his wife, as if he hadn't even seen Deaq writhing on the floor. "A small one." Billie replied with a chuckle as Van handed her a cup of water to drink. "Small! A small one! You're crazy!" Deaq shot in her direction as he got in the chair again. "You noticed! I'm touched!" She sarcastically replied. "You tried to kill me you miserable…" Deaq started. "She's in labor, cut her some slack will ya?" Van interrupted before Deaq would have to suffer the consequences of the name he was about to call her.

_I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through  
some of my mistakes  
Lord knows I'll be trying OH to give you what it takes  
What it takes to know the difference  
Between getting by and livin'_

Another knock sounded at the door. "Come in!" Billie sang happily while giving Deaq a wide, patronizing smile. The door opened and Captain Parish walked in, followed by Ruby. "Hey sweetie. How ya feeling?" Ruby asked as she leaned down and gave Billie a hug when she came into the room. "I'm okay. It's not as bad as I thought it would be." She said as she shot Van a smile, prompting him to laugh. "What happened to your hand Deaq?" Bob asked when he saw that he obviously had given it to Billie to squeeze during a contraction. "She tried to kill me. You need to arrest her for assault with a deadly weapon." He replied pointedly. "She's in labor, I couldn't arrest her for murder right now. It would be under temporary insanity." The captain said as Billie groaned with another contraction. "Van." She said a full two minute later when the pain subsided. "Yes?" he replied. "You love me and would do anything for me right?" She prodded. "Within reason, I would." He told his wife, wondering what she was getting at. "Grab that pillow over there will you?" She asked pointing to the corner. Van picked up the pillow and walked back over to her. "Okay, now what?" he said. "Kill me." Billie instructed. "Honey, I won't kill you. But I will get the nurse if you want something for pain." Van said as he brushed her hair away from her flushed face.

_Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way  
Just know you'll have to live with all  
the choices that you make  
So make sure you're always givin' way  
more than you're takin'_

Just then, Allison came back in the room. "Billie, the doctor wants us to check you know." She said. "Okay, we're gonna be out in the waiting room." Ruby said, still chuckling from the hilarity of Billie's request to her husband. "I'm gonna go with them." Deaq said, slowly as he tried not to laugh at the pain Billie was obviously in. It wasn't funny. Really, it wasn't. But it was…in a way. When the three had exited the room, Allison checked to see the progress Billie had made. "Okay, it looks like your about 8 centimeters now." She said. With those words, Billie burst into tears. "Oh sweetie, what's the matter?" the pregnant nurse asked. "It's never coming out!" Billie wailed as Van sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms and kissed her head to soothe her somewhat. "It's gonna come out. You're almost there! Just look, you've made it three centimeters since you've been here. That's good!" She encouraged her hysterical patient. "I've been pregnant forever and I've had contractions for days!" Billie continued to wail. "She's overdue and has been having not productive contractions for about a week now." Van filled in when he saw the puzzled look on the woman's face. "Oh sweetie. Do you want anything?" she asked as Billie calmed down. "Drugs. Lots of drugs. I want to be higher than Cheech and Chong at a Rolling Stones concert." Billie blurted out. "Okay." She said and quickly exited the room to get the drugs before Billie could see her laugh. For his part, Van released Billie and walked, quickly into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and turned on the faucet just as his laughter bubbled over and he crumpled to the floor, in hysterics. A couple minutes later, Van walked out of the small room, having regained his composure somewhat. He walked back just in time to see the nurse giving Billie some Demerol for the pain. "Why are you crying?" Billie asked, seeing the tears in his eyes. She knew the answer already, but wanted to see if he'd say it. "I'm just so happy we're finally having the baby!" Van said, his composure slowly giving way again. "Van, you're so full of shit." Billie said with a smile as the drug started to enter her system and Van finally gave way to laughter again.

_You're gonna fly with every dream you chase  
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay  
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there  
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good  
We just have to believe things work out like they should  
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me  
You're gonna be_

6AM… 

"Okay, Billie it looks like your ready to push now." Dr. Robins said. "I can't. Too tired." Billie said. "You can sleep all you want after this is over. The more you push, the sooner the baby will be out and you can rest while we're cleaning her up in the nursery." Allison slyly bribed. "Okay, fine. But after this, I'm sleeping. Got it?" Billie snapped. "Fine. Now, push!" The doctor ordered. Billie pushed. "Okay, good! Keep going! 1,2,3…" Van encouraged as he kept count of how long she was pushing. "Count faster dammit!" Billie snapped as she collapsed back on the bed. She's been pushing for forty five minutes and she was tired. "Billie, the head is right here. One more push and you'll be almost there." The doctor said. "No. I can't. It's too hard." Billie practically begged. "You can't do it? The woman I married, didn't have those words in her vocabulary. What happened to her?" Van said, hoping to piss her off enough to make her push. "The woman you married has been in labor for over 9 hours is what happened!" Billie snapped instead of pushing like Van had hoped she would. "Well, the head is right here, Billie. I could probably just do an episiotomy and pull the baby out with forceps so you don't have to push." Dr. Robins said, knowing that would get her to push. At the words episiotomy and forceps, Billie conceded. "Fine. One more, but that's it." Billie said and readied herself to push. "Well, maybe two more." The doctor said. "Whatever." Billie grumbled and pushed again. "Okay, stop pushing Billie." The doctor said. She stuck her fingers under where the cord was loosely wrapped around the baby's neck and unwrapped it before giving her patient the okay to deliver fully. "Okay, Billie, I want you to push once more and reach down and help pull the baby out okay?" Dr. Robins said. Billie nodded and pushed. She reached her hands down and with one final shriek of pain, wrapped her hands around a slippery body and pulled it onto her chest.

_Someone's everything  
You're gonna see  
Just what you are to me_

"Oh my god." She panted as she looked in awe at her child for the first time. "It's beautiful!" Van said as he choked back tears. As the nurse and Billie dried the baby off, the first cry was heard. With that, Van and Billie both started to cry. "What is it?" Billie asked as she looked at her husband. Van lifted the blanket off the slippery little baby and looked. "It's a girl! We have a beautiful baby girl!" he happily announced. "I knew it!" Billie sobbed happily. Van kissed her forehead. "You did so good." He said. "Van, would you like to cut the cord?" The doctor asked as she held a pair of scissors to him. Van took the scissors and cut the cord in his first act as a father. With that, Van and Billie's roles as parents had begun.

_You're gonna fly with every dream you chase  
We just have to believe things work out like they should  
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me  
You're gonna be  
Always loved by me_

Well, that's it! They have a baby! Sorry the update took so long. Hope you all enjoy! The music is Reba McEntire "You're Gonna Be" Anyone that has seen the video or has a child, knows why I picked it for this.

DKM: Yes, it looks like the fatherly advice has paid off, huh? She had a baby and Van is still alive! What more could he want? I hope you liked the Cheech and Chong reference!

Simbagirl: I hope you like this! Nice way for Van to handle this huh? He could almost pass for a real adult now! Haha


	26. Chapter 26

Ch 26 And Baby Makes Three 

A/N Not mine

The baby had been born at 6:47am on Mother's Day. Van came running down the hall at 7:15am "It's a baby! It's a baby!" Van called excitedly as he came face to face with the folks, he and Billie had come to know as family, in the waiting room. "Really? Billie must be so glad it's not a mastodon." Ruby said sarcastically. "Or a beagle" Deaq chimed in. "A girl, jackass. It's a beautiful baby girl!" Van proudly announced. "She had a girl! Oh that's wonderful!" Ruby exclaimed. "When? Is Billie okay? Is the baby okay?" Bob asked like a concerned father. "The baby was born at 6:47am. Billie is fine. She pushed for 47 minutes. The baby weighs 8lbs 10oz and is 21 inches long." Van filled in the pertinent details for his pseudo father-in-law. "When can we see her?" Ruby asked. "When can we see the baby?" Deaq asked at the same time. "Billie's resting right now and the baby is being cleaned up in the nursery. We can get some breakfast bring her back something. By the time we get back up she'll be awake, or at least not as pissed when Deaq wakes her up; and then they'll bring the baby in for all to see." Van replied, smiling at the scowl that formed on Deaq's face. "Why the hell should I wake her up! She's your wife!" Deaq argued. "Exactly. I'm tired of dealing with Linda Blair. It's your turn." Van answered back. "And again, she's your wife." Deaq commented. "But she's your boss. And let's face it, you two haven't spent near enough time together this pregnancy. It would be nice for you to be the first person that greets her when she wakes up." Van said the smirk on his face so big it was unnatural. "I hate you." Deaq muttered and walked towards the elevator, as the other three laughed and followed.

Two hours later… 

Van slowly eased the door open and walked in followed by Bob, Ruby and finally, Deaq. "Okay, well, there she is. Time to get her to rise and shine Deaq!" Van said with a snicker as he pointed to the bed. "Billie never has struck me as a morning person Van." Deaq replied as he took a step towards the bed. "Billie's never been ANY kind of person PERIOD, Deaq." Van pointed out. "She's just given birth to a child that I'm sure has your big old hard head. Maybe we should let her rest and recover from such a horrific experience." Deaq said with a snicker. "I do not have a big head!" Van shot back. "I bet she would disagree." Deaq retorted pointing to the sleeping woman in the bed. "Fine! Ask her! Go ahead, Deaq. You want to know. Wake her up!" Van challenged. "Children, stop it right now!" Ruby interjected when she saw Billie stirring in the bed. "He started it." Van and Deaq said simultaneously, pointing to one and other. "I don't care who started it and neither will Billie when she wakes up to this mess and shows you two what hormone hell really is!" She hissed as she made her way towards the bed. She sat on the edge gently and lulled Billie into consciousness. "Billie, come on honey, wake up." She sang in a motherly tone. Billie mumbled and pulled the blanket up under her chin more snuggly. "Come on honey, it's time to get up and soar with the eagles." She tried her best to make Billie open her eyes. "Fuck birds." Billie grumbled. "The baby will be here soon." Ruby tried one more tactic, before she resorted to pulling the covers off the new mother. That did it. Billie opened her eyes and looked at who was sitting on her bed. "The eagle may soar but the weasel doesn't get sucked into a jet engine." She snidely commented. "And my daughter will learn that lesson too." She finished before she sat up and gave Ruby a hug. "Happy Mother's Day!" the older woman said. "Happy Mother's Day to you too!" Billie said happily.

Next, Bob walked over to the bed and gave his adopted child a hug. "Congratulations sweetie! I see you managed not to cause any major bodily damage to anyone during the night." Bob said as he looked down at her. Billie looked over at a snickering Van and said, "You sure about that?" as she looked at the big purple welt on his forehead. Bob followed her gaze to Van and laughed when he saw the welt. "What did she hit you with?" he asked already knowing she caused the mark. "My phone." Van answered dryly as he stopped laughing. "How did you make her do that?" Ruby broke in. "I didn't make her do anything! She asked what I got her for Mother's Day and I said, 'I got you pregnant'. She did this on her own accord!" Van said defensively. "What a minute. You told her you got her pregnant for Mother's Day? Bob questioned. "Yeah." Van answered. "Wow, Billie. You have incredible self control! My husband would have been in the morgue for hours by now!" Ruby said with a laugh. "Well, I can't kill him. Someone needs to change the baby, feed her and clean the house while I sleep." Billie wryly commented as she smiled at Van. "I love you too." He quipped.

The group laughed and joked about this for a couple minutes until there was a knock at the door. "Yes" Van called before he leaned down to place a quick peck on his wife's lips. "Billie, we have a little visitor for you." A nurse said as she wheeled a bassinet with a small pink bundle wrapped up inside. "Aww" the crowd in the room cooed as they saw Billie's little mini me for the first time. "Little? You obviously didn't push that big head she inherited from her dad out of your body." Billie said with a laugh as she stared at the little face peeking out from the blanket. Deaq let out a sharp laugh at this. "See Van? She agrees with me!" He chuckled. Billie shot Deaq a look. "What? I've always been in sync with women. I have sisters!" Deaq defended against the look. "Uhuh. Sure, Deaq. Whatever." Billie said very unconvincingly. Van laughed, realizing what she meant. "Can I hold her?" Billie asked the nurse, turning her attention back to the baby. "Sure. She's your baby." The short dark haired woman said with a smile. "Oh. Yeah. She is, isn't she?" Billie said as she held her arms out nervously and the baby was placed in them for the first time. The baby was placed in Billie's stiff arms and began to immediately cry. "Here, you take her. I don't think she likes me." Billie said to Ruby as she started to burst into tears just like her daughter. "Oh honey, she likes you." Ruby said sitting on the bed. "No she doesn't! She's afraid of me!" Billie wailed as she attempted to pass the newborn on to the more experienced mother. "Everyone is afraid of you sweetheart." Van commented under his breath. Deaq quickly stifled a chuckle as Ruby gave Van a death glare that made Billie's look nice, before turning her attention to the hysterical new mother and child. Billie didn't even seem to hear Van's comment because she was so upset. "Babies can sense fear Billie. She's only afraid because you're afraid. Relax a bit and hold her a little closer." Ruby instructed. Billie looked up like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming 18-wheeler when she was told to hold the baby closer. "W..what? I can't. I'll break her." Came her weak protest, but was ignored as Ruby repositioned the baby in Billie's arms so that she was closer to her mother's chest. Instinctively, Billie cradled the baby closer to her heart and the child immediately snuggled in and stopped crying. "She stopped crying. I made her stop crying without killing her!" She babbled excitedly as she looked down at the baby. "Yes, you did." The older woman said with a laugh. "Hi little baby. I'm your mommy." Billie whispered softly as she placed a feather light kiss on the child's head.

"What's her name?" Deaq asked after a minute of watching Van, grinning like an idiot at his wife and child. "We probably need to give her one, don't we?" Billie asked, looking at her husband, the same goofy grin on her face. "What would her in laws think if we didn't?" Van retorted. "Van." Billie snapped. "You said earlier…" Van started. "You like sleeping alone, don't you?" Billie quickly shushed him with the implied threat. "Good thing we have extra bedrooms." Van said, grinning at Captain Parish. "Don't make me lock you in the garage." She threatened. "I wish Alexa was here. She would know exactly what to name you." Billie said to the now sleeping infant in her arms. "That's it." Deaq said. "What's it?" Billie asked. "Her name. Name her Alexa." He filled in happily. "I like that. Alexa Madison Ray." Van agreed, just throwing out a nice middle name. "No." Billie flatly shot down the suggestion. "Why not? It's nice!" Van and Deaq said in unison. "Because Deaq is a little too in sync with people named Alexa, is why." She answered. No sooner did Billie get the words out of her mouth than Captain Parish choked on his coffee. He'd been told all about 'Deskgate' and was impressed that Billie had settled for punching Deaq instead of shooting him. "You're never gonna let me live that down, are you Billie?" Deaq said annoyed as the others laughed. "Hell no! The ass print is still on my desk!" Billie retorted. "Van, suggest a name for this child before someone gets hurt." Ruby interjected in between fits of laughter. "After what I saw you do earlier" Van said to Billie, referring to the birth, "You can name her whatever the hell you want." He finished. "No ideas, huh?" Billie chuckled. "You hate all the ideas I've had so far. You must have one name you like in that brain of yours." Van pointed out. "Well," Billie said as she looked at the baby thoughtfully for a minute. "I hear the wheels of corruption turning. She must have something." Van said. "Van." Billie said pointedly. "Yes dear?" Van replied knowing she was going to say something pissy. "There is such a place as next week, and I can send you there. Got it?" She snapped. "Yes sir." Van conceded. "I have one name I like." Billie said. "What is it?" Van asked. "Bella Aislin" She said happily. Van looked at her and waited for further explanation of why she liked the name. "Bella is Italian and means Beautiful. You have Italian in your family Van. Aislin is Gaelic and means Vision." She explained.

"You've put a lot of thought into that, haven't you?" Van asked. "For a while." She answered. "And when did you intend to tell me you liked that name?" Van continued his interrogation. "I just did." Billie smartly replied. In response, Van stuck is tongue out at his wife, prompting her to laugh. "Okay, that's it then. Her name is Bella Aislin Ray." He announced to the group in the room. "Bar." Was the first thing Deaq said. Van gave him a questioning look. "Her initials spell bar." Deaq filled in as if it should be obvious. "So?" Billie asked. "She'll get teased for that." Deaq said. "You know, you have a point. I never thought of that one LaVelle!" Billie said, emphasizing his middle name. "Funny." Deaq said. "You don't get called that on a regular basis do you?" Van retorted. "Only by you two." Deaq snapped. "I don't think we have to worry about the kindergarten teacher calling her bar then." Van finished, getting a laugh from everyone.

Two hours later… 

"Okay, we're going to leave and let you all spend a little time alone." Ruby said as she passed the baby back to Billie. "Okay, I'll call you later." Billie said taking Bella and holding her against her shoulder. "Alright sweetie. I expect to talk to both of you later." Bob said giving Billie a hug and kissing the baby on the head as he shot a pointed look at Van to let him know that he expected him to be around for the phone call. Van waved his good byes as he lounged on the bed next to his wife and daughter. Once they were alone, Van got off the bed and headed over to one of the duffle bags, opening it and taking two wrapped boxes out. He walked back over to the bed and sat both packages next to his wife.

"What's this?" Billie asked, eyeing the packages excitedly. "Remember when I told you I got you something for Mother's Day?" Van asked. "Yes. All I had to do to get it, was pop out Linda Blair Jr." She said with a smile, totally enjoying bringing his words back up to haunt him. "And since you did pop out mini me, I guess that's close enough to the exorcist." Van snickered, causing Billie to chuckle as well. "You really think she looks like me?" She asked. "Yeah." Van said observing the small child. "She has your nose, cheeks, chin and lips. We haven't really seen her eyes yet, but something tells me she has my eyes." He said with a smile as he stroked the back of the baby's head. "And she has my hair." He finished taking off the tiny pink cap to reveal downy chestnut colored hair. "It's only fitting she would have your hair to cover the big head she inherited from you as well." Billie quipped. "I'm gonna pretend the hormones made you say that." Van quipped dryly. "You sure it was the hormones and not that you have a big head?" she asked with a noticeable smirk on her face. "Shut up and open your presents before I take them back." Van growled. "Why are there two?" She asked. "Read the tags." Van said with a smile. Billie read the tags. One said 'To: Sassy From: Sparky' and the other said 'To: Mommy From: Linda Blair Jr.' Seeing this, Billie laughed.

"Here, hold her so I can open those." She told her husband and passed him the baby gently. "Okay. Hi there sweet pea. How are you? You want to open your eyes for daddy, huh?" He cooed to the newborn but she still didn't open her eyes. Billie smiled at this. She thought it would be take an act of God to get Van to willingly hold the baby, let alone say some softie sentiment out loud. Billie picked up the first package from Van. It was wrapped in black and pink polka dot wrapping paper. A pink bow adorned the top. Billie, smiled. Her husband knew her well enough to know that just pink would make her hurl. She unwrapped the package to reveal a Floral Heart Trinket Box. The box was brushed silver with three flowers on the top right corner. On the lid there was her name and an inscription under it. It read: "Love is when you look into someone's eyes and see everything you need". Billie gasped as she read the inscription and tears welled up in her eyes. "Open it." Van told her. He had a surprise in there for her and didn't want to wait another minute to give it to her. "Huh?" Billie asked, not even hearing him. "Open it." Van said with a smile as he pointed to the lid. Billie lifted the lid to see a string of fresh water pearls. "Oh Van" she gasped as she took them out to examine closer. "You know the story of the pearl, right?" he asked. "No. But I suspect you're going to tell me." Billie said, speaking through her tears. Van chuckled at his wife before continuing. "See, a pearl is the most precious gem stone in the world. I figure, why not get the most precious stone in the world, for the most precious thing in my world. Pearls are also a symbol of purity, perfection and elegance…..just like you." Van said, smiling at his wife, before placing a kiss on her temple. For her part, Billie completely lost it and started to sob happily. "I love you." She sobbed. "I love you too." Van said kissing her gently.

"You know how a pear is formed?" Van asked. "No." Billie replied, still crying. "They form when an irritant gets under an oysters shell. They turn something foreign and uncomfortable into something beautiful." He explained. Billie understood perfectly what he was saying. "Like us." She said. "Yeah, I was the irritant to you and now look what we have." He said as he kissed the baby. "And let's face it Puddles, getting under your shell wasn't easy." Van commented. "Yeah, I suppose I was a bit defensive, huh?" Billie asked. "Like breaking into Fort Knox. Of course, given the hell you've been through in your life, I'm surprised that we've come this far in such a short time." He finished. Tears streamed down Billie's face again with renewed emotion. "Puddles?" She asked happily. "Yeah. You cry anymore, Bella and I are going to need an ark to get out of the hospital." Van joked.

Next, Billie picked up a small box wrapped in purple paper with a gold bow on top. She slowly opened it with a smile on her face. Once the paper was taken away, she opened the small jewelry box to reveal a beautiful Mother of Pearl Heart Locket. The locket had an intricate design on the front, inspired by the Victorian Era. On the back a Jewish Proverb was inscribed. It read: "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers." Billie gasped again as more tears streamed down her face. "I love you so much." She told Van. "And I love you too." She said to her daughter, kissing the infant for the millionth time that day. Van smiled before he spoke. "Open it." He told her. Billie opened the locket and was in awe of what she saw. On one side was a picture of her and Van from their wedding, but the other side was blank. "You can put her picture there." He told his crying wife, before pulling her against his side and laying back on the bed with his family. Within a couple minutes; Van, coming off the euphoria of the birth, and Billie, still exhausted from the birth were both asleep with little Bella resting on her father's chest.

One hour later… 

Van was awoken by small squawking sound. "Billie?" he whispered to his wife. "Hmm?" she asked, not even bothering to open her eyes. "Something is wrong with the alarm clock, it sounds weird." Van said, his eyes still closed. "Whatever." She mumbled, still keeping her eyes shut and trying to ignore the growing insistence of the noise. Suddenly, Billie's eyes popped open when she remembered that she'd had the baby and that is where the noise was coming from. "Oh. So that's the sound she makes." Billie said, sitting up and taking the baby off Van's chest. "Huh?" Van asked, finally opening his eyes. "The baby. This is what her crying sounds like. I can handle that." Billie explained. "Good handle it." Van said sleepily as his eyes began to drift shut. "How?" She asked him, honestly expecting an answer. "I don't know. This is my first kid." Van replied. "Well , neither do I!" She answered getting obviously upset. "Okay, I'm gonna go get a nurse then. They'll help us." Van replied as he got off the bed and headed for the door. "Hurry up." Billie replied. "I will, Van said as he walked out the door.

Once the door shut, Billie started to calm the child the best she could. "Please stop crying little baby. I don't know what to do. I've never been a mom before, so cut how about cutting me a break, huh?" she said hoping her child was special and could be reasoned with. Still, the baby cried, getting more upset. "Well, I guess you've never been a baby so this is a learning curve for both of us then." She said, resting the baby near her breast. She looked at the tiny child and noticed that she was making sucking motions with her mouth, like she was trying to find something to latch on to. For a brief moment, Billie was puzzled, until she remembered what her book and the lactation consultant in her class had said this meant. "Oh! You're hungry, huh?" She said. The baby continued to find something to nurse on. Billie called the nurse and told her she was ready to feed her baby for the first time. The woman came in, and together, she and Billie got the baby latched on and she started to feed contentedly, for the first time.

Fifteen minutes later, Van returned to the room, he'd gone downstairs to get them some lunch, since Billie obviously hadn't liked the hospital selection last time they were here, so why try to get her to eat it now? He walked down the hall and opened the door to a sight he never expected to see. There was Billie, patting the back of their sleeping baby. "You got her to stop crying." He said making his way farther into the room. "Yeah, she was hungry." Billie said. "And you fed her and now she's asleep again?" He asked surprised that Billie was able to figure this out. "Yeah. See Van? Not EVERYONE is afraid of me." She said with a cocky grin. Van looked at her stunned for a second, and then remembered what he'd said to her earlier. "Oh, yeah, sorry about that." Van said sheepishly as he sat the food down on her hospital table.

Billie looked at him, smiling briefly before asking, "So, what's for lunch?" Van took the food out of the bag as he told her what he'd gotten them. "Well, for me, I have a fish sandwich combo with chips and a coke. And for you, I got a fish sandwich, side salad and a Dasani to drink." Van explained as he pulled item after item out of the Wendy's bag and sat it on the table in front of them. "You take such good care of me!" She exclaimed seeing that he'd gotten her a balanced meal, but one she actually felt like eating. "Because I love you." Van said and kissed her. Van reached out and took the baby out of his wife's arms and put her in the bassinet. The infant grunted for a couple seconds once she was laid down until she got comfortable and drifted off to sleep.

The couple spent the next thirty minutes eating lunch, staring at their daughter, and chatting casually. "So, do you thing we're ready for this?" Van asked. "We better be, she's gonna be coming home with us tomorrow." Billie commented as she took a bite of her salad. "Tomorrow? I thought you would stay two or three days, not one!" Van argued. "Nope. One day is more than enough for me." She said with a smile. "Yeah, you always have been a horrible patient. I bet they'll be glad to get rid of you." Van snidely shot back. "Hey!" Billie snorted. "Seriously, though, don't you think that since this is your first baby it might be a good idea to stay a couple extra days? You know, give your blood pressure time to stay down, rest, get used to her." Van said, hoping to convince Billie to stay an extra day or two. "Yeah, I know. Give you time to figure out exactly how that damn car seat is supposed to fit in the car in the first place." Billie surmised with a snicker. "I know how to put that seat in!" Van defended. "Sure, Van." Billie retorted and rolled her blue eyes. "What makes you think I don't know how to put it in?" Van asked, hoping she didn't have a good answer for the question. "Well, for one, it wasn't in the car when we came to the hospital last night. And secondly, I heard you swearing at it last weekend in the garage." She said with a laugh. "It'll be in there tomorrow. Just you wait." Van growled and threw a French fry at his wife playfully. "Oh I'm sure you'll have it in there, but will it be safe for her to ride in?" Billie asked throwing the French fry back at her husband. "It's not gonna budge, smart ass." Van snarled. "Really? You want to make a bet on that?" Billie asked, with a wide grin. "What type of bet?" Van asked, the challenge in his voice clear. "Well, if you lose, you bring the baby to me when she needs to be fed, change all her diapers for 24 hours and soothe her when she's fussy while I sleep." Billie answered seriously. "And if you lose?" Van asked the final question. If I lose, I do all the baby care for 24 hours and you get to just be lazy. In addition, I'll cook you anything you want for dinner tomorrow night." She laid out the rest of the terms. "Okay. I'll bring Deaq with me to judge." Van said. "No." Billie flatly said. "Why not? We need a judge to tell us if I did the seat right or not." Van shot back. "I know. But we need an impartial judge. Deaq will be partial to take your side. We'll have the nurse that helps us out to the car, be the judge." Billie declared. "Deal." Van said and held his hand out for her to shake it. "Deal." She agreed, shaking his hand as a wide grin crept on her face.

Well, that's it! They have a baby! Let the games begin! Hehe

DKM: I had to add a bit of Deaq torture in there and Cheech and Chong just came to me out of no where. I'm glad it worked and you liked it. I hope you like the baby's name!


	27. Chapter 27

Ch 27 The End of the World as we Know It

A/N They aren't mine. I'm not McG. I don't work for FOX. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Monday morning dawned all to early for Van. He rolled out of bed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He'd stayed at the hospital with Billie and the baby until after 9pm and had to come home and work on the car seat. He got to work around 11pm and finally gave up around 3am. Now it was 7am and he only hoped that the seat would pass the test so that he could rest while Billie took care of the baby. "Yeah right. I'm sure she's not gonna let me get away with that." He thought as he walked to the closet to pick out his clothes while he grabbed the phone to call his wife. The phone rang twice before a groggy voice answered, "Hello?" Came the tired voice of his wife. "Well good morning sunshine!" He gleefully greeted her, trying not to laugh at what he could imagine her face looked like at that moment. "Van, what the hell do you want at such an ungodly hour?" she snapped. "Why I just wanted to see how my beautiful wife and daughter are doing this fine spring morning! What's the crime in that?" He answered, the amusement in his voice carrying across the phone line loud and clear. "Blow it our your ass, Donnie!" Billie barked back. "Ooh, pissy. Did you not sleep well last night, sweetheart?" he cooed at her. "Van, I can and will hurt you!" she continued to growl. Hearing this, Van snickered and decided to leave her alone before she made good on that threat. "Okay, I'm done. I just wanted to tell you that I'd be over in about and hour and a half or so." He said sweetly, hoping she wasn't too pissed at his aggravating her. "Fine." she muttered. "How's Bella?" Van asked, genuinely curious. "Well, unlike me, she's actually asleep." Billie said, the pissiness returning as she looked in the bassinet at the sleeping child. "Well, I should let you do the same then, huh?" her husband chuckled. "That would be nice." Billie said back dryly. "Okay, well get some sleep and I'll see you in a bit." Van instructed. "Okay." Came the yawning reply as Billie laid down on the pillow again. "I love you Billie." Van said before he hung up to get ready for the day. "Whatever." She grumbled and hung up the phone.

At a little after 9 o'clock, there was a knock at Billie's door. "Come in!" She called as she readjusted Bella in her arms. Billie had just finished feeding the baby and was burping her when the door opened to reveal her sleepy husband. "Hi Van! What happened? You look like hell!" Billie chirped, seeing that he'd been up most of the night and she could get her revenge on him for being so damn chipper at the ass crack of dawn, like he was. "You look good too, Billie" Van grumbled and made his way farther into her room until he was standing beside his family. He ran his hand lightly over the baby's soft brown hair as he gave Billie a gentle kiss. "Good morning" He said as he raised the shopping bag he had with him and sat it on the bed. "What's that?" Billie asked, eyeing the bag. "Open it." Van said, smiling down at his wife as he took Bella out of her arms. "Hello sweet pea. How is daddy's little princess this morning?" Van cooed as he brought his daughter up to his shoulder and she snuggled into him. "You know Van, every relationship is set in the first five minutes. You've impressed upon her that she's a little princess and now she's gonna act like it." Billie snickered. "You know, Billie, I've always impressed upon you that you're a bitch and you still act like a spoiled princess. What's up with that?" Van said, half joking. In response, Billie stuck her tongue out playfully at her husband, causing them both to laugh before she opened the bag Van sat on the bed. Billie opened it and pulled out a bundle of pink things. She sat it all on the bed and picked up each item of clothing separately. First she picked up a white sleeper with pink floral print embroidered on it. Next, she picked up the pink cap that had the same floral embroidery. Finally, Billie looked at the pink baby booties that had appliqué flowers on the toes with a pink ribbon across it. The final touch on the outfit was the bib. It was a pink scalloped bib with heart embroidery on the front and the words "Sweet Princess" in pink stitching to match the flowers. "Oh Van! It's beautiful!" Billie cooed as tears welled up in her eyes. Van smiled down at his wife. "You like it?" he asked her. "Oh very much!" Billie answered. "Well, what about this to go with it?" Van asked as he pulled a pink receiving blanket that Billie had missed out of the bag. Billie saw the blanket and smiled. "How did you do all this? What made you think of it all?" Billie asked him, the tears still in her eyes. "Well, I got all this last night after I left here. I did it because I know how much you wanted a daughter. When she was born, I just knew that she had to have oodles of pink things for her mommy to dress her up in." Van explained. Billie looked from her husband to her baby as the tears began to flow down her cheeks. Gently, Van sat on the bed and pulled her into a hug with his free arm. "So, I take I this means you're happy." Van stated, a satisfactory smile on his face. "I've never been happier. Or more in love with a man in my life." Billie said as more tears slid down her cheeks, wetting Van's shirt. "I'm glad I made you happy. I love you too. You're the most important thing in the world to me, Billie." Van whispered and kissed the top of her head.

For the next two hours, Van and Billie got things ready to head home. Dr. Vickie came in and checked Billie out. Satisfied that she was doing well, she started to discharge her. Next, a nurse came in and Billie accompanied her baby down to the nursery to have her final weigh in and check up before the pediatrician would discharge her. When she came back, Van was sitting on the bed laying out Bella's things for her to be dressed in. "How is she?" Van asked when Billie came back in the room, wheeling the bassinet. "She's fine. They're going to start to discharge her so we can all go home." Billie said. "That's great!" Van exclaimed. Just then, a knock came at the door. "Yeah?" Van called as Billie laid the baby on the bed to change her diaper and dress her. "Hi. I'm Angela Douglas from Birth Records downstairs." The short redhead told them as she entered the room. "I hear you three are going home today." The woman said as she took a seat by the window and watched how Billie lovingly tended to her child. "She's a beautiful baby." The young woman said. "Thank you." Billie said as she looked up at Angela and smiled. "I just need to go over her birth certificate with you two before you leave." She explained as she looked at the papers on her clipboard. "So, she was born on May 14th, 2005 at 6:47am, right?" The questions began. "She was." Van replied. "And she weighed 8lbs 10oz and 21 inches?" Came the next question. "Correct" Van answered again, as Billie was busy giving Bella her full attention as she put on the new pink outfit. "Ouch" Angela said under her breath. That got Billie's attention. "Yup. She tried to kill me." Billie joked, causing Angela and Van to laugh. "She has a name?" Came the next question. "Yes she does." Billie replied picking up the freshly dressed infant and lightly wrapping her in a blanket, before she sat down to feed the baby again. "What's her name? Last name first." The hospital employee asked the excited, but tired new parents. "Her last name is Ray." Billie supplied. "And her first and middle" Came the next questions. "Bella Aislin" Van answered as Billie got comfortable and started to feed the baby. "That's a beautiful name. Okay, I just need the parent's signatures on these two lines and you'll be getting her birth certificate." Van took the clipboard and looked at it, finding his place to sign. "Donovan Ray" Van whispered. At the sound of his name, Billie looked up and started to make a smart ass comment, but was stopped in her tracks. "Shut up Wilhelmina!" Van hissed at his wife, causing Angela to wonder, _"Gosh, these two have such odd names, how did this baby get so lucky?" _Next, it was Billie's turn to sign. After she surreptitiously gave her husband the finger, she smirked at him and took the pen that was offered her. "Okay." Billie said and picked up the pen to sign the form at the designated spot. Before she could sign, she stopped and stared. "Mother's name." She whispered as she looked form the paper to the baby in her arms. "Oh. That would be me, wouldn't it?" She said in shock. "Yes dear. She's your baby." Angela said with a laugh. No matter how many times she went through this situation with first time parents, it always made her smile. Billie smiled and signed the paper. It was as if that was her license to actually be a mother to this child. "Thank you both. You'll be getting this before you leave. Congratulations you two." Angela said and quickly walked back to her office to get the copy for the parents.

As soon as Angela left the room, Van spoke to Billie. "I think that means she's officially ours to keep." Van commented. "I think we did pretty well, don't you?" Billie asked. "What do you mean?" Van questioned his wife. "I mean, I think they're proud of us for not giving her a weird name." Billie said with a quiet laugh as she pulled Bella off her breast and brought the infant up to her shoulder to burp her. "Doesn't that hurt?" Van blurted out. "Does what hurt?" Billie asked, honestly not knowing what he was talking about. "Feeding her?" Van elaborated. "Yeah." Billie replied simply. "Is it bad?" Van asked. "Bad enough not to let you touch them again for awhile." Billie answered with a smile, realizing where Van was going with that. Van stuck his tongue out at his wife, causing her to laugh, as there came a knock at the door. Van looked just in time to see a nurse entering with the flowers he'd asked to have delivered this morning. "Mrs. Ray, you have a surprise!" the nurse sang as she advanced into the room and sat the bouquet next to Billie. Billie gasped when she saw the flowers. She'd been sent a beautiful bouquet of six red stargazer lilies and six large red roses in a hand blown crystal vase. Van whistled his approval at the arrangement. "Van, did you send me flowers?" Billie asked her husband as she took the card out from the arrangement. "No, why would I do that?" Van asked, playing dumb, a game Billie knew he was good at. Billie gave him a sideways glance as she took the simple card out of the envelope and began to read. "Dear Billie, I lied. Love, Me" She read what was on the card and smiled up at Van, tears running down her face again. "Thank you." She whispered happily as she looked from the incredible man in front of her, to the flowers next to her. Billie still felt like she was dreaming sometimes. "I don't know how I got lucky enough to be loved by such a wonderful woman, but I am so glad I have you in my life." Van said as he walked over to Billie and stooped down in front of her, wiping the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs. "You got lucky? I'm the lucky one. I have a beautiful daughter and the best husband one could wish for. I just wish I knew what I did to deserve you loving me so much." Billie said happily. "You're you. That's what you did." Van whispered and leaned in to kiss her gently as the nurse crept quietly out of the room to leave the lovebirds alone.

Another hour later, and Billie was being wheeled out of the hospital to her Mercedes, her newborn in her arms. When they got out to the car, Van took the various bags and gifts off the hospital cart and put them in the car before opening the door for Billie and taking Bella to put her in her seat. "Nuh uh" Billie said defiantly as Van waited for her to get in the car. "What?" Van asked. "The bet. Or do you just want to forfeit?" Billie said with a grin, knowing her husband never backed out of a bet. "It's on." Van told his wife. Billie smiled wickedly and turned to the nurse. "Do you mind checking the seat to make sure it's in correctly?" She asked sweetly. "I don't want my baby to ride home if it's not safe." She supplied when the nurse, Gina, hesitated. That did it. "Sure thing Mrs. Ray. Infant safety is very important here." Gina said and checked the seat over. Van shot Billie a dirty look when he realized she'd just suckered the nurse into taking her side, by playing the protective mother card. "That's cheating." Van hissed in her ear as they both waited for the verdict. Van hoping that the seat was good enough, Billie knowing she'd get to take a nice long nap when she got home. "Cheating? Why Van, I would never do that to you. I'm just concerned that my baby will get killed in that death trap of yours." Billie said with a snicker. "Billie" Van growled at his wife before the nurse gave her opinion. "Who put this seat in?" the petite Latino woman asked. "I did" Van answered sheepishly, knowing Billie had won. "Did you not read the instructions?" The nurse asked, causing Billie to crumple back into the wheelchair in a fit of laughter. "Van doesn't follow simple directions very well." She supplied in between fits of laughter. "I suppose you could do better, smart ass?" Van shot at his postpartum wife. "As a matter of fact, I could." Billie retorted confidently, with a smile. "Go ahead." Van challenged. "I will." Billie said and got out of the chair and began to work with the seat.

Ten minutes later, Gina was looking over the car seat after Billie had strapped it in. Gina inspected the seat as Billie walked around in circles, quietly shushing the fussing infant in her arms. Van walked over to his wife and quietly commented, "I remember a time when I thought you didn't like children." "I don't like any children but my own." Billie replied with a snicker, walking back over to the car, seeing that the nurse was done. "Well?" Van asked anxiously. In response, Gina took Bella out of Billie's arms and buckled her in the seat and adjusted the harness. "It looks like you're all set to go! See ya next time!" The nurse said and quickly left the two alone, seeing the look that appeared on Billie's face. "And pigs will fly." Billie muttered as she closed the door and got in the passenger side front seat. Van smiled to himself and ran around to the drivers door and hopped in next to his wife. He started the engine put the car in reverse. Before backing out of the parking space, Van looked back at his sleeping daughter in her infant seat and then at his wife. He placed a quick peck on her lips and said, "I love you." In response, Billie smiled and said, "lets go home." Van backed out of the space and drove towards the exit. While waiting for an opening in the traffic so he could turn on the crowded road, Billie's words popped back into his head. Van pointed at a big sign in the shape of a pig wearing an apron, for a barbeque restaurant down the street and said, "Look honey, a flying pig!" with a sharp laugh. Billie just glared at Van and punched him in the arm…hard. "Owe! It looks like someone is overdue for their nap." Van cooed patronizingly. "Just shut up and drive, jackass!" Billie shot back, the pissiness clear in her tone.

The couple pulled up the driveway of their new home and got out of the car. Van walked around to the trunk and got the bag and Billie's flowers out of the trunk as Billie carried Bella in her arms and the keys in her hand. When she unlocked the door, she met with a happy voice, "Billie! Van! Welcome home!" Ruby greeted happily as she walked out of the kitchen. "Hi!" Billie said happily. She hadn't expected anyone to be there when she got home. The two women embraced, then Ruby gave Van a quick hug before shouting up the stairs "Guys, they're back!" "Who else is here?" Billie asked her husband, knowing that he'd known they would be here when they got back. "You'll see." Van said proudly as he waited for people to come down the stairs. A moment later, Bob walked down the stairs followed by Deaq, Lori, and Jeremy, who was carrying Tristen. "Hi Billie!" Bob said and gave her a hug. "Hello princess." He cooed at Bella as Billie transferred the baby into his arms. It was then that Billie noticed her sister, brother-in-law and nephew standing next to Deaq. "Lori! Oh my god! I didn't expect you hear so quickly!" Billie exclaimed and rushed over to give her little sister a big hug. "Of course, I'm here. You've had a baby!" Lori exclaimed when she pulled away and pushed Jeremy forward. "Wil, this is my husband Jeremy." Lori introduced them. "Hi Jeremy." Billie said with a smile and hugged him. "And who is this?" She asked, eyeing the little boy with sandy blond hair in Jeremy's arms. "This is Tristen." Jeremy introduced the toddler. "Well hi there, sweetie." Billie said to the little boy as he held his arms out to her. "I think he likes you." Lori told her older sister. Billie laughed and took the child out of his fathers arms and walked with him over to the baby, who had been given to Deaq. "Bella, this is your cousin Tristen." She told her daughter. "Can you say hi to Bella?" She asked Tristen. "Baby!" the little boy said happily pointing at Bella. "Yeah, baby! Very good!" Lori praised her son as she walked up to them. Without warning, Tristen touched Lori's stomach and again said, "Baby!" Billie looked at the sheepish smile on her sisters face, and it hit her. "You're pregnant!" She squealed happily! Lori just nodded and hugged her sister.

After congratulations spread around the room and the siblings calmed down, Bob spoke up. "Well, lunch will be ready soon, so let's go upstairs and show the baby her room." He suggested. "That's a good idea. What did you all do to it?" Billie said and followed him up the stairs followed by everyone else. "You'll see, Billie." Came Deaq's cryptic reply. Billie looked back at Van with a questioning look. Van just shrugged and mouthed the words 'I don't know'. This time he really had no idea and was glad he didn't have to lie to his wife. The group made it to the top of the landing and walked into Bella's nursery. Billie looked around and saw one of the surprises above the crib. Someone had gotten white wall hanging letters that spelled Bella's name and hung them over her crib. Billie let out an approving gasp as she took in the sight of what had been done. "Oh, it's beautiful!" She said as a lump formed in her throat. "I'm glad you like them." Deaq said and walked up to Billie for a hug. "Deaq! Thank you! They're perfect!" Billie exclaimed as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Well, lunch is ready and there are a couple more things downstairs." Ruby said, getting everyone's attention. The group made it down to the kitchen and Van took Bella from Deaq and put her in the baby hammock so that he could eat with both hands. There was a lunch spread of fried chicken, German potato salad, and yeast rolls. To finish off the meal was a rich peanut butter pie. "Before we eat, we'd like the two of you to open the other gifts." Bob said with a smile carrying two boxes in his hands and sitting them on the glass table in front of Billie. Van sat next to his wife and watched as she picked at the neat silver wrapping paper of the first medium sized box. "This one is from Lori and Jeremy" Billie said as she picked the neatly done, silver wrapping and white bow from around the box. She opened the lid and took out two white body suits with red trim and red writing across the chest. The first outfit said "I see a nap in my future" and the second one said, "A surprise will appear in my pants". Reading the last one, Billie laughed. "Those will be accurate for moths to come, Billie" Jeremy said with a laugh of his own. "Thanks guys" Billie and Van said in unison as Billie gave the box to Van so she could open the green and yellow gift bag from Ruby and Bob. She pulled a box out the bag that said "New Parent Apology Cards" on the lid. "You'll need those, Billie. It's an ironclad certainty of being a parent. You'll apologize for her everywhere you go." Ruby told the new mother with a smile. Billie chuckled as she opened the box and looked at the cards. "Read one." Deaq said with a smile, sure they'd be hysterical. "Okay, let's see. This one!" Billie said as she flipped through them to find one that looked appropriately hysterical. It didn't take long to find the right one. "It says, it is to engage in severe understatement to suggest that things have been amplified on our side of the fence lately. The 3A.M. crying has become extraordinary. In fact, it probably comes as little surprise to you to learn that we've been contacted by the FBI about putting our baby's eardrum-busting cry on loudspeaker for use in standoffs with militia compounds. We are so very sorry. You're complimentary ear plugs will arrive shortly" Billie read, laughing so hard at the end that she could barely speak. "That's great!" Van said, gasping for air in between fits of laughter. "Fantastic!" Billie agreed, wiping tears from her eyes as she tried to regain her composure.

After the group finished laughing at the cards, everyone got a plate of food and sat around eating and talking, for the next thirty minutes. Suddenly, there came a little cry from the baby hammock. "She's awake, Van." Billie said with a smile. "I hear her." Van answered as the cry grew louder and more insistent by the second. "Well, aren't you gonna pick her up?" Billie asked, the smile growing on her face. "Why can't you do it?" Van questioned dumbly. "I didn't lose the bet." Billie stated simply. "The bet, oh yeah. Dammit." Van muttered as he put is plate down and went to pick up his daughter. And so Van and Billie's adventures in parenthood started.

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Okay, yes, I realize it's been awhile. I've been busy! School, work, wedding, daughter. Oh, and we have a new baby on the way! Life is hectic! I hope to update again next time, faster!

DKM: Well, Billie came out on top in this one! Of course, that wasn't much of a surprise, now was it? I hope you like this chapter and it was worth waiting for!

Simbagirl: I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

Nr. Six: Welcome aboard!


	28. Chapter 28

Ch 28 Butterfly Kisses

A/N I don't own Fastlane or it's characters. R/R!

Billie groaned and tried to block out the insistent high pitched noise coming from the bassinet that was next to the king sized bed where she and Van were sleeping.. The noise sounded a lot like the bleating of a newborn fawn. No matter how hard she tried, the noise kept growing. Finally, Billie cracked open one eye and peeked into the bassinet to find her 4 week old daughter, awake and hungry. Billie looked at the alarm clock by the bed and, realizing it was only 3am, groaned. She reached in and put her hand on the tiny infant hoping to calm her down without having to offer her the breast. Bella had developed quite the appetite, and ate every three hours around the clock now. "I guess you have no concept of what a Sunday is, huh baby?" She asked her child as she sat up and prepared to nurse the little girl back to sleep. Before Billie could take the baby out of her bed and place her on the breast, Van woke up and put his hand on Billie's shoulder to lay her back down. "I'll get her. You've earned your sleep." Van said groggily as he placed a soft, loving kiss on Billie's temple before getting up to lift his daughter out of her bed and take her to get a bottle. "Hey there, sweet baby. Are you hungry? Let's go get you a bottle and give mommy some peace and quite." Van cooed to his daughter as he lifted her against his strong, bare chest. "Go back to sleep, honey." He said to his wife with a smile, noticing that she was watching him intently. Still, Billie stared on, a sleepy smile brightening her beautiful face. Van picked up Bella's little fist and waved it at Billie as they headed for the door. "Good night, Mommy. I love you." He said in a little girl voice. Billie smiled at this and laid down. "Good night you two. I love you both." She sleepily mumbled.

Van carried his daughter downstairs towards the kitchen where Billie had a couple bottles already prepared for him to heat up. As he sat a bottle of milk in a saucepan of hot water and waited for it to get warm, he gently swayed with the tiny girl in his arms to keep her calm. "Okay, sweetie, it's chow time." Van told her as he removed the bottle and checked the temperature before taking a seat in the black leather recliner and grabbing the remote before giving the crying infant her much anticipated midnight buffet. "Well, let's see what's on television." Van said softly as he switched on the device and began to look through the channels. Soon, he stopped on A&E, seeing that there was something he liked on. "See that baby? That's Neil Diamond. He's the best singer ever. Your mommy would laugh at me for teaching you that, but she's not here. When she's around, some bad ass boy toy named Dave Navarro is the best ever." Van said with an exaggerated shudder. What he hadn't noticed is that Billie had quietly crept downstairs to watch the two of them, when she thought Van would be too busy to notice her. When Billie saw the shudder at the mention of Dave Navarro, she about bust out laughing. After all, she and Van had had their fair share of discussions about what in the world women liked about that guy anyway. Still, she kept her composure and watched the sweet scene before her as Van continued to talk to his daughter.

"I think she just likes him because it bugs me. She says he reminds her of me. Why she needs reminding of me, I don't know. When we go to work, she spends all day telling me what to do." Van explained his logic to the baby. "That's right sweetheart, Sassy is the boss. Did you know that?" Van asked his daughter as she looked at him with the greenish eyes she'd inherited from him. Except for her eyes and hair, Bella was the spitting image of Billie, and Van wouldn't have it any other way. Billie continued to stand at the entrance to the family room and watch her family quietly as tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of how much she loved those two.

"Bella, this is your second bottle ever, you know. I bet your mom is upstairs doing what she did when I gave you your first one yesterday. Do you remember that? I do. Well let me tell you all about it. You're mommy is going to go back to work in a couple weeks with me, so your doctor said we should give you a bottle to get used to it, now." Van began to explain animatedly as the baby finished the last of her bottle. "Well, after one of your naps, we decided it was time to give the bottle a try. Only, mommy couldn't do it, so I got to. And you know what? You ate it and went back to sleep, just fine. So, after you were asleep, I went to find mom and see what she was up to. And when I found her, she was outside crying and babbling about how she wasn't ready for this and you're growing up to fast." Van finished telling his daughter as he sat the bottle on the table next to him and lifted the infant to his shoulder to burp her. "See? That's just proof of how much she actually loves you, Bella." Van told the sleepy child as he patted her back.

It was then that Billie decided to make her presence known to Van and the baby. She walked into the living room, tear tracks staining her cheeks. "That's how much I love you both." She whispered as she walked over to the chair. Van stood up and looked at his wife with a smile on his face. "And we love you too. I love you." Van said as he pulled Billie into his chest with his free arm and pressed his lips into her hair as she hugged him with one arm and ran her fingers over Bella's head with the other hand. "Let's go to bed." Van said as he led his wife to the stairs. "Let's go." Billie agreed with a smile as she followed her husband. Billie swore that since he'd become a father, Van had become even more sexy than she ever thought possible.

A couple minutes later, Billie laid Bella down in her bassinet and climbed into bed next to her husband, snuggling against his firm chest as she sighed contentedly. Van wrapped one of his strong arms around her waist and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Billie laced her fingers with his and pulled him closer as she snuggled down farther into the sheets. Van's lips moved from her shoulder to her neck, as he pulled his wife closer. "Van, we can't." Billie quickly protested before she let herself get to wrapped up in Van's affections. "What's the matter?" Van asked as he leaned up on his elbow. "We can't. It's not the right time." Billie explained, rolling over to face her husband. "You heard the doctor honey. She said you're fine we can start…" Van began before Billie cut him off. "No, no, no. It's not that." Billie quickly said before he got the wrong idea. "Then what is it?" He asked gently. Billie looked down and didn't answer. "Billie, talk to me. What's wrong?" Van gently coaxed her as he placed his fingers gently under her chin to look at him. "We just can't. What if she wakes up?" She finally answered him. Van chuckled as Billie looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "What's so funny?" She asked as he continued to laugh. "You." Van told her as he kissed her forehead firmly. "And why is my worrying about our daughter so funny?" Billie asked, a hint of amusement at his laughter in her voice. "Because" Van answered trying to come up with the right way to explain his reason. "Wow, that's vague" She sarcastically replied. "Smart ass." Van quipped. "It's funny because you are such a mom now! Two years ago, I never would have imagined you like this." Van finally elaborated on his answer. "Having a baby does that to a person. You don't find yourself worrying about things more, where Bella's concerned?" Billie asked. "Sure. The other day, Deaq and I were in a little situation where we were driving too fast" Van began to explain. "And someone was shooting at you" Billie supplied, causing Van to give her a dirty look and tweak her nose before continuing. "Anyway," he supplied dramatically "I suddenly realized that I didn't have my seatbelt on. Immediately I thought of the two of you, what if I died. Who would take care of you? Who would put Bella down for her nap and be around to listen to you talk about your day?" Van answered smiling at her as he glanced over her shoulder at the sleeping infant. "I love you." Billie cooed and pulled him in for a deep kiss. As they kissed, Van rolled Billie onto her back as his hands roamed over her body. "I've missed you, so much." He whispered as his lips kissed her neck, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from his wife.

"She's still asleep." Van whispered quietly. "Uhuh." Billie agreed as she laid with her head on his bare chest, running her nails up and down his body. Van captured her hand with his, and kissed her damp hair. "I almost forgot how much I love doing that with you." Van commented, running his hand over her naked, back. Billie was still breathing heavily from their lovemaking as she snuggled deeper into Van and ran kisses from his chest all the way up to his lips. There, she lingered to savor the sweet, simple taste of him. "I'm so lucky to have you." She whispered as she broke the kiss and laid her head back on his chest and closed her eyes. "I'm the lucky one." Van whispered into her hair as he traced patterns over her upper arm and listened as her breathing became slow and deep to indicate that she'd fallen asleep. For several minutes, Van just laid there, watching his wife sleep and thinking about their future together. He knew Billie was the only woman for him and that this marriage would last forever. Soon, he grew tired of thinking and nodded off as well.

There's two things I know for sure  
She was sent here from heaven, and she's Daddy's little girl.  
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night  
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes  
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life, oh but most of all...

The day was early to start in the Ray household. Just before six o'clock, Bella started to chirp for her next feeding. At the first noise, Billie sat up and lifted the squawking infant out of her bed and brought her to her breast. "Maybe she's not ready to eat yet." Van mumbled, sleepily from beside the bed. "My boobs disagree with you Van." Billie said dryly as she latched the hungry child on. "And so does Bella" she finished as she watched her daughter eat. Van laughed. "What?" Billie asked, annoyed at his jubilance this early in the day. "You're such a mom!" He said with a final fit of laughter. "I know. You caused it. Remember?" Billie snidely commented. "I know. Don't make me cause it again." Van said, with mock sternness. "Maybe we'll talk seriously about that in a year." Billie said. "A year?" Van asked, disappointment in his voice. "Unless you want to get pregnant?" Billie half asked, half stated. "I think we'll wait a year to discuss this again" he quickly conceded as Billie finished feeding the baby and handed her to Van to burp.

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer  
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair  
Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride  
I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried  
Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right  
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

The rest of the day went well. Van had French toast, sausage and coffee for breakfast. Billie rented a few of his favorite DVD's, and while Van lounged on the couch with his daughter to watch them, Billie cleaned the house, barbequed the chicken, made the potato salad and grilled the corn, for dinner when Bob, Ruby and Deaq came over that night. She had decided to save the presents for when everyone was there to see Van's reaction.

Sweet sixteen today  
She's looking like her Mama, a little more everyday.  
One part woman, the other part girl  
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.  
Trying her wings out in a great big world  
But I remember...

About 6 pm, the doorbell rang. Billie trotted down the stairs wearing a low cut black dress with purple flowers on it and black sling back heels. Her hair was curled and pulled back with a gold and lilac clip. Van stood at the bottom of the stairs wearing a lilac button down shirt with gold and onyx studded cufflinks and black slacks that hugged his slender hips. In her baby swing in the living room, Bella sat swinging contentedly. She wore a short sleeved, cotton lilac dress with white lace trim and white socks. Around her head was a lace hair band with little lilac rose buds on it. When Van saw Billie come down the stairs, he couldn't help but smile as he whistled approvingly. Billie smiled slyly and headed for the door to see who was there. As she reached the bottom, and walked past Van to the door, he reached out and pinched her ass playfully. "Hey!" Billie shrieked with a laugh as she turned around to swat at his hand. "Owe!" Van whined playfully as he pulled her in for a deep kiss. The pair kissed passionately and ignored the doorbell. After a solid thirty seconds, there came a fourth ring and a loud knock. Van pulled away from Billie and took her hand as he walked to the door to answer it.

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer  
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.  
You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind  
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.  
With all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right  
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

"Deaq! Hey man! How's it going?" Van greeted cheerfully as he and Billie stepped aside to let their partner and employee, inside the spacious foyer. Deaq just looked at Van with a wide grin on his face. "Having a good Father's Day?" he asked, taking in the lipstick prints on Van's lips. "Yeah. It's been great." Van said sheepishly when he realized what Deaq saw on him. Deaq ignored him and looked at Billie. "Isn't that how you got pregnant the first time?" he asked with a snicker. At this, Billie's eyes narrowed on the ornery little shit, as her jaw tightened and her arms crossed in that angry way she usually did. After a tense minute, she uncrossed her arms and gave Deaq the finger, before walking towards the kitchen to check on dinner. Van chuckled immediately, upon seeing the obscene gesture. Before he could close the door, he heard to voices. "You had that one coming, Deaq." Bob said plainly. "Remember, she can still blame the hormones for awhile." Ruby said as she walked up next to her husband. The foursome exchanged their hellos before Bob went to see Billie and Ruby went to pick up Bella for a cuddle.

All the precious time,  
Oh, like the wind the years go by.  
Precious butterfly,  
Spread your wings and fly.

A few minutes later, the group sat down for their meal. Van sat his sleeping daughter, in her bouncy seat next to him on the floor. "Billie you look gorgeous tonight." Deaq commented as he took a bite of the chicken. "Why thank you Deaq. I'm glad SOMEONE noticed." Billie said with a teasing look at her husband. "Hey! I noticed! I think you look wonderful!" Van defended himself playfully. "Apparently" Deaq said dryly, referring to what he'd seen earlier. Billie stuck her tongue out at him as the others at the table laughed and continued to eat and chat. "When do you think you'll be coming back to work?" Bob asked her. "I don't know. Maybe a month." She answered honestly. "A month?" Bob asked, hoping he'd heard her wrong. "Yeah." Billie said with a smile. "I can't take care of them for a month! I'll go crazy!" he exclaimed, referring to Van and Deaq. "Why? Are they making you go gray?" Billie snidely remarked. "I'm gonna just chalk that one up to hormones." Bob said as he eyed her sternly, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

She'll change her name today.  
She'll make a promise, and I'll give her away.  
Standing in the brideroom just staring at her  
She asks me what I'm thinking, and I said I'm not sure.  
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl,  
And she leaned over...

Half an hour later and everyone was in the living room, talking and having coffee. Van had Bella on his lap when Billie came back into the room and sat two gifts on the table in front of him. "What are these?" Van asked, smiling. "Open them. One is from me and one is from Bella" she told him as she retook her seat next to him and took the baby out of his arms. Van smiled as he picked up the medium square box wrapped in black paper with different color neckties on it and a white bow on top. Everyone watched anxiously as Van carefully removed the bow and then ripped off the paper in an animated fashion. He lifted the lid off the box to reveal a lovely 5'x 7' contemporary picture frame. As Van stared at it, he took in the picture. It was one Deaq had taken of him and Bella when he got home from his first day back at work. It was a simple black and white photograph of Van holding Bella in his hands protectively as he placed a sweet kiss on her soft little cheek. Next he noticed the inscription. On the bottom of the frame in lovely script was written: "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection" –Sigmund Freud After Van read the inscription out loud, he looked up at his wife and daughter with tears in his eyes. Just the emotion on his face, made Billie tear up instantly as well. "I love you." He said to his daughter and kissed her cheek lightly. "And I love you too." He finally said to his wife and placed a simple kiss on her lips. "I love you" she whispered as he pulled away and the small group let out a collective "aww" at the spontaneous display of affection. Next, Van picked up the white envelope with a blue bow on it and slipped it open. He pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded over into thirds. When he opened the paper, two smaller slips fell onto his lap. He picked up the slips and read them carefully. "No way." He muttered as he read. Billie smiled and laughed. "Really?" Van asked her, not quite ready to believe what the paper said. "Yeah. Just you and me for an entire weekend!" Billie happily told him. "When?" Van asked, still in shock. "September 5th-8th" She answered her delighted husband. "What is in September?" Deaq asked, not knowing what was going on. "We're going to see Neil Diamond in Las Vegas!" Van exclaimed excitedly. Bob and Ruby just beamed. Billie had told them that she was working on getting tickets for this. Unfortunately, they would be out of town the same weekend, so it would be up to Deaq to watch Bella. "Wow! That is so cool! And they will watch the baby?" Deaq asked, gesturing to the older couple across from him. "Well, you see, that's the one problem." Billie began. "Problem?" Van and Deaq said in unison, suddenly very interested in where she was going with this. "Yeah, they're going to be out of town that same weekend, so we need someone trustworthy to watch the baby. Deaq?" Billie said sweetly, deciding flattery was a good tactic to get what she wanted. "You couldn't trust me with your best friend, Billie. How can you call me trustworthy with your daughter?" Deaq pointed out. "Because if you even try to do that with my daughter, I'll send you directly to hell, Deaq." She replied in a sweet tone, batting her long eyelashes, innocently at him. Deaq sighed and agreed to watch the baby that weekend.

Gave me butterfly kisses with her Mama there  
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.  
Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it's just about time.  
Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy?  
Daddy, don't cry.  
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right.  
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses,  
I couldn't ask God for more, than this is what love is.  
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember...  
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses.

Thirty minutes later, the trio was ready to leave the new family alone to spend the rest of their evening in peace, to enjoy each other's company. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Van took Billie's hand and led her upstairs, his daughter in his arms. Once upstairs Van to got the little girl in her in her mint green sleeper and tucked her into her bassinet before stripping out of his clothes and climbing into bed himself. A couple minutes later, Billie had changed into her yellow nightgown and joined her husband in their big, cozy bed for the night. "Did you have a good Father's Day?" she asked as she turned off the light and snuggled into his side. "The best one yet." Van said happily. "Good." Billie chuckled. Already she was looking forward to what she could do for him next year. "I love you" Van whispered as he kissed the top of her head. " I love you too." Billie agreed as she kissed his strong jaw before laying her head on his hard shoulder and drifting off to sleep.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

There it is! The long awaited update! I hope you enjoy it. I have no idea when I'll have time to post again.

DKM: I hope this is enough precious Van/Bella moments for you! There won't be a whole lot of Bella in the next chapter, but you will get some precious Van/Billie moments! And before you ask, yes, I had to mention Neil Diamond!

Simbagirl: I hope you loved this one too! I haven't heard from you in awhile. I hope things are going well.


	29. Chapter 29

Ch 29 Somebody Like You

A/N: Not mine. Do not sue. No babies or puppies were harmed in the making of this chapter; only Van's psyche.

Music: "Somebody like You" Keith Urban

"Are you done packing yet?" Van asked his wife as he walked back in the bedroom from the nursery, a freshly diapered 3.5-month-old Bella in his arms. "Almost." Billie said sadly as she put a black sweater in her bag. "What's the matter honey?" Van asked as he entered the room and laid the baby on the floor with a couple toys. "Nothing important." Billie said as she watched him lay the baby down on her tummy. "Talk to me, Sassy." Van said seriously as he ran his fingers through her hair before sitting on the bed and pulling her onto his lap. "Are you sure she's old enough for us to leave her?" Billie said, tears welling up in her eyes at the thought of leaving her baby. "She'll be fine. We have everything set up for her and Deaq." Van reassured his wife. "Deaq isn't really a baby person. Maybe we should wait until Bob and Ruby get back and then go." She continued to argue. "What makes you think Deaq isn't a baby person? He's perfectly capable of taking care of someone else." Van defended his friend. "Van, I've seen Deaq. He can't take care of himself, let alone a baby." Billie told him seriously. "He can take care of others. Remember when I was poisoned? Well, unlike _some_ people, he was in the emergency room with me the whole time." Van half-heartedly argued. Billie did have a point, but Van didn't want her to know that he thought that. "Of course he was. Someone had to be getting beaten half to death by an angry British man to get the code that saved your life." She slyly argued with a slick smile. Van groaned at this, conceding partial defeat. "Okay, maybe he's not the most experienced person to be doing this, but he won't do anything to the baby." Van tried again to reassure her. "How do you know?" She shot back, getting off his lap and continuing to pack. "Because if he does anything, I'll shoot him in the ass again." Van said with a chuckle, causing Billie to laugh, before throwing a plum negligee at him and ordering, "Put that in the bag too". Van smiled and did as ordered.

A couple minutes later, the packing was done, and Billie picked the infant off the floor. "What if he paralyzes her?" She asked, seemingly out of nowhere. "What?" Van asked, not entirely sure he'd heard her correctly. "You heard me. What if he breaks her neck and then she's paralyzed from the neck down and on a respirator for the rest of her life?" Billie repeated, throwing out a partial scenario she'd seen on television the other week. "And how the hell do you imagine he'll do that?" Van asked flabbergasted by the statement she was making. "He might drop kick her for a field goal." Billie surmised. Van's jaw dropped in shock as he looked on at his semi-delusional wife. "It could happen! Tomorrow is the USC game, after all." She elaborated her reasoning, when she saw the look on Van's face. With those words, Van completely lost it. All at once, he fell back on the bed, his body shaking with laughter and tears stinging his eyes. "It won't be so funny when your daughter is in a wheelchair!" Billie snapped at him, causing Van to clutch his ribs as he laughed even harder. Just then, the couples, well more like Billie's, ten-week-old Cock-a-poo puppy ran into the room to investigate the noise and jumped up on the bed next to Van. Van, who was still laughing hysterically, didn't notice the little white fur ball approach him until it was too late. Animatedly, the happy little dog, started to lick Van's face. Immediately, Van stopped laughing as a horrified look came over his face. "BILLIE!" He bellowed. Billie laughed heartily before she answered her traumatized husband. "Hmmm?" Came her reply. "What the hell was that?" He asked before his face was washed by the wet tongue again. "Get this damn dog out of my face before I drop kick her!" Van bellowed as he threw the small animal off his chest and onto the floor. The puppy landed on the floor with yelp as Billie let out a small scream and put Bella on the bed so she could pick up her dog. "Van, you could have killed her! What are you thinking?" She shouted as she cuddled the dog against her chest, as she would do Bella. "Honey, she's fine." Van told her. "You wouldn't do that to your daughter, would you?" Billie insisted. "Bella's a baby, not a dog." Van retorted. "Well, they're both my babies" Billie said as she kissed the furry white head, prompting the dog to kiss her face. "Come on Zsa Zsa. We don't need to be near that big meanie, now do we?" She cooed to the little ball of fur in her arms and headed downstairs.

Van sat up and put Bella on his lap as he watched Billie walk down the stairs, still cooing about the mean old man to the damn dog. "I worry about her sometimes." Van told his daughter as Billie disappeared from sight. As he watched on, he thought back to the day he met Zsa Zsa or Chewy as he liked to call her, since she had a habit of using his shoes for chew toys. It had been a long, boring day for Van when he got home just before seven that evening. The past six weeks, Van could hardly wait to get off work so that he could go home and spend the evening with his wife and daughter. As he got to the porch, he half wondered if he'd still feel this way when Billie came back to work in two weeks. Van clicked off the lock with his key and turned the knob. As he opened the door, he was frightened by a yapping, bouncing mass of white fur, just inside the foyer. He was so shocked at this strange thing in his house that he stepped back, missing the porch landing and losing his footing. It sent him falling onto the concrete flat on his ass as that little ball of white fur bounded on top of him and started to lick his face.

"What the…" Van started in shock before it hit him what this was. "Billie" he muttered, remembering the conversation where she'd told him she wanted to get a dog. In response he'd asked her, "You have a baby. Why do you need a dog too?" Remembering this, Van's face flushed red as he screamed bloody murder for his wife. "Billie! BILLIE! Dammit, get out here and get this thing off me right now!" He bellowed. Within seconds, his wife emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel with a smile on her face. "Hi honey!" She cheered as she approached the door. Billie slowly approached the scene on the porch as the cheerful puppy continued her assault of canine affection on Van. "Get this thing off me!" Van hollered at his wife as Billie started to laugh without even trying to hide it. "Aww, honey, she loves you!" Billie giggled as she bent down and took the rambunctious dog off her husband's chest. "She loves me?" Van asked as he sat up and glared at his wife. "Well yeah. She greeted you at the door." Billie answered, knowing what was coming next. "Then why did she try to kill me?" Van asked. "Don't be silly! She didn't try to kill you." She chastised him as she held the dog up and looked at her. "She did too! She tried to drown me!" Van argued his case against the demented fur ball as he stood up. "She did not! She just kissed you is all. Isn't that right, Zsa Zsa?" Billie said to the dog as the puppy wagged her tail happily and lapped at Billie's face excitedly. "Zsa Zsa?" Van asked casually, gesturing to the dog. "That's her name." Billie informed him. "Well, whose dog is she exactly?" Van asked, ready to bite Billie's head off if she told him it was her dog. "She's my dog!" Billie informed him, becoming almost as animated as the puppy, at her explanation. "She's your dog?" Van repeated what Billie said. "Yup!" she answered happily. "I don't remember agreeing to ever getting a dog, let alone a barking cotton ball with legs, Billie!" Van snapped as he glared at her. "Well, you didn't say I _couldn't_ have one." Billie argued. "What did I say then?" Van shot back. "You said, I had a baby, why did I need a dog too?" Came her answer. "And why do you need a dog? You never told me." Van challenged, getting irritated with her. "She's cute and cuddly." Billie said with a smile, while cuddling the furry creature as Bella began to fuss inside the house. "So is Bella" Van retorted as he headed towards the noise in the living room to see his daughter. "I want you to tell me that when she's thirteen, Van!" Billie called after him. Van just gave her the finger and a dirty look before he walked in to play with his daughter and ignore his wife for the evening.

There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.  
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done.  
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

Suddenly, the chiming of the doorbell yanked Van out of his thoughts. "Van, can you get that?" Billie called from her spot by the door. "Lazy" Van grumbled as he headed towards the stairs with the baby. "What was that?" Billie asked, knowing he'd lie and not repeat himself. "I said, yes dear." Van answered sheepishly. "That's what I thought." She answered skeptically, giving him her signature 'you're gonna get it' look and left the room with the dog. "What do you suppose mommy is going to do to me now?" Van asked his daughter as he opened the door to see Deaq on the other side. "Hey, man!" Deaq greeted his friend and walked into the spacious foyer when Van greeted him in return and stepped aside to let him in. "Hi princess!" He then greeted the baby as soon as Van closed the door. "You look aggravated. What did she do now?" Deaq asked noticing the expression on Van's face. Without fail, that tight-lipped look, meant that Billie had done something to get his boxers in a twist. "She's Billie. Need I say more?" Van grumbled as he turned around to walk further into the house. It was when they got into the kitchen that there was an excited bark from upstairs. "Is Billie feeling okay?" Deaq asked, thinking he'd heard a dog, but not sure of it. "She's fine. " Van said plainly, hoping Billie would keep the dog upstairs with her. "She sounds different. I know she used to bark at us, but that is ridiculous." Deaq joked, positive that he had indeed heard a dog, by Van's reaction. "She has a Cock-a-poo now, alright?" Van snapped, getting pissy about Deaq making fun of his wife. "A whatawhat?" Deaq asked, his face showing shock. "A cock-a-poo." Van repeated for his slow friend. "What the hell is a cockapoop!" Deaq asked, trying desperately not to laugh at the sheer hilarity of the word. "No, COCK-A-POO!" Van snapped at his friend loudly.

An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.  
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made.  
Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

No sooner, did Van get the word out of his mouth, then he heard a laugh coming from the doorway of the kitchen. He didn't even need to turn around, to know it was Billie, and she had the dog with her. Deaq's jaw falling through the floor, his eyes popping out of their sockets, and the red color his face flushed told Van what he needed to know. However, when Van turned around to see what Deaq saw, he was not prepared for what Billie had done to the dog. Billie had dressed the little animal up in a satin pink party dress with lace ruffles. On her head, were a tiara with pink rhinestones, two pink ribbons in her ears and, a pink collar with the name Zsa Zsa spelled out in rhinestones. Seeing this, Van immediately rubbed his eyes, to clear his vision of the horrific sight before him. When that didn't work, his jaw dropped, eyes popped and he turned a pasty green color as he took in the sight of the poor dog. Now, Van didn't like the bouncy little puppy, but looking at her now, even he felt bad for her. "Um….How….when…….where….what the hell did you do to her!" He finally spat out, after a moment of stammering. "I made her look all pretty for your walk." Billie said happily, wondering if he would catch on to what she was about to make him do. "Hearing the words, 'your walk', Deaq quickly caught on to what she was up to, and had to bite his lip to keep from busting out laughing as tears welled in his eyes and then ran down his cheeks. "No you didn't!" Van argued his case for the poor animal against his wife. "Yes, I did!" Billie argued back just as intently. "She looks like a pink nightmare Billie! You can't take her out like that!" He continued to argue, to save the dog embarrassment. Billie just batted her beautiful blue eyes at her husband and smiled sweetly. "What a minute. You aren't suggesting that I…" Van trailed off as he suddenly thought of what she'd said about the walk. Billie just nodded in the affirmative and pushed the pink nightmare into Van's arms, as Deaq completely lost it and sunk to the floor, Bella still in his arms and smiling at the happenings around her, as he laughed himself sick. "You look like Gary Coleman when you're about to shit a brick you know?" Van seethed at his friend sitting against the cabinets and still laughing hysterically. Billie laughed heartily at this, for a solid two minutes before gathering her composure and speaking to her horrified husband. "You need to take her for a walk before we leave." At the pasty color he turned, a devilish smile turned up the corners of Billie's pink lips. "I can't take her out in that!" Van hollered at his wife, gesturing to the pink atrocity in his arms. "You can, and you will." Billie told her mortified husband, flatly. "No! I can't!" Van protested again. "And why can't you?" Billie asked taking Bella out of Deaq's arms so he could get up. "Look at her Billie! She looks like something from When Peeps Attack!" Van practically shrieked. "Take her for a walk." Billie ordered again. "No! Absolutely not! You take her!" Van flatly disagreed. Billie stared daggers into him as she thought out her response. Finally, she had her reply. "Confucius say: Man who tell wife no, get no nookie for many, many moons." She coolly replied and smiled. Van grumbled and stomped out the door to take the dog for a walk, as he prayed no one would see him.

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,  
Shinin' down on me and you.  
When you put your arms around me,  
You let me know there's nothing in this world I can't do.

As Van slammed the door behind him, Deaq walked up next to Billie and snickered. "That's pretty damn funny" he told her quietly. "Hurt my baby while we're gone and you won't think it's very funny when you're in the dog's position." She threatened her employee, with a sweet smile on her face. "Why the hell would I hurt your baby, Billie? You know I love her, like my niece! She's as much my family as you and Van are!" Deaq replied in shock. "So, you promise you won't hurt her?" Billie asked him suspiciously. "I won't hurt her." Deaq repeated himself. "And you won't spike or drop kick her during the football game tomorrow?" She continued to prod him. "I won't use her to celebrate a touchdown. I can just spike that cute little puppy instead." Deaq said with a smile, knowing that would get under her skin real good. "Deaq!" Billie shrieked in horror, just as he'd predicted. "Don't worry Billie. Your dog and baby will be well cared for and fine when you return." He said, hoping to placate her into leaving him alone. "You're sure?" She asked, not convinced. "Positive" Deaq honestly reassured her. "You remember how to change a baby's diaper and everything?" Billie's quiz continued, as her nerves began to quiver more with the knowledge that Van would be back any second and it would then be time to leave the baby with Deaq for the weekend. "I remember how to feed her, warm her bottle, dress her, bathe her and change her diaper. Just like you showed me. Now just relax and enjoy your husband, okay?" Deaq told her, finally calming her nerves. "Okay, great." Billie said with a sigh of relief and halfhearted smile in Deaq's direction. "However, I don't think we went over how to diaper the dog so that I don't have to walk her." Deaq commented one final time, seeing that his boss was starting to finally relax about the trip for the first time in a week. "DEAQ!" Billie squealed as she burst into tears and began to sob uncontrollably. At that precise moment, Van returned from his walk. He led the little puppy into the house and quickly removed her humiliating outfit and he leash, before the sound of his wife sobbing and partner laughing filtered through his ears.

I used to run in circles goin' no-where fast.  
I'd take, uh, one step forward and two steps back.  
Couldn't walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

Van walked into the kitchen and quickly took in the sight of his emotional train wreck of a wife and his giddy partner. "What did you do to her!" Van yelled at his dumb shit of a friend. "I was just teasing with her, man. I didn't know she'd get so upset about me diapering the dog or spiking her like a football." Deaq replied quickly as Billie ran over to Van so he could envelope her in a calming embrace and try his best to shush her tears. "It's okay sweetie. I'm sure he didn't mean it. Now, calm down and tell me what happened." Van spoke softly to his wife all the while, giving Deaq a look of contempt. In response, Billie sobbed as she pointed to Deaq "He…he…he..s…sa…he said" She squeaked out before starting to sob into her husbands chest again. Van hugged his fragile wife tighter, kissing the top of her head and rubbed her back lightly, urging her to calm down. After several minutes, Deaq finally spoke up. "I'm sorry Billie. I was just kidding around. I should have considered how hard it is for you to leave your baby for the first time, but I was an ass instead. Can you forgive me?" Deaq said sincerely. Billie's sobs quieted enough for her to turn to Deaq and talk, all the while, Van's arms still draped protectively around her neck. "You were just being insensitive and you're sorry?" She asked through red-rimmed eyes. "Yes." He answered quietly. "And you aren't going to hurt her baby or her dog?" Van piped in. "The baby will be fed, changed, clothed, cleaned and loved. And I'll feed the dog everyday." Deaq answered his somewhat imposing friend. "You won't throw her, or put her in a diaper?" Billie asked, making sure all possibilities were covered. "I'll even take her for a walk in that dress if you want." Deaq told her. With that, Billie snickered. "You don't need to do that, Deaq. That get up is just something I got to make Van walk her in as a form of public humiliation for him." She said, looking at her husband over her shoulder to see just how thin the ice she was on was. "Billie" Van growled at her, letting her know she was in serious danger of falling into icy waters. "I know it was mean honey, and I'm sorry. But I bet you're never going to throw her again, are you?" She said half apologetically, half satisfied at the embarrassment she'd caused him. "Sometimes I really hate you, Billie!" Van snapped at his wife as he picked up his baby and handed her to Deaq so they could leave.

Whoa here we go now!

"It's time for us to leave." Van told the other two people in the room. With that, Billie took Bella out of Deaq's arms again and cuddled her close to her chest as she kissed the infant and began to cry again. Van and Deaq both watched on as the mother reluctantly prepared to separate herself from her child for more than a few hours, for the first time. The first day Billie returned to work, played out in similar fashion. Ruby had come over to watch Bella for the day and Billie had been unable to put the baby down and leave the house for a full twenty minutes. When she finally did, Van led her out the door and she cried the entire way to work and off and on for three hours afterwards. That day, Billie had called the house at least 5 times to check on her baby. Van and Deaq exchanged worried glances, both wondering if she would be able to do this for an entire weekend or not, as Billie whispered to her baby in a tone they could not hear. Finally she kissed the infants head again and told her, "I'll be back soon sweetheart. I love you." And tearfully handed the baby to Van to say goodbye to. Van's goodbye to his child took far less time than her mothers. He simply held her, looked at her face to memorize what it looked like at that moment, and kissed her. He passed the oblivious baby on to Deaq and said, "Bye angel. I love you. Don't learn anything new while we're gone." With that, the four of them, walked out to the red convertible the couple had that weekend. Van put the bags in the trunk as Billie gave Deaq a few last minute instructions. Moments later, the parents got into the vehicle and backed out of the driveway for a long awaited weekend. As they backed out of the driveway, Deaq picked up one of the smiling baby's hands and waved at them as he whispered to the tiny tot. "We're gonna have so much fun this weekend Bella. I'm gonna teach you all about football tomorrow and then I'll teach you about riding dirt bikes the day after that. Of course, you're too young to actually do any of those things still, but I figure for now, telling you about it, will work. But do you know what we're gonna do before that, huh?" He cooed to the infant as they walked back towards the house. Bella excitedly gurgled her response. "Oh, you don't know? Well, let me tell you the plan. We're gonna put on your sling and walk down to the park so that we can play on the swings. And then after that, we'll take some bread to the pond down the hill, and go feed the ducks. Does that sound like fun?" Deaq continued to lay out his itinerary for the child as he felt more comfortable in the role of baby sitter. In response, Bella kicked her feet and squealed happily.

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,  
Shinin' down on me and you.  
When you put your arms around me,  
Well, baby there ain't nothing in this world I can't do.

Later that afternoon, Billie and Van pulled into the Bellagio Hotel, where Billie had gotten the pair reservations for the weekend. As they walked into the posh hotel, Van took in the sights around him with awe. The first thing he noticed was that the lobby was huge and very fancy. The caramel colored marble floor was the first thing Van took in as they were showed through the large oak and glass doors by the door attendant. In the middle of the floor was an ornate, over sized area rug with blue, burgundy, caramel, and green hews creating its geometric pattern. Next, his eyes wandered to the furniture on top the ornate rug. The furniture was modern looking but comfortable and attractive. In short, the furnishings were such things that would make the Candy Store proud. His eyes next wandered up to the ceiling that was covered in multi colored things that looked like the oversized version of those little umbrellas that came in alcohol laden, tropical drinks. "Wow" he muttered under his breath as he took in his surroundings. For her part, Billie laughed at his reaction. "You like it?" She asked, knowing he did. "Uhuh" Van answered not paying attention to his wife. "I'm gonna go check in" she told him as she headed off to the large marble desk to get their room key. Van waved her off as he continued to take in his surroundings in awe.

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand,  
But you're teachin' me to be a better man.  
I don't want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

A few minutes later, Billie came back and grabbed Van's attention. "Van, I'd like you to meet someone." She said, trying to snap him out of his thoughts. Still awestruck by where he was at, Van half-heartedly answered, "Yeah, okay." "Honey, this is Richard Durham and old friend from high school" She introduced the two men. At the mention of another man's name, Van immediately paid attention to his beautiful wife and sized up his competition. Richard was a tall man, over six feet, with an athletic build and golden tan. He had a spiky hair cut and dark brown hair with chunky blonde highlights running throughout it. His eyes where a sparkling blue green color with amber flecks in the irises. To top it all off, he has a brilliant white smile and was dressed in a fancy Dolce & Gabbana double breasted, black dress suit. He wore a white shirt and a Gucci double ring, Italian silk tie, in purple.

I'm ready to love somebody,  
Love somebody like you. oooh.

"Hi." Van said shortly, trying his best to be nice. "Hi, I'm just an old friend of hers from high school." Richard reiterated what Billie had said, noticing Van's hostility instantly. "I'm Van, her husband." Van said, putting his arm possessively around his wife and giving Richard a hard stare as he noticed the taller man didn't have a wedding ring on his finger. Hearing his tone of voice and feeling the tight grip he had on her shoulders, Billie looked up at Van and saw the jealousy on his face. She decided not to smooth his feathers right away. _"This is what he gets for that Cassidy girl"_ She reasoned as she smiled flirtatiously at Richard and wrapped her arm around her husband tightly. "Richard, I see life has treated you well. You look wonderful!" Billie told her friend as she platonically checked him out. She loved Van with all her heart and soul and would never even entertain the idea of cheating on him, but she wasn't about to tell him that. "Why thank you. I see that having a baby didn't do you any harm either. If anything, motherhood has been good for you." Richard complimented as he looked over Billie's shapely figure, and smiled approvingly. "You've always been a flirt. Remember, I'm a married woman now. We have to be careful where we do this." Billie teased as she flirtatiously touched his arm.

An' I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you, yeah.

Seeing this, Van instantly felt himself get hot under the collar. _"That's it! She's gonna get it!"_ he thought to himself as he grabbed Billie's elbow. "Can I see you alone for just a minute, dear?" Van hissed into her ear as he began to pull her into the center of the lobby, away from Richard. "Um, will you excuse us just a second Richard? I think Van has his, jeans on a bit too tight. The blood isn't getting to his brain anymore." Billie said, the contempt for her husband in her voice clear, at the end of her sentence to her friend. "Certainly, I'll have the bell hop take you things up to the penthouse." Richard said as he headed away from the couple and to the desk. "What in the hell do you think you're doing!" Van yelled at his wife as soon as Richard walked away from them. "What in the hell am I doing? I'm talking to an old friend! What are you doing acting all jealous like this!" Billie yelled back. "Why am I jealous! Why! You really want me to tell you that, Billie!" Van seethed at his wife. "I do. Tell me Van!" Billie challenged. "I'm jealous because I love you!" Van spat out his answer. "You love me! You love me! Are you fucking kidding me? You love me, so you act like an asshole in front of someone that is important to me! If that's love, what the hell is hate!" Billie shrieked as tears began to well in her eyes. "Oh hell no! Why are you crying! Do you have to make a scene right now!" Van said loudly, but not yelling, in hopes that she wouldn't cry. When he saw the tears flow down her cheeks and her shoulders shake with sobs, he knew he needed to try something else. "Don't make a scene Billie." He said quietly, hoping she'd knock it off. "Don't make a scene? You don't want me to make a scene! You're screaming at me in the lobby of a hotel, but I'm making the scene! How in the hell do you figure that!" She sobbed as she sank into a chair against a wall and cried. "You're flirting with a handsome, single man." Van retorted. "So?" Came the defiant reply of his wife. "So! You're married and a mother! That's so what! You can't be wandering like that if we're gonna make this family work, Billie!" Van shot back at his hysterical spouse. Her level of agitation just played into his thinking that she knew he had caught her with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. "He's gay, Dipshit!" She hissed loudly. "Huh?" Van asked, not sure he'd heard her right. "He's gay Van. Richard has had the same partner, Lance, for almost six years now." She repeated calmer, this time. "What do you have to say about that?" She asked, standing up to meet his shocked expression. Van just looked on at his wife and then over his shoulder at Richard, and the crowd of people that had formed around them as they were arguing. "You are?" Van asked Richard, and in response, received a nod in the affirmative. "I don't seem like such a slut now, huh?" Billie retorted and walked towards the elevator, not even bothering to let Van answer her.

Oh yeah.  
Oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night,  
Shinin' like it's true.  
I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you  
When everything that loved someone finally found it's way  
Wanna be a better man  
I see it in you yeah...

Van stared on at his wife as she took the key to their suit out of Richard's hand and continued to walk towards the elevator. "Billie, wait!" Van called after her as he began to move through the throng of people towards his wife. Billie just looked back at him, her face red from crying and her eyes, sad and empty, as she pressed the button. Before Van got to the elevator, the doors opened and Billie hopped in and pressed the door close button. The last person she wanted to be around right now was Van. Unfortunately, Van made it into the elevator just before the doors closed.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Well, I'm back! I know y'all are glad to see me! It's been a long time, I know and I apologize. I've been VERY busy! Anyway, on to personals!

DKM: We're getting closer to finding out how she got those tickets! I hope this was enough to wet your appetite for the rest of it!

Simbagirl: I am sure you'll like this one too! This was lots of fun to write!


	30. Chapter 30

Ch 30 All I Really Need Is You

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything about your friend or you." Van said upon entering the small enclosure, hoping he could smooth this over easily. "You really are a dick Van! Do you have any idea how degrading that is to me to have you screaming at me in the middle of a lobby?!" Billie yelled at her husband as she moved as far away from him into a corner of the small space as she could. "No. I don't know. Do you know what it's like to have your wife cheat on you?!" Van yelled as he approached Billie to make her look at him. Van said this just as the elevator dinged to signal they had reached the 32nd floor of the hotel. "Go to hell!" Billie screamed as she shoved him away from her and quickly headed out the elevator doors and down to the penthouse, which they had for the weekend. Billie pulled the key card out of her jacket pocket and fumbled for the slot to insert the card. As she fumbled to unlock the door, she was vaguely aware of tears clouding her vision.

Billie pushed her way inside the spacious suite and pushed the door closed behind her, only to have Van catch it, just in the knick of time. "Billie, I'm sorry," He said once again, as looked at his wife's back. "No you aren't." She sobbed as the tears started to flow down her apple shaped cheeks. "Honey, yes I am. I never meant to upset you." Van calmly and sincerely replied, hearing that she was crying now. "Oh you didn't upset me at all!" She sarcastically replied. "I didn't? Then why are you crying?" Van stupidly asked in confusion. Hearing such a stupid question, Billie's eyes sharply looked up from the floor as her face flushed read and she felt the rage build up in her chest as her fists clenched tightly at her sides. "What?" She hissed through clenched teeth as her knuckles turned white from the amount of pressure she was holding on her fists. "I said, if I didn't upset you, then why are you being such a dramatic baby about it?" Van repeated, peppering what he had said with a well-worded insult. Hearing this, the detonate button on Billie's temper was sharply hit. She wheeled around and forcefully shoved him backwards. "You stupid, low life, son of a bitch!" She screamed at him as he fell backwards, hitting the edge of the large rectangle, glass and white wicker table in the dinning room. "Dammit Billie!" Van yelped in pain as the glass broke a two-inch area of skin open on his lower back, causing it to bleed freely. Studying himself, he squared his shoulders and went toe to toe with his wife and he yelled in her face, "Whoa! Who the hell lit the fuse on your tampon?!" Without warning, Billie drew back her left fist and landed a hard punch, firmly in the middle of Van's chest. The force of the punch knocked the wind out of Van as he stumbled back and caught himself on the glass table before his body was able to make it all the way to the floor. Van took a moment to steady him self and catch his breath, before yelling at Billie again. "What the hell is your problem? Have you gone psycho or something?!" In response to this question, Billie balked and just stared at Van. Sensing that he'd hit the nail on the head, Van pressed on for an answer. "Seriously, what about Richard has you irked so bad? Is there some sort of secret history you two have that you have neglected to tell me, Billie?" Van asked, expecting her to deny what he was implying.

Instead of the quick, bitchy denial Van expected to get from his wife, along with a well-placed slap, Billie's face flushed red as tears welled in her eyes and she quickly turned her back on Van and hoped he'd leave her alone long enough to dry her tears and pretend that his comment had just pissed her off, and didn't mean anything more. Despite trying her best to stop crying, and be angry at Van, Billie knew she was angry with herself. She knew she should have told Van about why Richard meant so much to her long before they were engaged and just laid it all out on the table. Now she was standing here kicking herself for not telling him her darkest secret much sooner.

Seeing Billie turn around so quickly, then listening to her crying softly, Van sighed. _"How did I know she has something else to tell me? I just hope it's nothing as horrible as being raped by her step dad when she was fourteen was."_ Van thought to himself as he thought of what would be the least harmful thing to say to her at this point. "What is it now Billie?" Van asked softly, not afraid that she would become extremely angry with no warning anymore. "I'm sorry. I should have told you!" Billie sobbed as she collapsed on the white couch and burst into tears. "Why are you sorry? What should you have told me?" Van asked calmly as he sat next to his distraught spouse. At his calmness, Billie cried even harder. She wanted Van to yell at her. She wanted him to make her feel as guilty as she'd made herself feel for almost fifteen years now. "You want to talk about it?" Van asked her softly. The two had such a deep connection that instinctively, Van could feel that she was in terrible emotional pain, and whatever was making her this upset, was a traumatic thing she had kept buried for a very long time. Billie looked up at Van, her cheeks stained with fresh tear tracks as she shook her head 'no' and then buried her face back in her hands and continued to cry. She felt that if she cried long and hard enough, the pain would go away, and she would be able to go on with her life and would finally be able to put Adam behind her. In response, Van scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm gently around her shoulders. "It's okay. When you're ready." Van whispered in her ear as he pressed his lips into her hair for a loving kiss.

Fifteen minutes later, Billie had calmed down considerably, but still hadn't said a word. Van was getting irritated that she wasn't talking, but he blamed himself for that, since he gave her an open-ended timetable to talk to him about what was going on. Van knew if you left Billie with the option to talk or not to talk, she would always choose to keep her mouth shut. _"Maybe she just needs a little prodding"_ he reasoned as he debated the best way to get her to talk without her causing any more bodily harm than she already had. "It was bad, wasn't it?" Van asked a broad based question about what situation had made her so upset. "Uhuh" Billie answered in a barely audible tone. "Was it recent?" He continued to prod, hoping to get her give him a better time frame of when whatever it was happened. "No" She said simply. "Did Richard hurt you?" Van asked, hoping to get an idea of what about him upset her so much. "Maybe." She replied and looked in Van's general direction, but not directly at him. _"What the hell kind of answer is that?!" _ Van thought to himself, but bit his tongue before he yelled at her. "What do you mean by 'maybe'?" Van asked her, trying not to get irritated with her. "I mean which Richard are you talking about? Do you mean my step dad Richard, or my friend Richard?" She clarified nervously. Billie knew she would have to start talking once Van started to get closer to what the problem was. But still, she had a little time left to be difficult, so she decided to take advantage of it. "I know your step dad hurt you, but I mean your friend this time." Van growled inadvertently at his wife in frustration.

Sensing the agitation in Van's voice, Billie began to cry again. "You're gonna get really mad at me if I tell you" she told him as she tried to stop her tears. "Why do you think I'll be mad?" Van asked sharply. "See? You're already mad and I didn't even tell you what happened after the rape when I came out to California!" She wailed hysterically as she buried her face in her arms, which were crossed on her lap. Van knew, instantly, that the rape had some connection to why Billie was so closely guarding her friendship with Richard. "How long were you in California before you met Richard?" Van asked, deciding to start with the easy questions to get whatever he could out of her. "About two weeks." She replied quietly. At this point, her face started to peek out from its hiding spot and look at him. "Where did you sleep all that time?" He continued quietly, although he was sure that he didn't actually want to hear the answer to that question. "In the bus station" Billie continued to answer his questions compliantly. "You lived in a bus station? Where did you keep your things?" He asked, clearly in shock. "I didn't have a lot of 'things'. I had a duffle bag with my clothes and a smaller back pack with things I could sell so I could eat." Billie filled in the details of her survival for her husband. She was clearly a bit more comfortable being forthcoming now with some information about her early days in California. "Wow, it's a miracle some pervert didn't try to hurt you during that time" Van absentmindedly commented as he ran his fingers through Billie's hair. "They did try." Billie quietly corrected him. "What?" Van asked, again in shock. "Sometimes, weird guys would offer me money to sleep with them instead of buying stuff from me." She explained. "Did you do it?" He heard himself ask involuntarily. "What kind of slut do you think I am?! Of course I didn't do it!" Billie yelled as she recoiled from her husband's touch.

Realizing his monumental error, Van tried his best to rectify the situation. "Sweetheart, I know you aren't a slut. I didn't mean to imply that you ever were, and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Okay? Well you finish telling me about how you met Richard? I'll try not to say anything else so stupid." Van apologized, in hopes she would feel comfortable enough to continue. Billie smiled slightly when she heard Van promise to keep the stupidity to a minimum. _"That's probably a lot like promising Deaq he'll shut up for ten minutes when they're in a car together for twelve hours."_ She thought before nodding slightly and continuing her story. "Okay, how did you meet Richard?" Van steered the conversation in another direction that he deemed a safer topic of discussion. "I saw him in the terminal and tried to sell him a bracelet I had made from some beads and yarn an old lady gave me. He told me that he left his wallet outside and before he could take the bracelet, he had to go get some money for it." She recalled in a thoughtful tone that indicated to Van she knew how lucky she was to have that bracelet to sell when he came by. "He was gone for a little while and he came back in with this lady. At first I was scared of her." Billie explained the events that followed. "Why were you afraid of her? Did she seem threatening to you?" Van asked carefully. "Not really, she had a friendly face and Richard seemed to really like her, but I was afraid she was from Child Welfare, or would call them and then I would be sent back to live at home." Billie replied in a shaky voice as a few tears slid down her cheeks. Van reached over and wiped her tears away with his thumb. Billie took his hand in hers and rested it on her lap before continuing. "Anyway, she asked me how old I was. I told her I was eighteen and she promptly told me I was lying, because I didn't look like I could be older than fourteen or fifteen. I told her that she was right, and how old I was. Then I told her that I was raped by my step dad and ran away from home and was living in the bus station. She told me to get my things because I was coming home with them, to at least be cleaned up and have a hot, home cooked meal. When her husband, Brian got home, Claire and he would discuss what to do with me next." Billie explained further. At this point, she paused thoughtfully and didn't continue her story until Van gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"We got to this beautiful house and I just stared in awe. I hadn't seen such a beautiful house before. They had a two-story home with four bedrooms. There was a porch with a white swing to sit on, and a big tree to climb in the front yard. We went in and Claire told Richard to show me to the room I would sleep in if I wanted to stay that night. So Richard took me upstairs with my things and showed me the room I would sleep in that night. When I walked in, I knew I would stay there that night. It had been so long since I slept in a bed that just the idea of it was exciting." Billie explained her feelings with all the excitement of a child getting her first bike for Christmas. "Richard walked out of the room when Claire walked in. She helped me take all my clothes out of my duffle bag, but frowned when she realized they hadn't been washed in a couple weeks. So, she told me that I would wear some of her things til she got my clothes clean, but I had to take a bath first. She showed me into the bathroom and handed me a pair of green sweats to wear when I was done, along with the fluffiest towel I had ever felt in my whole life and a washcloth. I sat in that tub for at least an hour while there was a dinner of pepper steak, rice and garlic bread being cooked downstairs. It smelled wonderful. I remember thinking of how lucky I was to be able to eat a good meal for the first time in a long time with people I felt like I could actually trust. Finally Claire came and told me that Brian was home and dinner was ready." Billie got a far away look on her face as she remembered the peace of that day. "I went downstairs and Brian introduced himself to me and was so friendly. He took an interest in my life as it was already, and asked me things about what I liked to do, did I go to school, when my birthday was, and what I would like for Christmas. I really felt like one of their kids. That was the first time in 7 years that I felt like I belonged somewhere." She finished and looked up at Van to see what he was going to say to all that.

"Wow. So I guess they kind of saved you, huh?" Van asked thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think they really did. I credit them with helping me be the person I am today." Billie confirmed his suspicion. "They did a good job with you." Van said as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "There's more." Billie told him, not wanting to be wrapped up in emotions too much just yet. "Go on" Van encouraged. "Well, we stayed up late that night and talked. Brian and Claire decided it was best if I stayed with them and they would try to help me get back into school so I could get my diploma and then go to college. I was so thankful that someone finally took an interest in me, and I prayed that I wouldn't do anything to screw it up. Well the next 4 months were good. I was able to get back in school and was doing really well. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas with their family and I was welcomed with open arms as if I had always belonged there." She recalled with a smile. "That sounds lovely" Van replied, thinking of his own upbringing, and what holidays were like with the circus he called a family. Not long after school came back in that January, Claire kept me home from school one day. I was laying on the couch watching Jenny Jones when she came in to talk to me. She asked me if I was feeling okay. I told her I was and asked her what was up. She had never let me stay home before unless I really was sick, so this was strange. She then told me that she noticed my body seemed to be changing, and I asked her how she meant. She told me that I was getting a bit of a tummy and seemed sick off and on. I agreed that I had a tummy, but I didn't think anything of it at the time. Then she asked me if I was pregnant. I was shocked, since I had never been told how you could tell if you were pregnant. She told me we needed to go see a doctor and find out if I was. I was scared then, because I knew if I was, then it was a bad thing. So, we went to the clinic and they drew some blood and told us they would call with the results in a few hours." Billie trailed off, nervous about telling Van the rest of the story. "It's okay." Van whispered softly, steeling himself for the revelation, he already knew was coming. "That afternoon, the nurse from the clinic called and told Claire that yes I was pregnant. Claire called Brian to come home early and then we all sat down and tried to figure out what to do with the baby. They told me that if I wanted to have the baby, that was okay. I didn't know how to raise a baby. I was still only a kid myself. I told them that, but I didn't think I wanted to have an abortion to get rid of it. Over the next few weeks, we talked and decided that Claire and Brian would adopt the baby once he was born. I could still live with them as long as I liked, and I was fully expected to interact with the baby as much as I wished to." Billie said this last part without taking a break. She was sure if she stopped talking, she would never be able to get the rest of the story out.

Van looked on at his fragile wife in shock. He wasn't so much shocked that she had kept this from him, as he was that she had survived it all and was mature enough to do the best thing for her baby. Then it all hit him. "You have a child out there. A boy?" Van surmised what he could from what she'd told him so far. Billie just nodded her head in the affirmative, and then continued the story. "I had the baby the following July. Together, the three of us decided to name him Adam Benjamin. He was so perfect; he looked just like William did when he was a baby. We brought Adam home and, as painful as it was, I signed the adoption papers and he legally became their son. I spent the next four years growing up and doing the things other teenage girls did. I always told people that Adam and Richard where my brothers. We were so much like family. Besides, I knew that if I told people he was really my son, I would be asked so many questions. After I graduated high school, I was accepted into the police academy in Bakersfield, and I said goodbye to Adam and my family and moved on with my life. I've kept in touch with Clare and Brian and even have seen pictures of Adam, but I haven't actually gotten the nerve to talk to my son in 11 years." Billie said mournfully. "Where do they live now?" Van asked, hoping she knew. "They live in Luxemburg, Germany. Brian got a job transfer there when Adam was around 7." Came her reply. "Do you miss him?" Van asked his final question. "Every day. I wonder what he's doing now. What his friends are like. Has he learned to speak German? I wonder what kind of mom I would have made." She said sadly, as she began to cry freely. "A wonderful mom. You would have made a wonderful mom to that little boy. As it was, you did the best thing you could as a mother and thought of what was best for your baby." Van soothed as he pulled Billie into a strong hug and let her cry. A few minutes later, Billie had regained her composure and looked up at Van before asking, "You really think I would have made a great mom to him?" "Absolutely. I have no reason to think otherwise." Van said with a smile before descending on her lips in a tender kiss that lingered.

"Are you ready yet?" Van called to his wife in the bathroom. They had to leave in twenty minutes, and Van feared that at the rate they were going, she would never be done. "Ten more minutes!" Billie happily called back from her spot in front of the mirror where she had just finished putting on her gold, pear shaped, cognac drop earrings and six gold stackable bangle bracelets. "That's what you said an hour ago" Van grumbled as he got up from the bed and moved towards the bathroom where his wife was getting ready. "What was that? I didn't quite here you!" Billie replied, a smile curling her pink lips. She'd heard him perfectly and wouldn't expect any other reaction; Still, she had to give him a hard time about it. "You have the hearing of a bat, you know?" Van cockily replied as he leaned against the door jam and watched her primp in front of the mirror. "And yet, you still say stuff and act like I won't hear it" She quipped back, smiling at his reflection in the mirror. "Har har. You're funny." Van replied, still watching her. "Help me" Billie said as she held up the pear shaped, gold cognac necklace she was going to wear. Van smiled and walked up behind her, taking the gold necklace out of her hands as she moved her curled hair out of the way so he could put the item on her. That being done, he leaned down and placed a soft lingering kiss on the side of her neck. "You know, we could just stay in and be…together, instead of going to the concert." Van breathed seductively against her ear as looked in the mirror to see her reaction. Billie gave the idea a momentary thought before she met his eyes in the mirror and answered. "We're going to the concert." She flatly answered. "What, you don't want to stay here with your dashing husband and get cozy?" Van flirted. "Do you have any idea what kind of sexual favors I had to perform to get those tickets, Van?" Billie asked with a smile. "I don't. Why don't you show me?" Van flirted back right on cue. "Maybe I will." She said as she turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck as she drew him into a seductive kiss that lingered. "We better get going. We're gonna be late." She said, pulling away from his lips and extracting herself form his grasp to walk out of the bathroom. Van watched her sashay her way into the bedroom in that clingy chocolate brown dress she had bought for the occasion. Billie quickly slipped on the leopard print, open toe 3.5" pumps she had purchased to go with the dress before calling to Van, who was still standing in the bathroom. "You coming or not?" She asked as she turned to see him emerge form the bathroom with a grin on his face. "So, you promise to show me later?" He asked casually as he slipped on the black velvet blazer he had chosen to wear with that navy blue and caramel stripped shirt and the Manhattan slouchy jeans for the concert. The black Gucci Moccasins he had picked up a day earlier completed his outfit for the evening. "Let's go." He said eagerly as Billie picked up her brown leather satchel and followed him out the door into the hallway, for what was turning out to be a promising evening, so far.

The couple rode down the elevator to the lobby, holding hands, kissing and flirting the entire time until the doors open. "What?" Billie asked as they walked through the lobby and she noticed Van hadn't taken his eyes of her in several minutes. "You look beautiful." He whispered in her ear as he gave her hand and affectionate squeeze. For her part, Billie wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. Just as they were making their way through the lobby, Van spotted Richard at the front desk. "Come on." He said as he grabbed Billie's hand and led her towards where the taller man was standing. "Van, please don't make another scene." She pleaded getting that sick feeling in her stomach again. "Don't worry" he whispered to her as they came up to Richard. "Richard, hi." Van said politely. "Van, Billie! So nice to see you both again. I trust things are going better and you've kissed and made up?" Richard replied enthusiastically. With that, Billie blushed and looked down as she smiled. "Oh, so you really made up, huh Van?" Richard asked her smiling husband. "Uh, yeah" Van said, getting a kick out of making Billie blush. She wasn't easily embarrassed, so Van thoroughly enjoyed it when she was. "That's sort of why I wanted to talk to you." Van said, steering the conversation back to where he intended it to go. "Oh, really? Well, go on." Richard encouraged, genuinely interested in what Van had to say. "Well, see. I just wanted to tell you that, well, I'm…I'm..." Van trailed off, not quite able to swallow his pride and get the words out just yet. "You're what, Van?" Billie hissed, praying he wasn't going to cause another scene. Van looked at his wife and knew he had to swallow his pride; for her. "I'm sorry I made a scene this afternoon and embarrassed you both. Now that I know about more about you and how you both became so close, I understand things better." Van said looking at his wife and smiling. "Oh, Adam?" Richard asked, instantly knowing that Billie had finally told him. "Yeah, I told him the whole story." Billie said, a twinge of sadness tugging at her heart when she heard his name. "He asks me about you whenever we talk." Richard said. "Really? He still remembers me?" Billie asked in shock. She didn't think Adam would remember her after all this time. "Yeah, he asks me how his 'special mom' is all the time. He was really happy when I told him you got married and had a baby." He informed his old friend as tears sprang to her eyes. "He called me that? Really?" Billie asked in disbelief. She had assumed he would hate her for leaving him and not looking back. "He did. You're still apart of his family. You should give him a call sometime." Richard encouraged, knowing that Billie had desperately wanted to talk to him many times, but was afraid that he would reject her. "Maybe I will. Thanks." Billie said and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek Before turning to her husband and speaking. "We better get going if we want to get the good seats." Billie commented and began to walk away. "Um, Richard, I was wondering if you could take care of something for me." Van said as he pulled out a slip of paper from his jacket pocket and slipped it to the other man. Richard opened the paper up and read the note. He saw that it was a surprise for Billie and smiled. "Sure thing. I'll have it ready when you get back." He replied before heading off. "Thanks" Van called after him as he hurried after his wife.

The concert was wonderful, as it turns out. Van and Billie got there and got to their seats right in front with the perfect view of the stage. Admittedly, Neil Diamond wasn't exactly Billie's cup of tea, as far as music was concerned; but Van had to hand it to her that she was being a good sport about the whole thing. _"I hope she doesn't expect me to sit through some Dave Navarro concert after this."_ Van thought to himself as Neil began his final set. As if reading his thoughts, Billie leaned over and whispered in his ear; "you know, next time we should really go see someone I like, like Dave Navarro or something." "You wouldn't make me do that." Van challenged. "I wouldn't?" She questioned him playfully. "You're evil." Van joked back. "Why thank you" Billie said with a laugh and laid her head on Van's shoulder as she turned her attention back to the stage for the rest of the show.

After the show, Van and Billie got back to the hotel just in time to see Richard behind the desk closing up his work for the night. "Did you guys have fun?" He asked as he took note of their smiling faces. "It was wonderful! I see you're putting in some major overtime tonight." Billie answered back. "Like you never do it." Van retorted playfully, getting a chuckle out of her. "Well, I'm almost done. I just have one more project that needs to be started before I go home." He answered with a smile in Van's direction. "Okay, well don't work too hard." Van said as he led Billie towards the elevator. "Night, Richard." She called over her shoulder. Richard waved in their direction as he picked up the phone to get Van's surprise underway.

The pair quickly hurried up to their suite to finish what they had started earlier. Van fumbled with the key card until the door finally unlocked. He opened the door and flipped on the light. Quickly, Van turned around and scooped Billie up in his arms, carrying her inside and closing the door. Billie gasped in surprise as he did this, but giggled, remembering their wedding night. Van carried her though the small sitting room and deposited her on the king sized bed in the bedroom. "What are you laughing about?" He asked as he sat next to her. "I was just thinking about the last time you carried me over a threshold." She explained. "Oh really? When was that?" Van asked pretending to be clueless about when she meant. "Our wedding night silly. You do remember our wedding don't you?" Billie asked, her eyes narrowing on him. "Wedding day? Wait a minute. You mean we're married? I never knew that!" Van said sarcastically, with a wry smile tugging at his lips. "Van, have you ever wondered what life would be like with only nine fingers?" She asked, her voice monotone, but just playful enough for him to know she wasn't serious about that question. "You know, ever since I almost got the chance to find out, I haven't been especially curious about it." He said with a laugh as he looked at the scare that graced the thumb on his left hand. "You know, I think that was the most scared I've ever been when I got that phone call with you screaming." Billie said taking his hand in hers and examining the scar. "You were scared for me? Why?" Van asked, sure that she really did care about him at that point. "Because. I didn't know what they were going to do to you. For all I knew they could have planned to kill you since you were a cop." Billie explained. "So, you had feelings for me even then, huh?" Van goaded, wondering if she would admit it. "No, I was…concerned." Billie finally decided on saying. She was in no hurry to tell him that yes, she cared from the first day she met him. "Concerned? That's it? I see." Van said, knowing it had to be more than concern. "You sound like Deaq, you know?" Billie quipped. "Deaq? What does Deaq have to do with it?" He quizzed his wife. Billie chuckled as she remembered. "When I got to the hospital, he told me I had feelings for you that went beyond boss and employee" she answered. "And was he right?" Van asked her. In response, Billie pulled his lips into hers for a sweet simple kiss. One thing led to another, and soon, Van had Billie laid out on the bed, and was beginning to work the dress off her body. Just then, there was a knock at the door that brought there activities to a halt. "Why don't you go get rid of whoever that is, and I'll slip into something a little more comfortable." Billie suggested. Van grinned and got up to answer the door as Billie got off the bed to get changed.

After all these years  
After all these tears between us  
Still I couldn't find  
Someone half as right as you  
And each time I stop to think  
What it is I really need  
Here's what I conclude  
All I really need is you

Ten minutes later, Billie reemerged into the bedroom wearing a stunning red, satin halter chemise. Van looked up from the candles he had just lit and his jaw practically hit the floor. "Wow, you look…wow!" Van said with a smile and walked over to give her a kiss. "What have you done here?" Billie asked surprised at the table that had been set up with a red tablecloth, candles, bucket of Cuvee Dom Perignon Rose Champagne and platter of chocolate covered strawberries. "This is a surprise I had Richard set up while we were at the concert" Van informed. He led her over to the table and pulled out a chair for her to sit in. Going around to the other chair, Van to, had a seat and poured them both a glass of champagne. After he sat the bottle back in the bucket to chill, he looked up at Billie to notice her crying softly. "What's the matter? Don't tell me you don't like being spoiled after all." Van said, a hint of teasing in his voice. With that, Billie smiled as she wiped her tears and looked up at him. "No, no. I love it. Really. It's just that, well, no one has ever done this for me before." She explained. "Well, I'm glad you like it. You deserve nothing but the best." Van said as he laced his fingers with hers, and lifted his glass with his right hand. "A toast" he started, prompting Billie to raise her glass as well. "To us and our love. A love that only comes along once in a lifetime. May it grow and strengthen over time. I love you, Billie." He professed, his eyes getting moist with tears. Billie smiled and took a sip out of her glass before going around the table and taking a seat on his lap. "I love you too, Van" she said softly and kissed him.

Just say what you want to say  
You don't have a chance in the world  
Can I, knowing how I've tried  
Still come close to losing you, girl  
When you are my world  
Have I spent so many years  
Trying but in vain to tell you  
Don't you know it's true  
All I really need is you

After a moment, the kiss broke off and the couple just stared into each others eyes. "I almost forgot. I have something for you." Van told her and picked up an envelope from beside the bucket and handed it to her to open. Billie carefully opened the envelope and pulled the marbled paper out opening it up to reveal what was written on the inside. The letter said:

Dear Billie,

I love you. Since you came into my life, I've looked forward to each tender moment, the early morning, with you in my loving embrace, the serene skies with us beneath a zillion stars, just you and me. You make me feel cherished and lovable as no one else ever could. I like the person I am when I'm with you. You bring out a part of my soul I never knew existed, a part that was born with our first touch. You made me realize how precious and fleeting life is; now I have a reason to embrace every moment; now I have a cause, a reason to believe in all the wonderful treasures life has to offer. You took my emptiness and drew me into the fullness of love, and you saw in me all the qualities that no one else had ever touched upon. You gave me strength, trust, love, and undying commitment. Yes, I love you, for all these amazing gifts and so much more. I love you for being yourself, and I love you because of the person you made me.

Love always and forever,

Van

Billie finished reading the letter and looked up at her husband, tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew Van loved her, but she never imagined he could put it into words so eloquently. "I love you" she whispered as she sat the letter on the table and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Van smiled against her lips and stood up with her in his arms, carrying her to the bed.

How was I to know  
We'd have ended here  
Where we finally did  
You tied you life to mine Once upon a starry night  
And when someone asks of me  
What it is that I believe  
Say, I believe it's true  
All I really need is you

Before Van and Billie knew it, it was time to go home. They're last day in Vegas had been a wonderful one. They had gone out to eat, had lunch with Richard, and Billie had even found the courage to call Claire and Brian, and even spoke to Adam at length. After that conversation, Van could see a change in his wife. She seemed calmer some how. He couldn't be sure, but Van thought that maybe she had finally made her piece with her rape and the resulting baby and adoption that came from it. All he knew for sure was that when they pulled into the driveway of their home, Billie seemed like a different person.

Just say what you want to say  
We don't have a chance in the world  
Can I, knowin' how I've tried  
Still come close to losing you, girl  
When you are my world

They both jumped out of the car and hurried to the front door. After spending the weekend away from Bella, neither Van nor Billie, could wait to see her and tell her how much they loved and missed her. Van quickly unlocked the door, and upon entering the foyer, they were met with the excited yapping of the little white puppy they left in Deaq's care days before. Strangely, Van thought, it was nice to see the little dog again. "Hi Chewy" he greeted as he pushed the uber excited fur ball aside with his foot so he could go into the house further and find his daughter. For her part, Billie picked up the dog and cuddled her as she followed Van. "Hey guys!" Deaq greeted from the kitchen where he stood holding the baby and putting the dishes away, when he saw the two enter. "How was the trip?" He asked them as he walked over and handed the baby to Billie. "It was great." She told him as she took the infant out of his arms and cuddled her. "How did things go here? I see nothing horrible happened." Van commented as he also greeted his daughter. "Oh things went well. I got peed on, pooped on, thrown up on, my ear drums almost got ruptured from her crying. Oh, and did I mention your dog shit in my shoe?" Deaq gave a run down of his end of the weekend. "Well, I'm glad to here things went smoothly" Billie said with a chuckle. "I didn't realize there was shit in my shoe til I put it on." Deaq growled at her, causing Van to let out a hearty laugh. "Did I mention we lost the game, too?" Deaq grumbled causing Billie to give him a lock of mock pity. "Oh you poor thing. I guess your life is over now?" She cooed. "Shut up" Deaq snapped at her before turning his attention to Van and changing the subject. "So, what did you do this weekend?" He asked, thinking it was a safe question. "Well, we went to the concert. I met one of her friends. Yes, she does have those, apparently" Van said, noticing the look of shock on Deaq's face at the insinuation that Billie might actually be a people person after all. "Anything else?" Deaq asked. "Yeah. I ate. I slept. I played pool. I played with my wife." Van said, a big grin gracing his face at his last statement, and the corresponding green color Deaq turned. "As much as I'd like to hear more dirty stories, I think it's best if I go home now and leave you guys alone." He said and headed upstairs to grab his things before he left.

Have I spent so many years  
Tryin' but in vain to tell you  
Feelings come and go  
Me, I'm never gonna ever let you go  
Promise you I'm gonna always love you so  
'Cause all I really need is you

That just left Van and Billie to spend time with their daughter and reminisce about the weekend before the grind of work began again the following day.

Okay, finally an update! Sorry this has taken so long, I've been busy lately! We're getting close to being done!

DKM: You know I had to put Cock-a-poo in there JUST for you! It was the dirtiest sounding dog breed I could find. I think Billie just might get a kick out of pushing all Van's buttons at once like that. I hope you like this chapter as much as I do.

Unsigned: Thanks for reading!

Music: Neil Diamond "All I Really Need Is You"


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